# Women - how often do you experience catcalls? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 31, 2020, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-how-often-do-you-experience-catcalls/916937 "2020-07-31T20:17:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 11
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2020, 3:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-how-often-do-you-experience-catcalls/916937/202 "2020-08-06T03:07:31Z")
But they’re expensive to keep. They eat half a bagel, and a skinny, tall, sugarfree, soy latte from Starbucks every day. ---
**Author:** ![barkodogo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/barkodogo/32/3911_2.png) [@barkodogo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/barkodogo)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2020, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-how-often-do-you-experience-catcalls/916937/203 "2020-08-06T03:24:43Z")
I was a barista for a while, and on more than one occasion we were approached by women who were trying to throw off men that were actively _following_ them. If a random woman you don’t know starts talking to you like you’re an old friend in public, keep in mind she might be trying to scare a creep off. The number of men out there who openly harass women is disturbing. Not surprising considering how often we elect them to the presidency. ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2020, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-how-often-do-you-experience-catcalls/916937/204 "2020-08-06T17:50:28Z")
I once had a creep I knew vaguely, _constantly_ hitting on me (we shared a benscher at Hillel one Friday, which he seemed to think that counted as betrothal), and he would do this like I was a dartboard any time he ran into me, no matter how often I told him point blank I wasn’t interested. He was being my Siamese twin one day, when I was trying to get to a class in college, and I saw a guy across the road I’d gone to high school with. We’d hung out in the same crowd for several years, although I can’t say that we’d ever been alone together. Anyway, I said “Oh, there’s my boyfriend! His class must have been cancelled or something.” I ran across the street, and said to him, “I need a really big favor,” and gave him a pretty good kiss, then stood there with my arms around him, and told him the whole story. He laughed really hard, so I laughed too, and it probably looked good from across the street, assuming creep was watching. Creep left me alone after that. It probably helped that Old Friend was a pretty big guy, like 6’3. As a bonus, Old Friend and I reconnected, and resumed our friendship-- we didn’t start dating, but he was in a really good tabletop gaming group I joined. ---
**Author:** ![Ashtura](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ashtura/32/2963_2.png) [@Ashtura](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ashtura)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2020, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-how-often-do-you-experience-catcalls/916937/205 "2020-08-07T18:16:20Z")
My wife looks good in a form-fitting pair of jeans. She gets looks and the occasional “dayamn!” She’s in her mid-forties. I know this because they do it in front of me. 😕 ---
**Author:** ![blindboyard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blindboyard/32/2833_2.png) [@blindboyard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blindboyard)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2020, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-how-often-do-you-experience-catcalls/916937/206 "2020-08-07T18:46:59Z")
Someone talked to you and you responded by sexually assaulting a third party. And then came here to tell it as a cute story. Cool. ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2020, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-how-often-do-you-experience-catcalls/916937/207 "2020-08-07T18:48:41Z")
Try reading again for comprehension. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2020, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-how-often-do-you-experience-catcalls/916937/208 "2020-08-07T18:55:47Z")
Yeah, not even close. ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2020, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-how-often-do-you-experience-catcalls/916937/209 "2020-08-07T18:59:42Z")
You know, even if the sexes were flipped, if a guy I knew and trusted ran up to me, said “I need a huge favor”, kissed me, and then told me a plausible story about how his kissing me was protecting him from being harassed by a stalker… I’d be okay with that. ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2020, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-how-often-do-you-experience-catcalls/916937/210 "2020-08-07T19:21:53Z")
Yeah, I think motivation matters a lot here. ---
**Author:** ![blindboyard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blindboyard/32/2833_2.png) [@blindboyard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blindboyard)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2020, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-how-often-do-you-experience-catcalls/916937/211 "2020-08-07T19:38:01Z")
> [@puzzlegal](#): > > You know, even if the sexes were flipped, if a guy I knew and trusted ran up to me, said “I need a huge favor”, kissed me, and then told me a plausible story about how his kissing me was protecting him from being harassed by a stalker… I’d be okay with that. Read it again: “We’d hung out in the same crowd for several years, although I can’t say that we’d ever been alone together.” That’s not someone you know and trust, that’s barely an acquaintance. ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2020, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-how-often-do-you-experience-catcalls/916937/212 "2020-08-07T19:46:27Z")
> [@blindboyard](#): > > That’s not someone you know and trust, that’s barely an acquaintance. I’m pretty sure that there are a lot of people I know pretty well but have never been alone with. ---
**Author:** ![blindboyard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blindboyard/32/2833_2.png) [@blindboyard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blindboyard)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2020, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-how-often-do-you-experience-catcalls/916937/213 "2020-08-07T19:52:09Z")
There are people I know that well, and if they stuck their tongues down my throat I would be disgusted and I would freak the fuck out. ---
**Author:** ![EinsteinsHund](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/einsteinshund/32/8400_2.png) [@EinsteinsHund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EinsteinsHund)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2020, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-how-often-do-you-experience-catcalls/916937/214 "2020-08-07T19:54:02Z")
You have heard of movie kisses where you only pretend to use the tongue? ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2020, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-how-often-do-you-experience-catcalls/916937/215 "2020-08-07T20:00:20Z")
> [@blindboyard](#): > > There are people I know that well, and if they stuck their tongues down my throat I would be disgusted and I would freak the fuck out I’ll make a note of that. ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2020, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-how-often-do-you-experience-catcalls/916937/216 "2020-08-07T20:01:29Z")
> [@blindboyard](#): > > There are people I know that well, and if they stuck their tongues down my throat I would be disgusted and I would freak the fuck out “a pretty good kiss” is how it was described. You seem to be projecting. ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2020, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-how-often-do-you-experience-catcalls/916937/217 "2020-08-07T20:16:33Z")
I’d never been alone with him before, but for the record, I had kissed him before. No tongues were involved either time. I also once pretended to passionately (and by mutual consent) kiss a woman I’d just met at an anti-abortion counter protest. Wow, did a lot of the protesters get the hell out of there fast. Don’t know how relevant that is, except, apparently I can fake-kiss pretty good. ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2020, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-how-often-do-you-experience-catcalls/916937/218 "2020-08-07T21:24:27Z")
> [@Thudlow\_Boink](#): > > I’m pretty sure that there are a lot of people I know pretty well but have never been alone with. Ditto. There are some people I trust quite a lot that I may never have been alone with. > [@blindboyard](#): > > There are people I know that well, and if they stuck their tongues down my throat I would be disgusted and I would freak the fuck out. Ewww. I don’t even like tongue-kisses from people I am romantically involved with. She didn’t say she stuck her tongue into his mouth. > [@RivkahChaya](#): > > No tongues were involved either time. See! ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2020, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-how-often-do-you-experience-catcalls/916937/219 "2020-08-07T22:29:21Z")
Since it seems to be a matter of controversy, that bears some clarifying, this guy and I were part of a very close group of friends in high school. The comment about us never being alone together was just to show that we’d never been previously involved; however, this was a REALLY tight group of friends. And, FWIW, we were in theater together, so we did a lot of play-acting, and hamming it up around various subjects-- and a bigger ham than this guy, you don’t find very often. He ended up working for Cirque de Soleil for two years, and Busch Gardens for a while as well. I had kissed him before, involving certain parlour games that happen at high school parties, and I had seen him nearly naked, this involving the theater thing. We’d also juggled together. This was a group of friends that hugged and cuddled a lot, traded backrubs-- we were really affectionate-- I don’t know if other friends in high school were like this, but we were. And I also didn’t mean to imply that I hadn’t seen him since high school. I’d seen him around, and greeting him with a _hug_ was actually no big deal. Whispering “I need a favor,” and then kissing someone you’d done plays with, and worked Ren Faires with, with some suggestive banter (Yes, I needed a little consciousness raising back then, but this was almost 40 years ago), and what-not, was hardly what I’d call sexual harassment. Also, FWIW, I’d been to his house, met his parents, and soforth. I even knew his middle name (Justin). This wasn’t some guy I had a class with three time a week for a semester a year earlier. And again, no tongues were involved. Interestingly, he and the guy I was escaping had the same first name. Spelled differently, though. ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2020, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-how-often-do-you-experience-catcalls/916937/220 "2020-08-07T22:37:42Z")
The fact that @blindboyard could equate what you did with what the fellow you were trying to avoid did is disturbing. ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2020, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-how-often-do-you-experience-catcalls/916937/221 "2020-08-07T23:02:55Z")
Well, to be fair, not all the facts were in-- but I didn’t want to make the post too long-- never dreamed it would be controversial, but then, not everyone has the same backstory I do (jumping from “acting out a kiss” to “tongue down the throat” was a pretty big leap, though). I’m hoping that 1) now I’ve filled in some blanks, it’s clearer and 2) I have not hopelessly hijacked the thread. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-how-often-do-you-experience-catcalls/916937.md?page=10) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-how-often-do-you-experience-catcalls/916937.md?page=12)