# Women: obese vs short men **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 12, 2009, 11:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-obese-vs-short-men/520984 "2009-12-12T11:05:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2009, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-obese-vs-short-men/520984/21 "2009-12-12T23:06:59Z")
> [@](#): > > Also, the ‘rather’ in your question sort of softens the whole premise. Makes it less categorical. > [@JohnClay](#): > > Sorry I don’t understand… is there a better way of doing this poll? I agree about that “rather.” That usually means would prefer, but I have a suspicion that you’re not asking that but instead want to know below which height would be a deal-breaker too no matter how fit. I would **prefer** to date a guy at least 5’8" but I could see meeting a great guy as short as 5’4" and dating him anyway. Do I answer rather 5’4" or 5’8"? ---
**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2009, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-obese-vs-short-men/520984/22 "2009-12-12T23:37:43Z")
> [@elfkin477](#): > > …I would **prefer** to date a guy at least 5’8" but I could see meeting a great guy as short as 5’4" and dating him anyway. Do I answer rather 5’4" or 5’8"? Would you rather date a 6’ obese man (see pic) or a 5’4" short man? If you answered 5’4" then you should vote for that. ---
**Author:** ![Sue\_Duhnym](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/91b2a8/32.png) [@Sue\_Duhnym](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sue_Duhnym)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2009, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-obese-vs-short-men/520984/23 "2009-12-13T02:10:41Z")
Well, I answered 5’8" but I’d be okay with someone maybe as short as 5’6". Since I’m 5’9", a 5’4" man would be just too weird. In reality, I’m married to a 6’2" obese-ish man so it was really more about who I connected with rather than some ideal body type/height. ---
**Author:** ![Argent\_Towers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e8c25b/32.png) [@Argent\_Towers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Argent_Towers)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2009, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-obese-vs-short-men/520984/24 "2009-12-13T02:20:47Z")
For the record, a lot of women seem to find Tony Soprano’s character attractive. I don’t mean on the show, I mean in real life. Even my girlfriend admitted he was sexy, albeit in an unconventional way. This is because James Gandolfini is about 6’2" and even though he is very overweight, he carries the weight well on his frame. On a tall guy like him, all that weight, especially if it’s well distributed, says “power.” His character on the show exudes power (which, in turn, generally means sexual attraction.) But if James Gandolfini was 5’6"? It would never work. The character would never work, his attraction to women wouldn’t be plausible - he would just look like a short, fat man. In other words - a taller man can “pull off” a heavier bodyweight easier than a short man. This is pretty common-sense, I think. I also think that even for a 6’2" obese man, those moobs in the OP’s image are pretty pronounced. That would be a dealbreaker for a lot of women. ---
**Author:** ![PandaBear77](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/edb3f5/32.png) [@PandaBear77](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PandaBear77)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2009, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-obese-vs-short-men/520984/25 "2009-12-13T03:02:00Z")
I prefer big guys. I don’t think I’d date anyone shorter than me (5’6"). Maybe one inch shorter … shorter than that, no. I much prefer he be taller than me, though. ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2009, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-obese-vs-short-men/520984/26 "2009-12-13T03:12:10Z")
I was acquainted with a guy in college who was maybe 5’ tall – I think he was actually just under 5’ – and he seemed to do okay with the ladies. He dated a friend of mine for a while, and there were other girls who were interested in him. I don’t know that I’d say this guy was “ideally built”, but he worked out and was in good physical shape, had a reasonably handsome face, and generally seemed like a nice and cool guy. I’m sure he’d have been considered even more attractive if he’d been a foot taller, or even a few inches taller, but there are plenty of women (including my friend) who are only about 5’ tall themselves and at least some of them did not consider his height a dealbreaker. ---
**Author:** ![Blackberry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecd19e/32.png) [@Blackberry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackberry)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2009, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-obese-vs-short-men/520984/27 "2009-12-13T04:26:10Z")
I could never, ever, ever, EVER be attracted to the obese guy in the picture. But I’ve dated a few guys who could definitely stand to lose a few pounds. The difference was they weren’t just flabby like that; they were muscular with a layer of fat over it. And man boobs… I do not like man boobs. Short doesn’t bother me if it’s not abnormally short. So I said 5’4. Anything below that is getting shorter than me and I can’t see that. BUT I did answer before I clicked on the picture of Mr. Pasty Flabby there. ---
**Author:** ![RiverLethe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/cdc98d/32.png) [@RiverLethe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RiverLethe)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2009, 7:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-obese-vs-short-men/520984/28 "2009-12-13T07:11:58Z")
I answered 5’8 but I’m ~4 inches taller than that. I’m not a shallow person, but I just find being with someone shorter makes me feel awkward and too big, if that makes sense. So, dating someone at 5’8 that is manly (ie: can literally sweep me off my feet) would be okay. Not sure if any other women feel the same? ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2009, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-obese-vs-short-men/520984/29 "2009-12-14T15:23:07Z")
I’ll tell you flat out I wouldn’t date a man shorter than me. I picked 5’8" which is the shortest man I’ve ever dated. I might be able to go a little shorter as I am 5’5" but I prefer him to still be taller when I wear heels. I need to be able to look up at him. Just the way it is. ---
**Author:** ![even\_sven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2009, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-obese-vs-short-men/520984/30 "2009-12-14T15:30:52Z")
I like guys my height (5’6) and could go an inch or two shorter without really minding. I do like my guys skinny though. ---
**Author:** ![rhubarbarin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eb9ed0/32.png) [@rhubarbarin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rhubarbarin)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2009, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-obese-vs-short-men/520984/31 "2009-12-14T15:36:07Z")
I’m not attracted to squishy men. I have nothing against short men. I said 5 feet, but I guess it would depend. Peter Dinklage isn’t much over 4’ I think and he’s an attractive guy. I do like men to be bigger than I, but at 100 lbs pretty much every man is by 20 lbs or more, even the really short ones. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2009, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-obese-vs-short-men/520984/32 "2009-12-14T15:45:41Z")
> [@Argent\_Towers](#): > > For the record, a lot of women seem to find Tony Soprano’s character attractive. I don’t mean on the show, I mean in real life. Even my girlfriend admitted he was sexy, albeit in an unconventional way. This is because James Gandolfini is about 6’2" and even though he is very overweight, he carries the weight well on his frame. On a tall guy like him, all that weight, especially if it’s well distributed, says “power.” His character on the show exudes power (which, in turn, generally means sexual attraction.) FTR, James Gandolfini is [6’ 1/2".](http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001254/bio) ---
**Author:** ![hellpaso](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ecae2f/32.png) [@hellpaso](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hellpaso)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2009, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-obese-vs-short-men/520984/33 "2009-12-14T17:40:39Z")
I’m 5’4" and don’t care at all about a man’s height. But obese–ugh–I just can’t stand fat. ---
**Author:** ![Kaio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/c68b51/32.png) [@Kaio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kaio)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2009, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-obese-vs-short-men/520984/34 "2009-12-14T18:47:23Z")
> [@RiverLethe](#): > > I answered 5’8 but I’m ~4 inches taller than that. I’m not a shallow person, but I just find being with someone shorter makes me feel awkward and too big, if that makes sense. So, dating someone at 5’8 that is manly (ie: can literally sweep me off my feet) would be okay. Not sure if any other women feel the same? I agree, and I think phrasing it in terms of relative height would probably be more edifying. If you ask about height preferences from a woman who is 5 ft. tall, you’ll probably get a significantly different answer (in terms of absolute numbers) than a woman who is 6 ft. tall. I’m fairly tall, and small men just make me feel like I’m going to crush them with my body weight during _ahem_ certain activities. My preference is for both of us to have relatively similar body mass, actually. From there, if one of us is _slightly_ smaller, no big deal. In absolute numbers, I dated someone who was 5’7" (two inches shorter than me) for a while, and it more or less worked out for what it was. It actually took me a while to realize that he was shorter than me, because of the way he carried himself (confident so he _seemed_ taller). That’s a deviation from the norm for me, however. (I’m also a freak and occasionally like to feel physically “overpowered” by someone I trust… he wouldn’t need to be _much_ bigger to achieve this – and there is such as thing as too big – but a little bit helps.) Obesity is a complete turn-off, btw, although an extra 20 pounds isn’t necessarily. ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2009, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-obese-vs-short-men/520984/35 "2009-12-15T03:56:53Z")
> [@Kaio](#): > > I agree, and I think phrasing it in terms of relative height would probably be more edifying. If you ask about height preferences from a woman who is 5 ft. tall, you’ll probably get a significantly different answer (in terms of absolute numbers) than a woman who is 6 ft. tall. Thinking of the short guy I mentioned above, the only girl I ever heard say anything like “He’s a cool guy, if only he were taller” about him was a girl who actually was 6’ tall. I got the impression that it wasn’t that she found short men unattractive per se, but that she felt getting involved with a much shorter man would make them both look like sideshow freaks or something. ---
**Author:** ![MyFootsZZZ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/myfootszzz/32/12580_2.png) [@MyFootsZZZ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MyFootsZZZ)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2009, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-obese-vs-short-men/520984/36 "2009-12-15T22:56:35Z")
I like being a little bigger in with since I’m not tall. I was skinny once, and nothing changed. It’s hard to do dating sites when most all the height requirements are above my height. Ladies, should I even waist my time with contacting said women?’ I know a few men that like big women, I know a few that like tall, short, round butt, no butt, big or flat chested. Anyone know a girl with a thing for guy shorter than them? I know of two who were both married. But it’s KIND of out there right? …Right? (5.5) ---
**Author:** ![sjc](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e5b9ba/32.png) [@sjc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sjc)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2009, 7:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-obese-vs-short-men/520984/37 "2009-12-16T07:55:46Z")
I’m a 5’4" guy and I am sad to hear some of you saying that’s too short for you. (Though of course that’s a perfectly valid thing to feel.) I find that I’m attracted to women of all heights; some shorter than me, some taller than me. On occasion I’m attracted to tall women _because_ they were tall (or at least as a major component of my initial attraction). I’ve also been attracted to shortness. I really think it has a lot to do with the specific person for me. ---
**Author:** ![Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hilarity_n.suze/32/6223_2.png) [@Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hilarity_N.Suze)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2009, 8:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-obese-vs-short-men/520984/38 "2009-12-16T08:50:23Z")
I like short men just fine. Big men, if they aren’t sloppy fat, also okay. Tis better to have loved a short man than never to have loved atall. ---
**Author:** ![MyFootsZZZ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/myfootszzz/32/12580_2.png) [@MyFootsZZZ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MyFootsZZZ)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2009, 1:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-obese-vs-short-men/520984/39 "2009-12-16T13:26:59Z")
Guess what IMHO thread!? I’m not going to let you bring me down! No pun intended! _Mimes a karate punch_ I may not be big, but if this thread took on a human form, I could kick it’s ass… I’ll get all ‘squirrely’ and stuff! _Mimes a karate kick_ This thread’s all talk, anyway. _SPIN MOVE!_ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-obese-vs-short-men/520984.md?page=1)