# Women are evil (bare with me here) **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 13, 2001, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-are-evil-bare-with-me-here/93064 "2001-11-13T04:02:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![TheOtherOne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dbc845/32.png) [@TheOtherOne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheOtherOne)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2001, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-are-evil-bare-with-me-here/93064/1 "2001-11-13T04:02:14Z")
Ok, sitting in a bar tonight, the topic of women came up. I gave my usual speil. “The Vaginal Vortex”. It’s almost like a black hole, 'cept it’s pink. You swirl around and around, and eventually, you get sucked in by some unseen force. Unlike a black hole, which (AFAIK) just crushes you down to nothing and leaves it at that, the vortex crushes you down to nearly nothing, and then spits you back out. Not only are you crushed, you are still spinning around, and occasionally your path will be altered by the sucking force of a different vortex (another hole). You don’t even notice the change, all you know is, you are still spinning. Whirling around and around like a shirt in a dryer, just waiting to get crushed and spit back out. So thats my take anyway… Another interesting mathematical\* perspective on women: Time + Money = Happy woman Time = Money, therefore Money + Money = Happy Woman For our intents and purposes, we can assume that money + money equals Money[sup]2[/sup]\*\* So Money[sup]2[/sup]= Happy Woman Since it is commonly known that money is the root of all evil (or square root, even), then we can say: Evil = Happy woman Interesting, no? Did I just spend too much time at the bar with The Most Confusing Girl in the World[sup]TM[/sup]? Am I just abusing this board while it’s still free? Hmmmmmm…MPSIMS at its best, I suppose. [sup]\* not really mathematical at all \*\* like I said, not really mathematical at all. I like to call it “beer math”. ---
**Author:** ![Booker57](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Booker57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Booker57)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2001, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-are-evil-bare-with-me-here/93064/2 "2001-11-13T04:06:21Z")
Ok now that I have my clothing off, whats next? ---
**Author:** ![TheOtherOne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dbc845/32.png) [@TheOtherOne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheOtherOne)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2001, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-are-evil-bare-with-me-here/93064/3 "2001-11-13T04:13:02Z")
Ummm…I dunno, go find a woman? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![whistlepig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/73ab20/32.png) [@whistlepig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whistlepig)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2001, 5:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-are-evil-bare-with-me-here/93064/4 "2001-11-13T05:56:48Z")
Apparently, no one wants to bare/bear with you. ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2001, 6:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-are-evil-bare-with-me-here/93064/5 "2001-11-13T06:23:47Z")
> [@](#): > > For our intents and purposes, we can assume that money + money equals Money[sup]2[/sup] No, no, money + money = 2money. Money[sup]2[/sup] is money _times_ money. ---
**Author:** ![Samui](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/41988e/32.png) [@Samui](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Samui)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2001, 7:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-are-evil-bare-with-me-here/93064/6 "2001-11-13T07:40:13Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by TheOtherOne \* > \*\* > Time + Money = Happy woman > > Time = Money, therefore Money + Money = Happy Woman > > For our intents and purposes, we can assume that money + money equals Money[sup]2[/sup]\*\* > > \*\* Just change your initial statment to Time \* Money = Happy woman. It has pretty much the same meaning and unfuzzies your math a bit. ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2001, 8:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-are-evil-bare-with-me-here/93064/7 "2001-11-13T08:57:14Z")
Well, I still think women look good. And smell good. And they probably taste good, too. ---
**Author:** ![whatmove](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/ecc23a/32.png) [@whatmove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whatmove)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2001, 9:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-are-evil-bare-with-me-here/93064/8 "2001-11-13T09:01:13Z")
so then does **evil = money[sup]4[/sup]** or does **evil = 4money[sup]2[/sup]**? we’ve got to clear this up because usually **money[sup]4[/sup]** is much more than **4money[sup]2[/sup]**, and i’m pretty broke. ---
**Author:** ![Ferggie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e99b99/32.png) [@Ferggie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferggie)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2001, 10:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-are-evil-bare-with-me-here/93064/9 "2001-11-13T10:32:39Z")
Or you could have just asked me. I’d have admitted it. We’re evil. So what are you going to do about it? ---
**Author:** ![beagledave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6de8d8/32.png) [@beagledave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beagledave)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2001, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-are-evil-bare-with-me-here/93064/10 "2001-11-13T13:49:43Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ferggie \* > \*\*Or you could have just asked me. I’d have admitted it. We’re evil. So what are you going to do about it? \*\* Spank you of course. Come over here… 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Ayesha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c0e974/32.png) [@Ayesha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ayesha)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2001, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-are-evil-bare-with-me-here/93064/11 "2001-11-13T14:03:01Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SPOOFE \* > \*\*:snip: And they probably taste good, too. \*\* Oh we do, at least according to the LIONsob. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![TheOtherOne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dbc845/32.png) [@TheOtherOne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheOtherOne)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2001, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-are-evil-bare-with-me-here/93064/12 "2001-11-13T16:34:12Z")
Wow, I barely remember posting that thread. Whoops 🙂 I warned you that the “math” wasn’t really math, and that it probably wouldn’t make sense, but it seems that the conclusion was correct. And now for a spanking. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![GingerOfTheNorth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cdc98d/32.png) [@GingerOfTheNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GingerOfTheNorth)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2001, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-are-evil-bare-with-me-here/93064/13 "2001-11-13T17:41:48Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by TheOtherOne_ > **Women are evil (bare with me here)**\* You say “Women are evil” and then you want me to get naked with you? I don’t think so. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Edwardina](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Edwardina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Edwardina)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2001, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-are-evil-bare-with-me-here/93064/14 "2001-11-13T19:20:51Z")
If your weirdo math were correct, and your formula could be proven, then conversely: Happy Woman = Money x Money (or _lots and lots of money_) Therefore, it would behoove every man to find a woman and make her happy, just for the money! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![tapioca\_tundra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a88e57/32.png) [@tapioca\_tundra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tapioca_tundra)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2001, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-are-evil-bare-with-me-here/93064/15 "2001-11-13T20:58:15Z")
~~The sad part is he’s right… Do away with all money and women all over the world fall limp to the ground like the witch… ---
**Author:** ![seawitch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a587f6/32.png) [@seawitch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/seawitch)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2001, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-are-evil-bare-with-me-here/93064/16 "2001-11-13T21:16:07Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Anticay \* > …fall limp to the ground like the witch… **THUMP** ::gets up and dusts off:: What the hell? ::looks up:: Stupid self-fulfilling prophecies. [sub]grumble mutter curse grumble[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Dogzilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@Dogzilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dogzilla)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2001, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-are-evil-bare-with-me-here/93064/17 "2001-11-13T22:15:39Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Anticay \* > \*\*~~The sad part is he’s right… > > Do away with all money and women all over the world fall > limp to the ground like the witch… \*\* [cartman] screw you guys… [/cartman] This here evil woman pays her own bills and her own entertainment/dining expenses. I’m just looking for a grownup who can pay HIS own bills. Not looking for any handouts, nor do I want someone to take care of me. Stop this evil generalizing right now. ::slaps paddle on palms:: ---
**Author:** ![rfsgrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/90db22/32.png) [@rfsgrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rfsgrl)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2001, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-are-evil-bare-with-me-here/93064/18 "2001-11-13T23:57:23Z")
**[sub] hijacks thread[/sub]** The woman with the \*\* evil penis\*\* thread just had to pop in here… yup I have no doubt women are evil… that is probably why we are a precious commodity. Word of wisdom, I don’t think using the Vagina Vortex as a pick-up line is a good idea ---
**Author:** ![ThisYearsGirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/73ab20/32.png) [@ThisYearsGirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThisYearsGirl)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2001, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-are-evil-bare-with-me-here/93064/19 "2001-11-14T00:45:11Z")
But it’s not money that’s evil; it’s the want of money. So as long as you don’t want women, you should be cool. ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2001, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-are-evil-bare-with-me-here/93064/20 "2001-11-14T00:59:13Z")
> [@](#): > > Stop this evil generalizing right now. Yeah, because all generalizations are false! [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-are-evil-bare-with-me-here/93064.md?page=2)