# Women (Or Men) -- Do You Smile At Strangers? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 25, 2011, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-or-men-do-you-smile-at-strangers/568855 "2011-01-25T00:29:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![SecondJudith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b5ac83/32.png) [@SecondJudith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SecondJudith)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2011, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-or-men-do-you-smile-at-strangers/568855/41 "2011-01-25T14:33:19Z")
> [@StaudtCJ](#): > > A point to consider is that it might have been the protective social smile. A lot of women have a smile they give to strangers so they won’t be harried about not smiling. It’s a defense mechanism for some women in some situations. Mine is mostly this. I have been criticised by strangers for my normal/blank expression being sullen or hostile (apparently “no expression” = “grumpy jerk”), so I’ve developed a kind of tic about smiling if I accidentally make eye contact with someone. This being London, though, that doesn’t happen very often (eye contact). ---
**Author:** ![Sateryn76](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@Sateryn76](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sateryn76)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2011, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-or-men-do-you-smile-at-strangers/568855/42 "2011-01-25T14:52:31Z")
Yes - I smile at strangers and often nod or exchange a quick howyadoin. I also initiate small talk if appropriate, and always talk and act pleasant to shop keepers and such, including please and thank yous. It just makes the world a little shinier, IMO. I know that when we pass in the street, and I give a small smile and you immediately look away with a sour face, I think you’re an asshole. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2011, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-or-men-do-you-smile-at-strangers/568855/43 "2011-01-25T15:13:40Z")
All the time. And I immediately have a little bit of distrust for people who can’t be arsed to do at least this…in my community. I don’t expect people to smile at me in NYC, for example, but in my town, it’s just polite. And I hate service people who don’t make eye contact and don’t at least smile. It’s 2 minutes out of your time, and I’ve done your job, and always managed to remain cheerful and happy. ---
**Author:** ![Lanzy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/74df32/32.png) [@Lanzy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lanzy)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2011, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-or-men-do-you-smile-at-strangers/568855/44 "2011-01-25T15:31:25Z")
Never. It only encourages them to talk to you. ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2011, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-or-men-do-you-smile-at-strangers/568855/45 "2011-01-25T15:34:37Z")
I smile at strangers all the time. It costs me nothing and adds a little joy in their lives (maybe). Most smile back, some are surprised that I even noticed their existence in a positive manner. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2011, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-or-men-do-you-smile-at-strangers/568855/46 "2011-01-25T15:36:10Z")
male. I smile. It costs me nothing & it might make someone’s day. > [@Sateryn76](#): > > I know that when we pass in the street, and I give a small smile and you immediately look away with a sour face, I think you’re an asshole. With some people thats right, but there are a few painfully shy people too. Just sayin’. ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2011, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-or-men-do-you-smile-at-strangers/568855/47 "2011-01-25T15:40:46Z")
> [@elfkin477](#): > > It depends on the culture where you live, though. If everyone smiles at strangers, it might not mean anything, but otherwise, yeah, she probably thinks you’re cute. You know, I wish somebody could’ve told me this when I WAS EIGHTEEN!!!@@#!!#!! Er… a-hem! Sorry 'bout the outburst. 🙂 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Chopper9760](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/cdc98d/32.png) [@Chopper9760](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chopper9760)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2011, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-or-men-do-you-smile-at-strangers/568855/48 "2011-01-25T16:47:01Z")
Smile, nod, maybe say howdy. Why not? It’s nice to be nice. ---
**Author:** ![Surly\_Chick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ec9cab/32.png) [@Surly\_Chick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Surly_Chick)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2011, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-or-men-do-you-smile-at-strangers/568855/49 "2011-01-25T18:41:05Z")
Usually. I live in NE and everyone is just so darn nice here that if I don’t, I feel like a grumposaurus. That said, I never smile at anyone in the airport because I _am_ a grumposaurus whenever I’m thre. ---
**Author:** ![lezlers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/258eb7/32.png) [@lezlers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lezlers)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2011, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-or-men-do-you-smile-at-strangers/568855/50 "2011-01-25T18:46:50Z")
I always smile at anyone I make eye contact with, it’s automatic. Hell, sometimes I’ll make eye contact and smile at someone before I realize that I, in fact, actually dislike that person. Damn reflexes. ---
**Author:** ![ZPG\_Zealot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e47c2d/32.png) [@ZPG\_Zealot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZPG_Zealot)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2011, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-or-men-do-you-smile-at-strangers/568855/51 "2011-01-25T19:00:30Z")
I smile at people I’m planning to cheat, con, or otherwise do ill to. I find it makes them easier targets. ---
**Author:** ![llcoolbj77](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/eb9ed0/32.png) [@llcoolbj77](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/llcoolbj77)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2011, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-or-men-do-you-smile-at-strangers/568855/52 "2011-01-25T19:18:33Z")
Female. Northern Virginia. I smile at everyone… and even say hi, to most stangers. I make a notable effort to walk with my eyes up and back straight. As such, I do make eye contact with most folks as I go. So a smile and a nod just seems right to me. > [@ZPG\_Zealot](#): > > I smile at people I’m planning to cheat, con, or otherwise do ill to. I find it makes them easier targets. Smile rapist. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2011, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-or-men-do-you-smile-at-strangers/568855/53 "2011-01-25T19:23:38Z")
Male, and I smile at people when I make eye contact. I usually will throw out a “Good morning”, “Good afternoon” or “Good Evening” too. ---
**Author:** ![geneb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a88e4f/32.png) [@geneb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/geneb)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2011, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-or-men-do-you-smile-at-strangers/568855/54 "2011-01-25T19:37:22Z")
Male, Southwestern Virginia. I nod and greet anyone I make eye contact with. Sometimes I smile, but I don’t do it on purpose. If I don’t speak I will always smile during the nod, though. ---
**Author:** ![Lacunae\_Matata](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@Lacunae\_Matata](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lacunae_Matata)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2011, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-or-men-do-you-smile-at-strangers/568855/55 "2011-01-25T23:36:29Z")
Female, Southern, lives in a small town, works in the hospitality industry: You may not be surprised that I smile at everyone, often greet total strangers, and make small talk with random people (in line at the grocery store, in waiting rooms, etc.) ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2011, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-or-men-do-you-smile-at-strangers/568855/56 "2011-01-26T01:55:02Z")
> [@ZPG\_Zealot](#): > > I smile at people I’m planning to cheat, con, or otherwise do ill to. I find it makes them easier targets. This is a joke, right? I honestly can’t tell considering your ummm… prior history. * * * As a general rule I make brief eye contact and smile at strangers. I feel it’s the polite thing to do. I’ve always done it, and many people smile back. If my presence is acknowledged in any fashion, I’ll typically follow up with a small head-nod. Maybe it weirds some people out, but I think most people appreciate it. Of course, now i live in Japan, so it complicates things even more. Greetings are considered very polite here (in fact passing somebody without any greeting is very rude, although common.) Still, eye contact and smiling are not really part of that social requirement. I still do it though. If I was Japanese it would probably be off-putting, but as a big foreigner most people seem to like it. ---
**Author:** ![Ibanez](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a4c791/32.png) [@Ibanez](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ibanez)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2011, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-or-men-do-you-smile-at-strangers/568855/57 "2011-01-26T02:00:44Z")
Being a white male in a big city smiling at strangers would just get me in trouble, so no. ---
**Author:** ![Cub\_Mistress](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ea666f/32.png) [@Cub\_Mistress](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cub_Mistress)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2011, 12:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-or-men-do-you-smile-at-strangers/568855/58 "2011-01-26T12:46:59Z")
> [@Lacunae\_Matata](#): > > Female, Southern, lives in a small town, works in the hospitality industry: You may not be surprised that I smile at everyone, often greet total strangers, and make small talk with random people (in line at the grocery store, in waiting rooms, etc.) Change “hospitality” to “nursing,” and you’d have my post. I even wave to people in cars. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-or-men-do-you-smile-at-strangers/568855.md?page=2)