# Women (over)react to catcalling **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 20, 2009, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-over-react-to-catcalling/507120 "2009-08-20T20:36:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 10
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2009, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-over-react-to-catcalling/507120/181 "2009-08-21T20:05:12Z")
Am I the only one who has never been followed? In that case, I’d probably call it serious harassment, but it’s never happened to me (thank god!) (I don’t think I’d beat the guy up, or assume ALL catcallers are like this, though) ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2009, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-over-react-to-catcalling/507120/182 "2009-08-21T20:17:17Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > But there is some reason you’re getting more unwanted attention than other women are. I don’t think this is true. Yes, some people get bothered more than others, and I may be one of those women. But I don’t think I’m describing any bizarre phenomenon that only happens to me. Some people in this thread have been subjected to and/or have witnessed such behavior. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2009, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-over-react-to-catcalling/507120/183 "2009-08-21T20:23:20Z")
> [@Vihaga](#): > > I’ve been walking down the street several times when a random guy has come up to me and told me that I should smile, like it’s any of his goddamned business what look I have on my face. Story of my life until I moved up here. City life was stressful and it was all I could do to survive–fuck off with the “Smile!” shit. Up here it’s not that I’m happier, it’s that I’ll see all these people again somewhere around town so I better look vaguely friendly. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2009, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-over-react-to-catcalling/507120/184 "2009-08-21T20:23:29Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > I don’t think this is true. Yes, some people get bothered more than others, and I may be one of those women. But I don’t think I’m describing any bizarre phenomenon that only happens to me. Some people in this thread have been subjected to and/or have witnessed such behavior. I didn’t mean to say that you are the single most harassed woman in the world. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2009, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-over-react-to-catcalling/507120/185 "2009-08-21T20:29:03Z")
Hey, it may be more unwanted attention for me because I \*don’t like \*when people holler at me. Some people, like Freudian, seem to think it’s “nice.” ---
**Author:** ![Vihaga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Vihaga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vihaga)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2009, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-over-react-to-catcalling/507120/186 "2009-08-21T20:31:53Z")
> [@billfish678](#): > > And all these guys are looking to fondle and bugger your chillins and household pets as well. :rolleyes: You don’t think it’s bullying to scream obscenities at someone obviously weaker than you? What would you call it? Also, what would you do if a random person, huge and unattractive to you, came up to you on an empty street and started telling you all the ways they wanted to fuck you? Would you find it fun? Flattering? ---
**Author:** ![Ann\_Hedonia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ann_hedonia/32/319_2.png) [@Ann\_Hedonia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ann_Hedonia)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2009, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-over-react-to-catcalling/507120/187 "2009-08-21T20:34:54Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > Actually I remember walking down the street one weekend night and some guys calling out something to me and I stopped and started talking to them and went with them to some bar where they bought me a couple of drinks. Not the smartest thing in the world, but I suppose there’s always that one in a million. > > I’m not sure if that counts as a catcall, though. There was also another time when some guy stopped me (outside a bar) and I ended up drinking with him and his friend. Sometimes I get the feeling that in actions, I’m the kind of woman that other feminists really despise… Once my best friend and I got catcalled when we were moving a bunch of stuff into her apartment, I was sort of annoyed mostly because her Mom was with us. So I handed the guys boxes and made them move all the heavy stuff for us…they did, too. And I just wanted to add that I used to inspire lots of catcalls and sometimes I minded and sometimes I didn’t…a lot of it was in the tone. Also while the catcallers were mostly men they weren’t all men… ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2009, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-over-react-to-catcalling/507120/188 "2009-08-21T20:39:24Z")
Is **MeanOldLady** actually hot? Since we’re in a catcalling thread, I won’t ask for photos… but inquiring minds want to know. ---
**Author:** ![mswas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e99b99/32.png) [@mswas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mswas)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2009, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-over-react-to-catcalling/507120/189 "2009-08-21T20:39:55Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > There is a whole Chris Rock sketch about White girls getting catcalled by Black dudes and think “I mut need to lose some weight”. Yeah, I’ve heard white women worry that they were fat because black men dug them. ---
**Author:** ![corkboard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@corkboard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/corkboard)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2009, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-over-react-to-catcalling/507120/190 "2009-08-21T20:41:11Z")
> [@Cat\_Fight](#): > > I’m glad this got moved to the Pit so I can tell you to shut the fuck up you ignorant dick. If you’re under the impression that this sort of behavior is confined to strip clubs you are delusional. > > ETA I find it interesting, upon re-reading the thread, how many chestnuts are being thrown out, from ‘Don’t get so worked up’ to ‘You should be flattered’ to ‘You’re probably too ugly to get harassed, anyway.’ Lord. Wow. I guess you missed it so I’ll explain- it was intended as a humorous way of saying I find it amazing that there’s a place where mean old ladies get sexually harrassed all day, every day. Of all the women I’ve known, including friends, girlfriends, sisters, other female relatives, co-workers, fellow students, etc., I know none of them have been harrassed anywhere near as frequently as MOL claims. So where could such a place be where men can ogle and drool over women and basically act like neanderthals? A strip club, I guess. So settle down, sugartits. I know it’s not confined to strip clubs. I know it can, and does, happen anywhere. I wouldn’t have thought it could happen constantly from morning to night as a woman goes through her day, every day, to the point where she would find it justifiable to beat a guy to a bloody pulp for a wolf whistle, but if you say so, I guess it happens. It’s just completely contrary to the experience of every female acquaintance, but whatever you say. It was a joke, so ha ha. Get a fucking sense of humor. ---
**Author:** ![mswas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e99b99/32.png) [@mswas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mswas)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2009, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-over-react-to-catcalling/507120/191 "2009-08-21T20:41:49Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > Is **MeanOldLady** actually hot? Well she talks about this issue in a lot of threads, so it must be something that happens to her often. Just something about the way she talks about her appearance tells me she probably is or maybe she’s able to carry herself as though she is, which is what makes people sexy to begin with and maybe that’s why she gets hit on all the time. Anyway from her posting I would guess that it’s likely. I’ve guessed intimate details about people based on their posting style before so I put some stock in my intuition but you need not. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2009, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-over-react-to-catcalling/507120/192 "2009-08-21T20:42:20Z")
> [@Vihaga](#): > > You don’t think it’s bullying to scream obscenities at someone obviously weaker than you? What would you call it? > Also, what would you do if a random person, huge and unattractive to you, came up to you on an empty street and started telling you all the ways they wanted to fuck you? Would you find it fun? Flattering? There’s cat calling and cat calling. And most men other than myself are both bigger than me and way more loaded with testosterone than I’ve ever had to deal with so to speak. I dont assume they are all out to beat the shit out of me. I’ve had guys I thought were gonna give me a pounding. No, I didnt like it. But by the same token, I don’t freak out every time some burly biker dude gives me a momentary evil eye either. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2009, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-over-react-to-catcalling/507120/193 "2009-08-21T20:50:47Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > Is **MeanOldLady** actually hot? No. Certain people seem to think my posts in this thread are saying that every time I put one foot out of my front door, whole armies of men clamor to the point that I can’t even move one inch without having to shove someone out of my face. What I am actually saying is that women -myself included, friends and siblings included, complete strangers who I’ve witness on the street included- are harassed, followed and demeaned by men in public, and it happens often enough that we’re beyond being merely tired of it all, and at times find ourselves mad as hell about it. Also, hotness has nothing to do with it. Men who harass women on the street are dingleberries, and I’m pretty sure they harass all kinds of women with varying levels of physical attractiveness. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2009, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-over-react-to-catcalling/507120/194 "2009-08-21T21:07:16Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > Also, hotness has nothing to do with it. Men who harass women on the street are dingleberries, and I’m pretty sure they harass all kinds of women with varying levels of physical attractiveness. Quite possibly. To be perfectly honest, I can’t remember ever having catcalled anyone before, except out of the sunroof of a limo when I was wasted\*, so I don’t really understand the psyche of the male catcaller any better than you do. \*wasted enough that the victim could quite easily have been a bearded man in a kilt. ---
**Author:** ![Vihaga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Vihaga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vihaga)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2009, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-over-react-to-catcalling/507120/195 "2009-08-21T21:10:15Z")
> [@billfish678](#): > > There’s cat calling and cat calling. > > And most men other than myself are both bigger than me and way more loaded with testosterone than I’ve ever had to deal with so to speak. I dont assume they are all out to beat the shit out of me. > > I’ve had guys I thought were gonna give me a pounding. No, I didnt like it. But by the same token, I don’t freak out every time some burly biker dude gives me a momentary evil eye either. You didn’t answer my question. What would you do? How would you feel? ---
**Author:** ![buttonjockey308](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bcef8e/32.png) [@buttonjockey308](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buttonjockey308)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2009, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-over-react-to-catcalling/507120/196 "2009-08-21T21:12:29Z")
There’s a line not to be crossed regarding free speech. “Hey baby” or a wolf whistle doesn’t cross that line. “I’m gonna fuck you good” does. However reacting to either in a case where the blokes are on a crowded street or high up on a construction site or whatever and unable (and unwilling) to actually accost you, gives them the power over you, the extended middle finger means “ha! she took the bait, I’ll do THAT again, it amused me”. Of course, if it’s midnight on a dark street and a carful of blokes is stalking you saying the same things, it’s a completely different matter, then it’s intimidation, which requires a completely different reaction. Generally though it’s innocent free speech, in the case of my 2nd example, it isn’t, but a reaction of any kind in the first situation tells the men what they’re doing? Works. ---
**Author:** ![mswas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e99b99/32.png) [@mswas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mswas)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2009, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-over-react-to-catcalling/507120/197 "2009-08-21T21:14:52Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > No. > > Certain people seem to think my posts in this thread are saying that every time I put one foot out of my front door, whole armies of men clamor to the point that I can’t even move one inch without having to shove someone out of my face. What I am actually saying is that women -myself included, friends and siblings included, complete strangers who I’ve witness on the street included- are harassed, followed and demeaned by men in public, and it happens often enough that we’re beyond being merely tired of it all, and at times find ourselves mad as hell about it. > > Also, hotness has nothing to do with it. Men who harass women on the street are dingleberries, and I’m pretty sure they harass all kinds of women with varying levels of physical attractiveness. But if something has been made clear it’s that you get harassed more than most women do. So it’s curious as to why certain women get singled out. My wife is a pretty lady and she doesn’t get harassed like you describe. Her 1/5th referred to that ugly hissing noise the Dominicans make, not to being followed around. I do know what you are talking about though because different women get hit on in the street at different ratios. I’ve seen it with women I’ve dated. My ex-wife it happened the most, my current wife it happens the least. A girlfriend I had who was basically a nymphomaniac, and I thought she was hot but wouldn’t call her a hottie generally got it a lot too, but she was more like **Freudian Slit** about it than like you. My ex-wife was vain enough that she probably would have freaked out and gotten depressed if one week it just had stopped. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Fight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/90ced4/32.png) [@Cat\_Fight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Fight)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2009, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-over-react-to-catcalling/507120/198 "2009-08-21T21:19:03Z")
> [@corkboard](#): > > I know it’s not confined to strip clubs. I know it can, and does, happen anywhere. I wouldn’t have thought it could happen constantly from morning to night as a woman goes through her day, every day, to the point where she would find it justifiable to beat a guy to a bloody pulp for a wolf whistle, but if you say so, I guess it happens. It’s just completely contrary to the experience of every female acquaintance, but whatever you say. How often does it need to happen before it becomes a problem? Appropriately enough, I just got back from a stroll with my dog. I got two ‘whisperers’ (one 20-something black guy just saying hiiwanttomeetyou in a breathy voice – annoying but whenever – and one very preppy older white man complimenting my tits as if I’d asked him). I also watched as a 40-something white woman with a baby fought with a black teenage boy who’d clearly just said something sexual to her. He kept saying ‘I was talking about your baby! You’re ugly! No one would ever want to fuck you’ while his friends smirked. She challenged him to come to the other side of the fence and talk to her. ‘So you can hit me?’ ‘Yes!’ She ended up walking off. I looked around for some cops but found none. Not sure what they even would have (could have) done. Anyway, while I do think street harassers are more blatant and brazen when it comes to ethnic minorities, this was a teen (or a group of teens) and an older mother, black and white. And yet the power still seemed to rest with him. You might ask how much power rests in the ability to yell slurs, but clearly he’d bothered her. Anyway, I’ve seen worse and been on the receiving end of worse, but it was a lovely coincidence. Oh, and she was no supermodel. So maybe I made her up. ---
**Author:** ![pbbth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f9ae1b/32.png) [@pbbth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pbbth)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2009, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-over-react-to-catcalling/507120/199 "2009-08-21T21:25:16Z")
I get catcalled on a somewhat frequent basis. A few times a month probably (and followed down the street by some asshole 3 or 4 times a year) unless I take Creepy-Old-Guy into account. Then I get catcalled and harrassed every single day. He is about 70 and sits in a chair outside his apartment and yells things at me in spanish when I’m on my way home from work. After about 3 days I looked up what agarraderas meant and now I just want to punch the creepy old guy in the face. I won’t though because he is not of any danger to me, but the fact that he does this with a dozen young men around and basically leads them to believe by his example that this is okay behavior makes me feel like he could use a punching. ---
**Author:** ![mswas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e99b99/32.png) [@mswas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mswas)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2009, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-over-react-to-catcalling/507120/200 "2009-08-21T21:29:18Z")
> [@Cat\_Fight](#): > > Anyway, I’ve seen worse and been on the receiving end of worse, but it was a lovely coincidence. Oh, and she was no supermodel. So maybe I made her up. Again, no one is denying that it happens all the time. We’re curious about the frequency with which it occurs to individual women. I think with **MeanOldLady** it’s a combo of her getting it more often and her caring more. Let me take a poll of women in this thread. 1. How often do you get any kind of catcall? 2. How often does that catcall include profanity? 3. How often does it result in confrontation/stalking? Lets make the timeframe a month. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-over-react-to-catcalling/507120.md?page=9) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-over-react-to-catcalling/507120.md?page=11)