# Women aren't sexually attracted to the male body? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 11, 2018, 1:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-arent-sexually-attracted-to-the-male-body/808625 "2018-02-11T13:41:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![gisaaanr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/3d9bf3/32.png) [@gisaaanr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gisaaanr)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2018, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-arent-sexually-attracted-to-the-male-body/808625/21 "2018-02-11T15:21:19Z")
> [@ThelmaLou](#): > > I’ve been to Chippendales shows and have also been to parties where there was a male stripper. The atmosphere is pure circus, wild party, laughing, screaming, and carrying on. It was sexy without being sexual. I’m guessing it’s difficult for a man to understand. Maybe another woman can come along and explain it. > > You’ve raised some very interesting questions! And please remember that I’m only talking about myself and not about women in general. > > And it’s not exactly **attraction for affection** … it’s more like an attraction to be joined to someone, wholly joined in all ways, especially including physical. Affection is the smallest part of it. And I’m (just me–I’d like to hear from other women) not going to feel like being sexual with a man unless some part of me senses the potential for this kind of profound joining on all levels, even in only one or a few encounters. IOW I don’t have to marry the guy, but I won’t even be interested unless it goes–however briefly–beyond the physical. Even though I came of age in the Swinging 60s, I was never one to sleep around. I was always looking for more. And BTW, this isn’t something the man can do anything about-- it’s how I see him and experience him as he is. It’s not a line, or an approach, or some behavior or appearance thing that he can change. It’s chemistry. And it’s a mystery. > > I do notice attractive women, and frankly, I’d rather look at naked women than naked men. But looking at naked women does not sexually arouse me. For years I did therapeutic massage, but working on naked people never aroused me. I worked on some perfect athletic bodies (even a guy who went on to win three gold medals in the Olympics), and I recognized the perfection of their physical selves, but not sexually moved. It’s just the way a man makes you feel, the things he can provide you with mentally, emotionally and materialistically is that you prefer to be in relationship with a man , although if a woman would provide you the same things you would prefer her over a man any day without an eyes blink? **You do notice attractive women, and frankly but look at naked women than naked men. But looking at naked women does not sexually arouse you also nude men do nothing for you.** First tell me what is your sexual orientation if no gender physically attract you visually? If you aren’t sexually attracted to on one’s body the logically you can date any gender any time? Right? You don’t have to tell about other women, I know If I ask the same question to them I will get same answer. ---
**Author:** ![gisaaanr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/3d9bf3/32.png) [@gisaaanr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gisaaanr)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2018, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-arent-sexually-attracted-to-the-male-body/808625/22 "2018-02-11T15:23:31Z")
> [@AHunter3](#): > > **gisaaanr** , what does it mean to be “sexually attracted”? > > 1. There’s a certain sense in which you seem to be using (what you understand to be) men’s way of being sexually attracted to women as the definition of “sexually attracted”, whereas women’s way of being sexually attracted to men (as you understand it), to whatever extent it is different, isn’t “really sexually attracted”. In other words, using the male model as the definitive model. > > 2. Even if you nod with agreement to that observation, that leaves your other thesis, that men’s way of being sexually attracted to women is fundamentally different from women’s way of being sexually attracted to men. How universal do you intend this assertion to be? Do you mean _all_ heterosexual men’s attraction to women follows Pattern A and _all_ hetero women’s attraction to men follows a different pattern, Pattern B? Or do you think of it more like hetero men _have more of a tendency towards_ one pattern than hetero women, _who are more inclined towards_ the other pattern than men are? > > 3. Either way, you haven’t really described the men’s way of being attracted; you’ve spend more descriptive text on how women are attracted to men. You’re sort of treating the men’s way of being attracted as if it’s something we all already know and are in agreement about. read it [Primary vs. secondary sexual attraction model - AVENwiki](http://wiki.asexuality.org/Primary_vs._secondary_sexual_attraction_model) ---
**Author:** ![Renee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/renee/32/287_2.png) [@Renee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Renee)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2018, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-arent-sexually-attracted-to-the-male-body/808625/23 "2018-02-11T15:23:36Z")
Literally every single one of your bullet points is completely false for me. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2018, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-arent-sexually-attracted-to-the-male-body/808625/24 "2018-02-11T15:25:32Z")
> [@AHunter3](#): > > **gisaaanr** , what does it mean to be “sexually attracted”? > > 1. There’s a certain sense in which you seem to be using (what you understand to be) men’s way of being sexually attracted to women as the definition of “sexually attracted”, whereas women’s way of being sexually attracted to men (as you understand it), to whatever extent it is different, isn’t “really sexually attracted”. In other words, using the male model as the definitive model. > > 2. Even if you nod with agreement to that observation, that leaves your other thesis, that men’s way of being sexually attracted to women is fundamentally different from women’s way of being sexually attracted to men. How universal do you intend this assertion to be? Do you mean _all_ heterosexual men’s attraction to women follows Pattern A and _all_ hetero women’s attraction to men follows a different pattern, Pattern B? Or do you think of it more like hetero men _have more of a tendency towards_ one pattern than hetero women, _who are more inclined towards_ the other pattern than men are? > > 3. Either way, you haven’t really described the men’s way of being attracted; you’ve spend more descriptive text on how women are attracted to men. You’re sort of treating the men’s way of being attracted as if it’s something we all already know and are in agreement about. Absolutely agreed on all parts. ---
**Author:** ![gisaaanr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/3d9bf3/32.png) [@gisaaanr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gisaaanr)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2018, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-arent-sexually-attracted-to-the-male-body/808625/25 "2018-02-11T15:27:05Z")
> [@Renee](#): > > Literally every single one of your bullet points is completely false for me. Explain please ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2018, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-arent-sexually-attracted-to-the-male-body/808625/26 "2018-02-11T15:35:38Z")
> [@gisaaanr](#): > > You don’t have to tell about other women, I know If I ask the same question to them I will get same answer. What a great thread. ---
**Author:** ![JackieLikesVariety](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackielikesvariety/32/296_2.png) [@JackieLikesVariety](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JackieLikesVariety)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2018, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-arent-sexually-attracted-to-the-male-body/808625/27 "2018-02-11T15:40:28Z")
> [@gisaaanr](#): > > Explain please Renee is nice and therefore does not suggest perhaps your trousers have ignited. I think SAFETY FIRST and you might consider sitting in a nice pool of water. ---
**Author:** ![Riemann](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/riemann/32/3133_2.png) [@Riemann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Riemann)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2018, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-arent-sexually-attracted-to-the-male-body/808625/28 "2018-02-11T15:43:05Z")
The evolutionary basis for this general tendency in instinctive human behavior is straightforward. Men can increase their reproductive success by spreading their seed widely, including impregnating women with whom they will make no investment in raising the child. Women cannot do this, and a woman will therefore be more picky in seeking out a man who is likely to commit to investing time and effort in raising a child with her. This dynamic predicts that we would expect to see men more interested in casual sex, and that male discrimination among casual sex partners would be based more on markers of purely physical childbearing ability (prime age, physical health). It also predicts that when men are looking for permanent partners with whom they _do_ plan to commit to a long term child-rearing relationship, what they look for in a partner might be more similar to what a woman looks for in a partner. Just let me reemphasize the words _general tendency_ in my first sentence. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2018, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-arent-sexually-attracted-to-the-male-body/808625/29 "2018-02-11T15:46:51Z")
> [@ThelmaLou](#): > > The man has raised some interesting discussion questions. He has said, “this is how it seems to me. Tell me if this is how it seems to you.” Ok, not stated in the most polished way possible but why not DISCUSS instead of dissing him?? What, like posts that are nothing but eyerolls? Wonderful discussion. ---
**Author:** ![gisaaanr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/3d9bf3/32.png) [@gisaaanr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gisaaanr)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2018, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-arent-sexually-attracted-to-the-male-body/808625/30 "2018-02-11T15:52:41Z")
> [@Riemann](#): > > The evolutionary basis for this general tendency in instinctive human behavior is straightforward. Men can increase their reproductive success by spreading their seed widely, including impregnating women with whom they will make no investment in raising the child. Women cannot do this, and a woman will therefore be more picky in seeking out a man who is likely to commit to investing time and effort in raising a child with her. > > This dynamic predicts that we would expect to see men more interested in casual sex, and that male discrimination among casual sex partners would be based more on markers of purely physical childbearing ability (prime age, physical health). It also predicts that when men are looking for permanent partners with whom they _do_ plan to commit to a long term child-rearing relationship, what they look for in a partner might be more similar to what a woman looks for in a partner. > > Just let me reemphasize the words _general tendency_ in my first sentence. That’s why when do women see their opposite sex, same sex, cat, dog, mountain, sunset they don’t feel any difference except acknowledgement? Your EP is totally bullshit, I don’t want to explain because it’s doesn’t make sense. ---
**Author:** ![Riemann](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/riemann/32/3133_2.png) [@Riemann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Riemann)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2018, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-arent-sexually-attracted-to-the-male-body/808625/31 "2018-02-11T15:56:58Z")
> [@gisaaanr](#): > > That’s why when do women see their opposite sex, same sex, cat, dog, mountain, sunset they don’t feel any difference except acknowledgement? > > Your EP is totally bullshit, I don’t want to explain because it’s doesn’t make sense. I have no idea what anything you said here means. I’m one of the few people in this thread who’s not just being rude to you, maybe tone it down a bit? ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2018, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-arent-sexually-attracted-to-the-male-body/808625/32 "2018-02-11T16:03:44Z")
> [@gisaaanr](#): > > That’s why when do women see their opposite sex, same sex, cat, dog, mountain, sunset they don’t feel any difference except acknowledgement? > > Your EP is totally bullshit, I don’t want to explain because it’s doesn’t make sense. Seriously dude, if you really want to have a discussion, and if you’re genuinely asking a question here (and not just making declarations and assumptions), maybe tone it down. ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2018, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-arent-sexually-attracted-to-the-male-body/808625/33 "2018-02-11T16:07:02Z")
> [@GreenWyvern](#): > > I suppose the success and popularity of the Chippendales and many similar male strip shows for the past 40 years must be imaginary. > > :rolleyes: As well as the posts in my facebook feeds of shirtless firefighters holding puppies. Apparently that’s all about the puppies. (The puppies ARE really cute, but, although I’m not usually a fan of oiled and muscular shirtless men, the puppies are not the first thing I notice and my reaction to a shirtless oiled muscular man is sexual) ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2018, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-arent-sexually-attracted-to-the-male-body/808625/34 "2018-02-11T16:31:36Z")
> [@Dangerosa](#): > > As well as the posts in my facebook feeds of shirtless firefighters holding puppies. I gotta read more slowly. At first I thought that said “shirtless firefighters _humping_ puppies.” ---
**Author:** ![Maserschmidt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/maserschmidt/32/18829_2.png) [@Maserschmidt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maserschmidt)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2018, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-arent-sexually-attracted-to-the-male-body/808625/35 "2018-02-11T16:48:21Z")
> [@wonky](#): > > What a great thread. If you want to think of this as a preview, go check out the longer narrative on Reddit. ---
**Author:** ![Wesley\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wesley_clark/32/20581_2.png) [@Wesley\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wesley_Clark)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2018, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-arent-sexually-attracted-to-the-male-body/808625/36 "2018-02-11T17:28:56Z")
Women may not be turned on by men the way men are turned on by women. But I’m pretty sure women appreciate an attractive male body. Tall, broad shoulders, muscular, thin, etc. ---
**Author:** ![Asimovian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asimovian/32/172_2.png) [@Asimovian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asimovian)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2018, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-arent-sexually-attracted-to-the-male-body/808625/37 "2018-02-11T17:29:16Z")
**gisaaanr** , you’ve managed to make quite an introduction for yourself on the board. Unfortunately, the manner in which you’ve been posting so far runs afoul of our “Don’t be a jerk” rule. It’s not clear to me from what you’ve shared thus far if you’re looking for a discussion, a debate, or just an opportunity to rant about your personal views. Based on your open dismissal even of the people who are engaging you seriously and your refusal to acknowledge that there are people in here whose experiences contradict your blanket statements, I’m inclined to think it’s the latter. On the chance that I’m mistaken about your intent, I will allow this to remain in IMHO for now, but I’d strongly encourage you to take a deep breath and engage with the other posters in a less hostile manner. You’re entitled to feel strongly about your views, but you still need to interact civilly with others here. Of course, the admonition to post civilly applies to every poster in this thread, and not just the OP. Thanks, everyone. ---
**Author:** ![Moriarty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/moriarty/32/49_2.png) [@Moriarty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moriarty)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2018, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-arent-sexually-attracted-to-the-male-body/808625/38 "2018-02-11T17:36:58Z")
Dude, I’m a guy, and even I know that women can have a visceral reaction to the male form. (Sometimes in…incredible…ways). ---
**Author:** ![MoonMoon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/moonmoon/32/2959_2.png) [@MoonMoon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MoonMoon)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2018, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-arent-sexually-attracted-to-the-male-body/808625/39 "2018-02-11T17:54:29Z")
I’ll admit I’m having some trouble understanding your posts, since English doesn’t seem to be your first language, but dude, you’re wrong. I’m a woman, and I’m emphatically attracted to the male form, and not the slightest bit attracted to women. I reject the trope that naked women are more aesthetically pleasing than naked men. I _dig_ men. ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2018, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-arent-sexually-attracted-to-the-male-body/808625/40 "2018-02-11T18:12:13Z")
OK, some of the following is strictly my opinion or my personal experience, but I have had experience in being a female human for over 50 years so I like to think my words carry some validity for this discussion. > [@gisaaanr](#): > > 1. Girls can’t be sexually attracted to random men they haven’t met or spoken to. Yes, yes they can. They are less likely to experience this than boys, but it can happen. However, I wish to point out that most of your post was clearly framed from a man’s viewpoint (which, assuming you’re a man, is quite understandable). _Women are not looking for the same things men are_. Which means what men focus on when looking at a, say, a naked woman is NOT what women focus on when viewing a naked man. Please try to assimilate and understand that nugget of knowledge. > [@](#): > > 1. They aren’t physically turned on by men’s bodies except with an erect penis from their BOYFRIEND only. This is because it shows the guy is horny and desires her which results in her feeling turned on. But the initial desire comes from the guy. This is incorrect on several points. First of all, as a heterosexual woman I do have some interest in penis, but it is not my only interest. Your statement demonstrates why 1) men send naked dick pics to women and 2) why men get into trouble for doing so. Men tend to really, really focus on penis. I’m not sure, but maybe it’s because they themselves like to focus on vagina and assume that women will want to focus on the male counterpart. This is an error. As I said, I have some interest in penis and enjoy activities involving them, but they are not the sole focus of sexual attraction for me or millions of other women. Understand that I am capable of orgasming from sexual play (a.k.a. “foreplay” though there’s no reason it can’t be done simultaneously while engaging in intercourse or afterwards as well) that _never goes near my vagina or clitoris_. It’s a lot _easier_ to engage the clitoris, but neither penetration nor manipulation of my crotch are _required_ for me to have my fun. Women’s sexuality is much less focused on just one bodypart. It’s one way we differ significantly from men. Also consider that while a man viewing an aroused, naked woman approaching him is most likely to think “hey, hey - fun times ahead!” a woman viewing a naked man she doesn’t know approaching her with an erect penis is more likely to think “OMG - am I about to be raped?” Such a thought is what is known as a “mood-killer”. The above is why a man thinking that surprise sexting a pick of his naked erect dick to a woman is fun, and a woman tends to view receiving an unsolicited, naked, erect dick pic to be a _threat_. Be very, very, very sure of your relationship and the woman’s sincerity before fulfilling a request for a pic of an erect dick, and only send one if the lady in question has asked for one. > [@](#): > > 1. Most girls are sexually fluid and are able to get off to other girls, lesbian porn and still claim straight because its not the male physicality they’re attracted to but the emotional attachment/context. This notion that all or most women are bisexual has been enormously oversold and I blame porn. If there’s a difference between men and women in this area it’s small, and LOTS of women are in no way bisexual at all. I am tired of explaining to people that I do not in any way find my fellow women to be sexually attractive or interesting. I find lesbian porn boring because women don’t interest me at all. It’s as exciting or arousing to me as discussing the sexual life of, say, apple trees. _Maybe_ interesting the first time I hear about it, from a pure curiosity viewpoint, but afterwards boring. The only people who really seem to get my complete lack of sexual interest in women are the asexuals, who understand NOT being sexually attracted at all. Keep in mind, I am in no way claiming I am a measure for all women - women really do run the spectrum between “only homosexual” and “only heterosexual” with everything in between. Be wary of anything trying to “explain” women by saying “most or all”. Because there’s a lot of variability between us. > [@](#): > > 1. Girls look at guys/girls as partners only eg. Boyfriend/husband material (how well he can provide for her and the child, how well they get along and only after this do they want to sexually explore) where as guys look at girls sexually and after they establish an emotional connection then look at them as girlfriend/ wife material. Untrue. True to _some_ extent, particularly for women looking for long-term relationships, but women having short-term relationships (one night stands, short affairs particularly while cheating during a longer term relationship, etc.) seem to look more for physical attractiveness than “boyfriend/husband” qualities. This can be summed up with the very unscientific observation that while women might be attracted to “dangerous” men, they usually settle down with an office worker or corporate type guy. Or, to put it another way, women might want to have a _fling_ with James Bond, but the guy they \*marry \*is much more likely to be Sidney the Accountant. This might be because, while James has some high quality genes Sidney is the guy who will stick around and actually help raise the kids to adulthood. This pattern - trying to gain some nice genes from the guy passing through the neighborhood while seeking a more stable, long-term provide for the long-term relationship - is seen in many, many species and not just mammals but also birds. So while I can’t prove it to you it’s not unreasonable to suppose something similar at work in our own species. Also keep in mind that while men do gain an evolutionary benefit from flinging genes far and wide, they can also benefit from monogamy - just the reduced stress from having a relatively assured source of sexual fun as well an increased confidence in the paternity of any children they’re helping raise can benefit a man and may be one factor in why married men tend to live longer than single men. Also, fewer fist-fights and gunshot wounds from conflicts over access to women, or from jealous husbands discovering they’ve been cuckolded. So the distinction is really between “is this woman looking for a short-term fling?” or “is this woman looking for a long-term relationship?” > [@](#): > > 1. Men ask women out and pay for dates because men are initially/ already attracted and need to prove to the girl they are husband/ boyfriend material. Where as in order for the girl to begin to feel attraction they must be close be able to see a future together. Two factors here. First, historically, men have had a lot more disposable income than women. This has a lot to do with “man pays for date” Second, if the woman is indeed looking for a long-term relationship then yes, having some assurance the man has a source of resources is, in fact, important and paying for dates (and engagement rings and bride-price and a lot of other stuff) is the way our species displays this. It’s also related to men pouring time and energy into something like sports, because it demonstrates their physical health and fitness. It’s akin to bower birds building a bower (look! I can amass resources!) and birds of paradise doing elaborate dances to attract mates. However, for short term flings and “friends with benefits” situations this is much less required and might even be turned around with a wealthy, powerful woman paying the way (which is how gigolos make their money). Again, are you talking short term fling or long term relationship? Women act differently depending on which they’re looking for. > [@](#): > > Summary: Men are more directly attracted to girls so they ask women out and pursue them and are driven by their large attraction toward women where as women feel nothing until they meet a guy they can see a future with and only then begin to feel attraction. This totally disregards long-standing cultural traditions that condemn women who take the lead as whores and imposes social penalties on them vs. men engaging in courting rituals. There have been instances where I have asked a man out. Oddly enough, men don’t always react positively to that. > [@](#): > > So basically men are attracted to women and how well they get along with them. girls are attracted to personality/ providing potential (of either gender, usually guys) and after feeling close and desired they begin to express sexual interest. I think you might be confusing _feeling_ sexual interest with _expressing_ sexual interest. Expressing sexual interest too soon can carry risks for women and can lead bad situations like rape if she misjudges the man’s character. She’s probably been feeling interest for awhile, but only expresses it when she feels it’s safe to do so. > [@](#): > > \*It is widely said that women feel physical turn on only if they have some sort of connection with the person. Sex is not physical for them it all about mental and psychological. The hell it isn’t physical! That said, even men usually express that having a mental and psychological connection with a partner usually does make the overall experience better. Men and women are not so far apart on this as you think. > [@](#): > > Girls say they don’t feel physical attraction before knowing the person. No, they don’t _express_ that attraction before knowing the person. Plenty of times my woman friends and I have discussed how sexy this or that man is… but we aren’t going to _act_ on that, or _express_ that to the man until we feel safe in doing so. > [@](#): > > If it is stranger and unknown guys whom them never meet before then they won’t experience any physical sparks because hot body doesn’t turn them on. Again, you’re looking at this from the man’s viewpoint. Yes, a hot body _can_ turn a woman on… but just because a woman is sexually attracted to a stranger does not mean she’s going to act, or even express, that to anyone. Also keep in mind that what women are looking for is not always what men assume women are looking for. Men tend to focus on things like boobs or vagina or pretty face. Women tend to look at both the overall package and more subtle things. Let’s take the subject of personal hygiene: This doesn’t mean a man has to be in a suit. It does mean he has to take care of himself. Are his teeth clean or does he have food gunk stuck in them? Does he smell like he’s showered recently? (Men doing physical labor aren’t expected to smell sweat-free, but it should be fresh sweat, not a week old). Are his hands at all clean and somewhat tended or does it look like he hasn’t washed his hands in a month and uses a table-saw to trim his nails? Is his hair greasy or clean? If he has a beard is it clean or can you use it to determine what he had for lunch yesterday? In other words, does it look like he gives a damn how clean he is and/or how he smells? Let’s look at the body: he doesn’t have to have a six pack (although they’re nice) but does he look like he at least occasionally gets up off the couch? Does he wear attire that looks, if not flattering, at least doesn’t accentuate the negative? Does he dress appropriately for the occasion? Let’s look at personality: how does he treat those around him? Is he a dick to everyone? Then why would I want to associate with him no matter how much he is currently flattering me or showering me with gifts? He’s only going to turn on me in the end. Is he kind in general? Is he confident? Does he have a grasp of both his talents and what he’s not good at? Yes - that’s what a women is looking at when she’s thinking long term relationship. “Hot body” comes into that, but it’s far from the only factor she’s looking for. If she’s looking for a fling then “hot body” will be a bigger factor. So… that’s my piece for now. 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