# Women: Is this okay to wear to a wedding? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [May 25, 2011, 1:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-is-this-okay-to-wear-to-a-wedding/583142 "2011-05-25T13:08:27Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2011, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-is-this-okay-to-wear-to-a-wedding/583142/41 "2011-05-25T21:58:34Z")
Can you show us pics from the wedding website (or reasonable facsimiles from elsewhere)? It seems that different people in this thread have a different idea of what you mean. In my opinion, that shirt with a proper over-the-knees skirt fits “not super-fancy, but on the formal side,” but I’m used to your proposed outfit being considered church-level formal, and it sounds like you don’t think it is. ---
**Author:** ![gallows\_fodder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8c91f0/32.png) [@gallows\_fodder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gallows_fodder)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2011, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-is-this-okay-to-wear-to-a-wedding/583142/42 "2011-05-25T23:56:43Z")
Well, I emailed the bride, and she said that pants would be fine for the wedding (and I phrased the question in such a way that she wouldn’t have a problem saying no to pants), and that the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner would be casual, so I that gives me more leeway. I don’t want to link to their website for privacy’s sake, but I know them pretty well and they’re not what most of you would consider formal, upscale people. None of us come from money, we all work in the same profession and make a pittance, we used to live in a commune-style arrangement where we had “vows” of simplicity and did direct service work with the poor and marginalized…it’s not a high society social circle, is what I’m saying. I think they’d be happy as long as I made a visible effort to look more refined than (yikes) a t-shirt and cords(!). And trust me, we have friends who would not know to do even that (but they’re not coming). However, I still might go with a skirt or another dress, because I have such few occasions in my quiet life to wear pretty dresses, but I’m definitely bringing that blouse and pants along for options. Maybe I can get a sense at the rehearsal what the tone of the wedding will be, and wear those pants or a skirt depending. (I freaking love that blouse, so the blouse is coming with me regardless. It looks a lot nicer on me than it does on that headless dummy, I promise. And with a belt, even better.) But thank you for all of your advice, everyone – I’ll keep this thread bookmarked for when I go to my next wedding. (Always a wedding guest, never a bride.) This is why I’d have to elope. I fret this much over my clothes over a month in advance, and I’m not even the one getting married! ---
**Author:** ![alphaboi867](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alphaboi867/32/3898_2.png) [@alphaboi867](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alphaboi867)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2011, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-is-this-okay-to-wear-to-a-wedding/583142/43 "2011-05-26T00:36:15Z")
> [@salinqmind](#): > > (you’re worried about going sleeveless in church when 99% of brides wear those horrible strapless gowns? that the priests despise but can’t do anything about?)…Just wanted to add that yeah, that outfit is a bit informal, but I LOVE it, and the shoes, for non-church. You have a bit of time to find something else to wear, good luck! > [@RandMcnally](#): > > Each church is different irt dresses. My priest said no to a strapless dress. If the wife showed up with one either shed have to put this poncho thing over it or he wouldn’t have married us. That happend to one of my cousins. His fiancee ended ordering a dress with a detachable shawl. It looked better with the shawl on. > [@salinqmind](#): > > ( O/T - I hate hate hate the strapless wedding gown and don’t know why it’s stuck around for years and years - I read where brides can’t FIND anything different in the shops, because apparently sleeves and a neckline are passe. :mad: So every bride, from a 90 lb. stick insect to a full-figured 300 lbs. is crammed into the strapless, and maybe one in a dozen look all right in it. … Beatrice’s hat thing sold for over $130,000 :eek: but at least the proceeds are going to charity!) Hopefully Catherine will have set a trend. ---
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2011, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-is-this-okay-to-wear-to-a-wedding/583142/44 "2011-05-26T01:16:09Z")
GF, In your original post you said: [QUOTE=gallows fodder] it’s going to be a fairly upscale affair. (Not super-fancy, but on the formal side.) [/QUOTE] and that’s what people’s responses have mostly been based on. Since you’ve emailed the bride and now you’re thinking it’s not quite so upscale or formal… that does change things. However, knowing that, consider what will make YOU feel the most comfortable… if you’re the only one in pants, even if it’s okay with the bride (who probably won’t even notice what anyone is wearing), will YOU feel out of place? I’d still go with a dress or skirt. Still curious about what happened to my earlier post where I suggested belting the blouse so it wouldn’t look so “hippie-tunic-y”? ---
**Author:** ![gallows\_fodder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8c91f0/32.png) [@gallows\_fodder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gallows_fodder)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2011, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-is-this-okay-to-wear-to-a-wedding/583142/45 "2011-05-26T01:25:06Z")
I guess earlier I meant “fairly upscale” for us, as in, it’s not a backyard wedding with a potluck reception…it’s in an actual church and the reception is at a hotel. So, not like Main Line or New York high society evening wedding to which you wear your good jewels, just…no Birkenstocks and hippy skirts, please. Sorry, I should have been clearer and realized “upscale” is relative. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2011, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-is-this-okay-to-wear-to-a-wedding/583142/46 "2011-05-26T02:26:28Z")
> [@apollonia](#): > > Covered heads haven’t been standard in Catholic churches since Vatican II. It’s entirely POSSIBLE that this church may be full of old traditional ladies wearing hats, but it’s equally possible that there won’t be a hat in the place. Yeah, I’m at a lot of Catholic weddings every year, and hats are not a common feature. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2011, 5:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-is-this-okay-to-wear-to-a-wedding/583142/47 "2011-05-26T05:54:57Z")
> [@lindsaybluth](#): > > I don’t want to believe you. I want to call you a filthy liar. But I know, deep down, that this it must be true. > > Wedding dress? Not getting hitched for awhile. Or did you mean the dress I wore to his wedding? Hmm, it was like [this](http://www.dillards.com/product/Maggy-London-FloralPrint-Dress_301_-1_301_502545585) (Steeler colors!) but it was black/white floral print and the straps were thinner, like 2 or 2.5" thick. I had a thin sweater covering the shoulders too, IIRC. I prefer cocktail dresses but this was a daytime wedding too. (And before anyone else says OMG $140 that’s 3 videogames, [this dress](http://www.sears.com/shc/s/p_10153_12605_031J7697000P?sid=IDx20070921x00003a&ci_src=14110944&ci_sku=031J7697000P) is also quite cute and perfectly acceptable at a daytime wedding.) I was asking about the OP’s dress she mentioned, but those are cute! If you look at the picture of [me](http://www.nouilles.info/sdpix/8080.html) from the Doper gallery, that’s from my cousin’s wedding. (I took my pantyhose off as soon as we got to the reception and stuffed them in my purse. I hate pantyhose) No, not the same wedding as the cousin who wore a teeshirt. ---
**Author:** ![Farmer\_Jane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Farmer\_Jane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Farmer_Jane)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2011, 7:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-is-this-okay-to-wear-to-a-wedding/583142/48 "2011-05-26T07:36:00Z")
To a Southern weddin’? Heck no. Actually, at first I thought you meant Deep South, but you mean L-ville. That’s as varied as any non-coastal city, eh. It would help if we knew your body shape, but do this: Go to [theknot.com](http://theknot.com), click on Louisville weddings, see if you can find one with that church, cruise what the guests are wearing, and then find the appropriate affordable attire. What are the bridesmaids wearing? Color? What does the invite specifically say? (Black tie optional…?) If you can pull it off, a proper pastel will suit you just fine if it really is more ‘upscale’. Actually, anyone can wear Marie Antoinette-type colors with a fake tan and proper fitting. :dubious: But if you really want to be comfortable and achieve that subtle bohemian/I don’t have to keep pushing up my boobs in this strapless bra thing…go the Halston-inspired look: try a dress with kimono sleeves and watch the length. Get an upscaled one and get a subtle print or silk. (I can sew, so I’d make my own.) Be yourself. It sounds like this wedding accommodates such a look, no? The last time I went to a wedding, I wore hunter green silk pants and a black dress top and black pointed heels. (All right, this was 2003.) Damn, I was so glad to not have to play with my boobies and I looked rather hot and appropriate. 😉 I love this stuff. 😛 Hate weddings, though. If someone I know _does_ get married in the South and there will be big hats involved, I am so there. ---
**Author:** ![Superdude](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/superdude/32/13450_2.png) [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2011, 10:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-is-this-okay-to-wear-to-a-wedding/583142/49 "2011-05-26T10:53:33Z")
> [@gallows\_fodder](#): > > You’re exactly right. 🙂 And the wedding will be in Louisville. Having lived in Louisville for several years, and being born and raised in that area, I feel fairly confident that the outfit you’re describing would suffice admirably. I don’t see a problem with wearing slacks, either (FWIW, I was married on the 4th of July, so I’m trying to factor in heat and humidity, also). I’ve been to many, many weddings in this area, and I think you’d fit in pretty well, all things considered. **Girl Wonder** says that, as described, the outfit would be fine, but that a skirt may be a better idea, at least in regards to temperatures in this neck of the woods. ETA: Straight male here, but **Girl Wonder** controls time and space, so I defer to her. ---
**Author:** ![salinqmind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3ec8ea/32.png) [@salinqmind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/salinqmind)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2011, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-is-this-okay-to-wear-to-a-wedding/583142/50 "2011-05-26T14:16:55Z")
Some of my very best dressy outfits have been from thrift stores and consignment shops. Classic type pieces, designer labels, in expensive fabrics. I even took the price tags off before I wore them…It’s not all pill-y Disney sweatshirts and 80’s purple jumpsuits there, you know. Since this wedding isn’t being held on top of a skyscraper in NYC with sniffy fashionistas there to pick apart your outfit, I would take a look in the thrifts or more likely find something in a consignment shop that doesn’t take junk. And there’s nothing wrong with Sears! Or Target, Macy’s, or TJ Maxx. ---
**Author:** ![gallows\_fodder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8c91f0/32.png) [@gallows\_fodder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gallows_fodder)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2011, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-is-this-okay-to-wear-to-a-wedding/583142/51 "2011-05-26T16:26:26Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > I was asking about the OP’s dress she mentioned, but those are cute! I don’t have any pictures of it, but it was from Anthropologie and was 1920s-esque except with a high waist instead of a drop waist. Sage green crepe silk with a silk slip underneath, short-sleeved, square collar, knee-length, and with this interesting design molded into the fabric (hard to explain) at the collar and down the front. I’m a big fan of vintage fashion from the 1920s and '30s, but with my size 10/12 hourglass figure, I just can’t pull that silhouette off. (I have a reproduction 1920s dress that I can only wear around the house because the boxy drop-waist look is THE WORST POSSIBLE LOOK for me, but I can’t help loving that [del]man[/del] dress. I just wear it when bumming around the house where no one can see me.) So this dress was great because it had the spirit of the era I love, but with a flattering silhouette. In theory. In practice, because it’s a little small around the waist band, the fabric in the back of the skirt poofs out around my hips/butt and makes my butt look enormous from the side. I mean, it _is_ enormous, but another style like a sheath dress somehow minimizes the enormity and makes me look more proportionate. ---
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2011, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-is-this-okay-to-wear-to-a-wedding/583142/52 "2011-05-27T01:55:13Z")
Anthropologie is my most favorite-est store in the whole world. If they would let me live there, I would. Carry on. ---
**Author:** ![lindsaybluth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/90db22/32.png) [@lindsaybluth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lindsaybluth)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2011, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-is-this-okay-to-wear-to-a-wedding/583142/53 "2011-05-27T02:47:03Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > I was asking about the OP’s dress she mentioned, but those are cute! > > If you look at the picture of [me](http://www.nouilles.info/sdpix/8080.html) from the Doper gallery, that’s from my cousin’s wedding. (I took my pantyhose off as soon as we got to the reception and stuffed them in my purse. I hate pantyhose) I like your dress too! I hate when people whine and say “Waaaah, dresses cost money”. They so do not; in fact many are cheaper than pants and a shirt (decent jeans run WAY more than $30). So, OP, you’re always welcome to look at Sears dresses (not that I spent several hours looking through them yesterday in sheer awe they had such cute ones at such reasonable rices). Did anyone else know Sears sold stuff other than drapes and grills and powertools? ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2011, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-is-this-okay-to-wear-to-a-wedding/583142/54 "2011-05-27T03:30:17Z")
Thanks! I think I spent about fifty bucks – it was on sale at Penneys, and since my sister works there, I got a discount. Success! ---
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2011, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-is-this-okay-to-wear-to-a-wedding/583142/55 "2011-05-27T04:28:21Z")
Sears has some surprisingly cute clothes! Dresses generally cost waaaay less than jeans. And in the summer, dresses are a lot cooler (_temperature_-cooler, I mean, not _stylish_-cooler, although that could be true, too). ---
**Author:** ![gallows\_fodder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8c91f0/32.png) [@gallows\_fodder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gallows_fodder)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2011, 12:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-is-this-okay-to-wear-to-a-wedding/583142/56 "2011-05-27T12:11:54Z")
> [@ThelmaLou](#): > > Anthropologie is my most favorite-est store in the whole world. If they would let me live there, I would. > > Carry on. Me too! Thankfully, they’re a little expensive for my budget, otherwise I would buy a whole new wardrobe every time I walked through the doors. 🙂 I love their home decor and kitchenware, too. Look at all the [pretty plates!](http://www.anthropologie.com/anthro/catalog/category.jsp?id=HOME-TABLETOP-DINNERWARE&pushId=HOME-TABLETOP-DINNERWARE&popId=HOME&navAction=top&navCount=6&startValue=1&itemCount=-1&displayNumber=8&viewAllOnOnePage=yes&_DARGS=/anthro/catalog/common/highlited_itemcount.jsp_A&_DAV=true&_dynSessConf=334040388246822221) ---
**Author:** ![Vihaga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Vihaga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vihaga)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2011, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-is-this-okay-to-wear-to-a-wedding/583142/57 "2011-05-27T15:28:21Z")
I’m kind of surprised at how quickly so many people dismissed pants as even being an option. I guess I know too many women who avoid skirts on principle. What would you ladies consider to be a wedding-appropriate outfit for someone who doesn’t do dresses or skirts? ---
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2011, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-is-this-okay-to-wear-to-a-wedding/583142/58 "2011-05-27T15:46:17Z")
Buy a skirt and get over yourself. ---
**Author:** ![Bridget\_Burke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7cd45c/32.png) [@Bridget\_Burke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bridget_Burke)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2011, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-is-this-okay-to-wear-to-a-wedding/583142/59 "2011-05-27T16:16:15Z")
Or wear white tie & tails. However, only somebody who resembles Marlene Dietrich can really work the look… For the rest of us, a dress is more festive. And more comfortable–especially in hot weather. ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2011, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-is-this-okay-to-wear-to-a-wedding/583142/60 "2011-05-27T16:26:51Z")
Something like this would be fine: [http://is10.eporia.com/company\_1001/640886.jpg?cvt=jpeg](http://is10.eporia.com/company_1001/640886.jpg?cvt=jpeg) I object to wearing a pair of work pants and a blouse to a wedding - if you insist on wearing pants at least make them part of a suit. And not a business suit - a dressy suit. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-is-this-okay-to-wear-to-a-wedding/583142.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-is-this-okay-to-wear-to-a-wedding/583142.md?page=4)