# Women: Can Any of You Not Tell When Someone is Romantically Interested? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 9, 2024, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-can-any-of-you-not-tell-when-someone-is-romantically-interested/1006976 "2024-09-09T00:17:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![thorny\_locust](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thorny_locust/32/431_2.png) [@thorny\_locust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thorny_locust)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2024, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-can-any-of-you-not-tell-when-someone-is-romantically-interested/1006976/21 "2024-09-09T13:57:06Z")
In short: some women are good at this. Some women are bad at this. Some men are good at this. Some men are bad at this. I strongly suspect some nonbinaries are good at this and some are bad at this. Or, even further in short: humans are humans and humans of whatever gender vary, in all sorts of abilities. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2024, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-can-any-of-you-not-tell-when-someone-is-romantically-interested/1006976/22 "2024-09-09T15:16:27Z")
> [@SuntanLotion](#): > > Those who are interested, then let me know. But if you are wrong about this, maybe you _wrong_ about how good you are. Again, it might take an outsider to see what is really going on. ---
**Author:** ![Babale](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/babale/32/15666_2.png) [@Babale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Babale)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2024, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-can-any-of-you-not-tell-when-someone-is-romantically-interested/1006976/23 "2024-09-09T15:28:46Z")
> [@Seanette](#): > > I do remember that, when younger, Hollywood had gotten it drilled into my head that anyone (of either sex or any orientation) who does not meet their beauty standards is a repulsive _thing_, not a human being with feelings or in any way worthy of respect/affection/attraction/love Wow, we must watch _very_ different movies. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2024, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-can-any-of-you-not-tell-when-someone-is-romantically-interested/1006976/24 "2024-09-09T17:07:42Z")
> [@SuntanLotion](#): > > Those who are interested, then let me know. > If I approach someone who isn’t after I felt they aren’t, I soon found out I was right. There must have been cases where you didn’t get confirmation after-the-fact. It still seems possible that your intuition isn’t 100% correct. ---
**Author:** ![SuntanLotion](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/suntanlotion/32/16165_2.png) [@SuntanLotion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuntanLotion)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2024, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-can-any-of-you-not-tell-when-someone-is-romantically-interested/1006976/25 "2024-09-09T17:47:39Z")
Yes. No one is 100%. But if a man doesn’t show interest, I won’t. Pursuing a man turns out badly. ---
**Author:** ![PastTense](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pasttense/32/14550_2.png) [@PastTense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PastTense)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2024, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-can-any-of-you-not-tell-when-someone-is-romantically-interested/1006976/26 "2024-09-09T22:30:06Z")
> [@SuntanLotion](#): > > Pursuing a man turns out badly How about a man pursuing a woman? Does it turn out the same? ---
**Author:** ![SuntanLotion](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/suntanlotion/32/16165_2.png) [@SuntanLotion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuntanLotion)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2024, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-can-any-of-you-not-tell-when-someone-is-romantically-interested/1006976/27 "2024-09-09T23:06:11Z")
If a man doesn’t pursue a woman, he doesn’t want her. Its up to her how it turns out. ---
**Author:** ![chela](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chela/32/21582_2.png) [@chela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chela)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2024, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-can-any-of-you-not-tell-when-someone-is-romantically-interested/1006976/28 "2024-09-09T23:07:40Z")
“ Im broke as hell but id like to buy you dinner” 🦢 I want to be your friend. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2024, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-can-any-of-you-not-tell-when-someone-is-romantically-interested/1006976/29 "2024-09-10T05:03:58Z")
> [@SuntanLotion](#): > > If a man doesn’t pursue a woman, he doesn’t want her. Its up to her how it turns out. The phrase I heard was something like “a man will pursue a woman until she catches him.” That is the traditional course of courtship, but it’s gradually changing. Personally, I’m glad to see the old norms being challenged. Some men may react poorly to being pursued, and some won’t. That’s the chance men have been taking for centuries by making their intentions known. Seems only fair to share the risks equally. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2024, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-can-any-of-you-not-tell-when-someone-is-romantically-interested/1006976/30 "2024-09-10T14:57:37Z")
> [@SuntanLotion](#): > > Pursuing a man turns out badly. > [@SuntanLotion](#): > > If a man doesn’t pursue a woman, he doesn’t want her. Its up to her how it turns out. I am SO glad my wife didn’t have that attitude when she pursued me until I figured it out. ---
**Author:** ![SuntanLotion](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/suntanlotion/32/16165_2.png) [@SuntanLotion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuntanLotion)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2024, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-can-any-of-you-not-tell-when-someone-is-romantically-interested/1006976/31 "2024-09-10T15:35:46Z")
I am happy for you. Mmv. ---
**Author:** ![Eric1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/3bc359/32.png) [@Eric1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eric1)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2024, 10:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-can-any-of-you-not-tell-when-someone-is-romantically-interested/1006976/32 "2024-09-12T10:51:47Z")
I wasn’t direct enough with a woman and she got confused. I’d been at a worksite for two years and it was the last morning of my stay there since I was coaching some other adults elsewhere. The woman had talked with me twice a day for two years because she was the host office’s contact person. (I picked up an equipment room key from her each day). She was my age at forty year, didn’t have an SO and we had good rapport for sure. On the last morning, I gave her a note with my phone number and said I’d like to take her to dinner sometime. She said she was taken aback because I’d waited two years. I could see her point; we still exchange messages but haven’t gone out as a couple. I recounted the situation with my friend from childhood. He reminded me I’m subtle in conversation and it sometimes blows people’s minds. My friend said I’m good but still confuse people sometimes. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-can-any-of-you-not-tell-when-someone-is-romantically-interested/1006976.md?page=1)