# Women: Are breasts really an erogenous zone? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 16, 2010, 5:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-are-breasts-really-an-erogenous-zone/543401 "2010-06-16T05:52:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2010, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-are-breasts-really-an-erogenous-zone/543401/61 "2010-06-18T15:57:40Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > It is communicating, but if someone’s not getting your method of communication, perhaps you should try a different one. . :smack: But that’s exactly my point. He gets it. I get it. We’re fine, thanks for asking. What would \*not \*work - for me - would be verbally criticizing or conducting him. That would make me feel awkward and ashamed, and that’s not conducive to good lovemaking. I merely brought up the point that one can communicate quite well using body language and movement. I’d hate women (or men) to think that if they can’t say what they want, they’re resigned to bad sex. If you can’t say, then show! If you can’t show, then say! ---
**Author:** ![StusBlues](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dc4da7/32.png) [@StusBlues](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StusBlues)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2010, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-are-breasts-really-an-erogenous-zone/543401/62 "2010-06-18T16:03:19Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > I agree, but not all communication is verbal, either. I’m quite satisfied, as is my partner, with nonverbal communication in some areas. > > Really, if I take your hand off my breast and put it on my labia, press your finger into my clit and moan, that’s not _communicating_? Indeed it is. Well done. Data point: I’ve been with women who could orgasm from breast stimulation alone, but it’s something of a rarity. Then again, I’ve been with a woman who could have a rather profound orgasm when I stroked the small of her back or the nape of her neck. The possibilities are endless–but don’t expect them from everyone! ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2010, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-are-breasts-really-an-erogenous-zone/543401/63 "2010-06-18T16:10:27Z")
Nipples are my best erogenous zone. I also breastfed for years. Two totally different situations and sensations. After I was all done with breast feeding, I was just as happy with breasts as an erogenous zone as before. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2010, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-are-breasts-really-an-erogenous-zone/543401/64 "2010-06-18T16:13:55Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > :smack: But that’s exactly my point. He gets it. I get it. We’re fine, thanks for asking. Not _your_ guy, jeez. I’m glad you’ve got a situation that’s working out for you. I’m talking about the guy who leaves a gal bruised the next day (ouch), or the guy who says he’s not sure what she wants unless she says something, then the subsequent talk about how it’s awkward to criticize. Not really. You don’t have to say “I am Madame Sex, and I pronounce that your performance is inadequate.” This is just general commentary that it is not necessarily weird to say something, if you say it right. The world would be a better place if people read non-verbal cues correctly all the time, but they unfortunately do not. Fortunately, there is a nice, unawkward way to say just about anything. > [@](#): > > If you can’t say, then show! If you can’t show, then say! Agreed. ---
**Author:** ![carnut](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnut/32/3531_2.png) [@carnut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnut)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2010, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-are-breasts-really-an-erogenous-zone/543401/65 "2010-06-18T16:30:12Z")
I love breast stimulation, especially nipples, and can orgasm on it occasionally. The circumstances have to be right though. Overstimulation is a problem though. My b/f does the radio dial thing in his sleep which prevents me from sleeping. Annoying as hell. Once, he pinched me so hard, I bled. He got a hard kick for that. Now, after about 10 minutes of cuddling, I’m off to sleep on the far side of the bed lest he damage me in his sleep again. He’s a bit offended but I call it self-preservation. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2010, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-are-breasts-really-an-erogenous-zone/543401/66 "2010-06-18T16:32:55Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > Agreed. Actually, I’m going to amend this to include “If he doesn’t get it when you show, then say. If he doesn’t get it when you say, then show.” If he doesn’t get both, then have him killed. Or, at the very least, don’t sleep with him anymore. ---
**Author:** ![DianaG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2010, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-are-breasts-really-an-erogenous-zone/543401/67 "2010-06-18T16:41:20Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > You don’t have to say “I am Madame Sex, and I pronounce that your performance is inadequate.” Well no, I don’t \*have \*to. It’s just fun. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![rhubarbarin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eb9ed0/32.png) [@rhubarbarin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rhubarbarin)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2010, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-are-breasts-really-an-erogenous-zone/543401/68 "2010-06-18T16:44:37Z")
My breasts/nips are super-sensitive, to pressure and pain as well as sexual pleasure. They are also very small. I have a lot of friends who say don’t find nipple stimulation very pleasurable (one compares it to a backrub). Can’t comprehend it, my nipples are the direct line to my genitals (Bermuda Triangle is a good term!). Haven’t breastfed yet, plan to, imagine it will be very painful at first and then alarmingly sexy since I can’t even touch my own nips without getting aroused. ---
**Author:** ![gaffa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e68b1a/32.png) [@gaffa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gaffa)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2010, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-are-breasts-really-an-erogenous-zone/543401/69 "2010-06-18T23:40:21Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > I agree, but not all communication is verbal, either. I’m quite satisfied, as is my partner, with nonverbal communication in some areas. > > Really, if I take your hand off my breast and put it on my labia, press your finger into my clit and moan, that’s not _communicating_? Here’s the thing…that sort of non-verbal communication required interpreting a moan. Was that a moan, or a groan? What is wrong with “Yeah!” or “right there” or, god forbid, “up a bit” or “slightly softer”? That is how I learned. I can’t think of any other area where the one who could teach a skill _and_ benefit from the application of that skill is all shy about saying anything. I guess I was just lucky in meeting a woman who was not all hung up on telling me what she wanted. She benefited, I benefited and my wife of 28 years benefited. There is no reason to be shy with someone who is inside your vagina. It’s generally considered the equivalent of a formal introduction. ---
**Author:** ![Heart\_of\_Dorkness](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/4bbf92/32.png) [@Heart\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heart_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2010, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-are-breasts-really-an-erogenous-zone/543401/70 "2010-06-19T02:17:57Z")
Perhaps I should start another thread, but these comments raise an issue I’ve been thinking a lot about lately: > [@Dangerosa](#): > > By the way, some women like to breastfeed because they get something that is like a little orgasm while doing it. Certainly not everyone. > [@Rushgeekgirl](#): > > OT I couldn’t imaging having an orgasm from breastfeeding. I did it over three years and I never even felt a twinge of excitement other than “OH YAY NOW MAYBE SHE’LL SLEEP!” > [@IvoryTowerDenizen](#): > > Nipples are my best erogenous zone. I also breastfed for years. Two totally different situations and sensations. > [@rhubarbarin](#): > > Haven’t breastfed yet, plan to, imagine it will be very painful at first and then alarmingly sexy since I can’t even touch my own nips without getting aroused. My nips are very, \*very \*sensitive, and while I’ve never had an orgasm from stimulating them alone, I’ve certainly come close. I’m also pregnant, and have been feeling more and more apprehensive about breastfeeding. I’m totally freaked out about feeling _any_ kind of arousal from it, let alone orgasm. If it were someone else asking my advice, I’d say, “Look, it’s perfectly understandable that you might find those sensations arousing. That doesn’t make you a freak or a pedophile. Just do what you’d do if you became aroused at work or in some other non-sexual situation: focus on the matter at hand, and deal with the sexual feelings later, if need be.” And that’s all well and good. But. My father was sexually abusive, and while I have somehow managed to develop a happy, healthy sex life as an adult, I have an \*extremely \*strong visceral reaction to even the suggestion of arousal in a situation when children are involved. If I were to feel anything even remotely sexual or arousing while breastfeeding, I’m pretty sure I’d vomit on the spot. And I wouldn’t be able to attempt it ever again. Not only that, but I probably wouldn’t let my husband touch my nipples during sex anymore, either - I’d feel too guilty that I’d let those sensations prevent me from feeding my baby. As it is, I’m too nervous about this issue to enjoy it now. Just the other day, husband was giving my nipples some attention, and I was really into it, until “breastfeeding” popped into my head. I started crying and dry-heaving. But I feel like I have to at least give breastfeeding a shot, because my guilt will be worse if I don’t even try. To be clear, I \*want \*to breastfeed. Until I made the “hey, won’t that feel like sex?” connection, it was something I was really looking forward to. I know it doesn’t work for everyone, for any number of reasons, and if I can’t, I’ll deal, but I’ll be bummed. If it’s _this_ that keeps me from doing it, though… I’ll be angry, sad, and disgusted with myself. I can’t see it not being a huge deal. So - any thoughts? Advice? Am I worrying over nothing, or is there really any chance that I’ll find it arousing? And if so, how do I handle it? ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2010, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-are-breasts-really-an-erogenous-zone/543401/71 "2010-06-19T02:49:28Z")
> [@Heart\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > So - any thoughts? Advice? Am I worrying over nothing, or is there really any chance that I’ll find it arousing? And if so, how do I handle it? There is a small, small chance that you might. And if you do, like you say, you just focus on the matter at hand and it will probably pass quickly. However, it’s important to realize that that chance is really very small. Nipples change late in pregnancy in during breastfeeding, physically. They become very stretchy and almost “tough”, to withstand the rigors of breastfeeding. These changes are brought about by hormonal changes, and these same hormones cause what’s normally an erogenous zone to become a maternal love zone. Also, babies don’t suck at the nipple like sex partners do. They chomp at it several times until they get a mouthful of milk, and then swallow. Chomp, chomp, chomp, sluuuuurp. So it’s probably not like anything you’ve felt before to associate with “sexy”. Nipple stimulation during breastfeeding, for the vast majority of women, is not an invigorating arousing feeling, but a relaxing, soothing feeling (once you get past the first couple of weeks of YOWCH!, that is.) Now, breastfeeding can feel good. It can make you feel warm (phsycially and metaphorically), and emotionally closer to your baby. But the women who feel sexual arousal or orgasms during breastfeeding are a small minority. So chances are very very good that you won’t have to deal with it at all. If you do, and if you’re disturbed by it, please please please talk to your doctor. Of course no one wants you to feel like a pedophile or hate yourself, and honestly, breastmilk can be obtained other ways. A hospital grade pump and a quality bottle is a perfectly good substitute for breastfeeding for moms who can’t nurse for whatever reason. I absolutely LOVED these [Breastflow](http://www.breastflow.co.uk/products.htm)nipples for my daughter who couldn’t breastfeed. Unlike every other bottle (at least on the market in 2005), they really do force the baby to chomp at the nipple like they do from the breast, which her speech therapist thought aided her mouth development, and which bottles normally don’t. ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2010, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-are-breasts-really-an-erogenous-zone/543401/72 "2010-06-19T03:19:55Z")
RE: Breastfeeding. I have orgasmed from nipple play alone. One touch can set me over the edge! My husband calls it “hard-wiring”- nipple to clitoris. That being said, breastfeeding was a completely different sensation for me. First of all, I nursed immediately after delivering. I was EXHAUSTED, bloody, being stitched up and surrounded by people. Definitely non-sexual. The first few months of having my kids was also exhausting and I was so focused on them that sometimes I felt utterly absorbed by their wants and needs. Also, very nonsexual. Sometimes when my son or daughter would latch on it would feel electric, but would rapidly become the nursing feeling, not sex. I nursed each child until the were over 2, and never had feelings that confused sex with nursing. Best thing I ever did and was wonderful thing for our family. When my husband and I resumed sex, after teh babies were born, breastfeeding had been firmly associated in my head and body with very nonsexual, but wonderful, sensations. So, while I can’t promise how you’ll feel, for me it was wonderful and meaningful, but absolutely nonsexual. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2010, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-are-breasts-really-an-erogenous-zone/543401/73 "2010-06-19T03:57:24Z")
> [@IvoryTowerDenizen](#): > > RE: Breastfeeding. I have orgasmed from nipple play alone. One touch can set me over the edge! My husband calls it “hard-wiring”- nipple to clitoris. > > That being said, breastfeeding was a completely different sensation for me. First of all, I nursed immediately after delivering. I was EXHAUSTED, bloody, being stitched up and surrounded by people. Definitely non-sexual. The first few months of having my kids was also exhausting and I was so focused on them that sometimes I felt utterly absorbed by their wants and needs. Also, very nonsexual. Sometimes when my son or daughter would latch on it would feel electric, but would rapidly become the nursing feeling, not sex. I nursed each child until the were over 2, and never had feelings that confused sex with nursing. Best thing I ever did and was wonderful thing for our family. > > When my husband and I resumed sex, after teh babies were born, breastfeeding had been firmly associated in my head and body with very nonsexual, but wonderful, sensations. > > So, while I can’t promise how you’ll feel, for me it was wonderful and meaningful, but absolutely nonsexual. I have a question: I’ve heard someone else say that that meant they no longer found nipple stimulation of any kind to be sexual. Is that what you are saying? I’m also intrigued because it may be the first time I’ve heard of an arousal reaction being extinguished. It seems like it might be helpful with certain disorders. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2010, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-are-breasts-really-an-erogenous-zone/543401/74 "2010-06-19T04:02:35Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > I have a question: I’ve heard someone else say that that meant they no longer found nipple stimulation of any kind to be sexual. Is that what you are saying? > > I’m also intrigued because it may be the first time I’ve heard of an arousal reaction being extinguished. It seems like it might be helpful with certain disorders. It’s not uncommon for breasts to not have sexual feeling while a woman is breastfeeding (I mean, for the months or years she breastfeeds). After weaning, those hormonal changes I mentioned that change the physical properties of the nipple (stretchiness and hardiness) stop, and the nipple goes back to being an erogenous zone, as well as being less stretchy and hardy. ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2010, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-are-breasts-really-an-erogenous-zone/543401/75 "2010-06-19T04:24:44Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > I have a question: I’ve heard someone else say that that meant they no longer found nipple stimulation of any kind to be sexual. Is that what you are saying? No. Sex was sex and breast feeding was a different beast altogether. Similar actions can have different responses depending on context. While I was nursing and after weaning nipple play was still erotic during sex. ---
**Author:** ![Incubus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c68b51/32.png) [@Incubus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Incubus)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2010, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-are-breasts-really-an-erogenous-zone/543401/76 "2010-06-19T04:34:52Z")
I’ve been fortunate to have partners who, even if they didn’t necessarily get much out of that area, got aroused that I was _focusing_ on it. I like boobs, big and small, and I’ve noticed that all the women I’ve been with enjoyed the level of attention. A big part of it, I guess is mental- something in of itself might not be so great, but when its from someone you’re attracted to, and they’re going crazy on it, it can create this positive association. ---
**Author:** ![SciFiSam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/47e85d/32.png) [@SciFiSam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SciFiSam)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2010, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-are-breasts-really-an-erogenous-zone/543401/77 "2010-06-19T14:10:01Z")
> [@AboutAsWeirdAsYouCanGet](#): > > You’re kidding me! I can, and my girlfriend can too …I remember reading in one of those lesbian sex books that a lot of women feel that there’s a direct connection from their boobs to their clit. > As for the OT, I LOVE having them sucked. Love them love them love them. No, I’m not kidding - I said ‘not many’ women orgasm through breast stimulation alone. That means that some do, but not many; I’m not denying that you and your GF exist any more than you’d deny that there are also some women who don’t get much pleasure out of their boobs being played with. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![alexandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e68b1a/32.png) [@alexandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alexandra)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2010, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-are-breasts-really-an-erogenous-zone/543401/78 "2010-06-19T14:27:00Z")
> [@Incubus](#): > > I’ve been fortunate to have partners who, even if they didn’t necessarily get much out of that area, got aroused that I was _focusing_ on it. I like boobs, big and small, and I’ve noticed that all the women I’ve been with enjoyed the level of attention. both apply to me. It’s definitely a turn on to watch someone doing it. ---
**Author:** ![umop\_ap\_sdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/dbc845/32.png) [@umop\_ap\_sdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/umop_ap_sdn)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2010, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-are-breasts-really-an-erogenous-zone/543401/79 "2010-06-19T18:06:41Z")
Yes, very much so - but it has to be stimulation over the entire breasts; focusing on the nips just isn’t gonna do it. ---
**Author:** ![Khaki\_Campbell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9de053/32.png) [@Khaki\_Campbell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khaki_Campbell)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2010, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-are-breasts-really-an-erogenous-zone/543401/80 "2010-06-19T20:37:33Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > Actually, I’m going to amend this to include “If he doesn’t get it when you show, then say. If he doesn’t get it when you say, then show.” If he doesn’t get both, then have him killed. Then I guess the right reaction for a woman who doesn’t stop sucking my cock well after I’ve cummed is a punch in the jaw ? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-are-breasts-really-an-erogenous-zone/543401.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-are-breasts-really-an-erogenous-zone/543401.md?page=5)