# Women: hot and lousy in bed or ugly and great in bed? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 14, 2008, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-hot-and-lousy-in-bed-or-ugly-and-great-in-bed/437622 "2008-02-14T17:49:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Telperien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Telperien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperien)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2008, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-hot-and-lousy-in-bed-or-ugly-and-great-in-bed/437622/21 "2008-02-18T15:31:24Z")
[QUOTE=A Priori Tea] I pick D - I’ll let the hot guy ride me while the ugly guy rides him. That way I get enthusiasm by proxy _and_ the hot guy to look at _and_ the hot sweaty mansex. Woohoo! (why yes, I am a complete unredeemable pig. why do you ask?) [/QUOTE] Oink right alongside me, dear. ---
**Author:** ![Long\_Time\_First\_Time](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ad7895/32.png) [@Long\_Time\_First\_Time](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Long_Time_First_Time)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2008, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-hot-and-lousy-in-bed-or-ugly-and-great-in-bed/437622/22 "2008-02-18T17:15:20Z")
There’s a saying in basketball, “You can’t coach height.” Good in bed you can teach. Hunky, not so much. ---
**Author:** ![chowder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/977dab/32.png) [@chowder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chowder)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2008, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-hot-and-lousy-in-bed-or-ugly-and-great-in-bed/437622/23 "2008-02-18T17:36:21Z")
[QUOTE=kittenblue] I need a man with a personality and skills. Vapid pretty boys won’t cut it. [/QUOTE] ::Waves both hands frantically:: I’ve got both and I’m as ugly as a slaters nailbag. please choose me, I’ll be ever so grateful ---
**Author:** ![Stoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stoid/32/272_2.png) [@Stoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoid)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2008, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-hot-and-lousy-in-bed-or-ugly-and-great-in-bed/437622/24 "2008-02-18T18:21:35Z")
ugly guy every time ---
**Author:** ![DianaG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2008, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-hot-and-lousy-in-bed-or-ugly-and-great-in-bed/437622/25 "2008-02-18T18:22:09Z")
[QUOTE=carlotta] whichever one I was in love with who was in love with me and was in a committed, exclusive relationship with me. As long as that is in place I can work with not so great in bed or not so great to look at. [/QUOTE] But… how did you get there without choosing first? 😕 ---
**Author:** ![carlotta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/898d66/32.png) [@carlotta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carlotta)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2008, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-hot-and-lousy-in-bed-or-ugly-and-great-in-bed/437622/26 "2008-02-18T20:06:50Z")
by allowing each of them to woo me and then picking the one I liked best, then pursuing a courtship, then falling in love. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2008, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-hot-and-lousy-in-bed-or-ugly-and-great-in-bed/437622/27 "2008-02-18T20:40:24Z")
[QUOTE=DianaG] Yeah, I must admit my reaction is the same as it was to the original thread, which is “That is a silly question. I don’t \*have \* to have sex with anyone, and why would I choose either of those people?” Of course in reality, if confronted with these two men and in the mood for some lovin’, since there’s no way to know how good someone will be in bed without having sex with them, the ugly guy isn’t getting a shot. Which means I’d probably wind up with the good looking guy, for about ten minutes, and then think “The hell, I can have better sex than this by myself” and go home. [/QUOTE] [Studies say you should skip 007 and go for Q, if you want to be happy.](http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/23128715/) > [@](#): > > The best “catches” in dating land may be the worst choices in the long-run, new research shows. > > Popular people who monitor themselves carefully in social situations and thereby appear to be the most socially appropriate are often highly sought after as romantic partners, a study finds, but these people show less satisfaction and commitment in relationships than socially-awkward people. So if he can’t dance, but knows how to hook up your stereo system, he’s the one you want. ---
**Author:** ![DianaG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2008, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-hot-and-lousy-in-bed-or-ugly-and-great-in-bed/437622/28 "2008-02-18T20:56:56Z")
C’mon folks… sing along!!! _If you want to be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife…_ ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2008, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-hot-and-lousy-in-bed-or-ugly-and-great-in-bed/437622/29 "2008-02-18T21:07:21Z")
[QUOTE=chowder] ::Waves both hands frantically:: I’ve got both and I’m as ugly as a slaters nailbag. please choose me, I’ll be ever so grateful [/QUOTE] Oh shit, that made me laugh! A little part of my heart is now yours. I’m afraid sex is still out of the question. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Anastasaeon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/73ab20/32.png) [@Anastasaeon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anastasaeon)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2008, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-hot-and-lousy-in-bed-or-ugly-and-great-in-bed/437622/30 "2008-02-19T02:28:14Z")
[QUOTE=DianaG] C’mon folks… sing along!!! _If you want to be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife…_ [/QUOTE] Between this thread and the other one, I’m glad I’m not the only one who had this song in mind. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![chowder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/977dab/32.png) [@chowder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chowder)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2008, 8:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-hot-and-lousy-in-bed-or-ugly-and-great-in-bed/437622/31 "2008-02-19T08:27:43Z")
[QUOTE=Dung Beetle] Oh shit, that made me laugh! A little part of my heart is now yours. I’m afraid sex is still out of the question. 😃 [/QUOTE] The story of my life, ugly _and_ rejected, bugger it 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Achren](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/898d66/32.png) [@Achren](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Achren)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2008, 8:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-hot-and-lousy-in-bed-or-ugly-and-great-in-bed/437622/32 "2008-02-19T08:50:21Z")
[QUOTE=Tuckerfan] So if he can’t dance, but knows how to hook up your stereo system, he’s the one you want. [/QUOTE] Even better if he’s comfortable letting me hook up the stereo system! Gagets are so fun. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2008, 10:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-hot-and-lousy-in-bed-or-ugly-and-great-in-bed/437622/33 "2008-02-19T10:46:19Z")
[QUOTE=Long Time First Time] There’s a saying in basketball, “You can’t coach height.” Good in bed you can teach. Hunky, not so much. [/QUOTE] (Underline mine). Only if they’re willing to learn. For me, the first indicator that someone will suck in bed and continue to do so (and not in a good way) is when they’re not able to read such subtle signs as me saying, and maybe repeating once or twice, “uh, honey, please don’t. Bite.” If they can read signs (even if the sign needs to be painted on the headboard on red, flashing neon), then they don’t suck in bed; if they don’t give a shit about your opinion, then they _will_ suck in bed - for ever and ever, amen. ---
**Author:** ![Hostile\_Dialect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e495f1/32.png) [@Hostile\_Dialect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hostile_Dialect)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2008, 10:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-hot-and-lousy-in-bed-or-ugly-and-great-in-bed/437622/34 "2008-02-19T10:56:02Z")
> [@Sonny Boy Williamson](#): > > When she starts to lovin’, she brings eyesight to the blind I didn’t know Sonny Boy Williamson or his lover, but I’m willing to bet she didn’t learn how to do that from a book. ---
**Author:** ![CairoCarol](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cairocarol/32/3825_2.png) [@CairoCarol](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CairoCarol)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2008, 1:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-hot-and-lousy-in-bed-or-ugly-and-great-in-bed/437622/35 "2008-02-19T13:15:59Z")
The guy needs to be attentive to what I like, and to be turned on by seeing ME turned on. He needs to tell me in a deliciously salacious way what he likes me to do for him. He needs to be visibly aroused in response to my pleasure. He needs to show it when he’s aroused and feeling pleasure, especially if I’m following his advice on what I can do for him. None of the above has anything to do with looks. Gimmee the ugly guy with talent every time. (He can’t smell bad, though.) ---
**Author:** ![Echinacea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Echinacea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Echinacea)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2011, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-hot-and-lousy-in-bed-or-ugly-and-great-in-bed/437622/36 "2011-07-26T03:58:51Z")
That’s a tough one? I had a average looking guy just lay there, barely touched me, told me he had the nicest skin and all he wanted was a BJ. There might possibly be a reason he has been single so long? Making an effort is so important, so I might have to go with the ugly or none at all. ---
**Author:** ![rhubarbarin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eb9ed0/32.png) [@rhubarbarin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rhubarbarin)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2011, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-hot-and-lousy-in-bed-or-ugly-and-great-in-bed/437622/37 "2011-07-26T14:39:35Z")
The hot one. And no matter how passive he was I’d probably be able to enjoy myself, at least a bit. Most people totally repulse me sexually no matter their looks, personality, etc. And I’m pretty shallow, I’ve never had an iota of attraction to someone who wasn’t easy on the eyes. I simply could never be intimate with someone I found ‘ugly’. I’d rather go without sex forever. ---
**Author:** ![Claire\_Beauchamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ec9cab/32.png) [@Claire\_Beauchamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Claire_Beauchamp)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2011, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-hot-and-lousy-in-bed-or-ugly-and-great-in-bed/437622/38 "2011-07-26T15:40:08Z")
The main problem with this question is that (many) women have different criteria than do men. Objective physical attractiveness is great, but to me/us “attractive” has many facets. The guy I’m dating right now is cute enough, but what really gets my heart thumping is when he smiles at me. We are also very compatible without being clones, we have similar senses of humor, and we have pretty good chemistry. A pretty guy with a great smile who doesn’t _click_ with me wouldn’t turn me on in the least. I might sigh over a picture of … oh I dunno, George Clooney … but if we met and there wasn’t any personal zing, he wouldn’t turn me on at all. On the other hand, I’ve had crushes on guys who wouldn’t be anybody’s idea of Mr. Universe because of personality and compatibility. ---
**Author:** ![Rachellelogram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rachellelogram/32/8689_2.png) [@Rachellelogram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachellelogram)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2011, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-hot-and-lousy-in-bed-or-ugly-and-great-in-bed/437622/39 "2011-07-26T15:45:02Z")
I already prefer fat guys. I’d do Drew Carey in a New York minute. Or that other blonde fat guy uhhh, what’s his name… from the devil knows you’re dead movie… with the deep voice, who fucked Marisa Tomei. Love that guy! ---
**Author:** ![Edward\_The\_Head](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ce73a5/32.png) [@Edward\_The\_Head](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Edward_The_Head)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2011, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-hot-and-lousy-in-bed-or-ugly-and-great-in-bed/437622/40 "2011-07-26T15:57:04Z")
And now we see that Zombie Depp is the correct answer to the question. > [@HazelNutCoffee](#): > > Any guy just lying there isn’t going to turn me on at all, no matter how hot he is. Unless he’s Johnny Depp. Then he can be as still as a corpse for all I care. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-hot-and-lousy-in-bed-or-ugly-and-great-in-bed/437622.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-hot-and-lousy-in-bed-or-ugly-and-great-in-bed/437622.md?page=3)