# Women only: have you figured out how to give a urine specimine at the doc's office without... **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 30, 2016, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-only-have-you-figured-out-how-to-give-a-urine-specimine-at-the-docs-office-without/764460 "2016-08-30T04:23:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2016, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-only-have-you-figured-out-how-to-give-a-urine-specimine-at-the-docs-office-without/764460/21 "2016-08-30T23:43:20Z")
Well, I got an email from the doc’s office. They want another sample. Something was wrong with that one. Probably my technique. Anyway, I’ll get a chance to try out this advice. Will report back. Try to go about your normal daily life until you hear from me. ---
**Author:** ![kayT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayt/32/3633_2.png) [@kayT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayT)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2016, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-only-have-you-figured-out-how-to-give-a-urine-specimine-at-the-docs-office-without/764460/22 "2016-08-30T23:55:41Z")
Good luck, **ThelmaLou** , I think my worst venture was when I was getting ready to have my knee replaced. Time was short. The doctor’s nurse said to me, “make sure you get a clean catch since if you have an infection we will have to reschedule.” Aaaai! My knee hurt all the time. I did NOT want to have to put this off because I got some germ from my hand in the pee. I was a nervous wreck! (I didn’t have to reschedule.) ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2016, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-only-have-you-figured-out-how-to-give-a-urine-specimine-at-the-docs-office-without/764460/23 "2016-08-31T00:08:28Z")
:smack: > [@cher3](#): > > After doing every few weeks for a couple of pregnancies the only advice I can offer is: It’s farther forward than you think. Yes. I discovered this the first time I had a job that did pre-employment drug testing, and haven’t peed on my hand since. ---
**Author:** ![Helena330](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/helena330/32/531_2.png) [@Helena330](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Helena330)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2016, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-only-have-you-figured-out-how-to-give-a-urine-specimine-at-the-docs-office-without/764460/24 "2016-08-31T00:21:44Z")
> [@ThelmaLou](#): > > Well, I got an email from the doc’s office. They want another sample. Something was wrong with that one. Probably my technique. Anyway, I’ll get a chance to try out this advice. Will report back. Try to go about your normal daily life until you hear from me. I don’t know. I’m having trouble focusing due to the anticipation of your report. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2016, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-only-have-you-figured-out-how-to-give-a-urine-specimine-at-the-docs-office-without/764460/25 "2016-08-31T00:29:46Z")
> [@Helena330](#): > > I don’t know. I’m having trouble focusing due to the anticipation of your report. > > 😃 Chocolate will help. Consider it medicinal. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![TSBG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/77aa72/32.png) [@TSBG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TSBG)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2016, 5:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-only-have-you-figured-out-how-to-give-a-urine-specimine-at-the-docs-office-without/764460/26 "2016-08-31T05:27:44Z")
I’m a man, but faced this problem when my daughter was maybe 4 and had to give a urine sample with my assistance. Something for parents would help too. \*\*Maggie, Helena, \*\* they tell men not to let the penis touch the cup because of the risk of contamination, and I have to assume that women are also not supposed to let skin touch the cup–all kinds of bacteria that could get in there. I mean it worked for you so maybe the risk is small. Just saying. ---
**Author:** ![Helena330](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/helena330/32/531_2.png) [@Helena330](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Helena330)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2016, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-only-have-you-figured-out-how-to-give-a-urine-specimine-at-the-docs-office-without/764460/27 "2016-08-31T17:33:51Z")
I was always given two alcohol wipes and directions how to use them. I was never aware of any problem. ---
**Author:** ![janis\_and\_c0](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/janis_and_c0/32/21_2.png) [@janis\_and\_c0](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/janis_and_c0)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2016, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-only-have-you-figured-out-how-to-give-a-urine-specimine-at-the-docs-office-without/764460/28 "2016-08-31T18:43:39Z")
I just tell whoever wants the sample. “Listen, you’re gonna have to give me a hat to pee in.” Problem solved. ---
**Author:** ![Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hilarity_n.suze/32/6223_2.png) [@Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hilarity_N.Suze)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2016, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-only-have-you-figured-out-how-to-give-a-urine-specimine-at-the-docs-office-without/764460/29 "2016-08-31T19:05:18Z")
> [@Helena330](#): > > I was always given two alcohol wipes and directions how to use them. I was never aware of any problem. _Alcohol_ wipes?:eek: ---
**Author:** ![mistymage](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mistymage/32/459_2.png) [@mistymage](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mistymage)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2016, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-only-have-you-figured-out-how-to-give-a-urine-specimine-at-the-docs-office-without/764460/30 "2016-08-31T20:20:44Z")
> [@Hilarity\_N.Suze](#): > > _Alcohol_ wipes?:eek: Yup. You use one to wipe one side from under the clitoris and labia minora (right side) and one to wipe the left labia minora and then a third to wipe the urinary opening. They don’t sting… much. I once did a clean catch and had the nurse make me do a new one because “you must have did it wrong it’s full of bacteria.” No, I hadn’t: I had an infectious kidney stone which is why I was at the office. She was like “Oh.” I’d rather do a clean catch vs the catheter way any day. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2016, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-only-have-you-figured-out-how-to-give-a-urine-specimine-at-the-docs-office-without/764460/31 "2016-08-31T20:49:41Z")
> [@ThelmaLou](#): > > Try to go about your normal daily life until you hear from me. Hee. The one time I had to give a sample, I started peeing and then quickly moved the cup up under the stream. I guess it “came out OK” because I didn’t have to redo it. ---
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2016, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-only-have-you-figured-out-how-to-give-a-urine-specimine-at-the-docs-office-without/764460/32 "2016-08-31T21:07:55Z")
> [@Hilarity\_N.Suze](#): > > _Alcohol_ wipes?:eek: They are in a sealed foil packet and LOOK like alcohol wipes, but they’re not alcohol. The ones they gave me today were clearly labeled [“castile soap.”](https://www.amazon.com/Castile-Soap-Towelettes-100-Each/dp/B00962ASO6/ref=pd_lpo_194_tr_t_2?ie=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=J15VZMP685GEDCDW4RFB) Okay, my update. TMI may follow. I got to the lab and spent an hour and a half trying to generate some pee. Just couldn’t do it. Broke the seal on at least three containers, but no pee. I drank tons of water and a whole bottle of tea-- no luck. To quote Liz Lemon of _30Rock_, “my junk just slammed shut.” Finally I produced about a teaspoon and turned it in, but the lab techs said it would probably not be enough, although they were extremely nice and sympathetic about it and didn’t make me feel bad at all. So I took another empty container to go, and finally experienced success later in the day. Keeping the words “it’s farther forward than you think” foremost in my mind, I did not lose or spill a drop! Thanks to all who contributed. ---
**Author:** ![TSBG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/77aa72/32.png) [@TSBG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TSBG)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2016, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-only-have-you-figured-out-how-to-give-a-urine-specimine-at-the-docs-office-without/764460/33 "2016-08-31T23:46:23Z")
Men are supposed to wipe with the wipes too, but still not touch the cup with their dispensing unit. Maybe a doctor can tell us whether this is belt and suspenders or whether there really is a chance of contaminating the sample. ---
**Author:** ![Procrustus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/procrustus/32/2994_2.png) [@Procrustus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Procrustus)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2016, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-only-have-you-figured-out-how-to-give-a-urine-specimine-at-the-docs-office-without/764460/34 "2016-08-31T23:58:39Z")
When my daughter was very little she had to give a urine sample. She was under three, but out of diapers. I (her father) had to go with her and teach her how to pee in the cup. (like I knew?) We survived. ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2016, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-only-have-you-figured-out-how-to-give-a-urine-specimine-at-the-docs-office-without/764460/35 "2016-09-01T00:17:39Z")
I recall reading an article or two on the subject of women emptying their bladders standing up. At least one woman claimed that she could merely unzip her jeans and pee without getting them the least bit wet. Apart from the proper pelvic angling, a key point was/is to pull out the inner labia, exposing the orifice to the air in order to produce a straight, reliable stream (which calls for clean fingers, to avoid a UTI). I suspect that once a woman does that two or three times, she gets a good idea of where it is going to be coming from. I get the impression that, using this method, a woman can produce a more reliable stream than a man can: most men have a pair of fleshy bits in the orifice that can cause the infamous split stream. ---
**Author:** ![congodwarf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e36b37/32.png) [@congodwarf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/congodwarf)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2016, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-only-have-you-figured-out-how-to-give-a-urine-specimine-at-the-docs-office-without/764460/36 "2016-09-01T02:15:25Z")
> [@Maggie\_the\_Ocelot](#): > > I just press the cup directly against the appropriate area, and let loose. Yes, this. Just clean the area first with the provided alcohol pad so you don’t contaminate the cup. Then, start to pee. Stop the stream. Place the cup. Finish peeing. I have never had a sample rejected, not even a clean catch. I have never peed on myself. I didn’t realize this was actually a problem for so many people. ---
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2016, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-only-have-you-figured-out-how-to-give-a-urine-specimine-at-the-docs-office-without/764460/37 "2016-09-01T02:32:52Z")
> [@congodwarf](#): > > Yes, this. Just clean the area first with the provided alcohol pad so you don’t contaminate the cup. Then, start to pee. Stop the stream. Place the cup. Finish peeing. > > … Yes, but they’re not alcohol wipes. > [@ThelmaLou](#): > > They are in a sealed foil packet and LOOK like alcohol wipes, but they’re not alcohol. The ones they gave me today were clearly labeled [“castile soap.”](https://www.amazon.com/Castile-Soap-Towelettes-100-Each/dp/B00962ASO6/ref=pd_lpo_194_tr_t_2?ie=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=J15VZMP685GEDCDW4RFB) ---
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2016, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-only-have-you-figured-out-how-to-give-a-urine-specimine-at-the-docs-office-without/764460/38 "2016-09-01T23:05:34Z")
Well, clearly I suck at giving urine specimens (sorry it’s spelled wrong in the thread title). Today the doc’s office called at 4:15 PM and said that the sample I gave yesterday was also contaminated. So I drove out there real quick to get there before they closed at 5 PM, and they took some pee using a catheter. Surprisingly, it didn’t hurt at all–felt a little weird. I’ve heard men say that being catheterized is very painful–maybe that’s because the catheter has farther to travel. Dunno. Unfortunately, this means the culture to determine what bacteria and therefore what antibiotic won’t be ready in time for me to get a prescription tomorrow. Monday is a holiday, so I won’t get an antibiotic prescription until TUESDAY. Fuckfuckfuckfuck. :mad: ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2016, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-only-have-you-figured-out-how-to-give-a-urine-specimine-at-the-docs-office-without/764460/39 "2016-09-01T23:44:34Z")
Maybe it was contaminated with whatever infection you need to fight. Good luck. I have lots of practice aiming, because I used to backpack, and peed into a small hole I dug in the woods. I used to be able to aim pretty easily. I tried last week, and had trouble with a split stream and, um, leaning to the right. Still, I don’t feel like it’s a big deal to get a little pee on my hand. Soap and water takes care of that. ---
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2016, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-only-have-you-figured-out-how-to-give-a-urine-specimine-at-the-docs-office-without/764460/40 "2016-09-01T23:51:29Z")
> [@puzzlegal](#): > > Maybe it was contaminated with whatever infection you need to fight. Good luck. > > … Thanks. That’s what I was thinking. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-only-have-you-figured-out-how-to-give-a-urine-specimine-at-the-docs-office-without/764460.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-only-have-you-figured-out-how-to-give-a-urine-specimine-at-the-docs-office-without/764460.md?page=3)