# Women don't get it, and every guy does

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-dont-get-it-and-every-guy-does/515484>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [October 28, 2009, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-dont-get-it-and-every-guy-does/515484 "2009-10-28T18:06:04Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 12\
**Page:** 6

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**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\
**Post date:** [October 30, 2009, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-dont-get-it-and-every-guy-does/515484/101 "2009-10-30T19:09:58Z")

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> [@tacoloco](#):
>
> I though this thread was going to be about fart jokes and dick jokes.
> 
> I’m leaving disappointed.

That ZOMBIE fart jokes and NINJA dick jokes.

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**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\
**Post date:** [October 30, 2009, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-dont-get-it-and-every-guy-does/515484/102 "2009-10-30T19:13:31Z")

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> [@Malthus](#):
>
> “Noel, Noel, Noel, Noel–  
> The Ninjas have come to raise a little Hell”

That works better. Let’s use it–and thanks!

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**Author:** ![gang\_green](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f07891/32.png) [@gang\_green](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gang_green)\
**Post date:** [October 30, 2009, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-dont-get-it-and-every-guy-does/515484/103 "2009-10-30T19:43:45Z")

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> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#):
>
> Heretic! Where are the boobies?

Well, I saw a mockup of a card some years ago with some boobies in it. It was a photo of a Madonna lookalike, dressed in heavy satin and lace, draped strategically, exposing the shoulders and upper chest. She was holding a naked baby in one arm.

The caption was, “Whaddaya mean, who’s the father?”

I always wished it would have been real. I would have bought a gross of them.

One real card I recall: Jesus standing by an open door. Two old ladies in foreground. “Jesus Christ, shut the door! Where were you born, in a barn?”

And being female, I must admit to preferring pirates. Ninjas are okay, but the look is a bit monotonous. Planes, dinosaurs, bleh. Dragons and Robin Hood and HORSES! Girls love horses! Oh, and swords, too, I guess.

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**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\
**Post date:** [October 30, 2009, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-dont-get-it-and-every-guy-does/515484/104 "2009-10-30T19:54:08Z")

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> [@gang\_green](#):
>
> And being female, I must admit to preferring pirates.

I thought of a great Halloween costume for a woman an hour or two ago. Someone, please steal my ideal.

Dress as a really sexy pirate. Call yourself pirate booty.

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**Author:** ![yastobaal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/258eb7/32.png) [@yastobaal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yastobaal)\
**Post date:** [November 1, 2009, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-dont-get-it-and-every-guy-does/515484/105 "2009-11-01T18:11:03Z")

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I love the idea of all this on a Christmas card. I suppose part of the reason for most of this can be summed up by [someone else.](http://survivingtheworld.net/Lesson38.html)

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**Author:** ![mnemosyne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c4cdca/32.png) [@mnemosyne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mnemosyne)\
**Post date:** [November 1, 2009, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-dont-get-it-and-every-guy-does/515484/106 "2009-11-01T19:17:45Z")

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Years ago, while testing out a new set of coloured Sharpies (you gotta test them all, right?) I drew two pictures, to illustrate a conversation I’d been having with my husband earlier in the day.

Picture 1: Girl Picture  
A horse, which later became a unicorn, a kitten, a puppy, a rainbow, a couple of flowers, a princess and a prince all featured in the image.

Picture 2: Boy Picture  
A dinosaur, a plane, on fire (unfortunately not an F-14, but a commercial airliner), a ninja, some guns, blood, a mushroom cloud and I think I might have tossed in a ship or pirate or something else.

I wish I had kept them - I’d put them together now and make Christmas cards for everyone!

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**Author:** ![ExTank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/35a633/32.png) [@ExTank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ExTank)\
**Post date:** [November 1, 2009, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-dont-get-it-and-every-guy-does/515484/107 "2009-11-01T20:20:43Z")

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> [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](#):
>
> Fighter planes, attack helicopters, and space ships would also be acceptable.

I think these items reveal a young lad’s incipient geekitude.

Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

> [@pbbth](#):
>
> I’m getting married soon and I tried to sell my fiance on getting married on a pirate ship but he won’t go for it. He wants to have a classy, elegant wedding.:rolleyes:😃

I think this clearly inicates that you and your chosen lifemate are incompatible.

I, however, think both of these ideas are awesome. Instead of throwing your bouquet to the bridesmaids, you could shoot it at them out of a deck cannon, or launch it from a spear gun.

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**Author:** ![Kaio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/c68b51/32.png) [@Kaio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kaio)\
**Post date:** [November 1, 2009, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-dont-get-it-and-every-guy-does/515484/108 "2009-11-01T20:54:56Z")

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> [@Anne\_Neville](#):
>
> Now if I get any of those tasteful and serene family picture cards, I’m going to imagine them all farting. Wow, those cards might be almost tolerable this year. Thanks, **MIS**!

Sig line! May I?

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**Author:** ![vivalostwages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d07c76/32.png) [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)\
**Post date:** [November 1, 2009, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-dont-get-it-and-every-guy-does/515484/109 "2009-11-01T21:09:36Z")

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> [@RTFirefly](#):
>
> What’s with that? Why does he keep on trying to shoehorn his way into this holiday?
> 
> Dear Jesus: _You’re so vain, you probably think this holiday’s about you…_
> 
> 😛

Yeah…one of my neighbors put out a nativity scene featuring little Jesus, Joseph, Mary, and Santa. 'Cuz it’s not right to leave anyone out.

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**Author:** ![Declan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecae2f/32.png) [@Declan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Declan)\
**Post date:** [November 1, 2009, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-dont-get-it-and-every-guy-does/515484/110 "2009-11-01T22:32:57Z")

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K dont forget about the Nuke of Bethlehem.

Declan

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**Author:** ![WolfpackJeep](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpackjeep/32/2921_2.png) [@WolfpackJeep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WolfpackJeep)\
**Post date:** [November 1, 2009, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-dont-get-it-and-every-guy-does/515484/111 "2009-11-01T23:40:35Z")

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> [@norinew](#):
>
> Excellent! You have a barefoot, bleeding, muscle-shirt-wearing John on the outside. The inside says:  
> Now I have a machine gun.  
> Ho.  
> Ho.  
> Ho.
> 
> 😃

_Awesome._

Also, how can you have a picture of a ninja on a card? Ninjas can’t be seen.

**vivalostwages** , when I was a child I got a book/tape/statuette set featuring Santa kneeling in prayer before the Baby Jesus…apparently that idea has been around for awhile.

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**Author:** ![drachillix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/48db29/32.png) [@drachillix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drachillix)\
**Post date:** [November 1, 2009, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-dont-get-it-and-every-guy-does/515484/112 "2009-11-01T23:50:24Z")

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> [@pbbth](#):
>
> I’m getting married soon and I tried to sell my fiance on getting married on a pirate ship but he won’t go for it. He wants to have a classy, elegant wedding.:rolleyes:😃

Ditch him, I will marry you JUST to get married on a pirate ship.

Will there be cannon firing 😃

Will the reception consist of boarding some yacht full of ingrateful yuppy larvae to steal their liquor and [del]women[/del] cake.

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