# Women - do you think about boffing random strangers? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 24, 2016, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-do-you-think-about-boffing-random-strangers/758267 "2016-06-24T21:13:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2016, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-do-you-think-about-boffing-random-strangers/758267/61 "2016-06-26T21:51:06Z")
I pretty much thought, as human beings, we all thought like this. It’s what you act on that makes the difference. ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2016, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-do-you-think-about-boffing-random-strangers/758267/62 "2016-06-26T21:54:43Z")
> [@ZPG\_Zealot](#): > > Actually, there are quite a number of matchmaking services out there for a large spectrum of ethnic, religious, and social groups, not to mention internet sites that perform similar functions. If you are truly interested companionship and finding a partner (not just a lay), these are all excellent options. You _know_ the complaints, from males and females alike, about all of those. Everywhere there is a discussion of dating sites, dating clubs, dating services (hey, these go back waaaaaay before the Internet), you know what they all say: Males: The M:F sex ratio is invariably in the neighborhood of 10:1 at best, 30:1 not uncommon. Getting any response from any female, let alone an encouraging response (let alone getting an actual _date_ out of it) happens on the average once every ten thousand years. Females: You should be in 7th heaven, looking for a male, getting deluged with 100 responses a day to pick through! You have your choice! It’s your market! (Pause for uproarious laughter, right?) You get to spend your days sifting through endless piles of crude one-liners and dick pics in the hope of finding one that is at least civil, right? Yeah, yeah, it’s all you females’ fault. You need to learn to appreciate all those dick pics, I guess. ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2016, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-do-you-think-about-boffing-random-strangers/758267/63 "2016-06-26T21:57:21Z")
> [@Leaffan](#): > > I pretty much thought, as human beings, we all thought like this. It’s what you act on that makes the difference. Who you calling a human being? ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2016, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-do-you-think-about-boffing-random-strangers/758267/64 "2016-06-26T21:59:19Z")
The underlying problem with all the dating services, of course, is that they’re _entirely_ impersonal; modern web sites are completely automated, AFAIK. That’s nothing remotely like being introduced by mutual acquaintances! ---
**Author:** ![Helena330](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/helena330/32/531_2.png) [@Helena330](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Helena330)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2016, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-do-you-think-about-boffing-random-strangers/758267/65 "2016-06-26T23:42:53Z")
I can’t keep track of what thread I’m reading without scrolling up to look at the title. **Leaffan** , I thought everyone thought about it, too, and it’s news to me that some people don’t! ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2016, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-do-you-think-about-boffing-random-strangers/758267/66 "2016-06-27T00:59:20Z")
> [@AskNott](#): > > I just looked up “spank bank” at [onelook.com](http://onelook.com) which searches over 1000 dictionaries. Not one of them recognized the phrase. Even the wildly open-minded [UrbanDictionary.com](http://UrbanDictionary.com) has never seen it. > > I now feel a little less unhip about not knowing “spank bank.” By the way, [urbandictionary.com](http://urbandictionary.com) accepts new entries, so **wipetheclock** might want to add to their data bank. I have a few words in there myself, including “twitterary”. Goddamn Millennials, none of them updating these slang dictionaries have seen **10 Things I Hate About You**? Michael: [about Bianca] What’s there is a snotty little princess wearing a strategically planned sundress to make guys like us realize we can never touch her, and guys like, uh, Joey realize they want to. She, my friend, is what we will spend the rest of our lives not having, Put her in your “Spank Bank” and move on. Cameron: No, no, no! You’re wrong about her. I mean, you know, not about the spanking, but the rest, you’re wrong! As for the OP…I can’t recall ever thinking about sleeping with a stranger. Just guys I know. ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2016, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-do-you-think-about-boffing-random-strangers/758267/67 "2016-06-27T01:35:49Z")
> [@Helena330](#): > > I can’t keep track of what thread I’m reading without scrolling up to look at the title. That true, we have three threads running here with substantial overlap in their subject material, and lots of cross-talk among these threads. Hard to keep track of which posts should go into which thread. ---
**Author:** ![Melbourne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5e925/32.png) [@Melbourne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Melbourne)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2016, 8:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-do-you-think-about-boffing-random-strangers/758267/68 "2016-06-27T08:15:02Z")
I’m wondering if -anybody- ever “thinks” about boffing random strangers. As a young guy, I would have visceral reaction to strangers sometimes, but there was never any “thought” involved. And I would “think” about strangers sometimes, but that was in a more general romantic context. It’s actually difficult for me to imagine “thinking” about sex. Sexual attraction never left much room for thinking here. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2016, 10:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-do-you-think-about-boffing-random-strangers/758267/69 "2016-06-27T10:32:23Z")
> [@Helena330](#): > > I can’t keep track of what thread I’m reading without scrolling up to look at the title. > > **Leaffan** , I thought everyone thought about it, too, and it’s news to me that some people don’t! [stereotyping we didn’t take seriously]Back when I was in college living in an all-female dorm, there was some slow news day where the newscasters talked about a statistic saying that guys our age thought about sex 6 or 7 times a day (no data given for girls). After much tongue-in-cheek bandying, we decided that they probably thought about sex about as often as we did, but they had to stop for bio breaks and we did not, so we only thought about sex once a day. “It sounds like we’re such pure and chaste flowers, said like that!”[/stereotyping] ---
**Author:** ![Urbanredneck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ea5d25/32.png) [@Urbanredneck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Urbanredneck)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2016, 11:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-do-you-think-about-boffing-random-strangers/758267/70 "2016-06-27T11:44:44Z")
You know that would be cool if say several married couples would get together and share notes about the single people they know and maybe match up a few. ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2016, 12:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-do-you-think-about-boffing-random-strangers/758267/71 "2016-06-27T12:54:21Z")
> [@Sattua](#): > > I don’t think about sleeping with them, no. My reaction is mostly "look at \*that \*… " followed by looking at it as long as I can without being rude. I’m male but this is me. When I see an attractive woman I don’t think about having sex with them in any blunt sense. I just get a completely elusive overall broadly pleasurable feeling from looking at them. ---
**Author:** ![ZPG\_Zealot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e47c2d/32.png) [@ZPG\_Zealot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZPG_Zealot)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2016, 1:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-do-you-think-about-boffing-random-strangers/758267/72 "2016-06-27T13:14:03Z")
> [@Senegoid](#): > > You _know_ the complaints, from males and females alike, about all of those. Everywhere there is a discussion of dating sites, dating clubs, dating services (hey, these go back waaaaaay before the Internet), you know what they all say: > > Males: The M:F sex ratio is invariably in the neighborhood of 10:1 at best, 30:1 not uncommon. Getting any response from any female, let alone an encouraging response (let alone getting an actual _date_ out of it) happens on the average once every ten thousand years. > > Females: You should be in 7th heaven, looking for a male, getting deluged with 100 responses a day to pick through! You have your choice! It’s your market! (Pause for uproarious laughter, right?) You get to spend your days sifting through endless piles of crude one-liners and dick pics in the hope of finding one that is at least civil, right? Yeah, yeah, it’s all you females’ fault. You need to learn to appreciate all those dick pics, I guess. There is always the option of simply being polite and respectful of women. It actually works. I know an amazing number of couples that met that way. But you actually have to be polite and respectful. Hint. “Good morning, Miss,” is polite. “Hey, Baby,” isn’t. ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2016, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-do-you-think-about-boffing-random-strangers/758267/73 "2016-06-27T13:30:06Z")
I know lots of people, both male and female, who have found compatible dates on dating websites. Even a few who have married people they met on dating websites. I’m sure they have their problems, but they seem somewhat effective. ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2016, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-do-you-think-about-boffing-random-strangers/758267/74 "2016-06-27T13:36:34Z")
> [@carlotta](#): > > Yes, but I don’t experience it so much as “wonder what it would be like to have sex with him” as just suddenly feeling all sexual. There’s never a feeling of “let’s you and me go somewhere now!” just more like “look what lovely lovely sexy men there are in the world, sex is nice!” > > The frequency of this response goes up about 1000% when I am ovulating. In fact it is the number one sign that I am ovulating. When I start turning my head in traffic to look at men and going around with a goofy smile all the time I note the symptom and record it along with all my other cyclical events. Also at ovulation the attractiveness threshold needed to provoke this response goes way down. Pretty much this. When I am ovulating, I often notice a man and think “he’s hot!”, but I don’t think “I want to boff him.” I don’t think I’ve ever imagined sex with a guy I don’t know pretty well. I almost never think “he’s hot” except when I am ovulating. I am confused by all the paraphernalia some women use to guess when they are ovulating, because to me, it’s been pretty obvious for most of my fertile years. ---
**Author:** ![DaphneBlack](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/daphneblack/32/5389_2.png) [@DaphneBlack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DaphneBlack)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2016, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-do-you-think-about-boffing-random-strangers/758267/75 "2016-06-27T14:51:46Z")
I enjoy looking at attractive people for the aesthetic pleasure, but I don’t think about “boffing” them. As an aside, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with people of any gender having such thoughts/feelings. Thoughts are one thing, actions another. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2016, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-do-you-think-about-boffing-random-strangers/758267/76 "2016-06-27T15:12:33Z")
Ignoring all the side hijacks: Sometimes, yes. It depends. I can see a very handsome man and admire him and not really feel anything between my legs. Some things get my motor running…muscular arms (not overly muscular, I hate the bodybuilding look). Seeing a man’s strong hands sometimes puts thoughts into my head, especially if they have long fingers. Yes, I am thinking what you think I am thinking. But if you really want me to fantasize about you in bed, get me to laugh. I started dating my husband because he was goddamn funny, so funny I almost choked to death laughing more than once. I fantasize about some (SOME!) of my favorite stand up comics. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2016, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-do-you-think-about-boffing-random-strangers/758267/77 "2016-06-27T15:29:45Z")
When I see an attractive man, I pause to admire him, then I wonder what kind of car he could buy me. 😃 Seriously, no, I’ve never thought about getting nekkid and sweaty with a random stranger. Or random men I know, for that matter. Even before I was married, I preferred being with someone who could carry on a conversation and make me laugh. Sex was never the primary motivator for me. ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2016, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-do-you-think-about-boffing-random-strangers/758267/78 "2016-06-27T15:53:20Z")
> [@Senegoid](#): > > a phenomenon I just recently dubbed “EWM” (Existing While Male). ? Just like homelessness and the beating of puppies, the struggle is real people. Please donate to your local chapter of EWM. Check to see if this is a tax write-off in your local. ---
**Author:** ![BeeGee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b5a626/32.png) [@BeeGee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BeeGee)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2016, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-do-you-think-about-boffing-random-strangers/758267/79 "2016-06-27T18:05:51Z")
Yes. Sometimes the visual just pops into my head, The tough part is not blushing. ---
**Author:** ![spamforbrains](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e274bd/32.png) [@spamforbrains](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/spamforbrains)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2016, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-do-you-think-about-boffing-random-strangers/758267/80 "2016-06-27T21:06:06Z")
> [@](#): > > You know that would be cool if say several married couples would get together and share notes about the single people they know and maybe match up a few. Why? Many/most single people enjoy being single. Plus, you are aware that many people DO this, right? You know how annoying it is to be a happy single and have people constantly trying to “set you up” with someone? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-do-you-think-about-boffing-random-strangers/758267.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-do-you-think-about-boffing-random-strangers/758267.md?page=5)