# Women: Do you find tall men intimidating? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 26, 2003, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-do-you-find-tall-men-intimidating/171367 "2003-04-26T19:08:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Ender\_Will](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/eb9ed0/32.png) [@Ender\_Will](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ender_Will)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2003, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-do-you-find-tall-men-intimidating/171367/1 "2003-04-26T19:08:23Z")
[This thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=179779) had a few replies from women saying that they like “scrawny” guys, with the implication that they aren’t threatining. Does the same apply to short men? I am 6’7" and weigh about 180 lbs, so I think I qualify in the “scrawny” department, but I notice many people (especially women) are shocked/startled/whatever by my height. This is especially noticeable if I come up behind someone or stand up after someone has only seen me sitting. This happens a lot at parties, and as you may imagine, scaring someone the first time I meet them isn’t exactly the best way to make a good impression. A question to any tall men (or women) reading this: what do you say when someone informs you that “You’re really tall”? Saying “So I hear” or something along those lines kills any conversation immediately. I’ve found that telling them that “The way I see things, everyone else is just really short” is about the only thing that works: it agrees with them and gives a starting point to a conversation. ---
**Author:** ![abderian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9de0a6/32.png) [@abderian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/abderian)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2003, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-do-you-find-tall-men-intimidating/171367/2 "2003-04-26T19:18:48Z")
Ender\_Will: I don’t find tall men intimidating at all. Personally, I find tall men quite attractive. I’m 5’10" myself – rather tallish for a woman – so I really notice when men are tall. Tall men are nice to stand next to. Tall men are delicious to dance with. Tall men are sexy. Just MHO. ---
**Author:** ![ruadh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/d2c977/32.png) [@ruadh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ruadh)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2003, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-do-you-find-tall-men-intimidating/171367/3 "2003-04-26T19:22:17Z")
I’m just under 5’4" - not terribly short, though I’d look so next to you. No, I wouldn’t say “intimidating”. ---
**Author:** ![chula](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a4c791/32.png) [@chula](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chula)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2003, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-do-you-find-tall-men-intimidating/171367/4 "2003-04-26T19:24:41Z")
I’m not sure what your question is. The reactions you’re describing don’t sound like intimidation. Of course people are surprised by your height - you’re probably the tallest person they’ve ever stood next to. You’ve just got to accept that you’re freakishly tall and learn to enjoy it. I mean, startling someone can be a great way to make an impression - at least you’ve got their attention! Think of all the little invisible guys who have to compensate by being obnoxious to get attention. I’m tall for a woman, and guys are always coming up to me a saying, “You’re tall.” Nice pick-up line, idiot. There’s nothing I can say back to that. Usually I just look at him and say, “uh-huh,” like I’m waiting for him to say something else, which usually makes him realize what a dumb line it was. ---
**Author:** ![BadBaby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/71c47a/32.png) [@BadBaby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BadBaby)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2003, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-do-you-find-tall-men-intimidating/171367/5 "2003-04-26T19:31:28Z")
Me personally? Tall guys are only intimidating when they mean to be so. Then again, nearly every guy in my family is quite tall, and since I love all of them, tall guys get extra points right from the beginning with me. I understand that other people don’t see it this way. An ex once frowned while trying to decide whether he wanted a table or booth and the waitress was reduced to tears. And I like your ‘So I hear’ answer. Cute and funny! I’ve also seen guys pretend to look around, over the person’s head, trying to find the source of the comment. That one’s amusing _once_.😉 ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2003, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-do-you-find-tall-men-intimidating/171367/6 "2003-04-26T19:32:38Z")
A lot of depends on how tall the men were the woman grew up with. Oddly I have noticed that some relatively short women have never seemed happier or more relaxed than when surrounded by tall men. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2003, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-do-you-find-tall-men-intimidating/171367/7 "2003-04-26T19:33:36Z")
NO! I _love_ tall men! ---
**Author:** ![XJETGIRLX](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/9fc29f/32.png) [@XJETGIRLX](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/XJETGIRLX)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2003, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-do-you-find-tall-men-intimidating/171367/8 "2003-04-26T19:34:02Z")
Well, I might be an exception, but as an incredibly short woman I actually prefer tall men. Not just average tall, but on the extreme side of tall. I also tend to prefer lanky men, not scrawny but lean and lithe. I’m not really intimidated by tall men, but tall women can be a bit intimidating. And muscularly large people in general can be quite intimidating. ---
**Author:** ![pepperlandgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f17d59/32.png) [@pepperlandgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pepperlandgirl)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2003, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-do-you-find-tall-men-intimidating/171367/9 "2003-04-26T19:36:27Z")
I prefer tall, big men. I feel like I’m bigger than everybody, so it’s nice to be dwarfed by someone. ---
**Author:** ![kelebrian\_hotmail.com](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f04885/32.png) [@kelebrian\_hotmail.com](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kelebrian_hotmail.com)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2003, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-do-you-find-tall-men-intimidating/171367/10 "2003-04-26T19:37:53Z")
No, I don’t find tall men intimidating. And I’m only 4’11", so I have a reason to, perhaps. 😉 Seriously, I prefer tall guys, although I’ve never dated anyone over 6’4". People simply use dumb opening lines, regardless. If you’re short, it’s “Wow, you’re really tiny.” (To which I also reply, uh-huh, or you noticed, or whatever). If you’re blonde or something, it’s “so you’re blonde,” or “do blondes really have more fun,” or something equally perspicacious. And although the “tininess” comments usually drive me nuts, I’ve got to admit that sometimes my opening lines aren’t any more brilliant. I’d probably walk right up to you and say, “Wow! You’re really tall!” without even thinking about it. Once the words were out of my mouth, mental head slap ensues, with a “wow, darlin, way to prove your IQ once again.” But no, tall guys are great. How else could I get anything off a high shelf? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Ruby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/13edae/32.png) [@Ruby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruby)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2003, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-do-you-find-tall-men-intimidating/171367/11 "2003-04-26T19:38:02Z")
Nah. I find tall men a godsend. I’m also 5’10" and love to be around tall men. Hubby is 6’2" and just “fits” 😉 ---
**Author:** ![SouthernSky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@SouthernSky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SouthernSky)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2003, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-do-you-find-tall-men-intimidating/171367/12 "2003-04-26T19:38:17Z")
The circumstances would indicate the level of intimidation - for instance, if you came to my house with some friends, I’d see your height as a bonus. “Here, have a beverage. Now, would you please knock down that cobweb?”. If you decided to bicker with me (not uncommon) and USED your height to invade my personal space which forced me to tilt my head all the way back in order to glare at you, then that may well be viewed as intimidation. If you have been told by women that you are intimidating, you may need to (physically) take one step back when chatting them up, or at least attempt to catch their admiring gaze at a more comfortable angle for them. If you are looking at the top of their head, you are too close. ---
**Author:** ![KarlGrenze](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/dbc845/32.png) [@KarlGrenze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KarlGrenze)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2003, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-do-you-find-tall-men-intimidating/171367/13 "2003-04-26T20:43:49Z")
I’m 5’1". I consider intimidating everyone taller than 5’6". 🙂 The initial intimidation decreases with time if I get along with said person. ---
**Author:** ![Profane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e47774/32.png) [@Profane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Profane)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2003, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-do-you-find-tall-men-intimidating/171367/14 "2003-04-26T22:08:40Z")
I’m very comfortable with tall guys. My father is 6’3" so that probably has something to do with it. Mr Sea is above average (6’1") and the tallest guy I dated was 6’5". ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Goo\_Fee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Doctor\_Goo\_Fee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Goo_Fee)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2003, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-do-you-find-tall-men-intimidating/171367/15 "2003-04-26T22:17:16Z")
Wow. I’m amazed. I NEVER knew that women (short, tall, wide or narrow) actually LIKED tall men. Or even ‘prefer’ them as some women have said here…or find them ‘hot.’ Shocking.:rolleyes: Maybe a better question would be: “Do any women NOT adore tall men?” (Before you ask-- yes, I am a man. No, I am not short.) ---
**Author:** ![Shana](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3bc359/32.png) [@Shana](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shana)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2003, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-do-you-find-tall-men-intimidating/171367/16 "2003-04-26T22:18:45Z")
I’m 5 ft 9 so tall men are just fine with me! My husband is only an inch taller than me so it makes wearing heels a bit difficult…but he’s pretty cute so I think I’ll keep him.😉 ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Goo\_Fee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Doctor\_Goo\_Fee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Goo_Fee)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2003, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-do-you-find-tall-men-intimidating/171367/17 "2003-04-26T22:23:59Z")
Also… > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by chula \* > **- at least you’ve got their attention! Think of all the little invisible guys who have to compensate by being obnoxious to get attention.** That’s insulting in at least two ways. One, you assert that all ‘little’ guys are invisible. Nice. And, two, you assert that because people like you ignore them, they have to be especially obnoxious just to get your attention. Really nice. Of course these assertions get thrown right out the window if the short guy has money or fame or both. Right? ---
**Author:** ![Lobelia\_Overhill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/54ee81/32.png) [@Lobelia\_Overhill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobelia_Overhill)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2003, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-do-you-find-tall-men-intimidating/171367/18 "2003-04-26T22:33:10Z")
I’m 6’2" and don’t/won’t date men who are shorter than 6’ tall, because I feel [what’s a word that means your skin’s crawling?] when around shorter-than-me men … what I’d like to know is do tall men like tall women? All the tall men in the town where I live date/are married to teeny little women ---
**Author:** ![Davebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@Davebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Davebear)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2003, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-do-you-find-tall-men-intimidating/171367/19 "2003-04-26T22:38:52Z")
Just curious. All you women who love “tall men”…how tall is tall? Anything over **KarlGrenze** ’s standard of 5’6"? Anything over 6 feet? 6’2"? 6’4"? 6’6"+? ---
**Author:** ![chula](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a4c791/32.png) [@chula](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chula)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2003, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-do-you-find-tall-men-intimidating/171367/20 "2003-04-26T22:41:06Z")
Lighten up, **Doc**. My statement was addressed to a tall guy who apparently does not feel totally comfortable with the attention his height brings him. I was just trying to tell him to appreciate what he’s got. I _did not_ say that all little guys are invisible, or that all little guys are obnoxious. In my experience, there are _some_ short guys who feel the need to overcompensate for being less conspicuous physically by developing more overbearing personalities (i.e. Napolean complex). If you want to dispute whether that ever occurs, that’s a topic for another thread. This thread is about the problems faced by tall men. Accusing me of being a gold-digger was totally uncalled for. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-do-you-find-tall-men-intimidating/171367.md?page=2)