I absolutely never wear a skirt or dress to work. Never. I don’t find it comfortable or work-attire like. Plus the place is a/c’d to the max so I’d freeze to death first.
But come on, who doesn’t “do” dresses or skirts ever? That’s like a guy saying “Oh shucks, I don’t do suits”. Um, then you’re going to be a pain to the rest of the people around you. Plus if you’re regularly going to the theater or symphony, you should be in a dress or skirt anyways.
We’re not tomboys in the 7th grade anymore, so yeah, this.
I’d say that outfit would be okay for a wedding, even in the South (though you’d be definitely on the more casual end)… but not okay for doing a reading.
In my wedding, our readers were considered part of the wedding party; the readers were in our pics and everything. Now, both our readers were close friends of mine and I told them I would be perfectly happy if they showed up in slacks and a button-down shirt (and I would have been), but they both opted for much more dressy clothing – and I think they were right to do so, if only because they were surrounded by people wearing formal dresses for much of the wedding and pics.
One of them, who never wears skirts, found formal dressy flowy pants that were quite beautiful and that looked very much like a skirt.
Wow, really? I… don’t see this, at all. Even the 60+ crowd will dress up with very expensive tailored pants and fancy silk blouses with expensive jewelry rather than dresses. But I do live in CA. I seem to remember back when I lived in Boston you did have to put on a dress. Or at least, like my friend, find something that looked like a skirt even if it wasn’t.
ETA: My husband doesn’t “do” suits unless forced (for example, he was forced to wear one at his sister’s wedding because he was quasi-in the wedding party; I don’t think he wore one to his grandmother’s funeral). It bugs me, because at my church everyone wears suits every week, and I like to dress up for going to the theater or symphony myself, but… whatever.
Now that you mention it, I see the older crowd (though I’d peg it at 70+) here do the same thing - women, that is. Men will at least be in nice slacks and a button down. This is at a symphony/theater; most weddings I go to have just the couples’ grandparents as the older people and they do wear skirts or dresses.
That’s kind of my beef with the OP: dressing up isn’t for you, it’s about fitting into the group of people you’re with and pleasing your family and your friends to an extent. Lots of people have told her if she’s doing a reading she really should look nicer. Your husband pisses you off by not dressing to match you - and it should piss you off. You have a right to say “Dude, could you just look nice for once?” It’s a respect issue as well, to the event and to the people throwing the event. Too casual clothes signal “I don’t feel this event is important to bother with looking appropriate”. Barring physical disabilities, I don’t understand how dressing up is a major imposition that people make it out to be.
I wore a dress to the last wedding I attended, so I don’t personally refuse to wear a dress, but I have certainly worked with people who never would. I would never wear a skirt to a work function, because I don’t find them to be professional (especially in the industry in which I work, where no one should be wearing a skirt to work anyway), but I also don’t think it should be required that one half of the population expose their legs in order to be “dressed up” at parties. It seems a little bit sexist, like it being inappropriate for women to wear pants to work in the fifties. I did like the pantsuit that alice linked; I actually have a couple of things like that in my wardrobe, though I haven’t worn them in years and should probably get rid of them.
I do think dressing for the theater is changing, at least around here (Philadelphia). The last ballet I attended was on a Friday evening, and I was perfectly comfortable in dress slacks and a nice blouse. My husband, in a suit, felt overdressed compared to the rest of the audience. In other cities it’s probably different.
/edit: (I accidentally cut this.) I tend to dress more season-consciously for weddings than I do for anything else. It seems like a crowd of guests sporting colors that don’t clash with the overall 'feel" of the wedding makes for a nice vibe and nicer pictures.
Yeah, this is kind of the way I feel about that too.
Heh. Before we started dating, my husband used to wear shorts to church and to the symphony. (Though not, I am happy to say, to weddings.) They were nice shorts, and he’d wear a button-down shirt and nice shoes as well, but… no! Our compromise has been that he has to wear slacks to church and to Any Event I Deem Too Fancy for Shorts, and I’ll give him a pass on the suit thing most of the time (except for family events, which are at the discretion of the family member hosting the event… apparently his mom didn’t care about what he wore to grandma’s funeral). Small steps…
That is frickin’ GORGEOUS! You know, I’d almost say that’s TOO dressy for a wedding guest, but as someone giving a reading, I’d say it would work beautifully.
I also found this pant suit - I’d wear that to a wedding (maybe not to a summer wedding in the south, mind you). I definitely think there is a way to wear pantsuits and still look dressy enough for just about any occasion. alice’s linked suit with fancy shoes would take you just about anywhere.
An aside - I have the same skin tone and hair colour as that model in the steel grey pantsuit - why can’t I wear that colour?
That’d be me. I don’t own one, and likely never will. I hate them. I don’t know how to wear them, how to walk in them, or how to sit in them. I hate the kind of shoes you have to wear with them, too. I don’t feel like I have to show my legs (or my arms, or anything else that guys don’t have to show) simply to “fit in.” If invited to a function that requires me to wear a dress (which has not happened in over 20 years) then I will politely decline the invitation.
I’m happy to wear dressy slacks and top, and dressy shoes. But if you don’t want me in pants, then you don’t want me. Simple as that. And I won’t be offended in the slightest.
I don’t know how tight the dress is, but have you considered Serious Underwear? Foundation garments have gone space-age over the last decade, and they aren’t your grandma’s girdle anymore. If the dress fits but doesn’t fit-fit, take the dress to a nice underwear shop–the sort of place that does the girding under wedding dresses–and say you’d like to see if the look can be improved. They may be able to help you. It may also be uncomfortable, but not as uncomfortable as you might think.
And frankly, a good set of Serious Underwear is a better investment than a new outfit. A nice outfit may end up being occasion-specific, but Serious Underwear can make any cheap outfit look a thousand times better: it smoothes the lines, eliminates irregularities, and just gives you that “nice” look that we normally associate with higher-end clothes.
A smart trouser suit. Wide-legged trousers in a material like silk are also appopriate. My ex wore the former (navy blue with a Japan collar) to her sister’s wedding and it definitely looked fine. Wearing a skirt would have made her extremely uncomfortable, and I mean really really uncomfortable - like forcing a man to wear a skirt other than a kilt - so her family would never have asked that.
faints
Although at my last cousin’s wedding (the one from my picture), people brought their Penguins jerseys, and wore them over their good clothes for a little while – including the bride and groom. If only because there was a play-off game the following day (that was the year we won the Stanley Cup). But that was while goofing off on the dance floor. They weren’t worn to the ceremony, or the reception. Just for a little while.
It took me FOREVER to convince my dad to let me wear dress shorts when I was younger to church. Because my dad’s a funeral director, he’s always in a suit and tie.
So, I got another dress to wear to the wedding. It’s a navy blue, knee-length, sleeveless sheath dress with a high waist/empire waist, and the cloth has large abstract pattern embroidered into it in the same color. It looks really nice on me, if I do say so myself. I also got a pointelle-knit 3/4-sleeve cardigan in periwinkle blue to wear over it, to cover my arms. I’ll probably swelter in the outdoors, but be fine in the air-conditioned church and reception hall.
I have a pair of silver mary janes I was thinking of wearing with it – this exact pair, although those aren’t my legs. They’ve got cute Louis heels, which you can’t see in the picture. Would those be better than the sandals I linked in the OP? I also have these shoes in navy.
But then I was thinking of putting a colored belt over the waist band of the dress, in maybe a dark pink, for some contrasting color. But I didn’t know if a pink belt and silver shoes would go together? Maybe the pink belt and navy shoes? I know there used to be a rule about belt and shoes matching but a) to hell with that rule and b) I think there needs to be more color up top, to brighten up the dark navy dress.
Thanks! Did I mention the dress and the cardigan together came to $60 on sale? I got them at an Ann Taylor LOFT outlet, but I can’t find images online to link to. (Edit: It might be this dress but it’s hard to tell from such a small image.)
Those silver heels are much, much more comfortable than the sandals I posted, which is a big plus.
I was thinking of a dark pink/watermelon color for the belt (like this, but not that belt because it’s too long).
I also got a pointelle-knit 3/4-sleeve cardigan in periwinkle blue to wear over it, to cover my arms. I’ll probably swelter in the outdoors, but be fine in the air-conditioned church and reception hall.
