# Women and ringing telephones? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 11, 2008, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-and-ringing-telephones/456174 "2008-07-11T19:22:50Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![mangeorge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d78d45/32.png) [@mangeorge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mangeorge)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2008, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-and-ringing-telephones/456174/21 "2008-07-12T01:10:33Z")
[QUOTE=TheLoadedDog] I’m a guy too, and I’m the same as your dad. I think this is only because some fuckers wait and wait and wait on the other end of the line, and there is nothing more jarring than a loud ringing phone going unanswered. You’re certainly not going to get much dinner table chat with that going on. IMHO, it’s less obtrusive to excuse yourself from the table, answer the phone, say, “Sorry. We’re having dinner. I’ll call you back” and return to the table. [/QUOTE] My (land line) message center picks up after two rings. If you want to hear my polite message, call 510-883-1413. I don’t mind. Those close to me know my cell number, but won’t call at certain times unless it’s important. My work cell phone won’t ring unless there’s an emergency at my job. They pay me well for my attention. ---
**Author:** ![MadPansy64](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/dc4da7/32.png) [@MadPansy64](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MadPansy64)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2008, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-and-ringing-telephones/456174/22 "2008-07-12T01:29:33Z")
I’m female, and I don’t answer any phone if I have the slighest excuse to ignore it. That being said, I’ve noticed that my female relatives are very much not like me in that regard. Which may actually explain my deep hatred of ringing telephones, now that I think about it. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![mangeorge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d78d45/32.png) [@mangeorge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mangeorge)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2008, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-and-ringing-telephones/456174/23 "2008-07-12T01:58:05Z")
[QUOTE=mangeorge] My (land line) message center picks up after two rings. If you want to hear my polite message, call 510-883-1413. I don’t mind. Those close to me know my cell number, but won’t call at certain times unless it’s important. My work cell phone won’t ring unless there’s an emergency at my job. They pay me well for my attention. [/QUOTE] Did somebody take me up on my offer? Bashful, huh? Should have said something. I have an ego of steel, and I am hard to insult. I do not have caller ID, and mine is blocked. C’mon. 🙂 mangeorge ---
**Author:** ![bathsheba](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/9e8a1a/32.png) [@bathsheba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bathsheba)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2008, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-and-ringing-telephones/456174/24 "2008-07-12T02:50:09Z")
I worked with some-one with this affliction. The one time when we were on a deadline and it was suggested that phones were turned off/on DND she broke out in a sweat as she went through a list of people whose calls she absolutely had to take (including her sister). Dudes, we’re talking three quarters of an hour here. ---
**Author:** ![kittenblue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ba8739/32.png) [@kittenblue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kittenblue)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2008, 4:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-and-ringing-telephones/456174/25 "2008-07-12T04:07:00Z")
[QUOTE=mangeorge] Did somebody take me up on my offer? Bashful, huh? Should have said something. I have an ego of steel, and I am hard to insult. I do not have caller ID, and mine is blocked. C’mon. 🙂 mangeorge [/QUOTE] You’re right, it’s a very polite message…and it wasn’t me before, honest. I just couldn’t resist after reading your second post. ---
**Author:** ![ThirdCultureKid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbce88/32.png) [@ThirdCultureKid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThirdCultureKid)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2008, 4:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-and-ringing-telephones/456174/26 "2008-07-12T04:45:58Z")
Okay, I’ll bite the bullet. I am that woman. If my phone rings, I’ll jump and try to get to it as soon as possible. If I’m on a date, I’ll just reject the call, but with friends I’ll pick up and tell them to call back. For me, it’s more about the people in my area being inconvenienced/annoyed by the sound of my not-exactly-polyphonic ringtone. Ideally you switch your phone off or to vibrate before answering, but if it’s on, you answer! Just letting it ring creates a distraction for everyone around you. ---
**Author:** ![Dazzling\_White\_Diamonds](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/41988e/32.png) [@Dazzling\_White\_Diamonds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dazzling_White_Diamonds)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2008, 5:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-and-ringing-telephones/456174/27 "2008-07-12T05:19:57Z")
I am not that woman. But then, I don’t get many phone calls and I HATE talking on the phone. I prefer text messages, personally. Even then, though, I don’t text someone while I’m visiting someone else, and absolutely will not do it when I am actively in a work or professional situation. Hell, I even apologize to my husband when my phone rings and I’m going to answer it while we may be out and about. I had a girlfriend that I got to spend less and less time with some time back. We would make special arrangements to have lunch, dinner, what-have-you. And without fail, she would have not one, but several phone calls during the course of our visit, and she would answer every single freaking call she received. Not only that, but instead of asking if she could call back, she would have a full-fledged conversation with them - it was as if I was no longer there. I stopped making plans with her. ---
**Author:** ![Engineer\_Dude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9fc29f/32.png) [@Engineer\_Dude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Engineer_Dude)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2008, 6:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-and-ringing-telephones/456174/28 "2008-07-12T06:08:07Z")
[QUOTE=Don’t fight the hypothetical] I don’t know why but it does drive me crazy. Out of respect I usually turn off my ringer on a date (or not take my phone at all), but every woman I have dated brings their phone, ringer on, and will breaks off any conversation - no matter how intimate - to answer it when it rings. [/QUOTE] If it’s any consolation, I broke up with the woman you describe less than a week ago. ---
**Author:** ![meenie7](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7993a0/32.png) [@meenie7](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/meenie7)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2008, 8:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-and-ringing-telephones/456174/29 "2008-07-12T08:08:01Z")
I used to jump for the phone every time, until I started working in an office where it was my job to answer the phone. Now, when I’m not working, I revel in ignoring the phone whenever someone else is around to answer or I just don’t feel like running for it. I do answer my cell phone almost all the time, because only a few people know the number and so it is a call I want to take 95% of the time. ---
**Author:** ![Vihaga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Vihaga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vihaga)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2008, 11:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-and-ringing-telephones/456174/30 "2008-07-12T11:16:36Z")
I’m a woman, and I look at the number and decide whether to answer it. If I don’t recognize it, off to voice mail, but if it’s part of my immediate family or someone who’s calling for work, I’ll probably take it unless I’m doing something important. If they’re calling unexpectedly, it’s usually a call that can be finished in 15 seconds, and if I’m somewhere that it’ll be a significant interruption, my phone will be off. ---
**Author:** ![bufftabby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/77aa72/32.png) [@bufftabby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bufftabby)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2008, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-and-ringing-telephones/456174/31 "2008-07-12T16:04:08Z")
[QUOTE=Vihaga] I’m a woman, and I look at the number and decide whether to answer it. If I don’t recognize it, off to voice mail, but if it’s part of my immediate family or someone who’s calling for work, I’ll probably take it unless I’m doing something important. If they’re calling unexpectedly, it’s usually a call that can be finished in 15 seconds, and if I’m somewhere that it’ll be a significant interruption, my phone will be off. [/QUOTE] My thoughts exactly, including the girlbits. My phone is either on vibrate or silent, except on the rare occasion when I might be waiting for a truly important phone call (such as a call for a job interview, or updates on a bad situation). ---
**Author:** ![DianaG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2008, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-and-ringing-telephones/456174/32 "2008-07-12T16:21:50Z")
[QUOTE=Gala Matrix Fire] If we accept the premise that women are more likely to answer a ringing phone (which I don’t), I would wager that the reason for it is that about a zillion times more women than men have been professional receptionists and had to answer phones for a living. [/QUOTE] I’m an executive assistant, I do answer phones all day, and as a result, the sound of a ringing phone makes me twitch. I haaaaaaaate the fucking phone. My home phone has the ringer permanently shut off. My cell phone is on vibrate, and the only person on earth whose call I’ll allow to interrupt an in-person interaction is my daughter. My friends and family all communicate with me via email or text. They know better than to call me “just to chat”. One of the things that pushed me over the edge about my ex was that he couldn’t seem to understand that I don’t want to talk on the phone. No honey, _not even to you_. A quick goodnight is fine, but other than that, it can wait until we see each other. ---
**Author:** ![sugar\_and\_spice](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e8c25b/32.png) [@sugar\_and\_spice](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sugar_and_spice)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2008, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-and-ringing-telephones/456174/33 "2008-07-12T16:31:26Z")
[QUOTE=ThirdCultureKid] For me, it’s more about the people in my area being inconvenienced/annoyed by the sound of my not-exactly-polyphonic ringtone. Ideally you switch your phone off or to vibrate before answering, but if it’s on, you answer! Just letting it ring creates a distraction for everyone around you. [/QUOTE] Doesn’t your phone have way to silence a ring-in-progress? As in, the phone start starts to ring (audibly), and so then you press a button and the ring stops on your end but for the person calling it keeps ringing and eventually goes to voicemail. Everyone phone I’ve had in the last … five years? … has had a way to do this, it’s what I do if the phone rings while I’m driving or if I’m in the middle of a conversation with someone. Sometimes I’ll just hit silent, take a few seconds to excuse myself, and I’ll still get the person before they hang up (which I guess isn’t _much_ better than what OP describes but at least the other person can finish their sentence) As I said in a recent cell-phone thread, my opinion as a caller is that I’d rather have the chance to leave you a VM and say everything I need to say then be met with “Hi I can’t talk right now”. Especially now with texting, if I need to communicate ASAP then I can still send a text. But as always, YMMV. ---
**Author:** ![mangeorge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d78d45/32.png) [@mangeorge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mangeorge)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2008, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-and-ringing-telephones/456174/34 "2008-07-12T16:39:05Z")
I know this isn’t a fair example, but; A few years ago I went into a Taco Bell (in Benicia, CA) to get a bite to eat. There was a lone teenage girl working, standing with her back to me. I stood there for a few minutes, really, three or four minutes, and she didn’t turn around. So, I said “excuse me”. Still no acknowlegement so I repeated it a little louder. Now she turned with “that” look on her face and angrilly pointed at her cell phone, which I didn’t know she had, then turned back around and continued with her call. Okay, now my impressive patience has run it’s course, so I yelled toward the back for a manager. Out comes a teenage boy of about the same age. Did I mention that the girl was really cute? He glanced at her, frowned at me, and asked “can I help you?” Grrr. I gave him my order. He went over to the prep area, said “excuse me” to the girl, and fixed my order. He returned to the rear, I left. She was still on the phone. I love young people. ---
**Author:** ![mangeorge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d78d45/32.png) [@mangeorge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mangeorge)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2008, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-and-ringing-telephones/456174/35 "2008-07-12T16:43:05Z")
[QUOTE=sugar and spice] Doesn’t your phone have way to silence a ring-in-progress? As in, the phone start starts to ring (audibly), and so then you press a button and the ring stops on your end but for the person calling it keeps ringing and eventually goes to voicemail. Everyone phone I’ve had in the last … five years? … has had a way to do this, it’s what I do if the phone rings while I’m driving or if I’m in the middle of a conversation with someone. Sometimes I’ll just hit silent, take a few seconds to excuse myself, and I’ll still get the person before they hang up (which I guess isn’t _much_ better than what OP describes but at least the other person can finish their sentence) As I said in a recent cell-phone thread, my opinion as a caller is that I’d rather have the chance to leave you a VM and say everything I need to say then be met with “Hi I can’t talk right now”. Especially now with texting, if I need to communicate ASAP then I can still send a text. But as always, YMMV. [/QUOTE] When I put my phone on “silence”, incoming calls immediately go to voicemail. I like that, and so do most callers. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2008, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-and-ringing-telephones/456174/36 "2008-07-12T16:52:09Z")
I begrudgingly answer at work (yay for caller ID which I just got recently) since it’s part of the job and all, but at home I always screen with the answering machine (no caller ID yet). And my cell phone stays in the compartment in my car, plugged in, in case of emergency. I always forget to even look at it. ---
**Author:** ![Quartz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quartz/32/267_2.png) [@Quartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quartz)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2008, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-and-ringing-telephones/456174/37 "2008-07-12T20:49:03Z")
I believe it’s a training issue: at my first job, we absolutely had to answer the phone within a certain number of rings, and this carried over to the home. Only later did I learn to differentiate between home and work for this. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-and-ringing-telephones/456174.md?page=1)