# Women and personal ads

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-and-personal-ads/62323>\
**Category:** The BBQ Pit\
**Created:** [April 17, 2001, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-and-personal-ads/62323 "2001-04-17T21:38:09Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 2\
**Page:** 1

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**Author:** ![elmwood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmwood/32/3060_2.png) [@elmwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elmwood)\
**Post date:** [April 17, 2001, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-and-personal-ads/62323/1 "2001-04-17T21:38:09Z")

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Ten words – “If you aren’t going to answer, don’t place an ad.”

I’m relativesly shy when it comes to meeting women. Not socially inept, not ugly, not otherwise undatable … just shy. Therefore, I often use online personal ads as a way of meeting women. I figure “if she’s got an ad up, she’s looking to meet someone.”

I don’t answer every ad out there, nor do I limit my responses to those whose profiles show pictures of attractive women. I don’t answer ads where it’s obvious a woman is seeking someone who’s not like me (i.e. six digit income, six pack abs, six feet tall). Maybe one a week, maybe every other week tops. I don’t send out generic form letters – I spend about 30 to 45 minutes sending off a witty, spell-checked response, describing what I saw in the ad that interested me, and telling a little bit about myself. No me, me, me; no perverted talk; no romantic cliches – just what I liked about her, why I think we’re a good match, a bit about me, and a somewhat flattering picture of me with my adorable dog.

Do I get any responses to the letters I send out? Nope. The evidence of my wordsmithing ends up in the bit bucket, unceremoniously made a victim of a button showing an icon that looks like a trash can.

I know women get lots of responses to their ads, sometimes hundreds. Why is it that my time is seen as expendable – that I’m not worthy of the minute or two it takes to write a short message to say “no thanks?” With all the six digit income earning, six pack ab posessing guys out there, is there hope for a normal guy like me without resorting to sending off an e-mail to Svetlana from Minsk? Why do women bother placing personals if they aren’t even going to read them, not even going to respond to them?

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**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\
**Post date:** [April 17, 2001, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-and-personal-ads/62323/2 "2001-04-17T22:40:39Z")

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I’ll close this one since the other one already has some witty replies. Which is what you wanted in the first place, right? 😉