# Women: Are you embarrassed to eat out alone? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 24, 2012, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-are-you-embarrassed-to-eat-out-alone/619846 "2012-04-24T21:31:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Tastes\_of\_Chocolate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tastes_of_chocolate/32/3232_2.png) [@Tastes\_of\_Chocolate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tastes_of_Chocolate)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2012, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-are-you-embarrassed-to-eat-out-alone/619846/21 "2012-04-24T23:06:04Z")
Embarrassed? No. But other than lunch during the work day, I rarely do it. Not because I worry about what others might be thinking, but because I don’t enjoy it as much as having company. Eating out is at least partially a social thing for me. I can eat at home and read a book for much less money. ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2012, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-are-you-embarrassed-to-eat-out-alone/619846/22 "2012-04-24T23:07:36Z")
While I enjoy eating out with others, I am perfectly happy to do so on my own. If I’m hungry I should eat, right? Although if alone I prefer to have some reading material along with the meal. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2012, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-are-you-embarrassed-to-eat-out-alone/619846/23 "2012-04-24T23:21:41Z")
Nope. I used to feel that way, but then when I was in college, I was volunteering down at the Heinz Center, and sometimes I’d have my lunch break by myself. So I’d end up going to a cafe or a restaurant by myself and it’s really no big deal. I’d just bring a book, or work on some homework. Really, I think sometimes people imagine the looks. It’s usually when I’m out shopping though, or on a break. I prefer to go to restaurants with friends. ---
**Author:** ![ladyfoxfyre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ad7895/32.png) [@ladyfoxfyre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ladyfoxfyre)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2012, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-are-you-embarrassed-to-eat-out-alone/619846/24 "2012-04-24T23:57:25Z")
I travel a lot for my job, so I end up eating alone more than I eat with other people. ---
**Author:** ![Sandra\_Battye](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sandra_battye/32/552_2.png) [@Sandra\_Battye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sandra_Battye)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2012, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-are-you-embarrassed-to-eat-out-alone/619846/25 "2012-04-24T23:58:13Z")
> [@monstro](#): > > I don’t like being recognized. I don’t like waitstaff to remember me enough that they can anticipate my choices. I don’t like when people are “familiar” with me. [snip] But after the third or fourth time of going to the same place all by myself, the weird feeling becomes unpleasant… I’m the same way. I just want to be anonymous. It comes as a huge, unpleasant surprise any time someone recognizes me from my previous visits and knows what I wanted to order before I do. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Woo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7c8e57/32.png) [@Dr.Woo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Woo)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2012, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-are-you-embarrassed-to-eat-out-alone/619846/26 "2012-04-25T00:10:03Z")
No. I travel occasionally on business and I like to explore, so I’m good with eating alone. As others have noted, it’s not unusual to be ignored or rushed, but I get that when I’m with other people also, so who cares. ---
**Author:** ![you\_with\_the\_face](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/ecccb3/32.png) [@you\_with\_the\_face](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/you_with_the_face)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2012, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-are-you-embarrassed-to-eat-out-alone/619846/27 "2012-04-25T00:23:46Z")
I feel a little weird, but I do it fairly often. When I dine out alone, I eat a lot faster and the experience is less pleasurable, so that’s another downside. Didn’t know this was a gender thing, though. It ain’t like I see lots of men eating solo. ---
**Author:** ![Infovore](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/infovore/32/420_2.png) [@Infovore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Infovore)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2012, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-are-you-embarrassed-to-eat-out-alone/619846/28 "2012-04-25T00:33:40Z")
> [@Robot\_Arm](#): > > It does seem a bit exclusionary, doesn’t it. I might use it, too. I’ve been to Germany, and it’s common to put different groups together if the table is big enough. I kinda wish restaurants here did that. Yeesh. I would hate this. Of course it’s fine if it’s voluntary, but I have been known to wait until a smaller table opens up at a casual restaurant (like a pizza place) if I think there’s even a _possibility_ that another group might want to sit down with us. The thought of sitting at the same table with strangers, possibly having to make small talk…ugh. I wouldn’t say I have social anxiety (for example, I have no problem at all sitting at restaurant counters right next to strangers) but the thought of having them across from me at a table…just no. I’d much, much rather eat alone. ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2012, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-are-you-embarrassed-to-eat-out-alone/619846/29 "2012-04-25T01:23:21Z")
This explaines a lot. I once had a bizzar expirience. Went into the restaurant by myself. Told the hostess “Table of one please.” No sooner than I said that some lady puts her hand on my shoulder and says: Her: Are you eating alone? Me: Yes Her: Mind if I join you? I’m by myself too. Me: [i wanted to say no because I hate eating with strangers but instead I said:] Sure! The waiter sits us down. She pulls out a book and doesn’t say a word to me the whole time. (more or less) I walked out of there thinking: WTF? ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2012, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-are-you-embarrassed-to-eat-out-alone/619846/30 "2012-04-25T01:29:20Z")
I’ve heard that this bothers some women, but I eat out alone all the time. I live alone, I like to eat out, so what’s the problem? I generally bring a book to read, although I generally bring a book almost everywhere. I guess I might feel a little embarrassed if the restaurant were crowded and there were people waiting while I was occupying a whole table, but I don’t think that’s ever come up. I am guessing that some women are worried they’ll be hit on by creepy guys if they go out alone, but that hasn’t been a problem for me. ---
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2012, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-are-you-embarrassed-to-eat-out-alone/619846/31 "2012-04-25T01:40:51Z")
The reason it doesn’t bother me and I’m not embarrassed is that \*\*most \*\*strangers who look at you might have some thought or other, but then they will immediately move on to something else and never think about you ever again. Sometimes you feel that there’s a giant spotlight on you in some situations, but there really isn’t. To most people you are barely a blip on their radar screen. People are involved with their own thoughts, their own companions, their own situations and worries, and barely notice anyone else for longer than a fleeting moment. I take great comfort in this realization. ---
**Author:** ![Morgenstern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2012, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-are-you-embarrassed-to-eat-out-alone/619846/32 "2012-04-25T01:45:32Z")
Not a woman, but not all that long ago I traveled quite a bit on business. I always felt awkward eating alone in a restaurant. Most of the time I ordered take out and took it back to the room to eat. ---
**Author:** ![chorpler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chorpler/32/2888_2.png) [@chorpler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chorpler)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2012, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-are-you-embarrassed-to-eat-out-alone/619846/33 "2012-04-25T01:57:37Z")
I have to say, I came in expecting to see a lot more jokes about flexibility and the like. ---
**Author:** ![wheresmymind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/91b2a8/32.png) [@wheresmymind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wheresmymind)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2012, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-are-you-embarrassed-to-eat-out-alone/619846/34 "2012-04-25T02:03:58Z")
I read the article too, and was wondering the same thing. I don’t really _enjoy_ eating out alone, but it’s certainly not embarrassing. It’s just sort of boring to sit there twiddling your thumbs for 20 minutes while waiting for your food. When I started traveling extensively for work I quickly learned to take a book with me, problem solved. I’m a guy though, so I thought maybe there’s some secret shame women feel in that circumstance, like women see lone diners and think “Oh that poor old maid, she couldn’t find a date tonight. I wonder what’s wrong with her.” Whereas I would think “Huh, she must be in town on business” or “She must be hungry.” It seems from this thread that it’s not actually a gender-specific reason. ---
**Author:** ![CrazyCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CrazyCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrazyCatLady)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2012, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-are-you-embarrassed-to-eat-out-alone/619846/35 "2012-04-25T02:40:48Z")
I don’t particularly enjoy going out to eat by myself, but it doesn’t embarrass me. I mean, yes, I have a book to pass the time, but if I’m going to read while I wait/eat, I could do that at home. You know, where it’s cheaper and I can be in my underpants with a kitty on either side of me and dog on each foot. ---
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2012, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-are-you-embarrassed-to-eat-out-alone/619846/36 "2012-04-25T04:03:37Z")
> [@CrazyCatLady](#): > > You know, where it’s cheaper and I can be in my underpants with a kitty on either side of me and dog on each foot. If there were a restaurant like this, I’ll bet it would do a booming business. ---
**Author:** ![Moonlitherial](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4bbf92/32.png) [@Moonlitherial](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moonlitherial)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2012, 4:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-are-you-embarrassed-to-eat-out-alone/619846/37 "2012-04-25T04:18:53Z")
I used to be but traveling for work got me over it. ---
**Author:** ![Yumblie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/76d3ee/32.png) [@Yumblie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yumblie)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2012, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-are-you-embarrassed-to-eat-out-alone/619846/38 "2012-04-25T04:55:54Z")
[Relevant news story](http://www.theonion.com/video/obamas-approval-rating-down-after-photos-surface-o,28010/). ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2012, 5:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-are-you-embarrassed-to-eat-out-alone/619846/39 "2012-04-25T05:04:41Z")
> [@secretsmile36](#): > > Yes and I always feel sorry for people dining alone at fine restaurants. Don’t feel sorry. There’s a few restaurants (on all points of the scale from diner to fine dining) that I enjoy, but my husband doesn’t. So I go to those restaurants alone, with a book, either dead tree or e book. And I enjoy myself immensely. There’s no reason to pity me. Now, I’ll rarely go out to a restaurant during Friday or Saturday night, or Sunday brunch, but that applies whether I’m going alone or with someone else. I don’t like being in a restaurant when the staff is slammed, or even in the weeds. The quality of the service and the food usually suffers. Similarly, my husband was thinking of taking me out for Mother’s Day…I said no, I really don’t want to go out for any meal on that day. If he wants to do something, let’s grill steaks or even burgers and eat at home. And to paraphrase Richard Feynmann’s wife, what do I care what other people think? ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2012, 11:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-are-you-embarrassed-to-eat-out-alone/619846/40 "2012-04-25T11:09:24Z")
> [@CrazyCatLady](#): > > I don’t particularly enjoy going out to eat by myself, but it doesn’t embarrass me. I mean, yes, I have a book to pass the time, but if I’m going to read while I wait/eat, I could do that at home. You know, where it’s cheaper and I can be in my underpants with a kitty on either side of me and dog on each foot. Yeah, that’s my feeling about it. Eating out in restaurants is fun when you’re with other people. But I don’t find it fun or enjoyable when I’m all alone. Unless I have my tablet, it’s awkward to read and eat. The noises are distracting. The waitstaff checking on me every five minutes is distracting. If I am with other people, these things don’t bother me. But it’s different when I’m alone. That’s why you’ll only catch me in a restaurant alone when I’m traveling or when I feel compelled to try a new place and I’m not hip on their take-out policy. I have been hit on before while eating by myself. The guy scooted his table over to talk to me, and I had to make polite chit-chat when I just wasn’t in the mood. This is the only time something like this happened to me, though. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-are-you-embarrassed-to-eat-out-alone/619846.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-are-you-embarrassed-to-eat-out-alone/619846.md?page=3)