# Women: do you forebear from using words like "slut" & "tramp" in regards to other women? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 26, 2011, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-do-you-forebear-from-using-words-like-slut-tramp-in-regards-to-other-women/583339 "2011-05-26T19:21:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2011, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-do-you-forebear-from-using-words-like-slut-tramp-in-regards-to-other-women/583339/1 "2011-05-26T19:21:30Z")
This is really a three part question. I’m wondering if y’ou ever address other women in terms critical of their sexuality; if you ever refer to them as such when not talking to them; and, why you choose to act either way. You can wait for a poll if you want. But since I don’t intend to post one, I don’t see why you would. ---
**Author:** ![ladyfoxfyre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ad7895/32.png) [@ladyfoxfyre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ladyfoxfyre)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2011, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-do-you-forebear-from-using-words-like-slut-tramp-in-regards-to-other-women/583339/2 "2011-05-26T19:22:55Z")
I would refer to a woman like that, but not because she has large volumes of sex. To me it would indicate a person who doesn’t value their sexuality, and uses it as a way to get people to like her instead of being self-confident in the frist place and exercising her sexuality consciously. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2011, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-do-you-forebear-from-using-words-like-slut-tramp-in-regards-to-other-women/583339/3 "2011-05-26T19:23:50Z")
Yes to the above. (ladyfoxfire) ETA: I do sometimes use “slut” as a positive word. In a perfect world I think I’d like being a slut. ---
**Author:** ![dangermom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e274bd/32.png) [@dangermom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dangermom)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2011, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-do-you-forebear-from-using-words-like-slut-tramp-in-regards-to-other-women/583339/4 "2011-05-26T19:28:14Z")
I’ve been known to use those words when describing clothing, but I don’t think I’ve ever used them for people. I might think a girl is making some poor choices, but I wouldn’t talk about her like that. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2011, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-do-you-forebear-from-using-words-like-slut-tramp-in-regards-to-other-women/583339/5 "2011-05-26T19:28:29Z")
> [@ladyfoxfyre](#): > > I would refer to a woman like that, but not because she has large volumes of sex. To me it would indicate a person who doesn’t value their sexuality, and uses it as a way to get people to like her instead of being self-confident in the frist place and exercising her sexuality consciously. Do you ever call other women _slut_, _tramp_, et cetera, to their faces? > [@Anaamika](#): > > Yes to the above. (ladyfoxfire) > > ETA: I do sometimes use “slut” as a positive word. In a perfect world I think I’d like being a slut. I know two women, the best of friends, who address one another as _Bitch_ all the time, explaining that it stands for _ **B** __eing **I** n **T** otal **C** ontrol of **H** erself._ Could you imagine using (or accepting) _slut_ as a nickname in a similar way? ---
**Author:** ![ladyfoxfyre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ad7895/32.png) [@ladyfoxfyre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ladyfoxfyre)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2011, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-do-you-forebear-from-using-words-like-slut-tramp-in-regards-to-other-women/583339/6 "2011-05-26T19:34:22Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > Do you ever call other women _slut_, _tramp_, et cetera, to their faces? No, it’s a term of derision, and I can’t imagine a scenario where we might be talking about it face to face. > [@](#): > > I know two women, the best of friends, who address one another as _Bitch_ all the time, explaining that it stands for _ **B** __eing **I** n **T** otal **C** ontrol of **H** erself._ > > Could you imagine using (or accepting) _slut_ as a nickname in a similar way? Honestly, that sounds kind of stupid. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2011, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-do-you-forebear-from-using-words-like-slut-tramp-in-regards-to-other-women/583339/7 "2011-05-26T19:39:56Z")
I hate those words. I’ve also been known to use them to describe other women, but I’m working on it. ---
**Author:** ![gallows\_fodder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8c91f0/32.png) [@gallows\_fodder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gallows_fodder)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2011, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-do-you-forebear-from-using-words-like-slut-tramp-in-regards-to-other-women/583339/8 "2011-05-26T19:41:01Z")
Yes. I try to avoid all gendered insults (including “prick” and the like), and I’m particularly sensitive to things like “slut” and “whore.” If you use those terms in a joking or relatively light-hearted way around me, I probably won’t say anything to you, but it makes me see red when those words are used in an angry (abusive) way. This riles me up just thinking about it. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2011, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-do-you-forebear-from-using-words-like-slut-tramp-in-regards-to-other-women/583339/9 "2011-05-26T19:46:22Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > Do you ever call other women _slut_, _tramp_, et cetera, to their faces? > > I know two women, the best of friends, who address one another as _Bitch_ all the time, explaining that it stands for _ **B** __eing **I** n **T** otal **C** ontrol of **H** erself._ > > Could you imagine using (or accepting) _slut_ as a nickname in a similar way? No and good heavens no. I’m not a fan of nicknames at all to start with. I have once called a woman biyotch, but she and I were friendly and she liked it. I don’t avoid gendered terms, but you know, i don’t really use them in a gendered way, most of the time. Prick, which I rarely use, and is in my lexicon one of the worst things I can call you - if I call you a prick it means you are just a pitiful excuse for a human being and wander through the world deliberately hurting people just because you can - well, men and women can be pricks. Men and women can both be sluts. I rarely, rarely use “cunt”, maybe once every five years, so whenever I use it, it upsets my SO. I tend to use words like “skanky” or “trashy” more often. I feel like those terms are describing the behavior more than the person themselves. So I’d probably use “slutty” and not so much “slut”…but I never use any of the terms to people’s faces! ---
**Author:** ![nicole1912](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/9de0a6/32.png) [@nicole1912](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nicole1912)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2011, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-do-you-forebear-from-using-words-like-slut-tramp-in-regards-to-other-women/583339/10 "2011-05-26T19:46:41Z")
I can’t remember ever having called a woman a tramp, or a slut (at least not seriously - it is possible that I’ve called good friends “slut” in a joking way, but I don’t think that’s what you’re asking about, is it?) I can’t buy into the underlying concept behind the insult, namely that someone having or having had a lot of sex is somehow a shameful thing. I find the idea utterly ridiculous, and I can’t use ridiculous things as serious insults, it just doesn’t work for me. ---
**Author:** ![Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malleus_incus_stapes/32/3293_2.png) [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2011, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-do-you-forebear-from-using-words-like-slut-tramp-in-regards-to-other-women/583339/11 "2011-05-26T19:56:44Z")
I referred to my cat as a slut once or twice. Does that count? ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2011, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-do-you-forebear-from-using-words-like-slut-tramp-in-regards-to-other-women/583339/12 "2011-05-26T19:57:46Z")
> [@ladyfoxfyre](#): > > Honestly, that [women friends calling one another bitch] sounds kind of stupid. I can’t speak for the women in question, of course, but given that women are often called bitches for behaviors which men are praised for, I expect they were orginally trying to make a political/social point by referring to one another thus. They don’t let **me** do it. Well, they might, but I’ve never tried. I like my balls where they are. ---
**Author:** ![Ostrya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/35a633/32.png) [@Ostrya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ostrya)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2011, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-do-you-forebear-from-using-words-like-slut-tramp-in-regards-to-other-women/583339/13 "2011-05-26T20:01:20Z")
> [@Dung\_Beetle](#): > > I hate those words. I’ve also been known to use them to describe other women, but I’m working on it. I used to feel that exact same way. Then I saw [this.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BeuNckmt7h8) Now I am totally love w/The Sluts! ---
**Author:** ![ladyfoxfyre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ad7895/32.png) [@ladyfoxfyre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ladyfoxfyre)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2011, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-do-you-forebear-from-using-words-like-slut-tramp-in-regards-to-other-women/583339/14 "2011-05-26T20:05:56Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > I can’t speak for the women in question, of course, but given that women are often called bitches for behaviors which men are praised for, I expect they were orginally trying to make a political/social point by referring to one another thus. They don’t let **me** do it. > > Well, they might, but I’ve never tried. I like my balls where they are. Yeah, I get the whole double standard of calling a woman a bitch for behaviors that are looked at highly in men, but I think it’s sort of stupid to rebrand the word in some attempt to “take back” the term. You’re not going to change the general usage of the word, the meaning is still and will always be meant to be derogatory. The only way you’re going to change the meaning of the word is to trivialize its usage. If I were in a workplace setting doing something particularly aggressive and someone called me a bitch, I would laugh at them, because the term isn’t insulting coming from someone attempting to use it to defame me. So what if you think I’m a bitch? It won’t change my behavior, it doesn’t make me feel bad, so it would be like calling me “broccoli” or “duvet”. Similarly, the usage of slut or tramp in the past has been used to demean women because of their sexual exploits. However, I see an inherent difference between a woman who is comfortable in her sexuality and sleeps with lots of men, and a person who is a slut or a tramp. The difference to me is in how that person uses sex to define themselves. If it is, “I am a strong woman, I am having sex because it makes me feel good,” great, that woman is not a slut. She’s sexually empowered, knows she has the power to say when and how and yes and no, and it’s an expression of her as a woman. If it is, “I am insecure about myself, and I know it’s easy to sleep with men and that gives me the pseudo self-confidence to think that people like me for who I am,” then yeah, you’re a slut. You’re sleeping with people to cover up inner deficiencies, whether that be due to insecurity, psychological trauma, whatever. But it’s just my perception of the term. ---
**Author:** ![gallows\_fodder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8c91f0/32.png) [@gallows\_fodder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gallows_fodder)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2011, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-do-you-forebear-from-using-words-like-slut-tramp-in-regards-to-other-women/583339/15 "2011-05-26T20:59:08Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > I tend to use words like “skanky” or “trashy” more often. I feel like those terms are describing the behavior more than the person themselves. So I’d probably use “slutty” and not so much “slut”…but I never use any of the terms to people’s faces! Shoot, I had edited that out of my post – I do the same thing. I’ll say, “That dress is kind of trashy looking,” but I won’t say, “…and it makes you look like a slut in it.” I just can’t stand the good girl/slut dichotomy or, maybe more prevalent, the frigid bitch/slut binary with a magical mysterious middle ground that can never be defined wherein a woman has an “acceptable” amount of sex and/or sex partners. So I don’t use language that plays along with that way of thinking. ---
**Author:** ![WOOKINPANUB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wookinpanub/32/132_2.png) [@WOOKINPANUB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WOOKINPANUB)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2011, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-do-you-forebear-from-using-words-like-slut-tramp-in-regards-to-other-women/583339/16 "2011-05-26T21:11:52Z")
I wouldn’t use those terms as insults because frankly it seems lame. It’s like using a physical characteristic or race as a term of derision. If I think you’re being a bitch or a liar or whatever that’s what I’ll call you. No need to bring irrelevant name calling into it. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2011, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-do-you-forebear-from-using-words-like-slut-tramp-in-regards-to-other-women/583339/17 "2011-05-26T21:21:06Z")
> [@WOOKINPANUB](#): > > I wouldn’t use those terms as insults because frankly it seems lame. It’s like using a physical characteristic or race as a term of derision. If I think you’re being a bitch or a liar or whatever that’s what I’ll call you. No need to bring irrelevant name calling into it. How is calling a woman _bitch_ substantially different from calling her _slut_? ---
**Author:** ![ladyfoxfyre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ad7895/32.png) [@ladyfoxfyre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ladyfoxfyre)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2011, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-do-you-forebear-from-using-words-like-slut-tramp-in-regards-to-other-women/583339/18 "2011-05-26T21:26:21Z")
Because being a bitch has to do with your outward manner of treating people, and slut is linked inextricably with your sexuality. ---
**Author:** ![WOOKINPANUB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wookinpanub/32/132_2.png) [@WOOKINPANUB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WOOKINPANUB)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2011, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-do-you-forebear-from-using-words-like-slut-tramp-in-regards-to-other-women/583339/19 "2011-05-26T21:31:14Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > How is calling a woman _bitch_ substantially different from calling her _slut_? Huge difference to me. “Bitch” encompasses a lot of negative actions / attitudes but the point is that they impact me in some way. Slut and the like have a sexual connotation and I’m not apt to notice much less judge or remark on another woman’s sexual habits. ---
**Author:** ![Maggie\_the\_Ocelot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df705f/32.png) [@Maggie\_the\_Ocelot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maggie_the_Ocelot)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2011, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-do-you-forebear-from-using-words-like-slut-tramp-in-regards-to-other-women/583339/20 "2011-05-26T21:39:38Z")
I try really hard to avoid “Bitch”, “Whore”, “Slut”, and other gendered insults. The only exception is the ongoing “Your mom” jokes that I have with my friends, in which we take any opportunity to describe exactly how much of a whore each other’s mother is.\* However, that is done in good spirit and is not intended to be actually insulting to anyone’s actual mother, so I don’t worry about it too much. Actually, upon reflection, even in “your mom” joking, I rarely use those words. \*This is especially fun when I do it with my brother. It is triply fun when he and I are insulting each other’s mother IN FRONT OF OUR MOTHER. She is also amused by it, so it’s all good. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-do-you-forebear-from-using-words-like-slut-tramp-in-regards-to-other-women/583339.md?page=2)