# Women - how often do you experience catcalls? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 31, 2020, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-how-often-do-you-experience-catcalls/916937 "2020-07-31T20:17:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2020, 6:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-how-often-do-you-experience-catcalls/916937/102 "2020-08-02T06:26:54Z")
You’re not worth arguing. ---
**Author:** ![GreenWyvern](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/greenwyvern/32/2834_2.png) [@GreenWyvern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GreenWyvern)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2020, 6:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-how-often-do-you-experience-catcalls/916937/103 "2020-08-02T06:28:06Z")
Oh, look! We’ve dug up another old fossil! 🙄 ---
**Author:** ![pool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pool/32/4152_2.png) [@pool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pool)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2020, 6:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-how-often-do-you-experience-catcalls/916937/104 "2020-08-02T06:31:33Z")
I was born in the 80’s, hardly a fossil. ---
**Author:** ![raventhief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/raventhief/32/4_2.png) [@raventhief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/raventhief)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2020, 6:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-how-often-do-you-experience-catcalls/916937/105 "2020-08-02T06:33:58Z")
Ah, so you don’t even have the excuse of age for why you thinking catcalling is complimentary. ---
**Author:** ![pool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pool/32/4152_2.png) [@pool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pool)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2020, 6:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-how-often-do-you-experience-catcalls/916937/106 "2020-08-02T06:35:45Z")
In the man’s way of thinking it’s a compliment, I can accept that to a woman it may or may not be. But there is no question that unwanted flirtation is a part of what drives dating, sexual relationships, marriages, etc. ---
**Author:** ![GreenWyvern](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/greenwyvern/32/2834_2.png) [@GreenWyvern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GreenWyvern)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2020, 6:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-how-often-do-you-experience-catcalls/916937/107 "2020-08-02T06:36:42Z")
> [@pool](#): > > I was born in the 80’s, hardly a fossil. All the less excuse, then, for having ideas that were outdated in the 1950s. ---
**Author:** ![pool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pool/32/4152_2.png) [@pool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pool)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2020, 6:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-how-often-do-you-experience-catcalls/916937/108 "2020-08-02T06:39:30Z")
Initially unwanted flirtation is often if not always part of dating and courtship and many long lasting marriages. I won’t make the case that catcalling is necessary based on these facts but it certainly can be part of what gets a woman’s attention that leads to something further. ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2020, 6:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-how-often-do-you-experience-catcalls/916937/109 "2020-08-02T06:43:06Z")
Keep telling yourself that. ---
**Author:** ![pool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pool/32/4152_2.png) [@pool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pool)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2020, 6:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-how-often-do-you-experience-catcalls/916937/110 "2020-08-02T06:44:07Z")
I thought I wasn’t worth arguing with? ---
**Author:** ![GreenWyvern](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/greenwyvern/32/2834_2.png) [@GreenWyvern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GreenWyvern)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2020, 6:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-how-often-do-you-experience-catcalls/916937/111 "2020-08-02T06:48:09Z")
> [@pool](#): > > Initially unwanted flirtation is often if not always part of dating and courtship and many long lasting marriages. Is that the foundation of your own long and happy marriage? You started out by catcalling a woman in the street? ---
**Author:** ![pool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pool/32/4152_2.png) [@pool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pool)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2020, 6:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-how-often-do-you-experience-catcalls/916937/112 "2020-08-02T06:52:53Z")
Haha I had an average run in my marriage and my children wouldn’t have been born if it weren’t for a little flirtation that couldn’t have been known would be wanted unless a risk was taken that’s pretty much how all flirtation works. If the woman is receptive it’s awesome, if not your a boundary violating asshole. If you want I’ll tell you how my parents met, and you guessed it my Dad had to be a bit of a pushy asshole, that was persistent, that’s how men find a woman that is interested. ---
**Author:** ![GreenWyvern](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/greenwyvern/32/2834_2.png) [@GreenWyvern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GreenWyvern)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2020, 7:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-how-often-do-you-experience-catcalls/916937/113 "2020-08-02T07:09:32Z")
Sometimes you’re just left shaking your head and at a loss for words. ---
**Author:** ![Max\_S](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/46a35a/32.png) [@Max\_S](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_S)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2020, 10:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-how-often-do-you-experience-catcalls/916937/114 "2020-08-02T10:19:00Z")
Personally I don’t honk my horn at attractive passers-by, and I don’t catcall. I tried once as a child, and failed. To this day, I still cannot whistle. I have heard a couple old fogeys tell me that catcalling used to be as appropriate as “you look beautiful”. I can’t imagine when… the '30s? I don’t have any issue telling somebody I know that they look beautiful (or handsome), so long as I really think it is true. I do, unfortunately, hesitate to tell complete strangers that they look beautiful (or handsome). I don’t want to creep them out and it’s very awkward when unprompted. ~Max ---
**Author:** ![thorny\_locust](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thorny_locust/32/431_2.png) [@thorny\_locust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thorny_locust)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2020, 1:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-how-often-do-you-experience-catcalls/916937/115 "2020-08-02T13:02:57Z")
> [@pool](#): > > In the man’s way of thinking it’s a compliment, I can accept that to a woman it may or may not be. But there is no question that unwanted flirtation is a part of what drives dating, sexual relationships, marriages, etc. Yeah, it drives us as far away from the men who think like this as possible. > [@pool](#): > > Initially unwanted flirtation is often if not always part of dating and courtship Bullshit. > [@Max\_S](#): > > I do, unfortunately, hesitate to tell complete strangers that they look beautiful (or handsome). There’s nothing unfortunate about that at all. Why are you saying it’s unfortunate? ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2020, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-how-often-do-you-experience-catcalls/916937/116 "2020-08-02T13:52:29Z")
I am going to deviate from my sistern in this thread and say that your post contains a grain of truth, in my experience. The vast majority of women hate catcalling and aggressive flirtation. But there are some women who respond positively to this stuff, and we do need to appreciate this. The “Hey girl! What yo name is!” stuff that I dealt with as a teenager was a HUGE turn-off to me, and I’d run along without even acknowledging it. This is how my friends would behave too. But not all of my female contemporaries did. Some of them would shout back in a playful way. Some of them did their own versions of catcalling. For me, it was harassment. To them, it was a fun game that teenagers are supposed to play. Catcallers aren’t trying to pick up dates. They are performing for their own benefit. But the performing is a part of the sexual dance. There are (young) women who dig that kind of dance. Plenty of catcalling men have girlfriends and sexual escapades, so obviously they got some game. I won’t call the women who dig that kind of dance “foolish”, though I kind of want to. Everyone likes what they like. Young women might like aggro males because they equate aggro with swagger, and swagger has always been attractive. Lots of triflin’ male behavior gets a pass because it is coded as swagger. I talk about my older sister a lot here, and I hope she forgives me if she ever stumbles across my postings. She is one of these women, and she’s not even young! She doesn’t catcall. I don’t think she responds positively to all catcalling. But she would totally laugh if some guy shouted from afar “SHAKE THEM BIG TITTIES, GIRL!!” Whereas I would be alarmed. Based on her lack of sympathy for the “me too” movement, I’m gonna guess that she wouldn’t get my alarm response. In her mind, they are just words. Hilarious words. And as someone who is very sensual and sexual and OK with being objectified, she would receive it as a compliment. Through the years I’ve been able to help her to understand why that kind of behavior is unwanted and she has helped me to understand why it isn’t always unwanted. ---
**Author:** ![thorny\_locust](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thorny_locust/32/431_2.png) [@thorny\_locust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thorny_locust)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2020, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-how-often-do-you-experience-catcalls/916937/117 "2020-08-02T14:15:18Z")
A grain, perhaps. “Often if not always”? (Which I note is not quoting monstro, but pool.) Bullshit. ---
**Author:** ![MoonMoon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/moonmoon/32/2959_2.png) [@MoonMoon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MoonMoon)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2020, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-how-often-do-you-experience-catcalls/916937/118 "2020-08-02T14:22:30Z")
Internalized misogyny is too big a topic to get into as I’m running out the door, but it explains the “positive” responses to boorish behavior. I’ll check back in later. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2020, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-how-often-do-you-experience-catcalls/916937/119 "2020-08-02T14:23:44Z")
I watched a TED talk on women’s body image issues that made a fascinating and accurate point - bodies are not for looking at. Bodies are for doing and moving and working. This is my body; it is the only thing that I truly own, and some random man in a car thinks he can just co-opt my body into his sexual object for staring at and yelling at, and I deeply resent that. ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2020, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-how-often-do-you-experience-catcalls/916937/120 "2020-08-02T15:08:00Z")
This one too. ---
**Author:** ![DesertDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desertdog/32/11503_2.png) [@DesertDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DesertDog)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2020, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-how-often-do-you-experience-catcalls/916937/121 "2020-08-02T18:07:03Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > … and I deeply resent that. Still no _like_ button on this thing, dammit. I’m surprised this hasn’t been brought up before but decades ago there was a sketch on _Saturday Night Live_ where all the actresses were lined up in hard hats and vests on a sidewalk set catcalling the actors as they walked by. At least a couple of the men said later not all of their discomfort was acting and they’d gained some insight as to the repugnance most women feel. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-how-often-do-you-experience-catcalls/916937.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-how-often-do-you-experience-catcalls/916937.md?page=7)