# Women, do certain words (female, ma'am, hysterical) bother you? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 17, 2009, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-do-certain-words-female-maam-hysterical-bother-you/517967 "2009-11-17T23:24:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Heart\_of\_Dorkness](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/4bbf92/32.png) [@Heart\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heart_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2009, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-do-certain-words-female-maam-hysterical-bother-you/517967/61 "2009-11-18T20:04:50Z")
> [@Nava](#): > > From [m-w.com](http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/woman): > > Etymology: Middle English, from Old English wīfman, from wīf woman, wife + man human being, man > > So, basically, “wife of a man.” My understanding is that originally, \*both \*males and females had a prefix on “man”, which was just a generic human. Then they evolved differently from there. Basically, what [Wikipedia](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Woman#Etymology) has: > [@](#): > > In Old English the words wer and wyf (also wæpman and wifman) were used to refer to “a man” and “a woman” respectively, and “Man” was gender-neutral. In Middle English man displaced wer as term for “male human”, whilst wifman (which eventually evolved into woman) was retained for “female human”. (“Wif” also evolved into the word “wife”.) So, both “wife” and “woman” come from “wyf/wifman”, but it just meant “female human”. Regardless of the origins, though, at this point, I think both “woman” and “man” are pretty neutral. And I wouldn’t be particularly offended by any of the other words mentioned here, just as themselves, although the mindset of the speaker definitely matters. Something like this: “Joe said he couldn’t make it; he’s got the flu.” “That big pussy!” …wouldn’t bother me at all (although I suppose “baby” would work just as well). But this: “Joe said he couldn’t make it; he’s got the flu.” “Nah, it’s just that his pussy’s hurting. It must be his time of the month.” …would piss me off. Some of them, like “gal” grate on my ear, but if I know the speaker is just searching for the elusive counterpart to “guy”, then fine. And yes, when “female” is used as a noun (when the speaker wouldn’t also say “male”), then that’s usually indicative of creepiness. Bottom line for me, it’s not the words but how they’re used. ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2009, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-do-certain-words-female-maam-hysterical-bother-you/517967/62 "2009-11-18T20:06:26Z")
> [@Nava](#): > > From [m-w.com](http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/woman): > > Etymology: Middle English, from Old English wīfman, from wīf woman, wife + man human being, man > > So, basically, “wife of a man.” No, it’s basically “woman human being”. In Old English “wif” meant both “woman” and “wife”, similar to “Frau” in modern German. In modern English “wife” as a standalone word means a married woman, but “wife” meaning simply “woman” survives in a few compound words like “midwife” and “alewife”. In Old English a male human being would not normally have been refered to as simply a “man”, but either a “wer” or a “waepman/waepnedman” (literally “weapon [using] human being”). “Wer” survives in modern English in the word “werewolf”. (I guess a female werewolf would be a “wifwolf”!) Interestingly, this [Old English Dictionary online](http://home.comcast.net/~modean52/oeme_dictionaries.htm) gives “waepnedwifestre” as meaning “hermaphrodite”. ---
**Author:** ![appleciders](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/85f322/32.png) [@appleciders](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/appleciders)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2009, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-do-certain-words-female-maam-hysterical-bother-you/517967/63 "2009-11-18T20:12:17Z")
> [@Oakminster](#): > > As a general rule, if you’re female and we are not on a first name basis, I’m prolly gonna refer to you as ma’am. I was in court earlier today. The judge is female. If you were to review the transcript, you’ll likely find multiple instances of both lawyers saying something like “Yes, ma’am, Your Honor”. > > It’s a Southern thing. My mother, a Yankee schoolteacher who taught in Richmond, VA for years _hated_ it when her kids used that word. Not admonishing you, of course, just noting the difference in culture. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Fight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/90ced4/32.png) [@Cat\_Fight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Fight)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2009, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-do-certain-words-female-maam-hysterical-bother-you/517967/64 "2009-11-20T20:59:08Z")
You know, ‘hysterical’ is beginning to bother me more and more, especially [on the Dope](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=540344&page=9). I’ve also noticed ‘crying’ is a verb of choice when it comes to threads about assault, sexism, racism, etc. Women don’t accuse. They get hysterical and cry out in the street, perhaps because their panties are perpetually in a knot. ---
**Author:** ![Kyla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/eada6e/32.png) [@Kyla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kyla)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2009, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-do-certain-words-female-maam-hysterical-bother-you/517967/65 "2009-11-20T21:14:46Z")
I hate being called ma’am or madam, both of which I got addressed with a LOT over the summer in India. HATE IT. What’s kind of funny is that Indians refer to women as ma’am in the third person. Like “I talked to ma’am yesterday” or “have you seen ma’am?” In this case it would obviously have to refer to a single woman who’s of much higher respect than anyone else, like your boss or professor. My students in Bulgaria called me “gospozho”, which is the Bulgarian equivalent of “ma’am”. I wasn’t a fan at first, but I got used to it, I guess. They technically should have called me “gospozhitsa”, because I’m unmarried, but “gospozho” is sort of generic for female teachers. What really annoyed me was when random people in my village then called me gospozho because they knew I was a teacher but they didn’t know my name. ---
**Author:** ![kittenblue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ba8739/32.png) [@kittenblue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kittenblue)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2009, 5:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-do-certain-words-female-maam-hysterical-bother-you/517967/66 "2009-11-21T05:41:08Z")
I LOVE being called ma’am! Have since the first time someone called me that! And I’m a Northerner! To me, ma’am implies a married woman (and that implies someone is getting laid), and I can find no fault with someone thinking I was at least able to attract a man once! Even though I am long past the married stage of my life, I still prefer ma’am…it implies a little respect being given me that has nothing to do with age (and what exactly is so bad about getting older?) That being said, I always preferred that my children address adults in the proper way…Mr. & Mrs Lastname…and had a real problem with a family in the neighborhood where the kids called the parents by their first names. But after living down South for a few years, I grew to like being called Miss Kittenblue by the children I was closest to. I was Mrs. Lastname to most children, but those kids that I had closer relations with (my children’s playmates that I also babysat, my best friend’s kids) were allowed a little more familiarity…sort of like being their aunt, but not really. And it was really more a Miz than a Miss…little bit of a drawl makes it sound that much sweeter. We still refer to some old friends, when the kids talk about them, as Miz Vickie and Mr. Steve…it differentiates them from children with the same names, too. Now the C-word that truly bothers me (though the C- and b- words we’ve been talking about are high on my list) is…wait for it…chairperson. I hate that word beyond all reason. If you can’t see clear to call me the chairman, you may call me the chair of the committee…but if you slap a stupid “person” on there, I will let you know my displeasure. Being referred to as a female has always, for me, had that official detachment of the military or the police…way too proper and stiff for normal conversation, or trashy when used by younger men. ---
**Author:** ![devilsknew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/4da419/32.png) [@devilsknew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/devilsknew)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2009, 8:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-do-certain-words-female-maam-hysterical-bother-you/517967/67 "2009-11-21T08:15:51Z")
I had an ex who argued with me in celebration of cunt, I thought it sounded obscene, but she embraced the word and almost held it sacred, she convinced me eventually and I became a revelator of the cunt. Oh, the spiel she would give me about the etymology, ownership, and sacredness of the cunt… the ins and outs. She loved cunt, I loved cunt. I still don’t understand why feminists don’t embrace it like she did, she was the biggest feminist I knew, she just didn’t go about constructing walls around everything. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2009, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-do-certain-words-female-maam-hysterical-bother-you/517967/68 "2009-11-21T16:17:26Z")
> [@Oakminster](#): > > As a general rule, if you’re female and we are not on a first name basis, I’m prolly gonna refer to you as ma’am. I was in court earlier today. The judge is female. If you were to review the transcript, you’ll likely find multiple instances of both lawyers saying something like “Yes, ma’am, Your Honor”. > > It’s a Southern thing. As is common, **Oak** echoes my thoughts on this matter, no doubt due to being from the same region. I’d add that a woman significantly younger than me–say in her 20s–will probably get called _Miss_ rather than ma’am. ---
**Author:** ![you\_with\_the\_face](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/ecccb3/32.png) [@you\_with\_the\_face](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/you_with_the_face)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2009, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-do-certain-words-female-maam-hysterical-bother-you/517967/69 "2009-11-21T20:46:31Z")
> [@Cat\_Fight](#): > > You know, ‘hysterical’ is beginning to bother me more and more, especially [on the Dope](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=540344&page=9). What drives me bonkers about that is that usually the person calling their opponents hysterical is usually the main one acting that way. You know, abusing the caps lock, stringing exclamation and question marks together to emphasize the smallest of points, using enlarged font, and flinging desperate ad hominems around. Still chuckling over the unintended irony of calling someone hysterical in a thread about sexism and then calling them sexist. Like, if you think about it too long, your head explodes. ---
**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2009, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-do-certain-words-female-maam-hysterical-bother-you/517967/70 "2009-11-21T22:19:39Z")
> [@sugar\_and\_spice](#): > > What really pisses me off is when guys use the word “chick” to describe some random woman outside a bar/party context. Ex: “The chick from the dealership called and said my car is ready”, “Is she the chick you took a class with last spring?”, and so on. > > Bitch I don’t mind if the person really was being a bitch. Lady/Ma’am/Miss can be said with a tone but I wouldn’t necessarily assume it’s a sexist thing, they are all correct forms of address. Chick just bothers me because it’s so often used to describe an adult woman who was just going about her day. You didn’t get the memo? “Chick” is the female equivalent of “dude”. Perfectly casual and harmless. ---
**Author:** ![Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hilarity_n.suze/32/6223_2.png) [@Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hilarity_N.Suze)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2009, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-do-certain-words-female-maam-hysterical-bother-you/517967/71 "2009-11-21T23:14:59Z")
Here are the ones that bother me: Chairwoman, chairperson, spokeswoman, spokesperson, womyn. Hello? If we can be a WOman or a HUman we can be a CHAIRman or a SPOKESman. I entreat all my fellow hupersons to adopt this eminently sensible mindset. “Hysterical” only bothers me when it’s misused, i.e. “You should have seen it, it was hysterical.” No. It was _hilarious. YOU_ were hysterical. ---
**Author:** ![Nobody](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/94ad74/32.png) [@Nobody](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nobody)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2009, 8:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-do-certain-words-female-maam-hysterical-bother-you/517967/72 "2009-11-22T08:45:18Z")
> [@Oni no Maggie](#): > > It’s all in context. Any of the above can be insulting, depending on the tone and topic. In general, I love the term “Ma’am” and use it whenever possible. > > One of my personal quirks is that I tend to avoid the word man/men. It has way too many implications, many of which I disagree with. I almost always use “male”, “guy”, “boy” (regardless of age\*) or, if I’m feeling retro, “fella.” Pretty much any other term that indicates that this person is male. > > I like people-who-happen-to-have-penises, but I really hate the concept of “manliness” as it’s expressed in our culture. > > \*unless the person is African-American, in which case I try to only use it if they’re under about 13, for obvious reasons. When I was growing up I was surrounded by this BS kind of thinking and it had a huge impact on me. I tried to avoid things that were traditionally masculine, like watching sporting events or going hunting or whatnot. I’m 36 and it was only a year or two ago that I felt comfortable calling myself a man. I use to use guy, or male, or whatever, but you know what? I’m a man and there’s nothing wrong with it. ---
**Author:** ![elle.anthony](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ec9cab/32.png) [@elle.anthony](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elle.anthony)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2016, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-do-certain-words-female-maam-hysterical-bother-you/517967/73 "2016-07-13T02:55:32Z")
Only word I hate is ma’am and only in certain situations. Its fine on the phone since you are obviously not making an age judgment. If you have a strong southern accent then I assume you call everyone ma’am - although in the right situation I might politely ask. (laugh and say smilingly "oh no I hope my skin isnt looking to ma’am today! and usually they laugh and say they call everyone ma’am) But otherwise I assume it means I look older. If you call everyone ma’am including 14 year olds then not offensive. If you save it thinking you are being polite by letting a woman know she looks over 20/over 30/older than you I can’t see how that could ever be polite. If you do use it in relation to age would you mind letting me know why? Truly curious, not being critical. ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2016, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-do-certain-words-female-maam-hysterical-bother-you/517967/74 "2016-07-13T03:58:07Z")
> [@elle.anthony](#): > > Only word I hate is ma’am and only in certain situations. Its fine on the phone since you are obviously not making an age judgment. If you have a strong southern accent then I assume you call everyone ma’am - although in the right situation I might politely ask. (laugh and say smilingly "oh no I hope my skin isnt looking to ma’am today! and usually they laugh and say they call everyone ma’am) But otherwise I assume it means I look older. If you call everyone ma’am including 14 year olds then not offensive. If you save it thinking you are being polite by letting a woman know she looks over 20/over 30/older than you I can’t see how that could ever be polite. If you do use it in relation to age would you mind letting me know why? Truly curious, not being critical. **Moderator Note** **elle.anthony** , we prefer that old threads not be bumped pointlessly. You have now bumped four threads on the same subject, which I have closed. Do not bump any more threads on this subject. If you have something to say, start a new thread. Colibri Moderator [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-do-certain-words-female-maam-hysterical-bother-you/517967.md?page=3)