# Women: Is it possible to not know your sexual partner has lied about wearing a condom? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 7, 2012, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-is-it-possible-to-not-know-your-sexual-partner-has-lied-about-wearing-a-condom/612091 "2012-02-07T17:41:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Jamaika\_a\_jamaikaiake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7993a0/32.png) [@Jamaika\_a\_jamaikaiake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jamaika_a_jamaikaiake)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2012, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-is-it-possible-to-not-know-your-sexual-partner-has-lied-about-wearing-a-condom/612091/1 "2012-02-07T17:41:06Z")
A woman I know told me that she had sex with a guy and told him to wear a condom, but didn’t know until afterward that he did not put one on. Does this sound plausible to the women of the dope? (Apparently the sex in question was doggie-style, so she didn’t see what was going on.) ---
**Author:** ![Heart\_of\_Dorkness](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/4bbf92/32.png) [@Heart\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heart_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2012, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-is-it-possible-to-not-know-your-sexual-partner-has-lied-about-wearing-a-condom/612091/2 "2012-02-07T17:46:40Z")
I find it somewhat unlikely that she’d ask him to wear a condom and then not _watch_ him put it on, but if he used enough lube, and she never touched him with her hands, sure - she wouldn’t necessarily feel the difference. ---
**Author:** ![brainstall](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/35a633/32.png) [@brainstall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brainstall)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2012, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-is-it-possible-to-not-know-your-sexual-partner-has-lied-about-wearing-a-condom/612091/3 "2012-02-07T17:49:31Z")
Or she may have watched him put it on but then when she turned her back to him, did not see him take it off. Or like one guy tried with me, just ripped it and slipped it down. ---
**Author:** ![perfectparanoia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a5b964/32.png) [@perfectparanoia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/perfectparanoia)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2012, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-is-it-possible-to-not-know-your-sexual-partner-has-lied-about-wearing-a-condom/612091/4 "2012-02-07T17:49:38Z")
I really depends how experienced she is and how often she has had sex with this partner. I find condoms pretty off-putting as a woman but with some penis shapes and sizes it is far more noticeable than others. After she dumps his ass (cause what kind of an asshole does that), a solution to the problem for her next relationship would be to bring her own condoms and have them be ribbed. They can be quite enjoyable and you can certainly tell the difference from the female end. ---
**Author:** ![CrazyCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CrazyCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrazyCatLady)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2012, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-is-it-possible-to-not-know-your-sexual-partner-has-lied-about-wearing-a-condom/612091/5 "2012-02-07T17:50:19Z")
Unless you’re talking some sort of textured product, it’s gonna feel pretty much the same to us, at least until the end. So if you don’t see it go on, or grab his dick to guide it in, you’re pretty much taking it on faith. ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2012, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-is-it-possible-to-not-know-your-sexual-partner-has-lied-about-wearing-a-condom/612091/6 "2012-02-07T17:51:39Z")
Lights were out? She was a bit drunk? All sorts of options… ---
**Author:** ![Foxy40](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a9a28c/32.png) [@Foxy40](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Foxy40)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2012, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-is-it-possible-to-not-know-your-sexual-partner-has-lied-about-wearing-a-condom/612091/7 "2012-02-07T17:59:33Z")
Agree with crazycat lady. Unless you actually see it put on, it is difficult to tell. ---
**Author:** ![GrandWino](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grandwino/32/67_2.png) [@GrandWino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrandWino)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2012, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-is-it-possible-to-not-know-your-sexual-partner-has-lied-about-wearing-a-condom/612091/8 "2012-02-07T18:00:35Z")
It’s the entire premise of the movie “Knocked Up”, FWIW. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2012, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-is-it-possible-to-not-know-your-sexual-partner-has-lied-about-wearing-a-condom/612091/9 "2012-02-07T23:38:38Z")
On a couple occasions, I’ve had condoms break on me while having sex with women. While I could easily tell the difference, my partners were never aware until I told them. (Which, of course, I did immediately.) ---
**Author:** ![overlyverbose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/9dc877/32.png) [@overlyverbose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/overlyverbose)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2012, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-is-it-possible-to-not-know-your-sexual-partner-has-lied-about-wearing-a-condom/612091/10 "2012-02-08T02:39:45Z")
For me it depends. When I was dating, if it was someone I’d had sex with frequently, I could tell the difference. If I hadn’t had sex with them often or alcohol was involved, then it was much less likely. As it is, there’s a huge difference (lube or not) if my husband is wearing a condom, but I know his equipment very well. And most condoms have a very distinctive odor, whether they have lubricant or not, including those that have been used vs. not (and no, I do not make a habit of sniffing condoms; I can smell it from a few feet away - a strong sense of smell is sometimes a bad thing). ---
**Author:** ![treis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bc79bd/32.png) [@treis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/treis)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2012, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-is-it-possible-to-not-know-your-sexual-partner-has-lied-about-wearing-a-condom/612091/11 "2012-02-08T04:20:32Z")
> [@brainstall](#): > > Or like one guy tried with me, just ripped it and slipped it down. What makes you think he did this on purpose, and how do you think he did it? ---
**Author:** ![crookedteeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b4bc9f/32.png) [@crookedteeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/crookedteeth)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2012, 6:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-is-it-possible-to-not-know-your-sexual-partner-has-lied-about-wearing-a-condom/612091/12 "2012-02-08T06:49:07Z")
I hate condoms, sex is so much better without (which is why I’m on the pill). I would definitely notice if my boyfriend was suddenly wearing a condom or if he had taken it off. I’ve always been able to tell a difference between condoms or without, and I have a habit of occasionally touching his junk as it’s going in and out, so I would definitely notice. But it’s possible that someone else might not. ---
**Author:** ![grude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47774/32.png) [@grude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/grude)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2012, 6:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-is-it-possible-to-not-know-your-sexual-partner-has-lied-about-wearing-a-condom/612091/13 "2012-02-08T06:51:46Z")
According to my wife she cannot tell if I am wearing a condom or not during sex, this came up because I was complaining how horrible condom sex was 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Toxylon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f05b48/32.png) [@Toxylon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Toxylon)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2012, 10:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-is-it-possible-to-not-know-your-sexual-partner-has-lied-about-wearing-a-condom/612091/14 "2012-02-08T10:37:21Z")
Several of the women I’ve had sex with have told me they can feel whether I’m wearing a condom or not. All of these women have told me they prefer penetration without one. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2012, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-is-it-possible-to-not-know-your-sexual-partner-has-lied-about-wearing-a-condom/612091/15 "2012-02-08T15:00:59Z")
> [@overlyverbose](#): > > As it is, there’s a huge difference (lube or not) if my husband is wearing a condom, but I know his equipment very well. And most condoms have a very distinctive odor, whether they have lubricant or not, including those that have been used vs. not (and no, I do not make a habit of sniffing condoms; I can smell it from a few feet away - a strong sense of smell is sometimes a bad thing). I’ve found for me that’s true for latex, but not for vinyl or whatever those other condoms are made of (no, not lambskin). Plus I’m not sure whether I’d be able to detect the position of the condom by scent if it was just dropped next to the bed. For me, it’s been a while since I’ve needed one, but position, condom type/fit, and apparently random factors make a difference. ---
**Author:** ![kanicbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5f8ce5/32.png) [@kanicbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kanicbird)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2012, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-is-it-possible-to-not-know-your-sexual-partner-has-lied-about-wearing-a-condom/612091/16 "2012-02-08T15:52:46Z")
Is it possible after withdrawal and the guy washes up for the woman to know if it has been condom sex or not from what is left inside her? (that is without a child being conceived or forensic methods) ---
**Author:** ![aerodave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f08c70/32.png) [@aerodave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aerodave)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2012, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-is-it-possible-to-not-know-your-sexual-partner-has-lied-about-wearing-a-condom/612091/17 "2012-02-08T15:56:48Z")
> [@kanicbird](#): > > Is it possible after withdrawal and the guy washes up for the woman to know if it has been condom sex or not from what is left inside her? > (that is without a child being conceived or forensic methods) I don’t even have a vagina, and I know the answer to that is yes. One word: leakage. ---
**Author:** ![jharvey963](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/54ee81/32.png) [@jharvey963](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jharvey963)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2012, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-is-it-possible-to-not-know-your-sexual-partner-has-lied-about-wearing-a-condom/612091/18 "2012-02-08T23:58:08Z")
It’s also possible for a condom to slip off during sex. Many years ago, I remember starting with a condom, then after a while going, “wait… what??? Where’d it go?” It’s possible if the man is overly wet due to oral for the condom to slip off easier than you may think. J. ---
**Author:** ![Carol\_the\_Impaler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Carol\_the\_Impaler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Carol_the_Impaler)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2012, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-is-it-possible-to-not-know-your-sexual-partner-has-lied-about-wearing-a-condom/612091/19 "2012-02-09T02:02:22Z")
And here’s a pro tip in that situation: do not keep thrusting, sir, or you will force that condom up very very far into your partner’s vagina. Guess who has to go in after it with his fingers later? And not in the good way. Not. Romantic. ---
**Author:** ![simster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/simster/32/1047_2.png) [@simster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/simster)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2012, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-is-it-possible-to-not-know-your-sexual-partner-has-lied-about-wearing-a-condom/612091/20 "2012-02-09T02:28:01Z")
> [@Carol\_the\_Impaler](#): > > And here’s a pro tip in that situation: do not keep thrusting, sir, or you will force that condom up very very far into your partner’s vagina. Guess who has to go in after it with his fingers later? And not in the good way. > > Not. Romantic. just have to say it - post/username combo == win [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-is-it-possible-to-not-know-your-sexual-partner-has-lied-about-wearing-a-condom/612091.md?page=2)