# Women (over)react to catcalling **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 20, 2009, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-over-react-to-catcalling/507120 "2009-08-20T20:36:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 15
**Author:** ![Ichini\_Sanshigo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/d9b06d/32.png) [@Ichini\_Sanshigo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ichini_Sanshigo)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2009, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-over-react-to-catcalling/507120/281 "2009-08-24T14:37:47Z")
> [@Tabby\_Cat](#): > > Chemical castration juju in the water system. Hell, in the world’s water supply. > It’s the only way to be sure. Oh, don’t say that. Then the guys will start in on how offensive such talk of things like “testosterone poisoning” is. Not all men are assholes you know. But when they are assholes, it’s really the woman’s fault. If women weren’t so… um… something, then guys wouldn’t feel the irresistable compulsion to catcall. ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2009, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-over-react-to-catcalling/507120/282 "2009-08-24T14:38:35Z")
> [@WILLASS](#): > > I’m merely saying that if you experience this on a daily level then I can understand why you are so rabidly angry about it. The one time I got physically, sexually assaulted (not to mention the few times I’ve been catcalled by drunk women) has really made me quite angry. You go girl! The ugly fact is, because you are a man and they were women, your safety wasn’t threatened in the way many women are when catcallers won’t leave them the fuck alone. ---
**Author:** ![tumbleddown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e9bcb4/32.png) [@tumbleddown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tumbleddown)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2009, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-over-react-to-catcalling/507120/283 "2009-08-24T14:41:07Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > Am I speaking Chinese here? Am I really being this misunderstood? Ouch. What I’m saying is try different stuff out and see if something works better. This still giving all the power to the harassing assholes. It still puts the onus on women to change their behavior and go about their lives differently because these men are incapable of being decent members of society. We’re not talking about whether or not people should lock their doors, or women in first floor apartments should sleep with their windows open, we’re talking about doing things like walking down the street, waiting for public transit, eating lunch in a restaurant. In other words: living life. Yesterday, an acquaintance had some man sitting behind her whispering filthy things at her while she was on a packed commuter train. When she didn’t respond, he reached out and started petting her neck, _reaching down into the back of her blouse to touch her skin_. She turned around in her seat and yelled “Why are you touching me? You don’t have any right to put your hands on me!” And the rest of the trip _she_ was the one getting the stinkeye, and felt threatened enough that she had 911 predialed on her cell phone just in case something happened as she walked through the parking lot when she got off at the station. On a standing room only car, not a single person came to her defense, offered to trade seats with her (or even trade her for standing room) or told the creepy molesting fuckwit (who was by all appearances a businessman, in a “nice” suit and tie) to keep his damned hands to himself. But by all means, I’m sure she should’ve just done something different when he starting whispering at her about the private parts of her body that he wanted to touch. ---
**Author:** ![Ichini\_Sanshigo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/d9b06d/32.png) [@Ichini\_Sanshigo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ichini_Sanshigo)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2009, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-over-react-to-catcalling/507120/284 "2009-08-24T14:47:25Z")
> [@Lord\_Ashtar](#): > > Because, as you said in that very post… > > This is absolutely correct. You can not control what anyone else does. You only have the power to change yourself. If you’re getting a reaction from people that you don’t want you have to do something about it, because if you wait for other people to change to suit you, you’re going to be waiting a very long time. If that means that you have to walk a different way to work, dress differently, or wear a different expression on your face, then that’s what you have to do. > > I’m not saying it’s fair, nor am I saying that what the cat callers are doing is okay. I’m saying it is what it is. Are we talking past each other, or what? I’m saying that these things you listed don’t make much of a difference. I’ve been harassed while jogging, I’ve been harassed in jeans and a T-shirt, I’ve been harassed dressed to go out with friends, I’ve been harassed _coming home from fucking work in a fucking suit_. This happens to women of all shapes, heights, and ethnicities. Aside from the question of why I should change my life around to accomodate someone else’s apparent lack of social skills, there’s the issue that it doesn’t work. Nothing I do will change the fact that some people are assholes. Yeah it’s one of things you have no choice but to live with. But that doesn’t mean I can’t complain about it. And it doesn’t mean that I wouldn’t have felt a small twinge of satisfaction if those ladies had grabbed the right jerk. ---
**Author:** ![WILLASS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/54ee81/32.png) [@WILLASS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WILLASS)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2009, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-over-react-to-catcalling/507120/285 "2009-08-24T15:08:37Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > And most importantly, since you seem to be clueless, read this and let it marinate. Sit down, grab a tumbler of good, aged rum (none of that Bacardi business), and then read this again: So how about if I get abuse from other males, from anyone? Which I might add I have? To be honest I probably didn’t realise the extent this seems to happen in America as it definitely doesn’t happen that often in England - it _does_ happen but not enough for the 8 or 9 woman (and my wife I just IM’d) to be anywhere near as vitriolic about it as you seem to be and in fact most of them said that unless they were being actually abused verbally (as opposed to just whistled at) they would probably smile and take it as a compliment. My point is that whether you are getting catcalls/verbal abuse from _anyone_ you shouldn’t attack them. This whole thread started because three woman (admittedly from Grimsby) battered some poor guy for no reason which I think is all the justification you need to demonstrate why you should only employ violence as a last resort. ---
**Author:** ![kidchameleon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/898d66/32.png) [@kidchameleon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kidchameleon)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2009, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-over-react-to-catcalling/507120/286 "2009-08-24T15:32:32Z")
> [@marshmallow](#): > > As for the general problem of women being harassed I think an excellent solution is violence. That’s all men understand. Or at the least the type of men who like to follow women and talk about how they can “smell their cunts.” Mace isn’t enough, but a knife to the throat might be. If this becomes a common thing it may actually stop, unless men are even more fucked up than I think. Fighting ignorance indeed. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2009, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-over-react-to-catcalling/507120/287 "2009-08-24T15:45:29Z")
> [@WILLASS](#): > > So how about if I get abuse from other males, from anyone? Which I might add I have? To be honest I probably didn’t realise the extent this seems to happen in America as it definitely doesn’t happen that often in England - it _does_ happen but not enough for the 8 or 9 woman (and my wife I just IM’d) to be anywhere near as vitriolic about it as you seem to be and in fact most of them said that unless they were being actually abused verbally (as opposed to just whistled at) they would probably smile and take it as a compliment. > > My point is that whether you are getting catcalls/verbal abuse from _anyone_ you shouldn’t attack them. This whole thread started because three woman (admittedly from Grimsby) battered some poor guy for no reason which I think is all the justification you need to demonstrate why you should only employ violence as a last resort. Look, I’ve never beat up anyone who’s yelled at me on the street\*, but a lot of men would respond to the kind of shit women get on a regular basis with physical violence. If a Guy A followed Guy B for a block and called him a “stuck up bitch,” I don’t have a lot of doubt that Guy A would get his ass kicked. And I wouldn’t boohoo for Guy A either. This is not to say that physical retaliation should be the response to harassing or threatening words, but it is to say that this is purely sexist bullying because a man wouldn’t do this to another man for fear of a righteous ass-kicking. In most cases, the woman can’t beat the crap out of the guy who is harassing her, even if she wanted to. I once had a guy threaten to have his dog attack me if I didn’t speak to him. :eek: So we just have to stand there, and let it happen. Ignoring them doesn’t work, flipping the bird doesn’t work, politely asking to be left alone doesn’t work. So clearly, this it pisses me off. And even though the OP doesn’t describe what we’re talking about here, as the conversation has digressed quite a bit, I would be a liar if I said I wouldn’t grin uncontrollably if I read a story about a woman beating up a guy who followed her and harassed her, and the like. I would get one hell of a vicarious thrill. So… Can someone answer the goddamned question already. With what frequency does a woman have to be followed, screamed at, name-called, catcalled, demeaned, whistled at, screamed at from car windows, generally harassed in public by strange men while simply living life before it’s okay for her to be \*fucking pissed \*about it? \*After experiencing about an hour of super-ultra-harassment in a bar, a guy decided he hadn’t demeaned me quite thoroughly enough, so he grabbed my ass. I grabbed a whiskey tumbler, and smashed it into his face. I’m not sure if he would have hit me back or not, because someone jumped in between us. But this was not in response to mere words, I had been physically accosted. ---
**Author:** ![WILLASS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/54ee81/32.png) [@WILLASS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WILLASS)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2009, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-over-react-to-catcalling/507120/288 "2009-08-24T15:54:40Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > With what frequency does a woman have to be followed, screamed at, name-called, catcalled, demeaned, whistled at, screamed at from car windows, generally demeaned in public by strange men while simply living life before it’s okay for her to be \*fucking pissed \*about it? Easy. Once. Happy? What I am saying is that ‘being pissed’ and advocating violence are totally different. You think that I’ve had the option of kicking the asses of every man that has hassled me or given me shit? That even if I could that I should? I have been angry _every_ time I have been helpless in battering three shades of shit out of people giving me grief - which has happened more to me than it has to my wife, I’ve lived in far rougher neighbourhoods you see. To be honest the more I think about it the more parallels I see with catcalling. You say woman don’t talk about it because it’s embarassing - how about the guys who’ve been hassled/threatened by other guys and have been unable to respond either through being outnumbered, scared or simply not being the violent type? I’ve always thought how much I’d like to have kicked their ass(es) but I’m glad I didn’t just in case I wound up paralysing some innocent party. Basically my point is get angry, defend yourself if attacked etc. but don’t advocate vigilantism because sometimes this happens. ---
**Author:** ![DianaG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2009, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-over-react-to-catcalling/507120/289 "2009-08-24T16:33:16Z")
This is seriously, well… weird. I’m 38 years old, I’ve lived my entire life in urban and just-barely-suburban areas, and yeah, sometimes people yell inappropriate things, but what the hell is this crazed escalating anger and following thing that ya’ll are on about? I’m not saying it never happens, it clearly HAS happened to some of you, but I’m a little skeptical about the frequency. I don’t drive. I walk or take public transportation _everywhere_, at all times of day and night, and I only recall feeling actually \*threatened \*once, by a guy who was \*clearly \*Teh Crazy. Maybe I’m just peculiarly secure, but my experience is that most people aren’t crazy, or violent, or going to give you all that hard a time in public. Don’t get me wrong, anyone who actually \*touches \*you should be hit with all the howling and violence you can muster. But \*saying \*stuff isn’t assault, and words have only the power you assign to them. Guys yell stuff. It happens. I’m not saying it’s okay, but it seems to me that what actually tilts the balance of power is allowing them to make you feel bad. Fuck that. Honestly, I’d suggest that if you’re frequently harrassed, you’re not exuding sexuality so much as fear. When a guy yells something at me, I ignore him or tell him to get lost as appropriate, and then I forget it and continue along with my day. I’ve never had one flip out on me. I get the occasional “Bitch” tossed at my back, but they stay put. If the sort of behavior detailed in this thread is really as common as suggested, then why do they do that? I’m guessing it’s because I’m not giving them the intimidated reaction they’re going for. I’m not flinching, I’m not cowering, I’m not even adjusting my gait. I’m no fun. ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2009, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-over-react-to-catcalling/507120/290 "2009-08-24T16:44:04Z")
DianaG! 🙂 It seems like forever since I saw your name. Nice post as well. Lib ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2009, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-over-react-to-catcalling/507120/291 "2009-08-24T16:54:19Z")
> [@billfish678](#): > > Being from the south, that sounds perfectly fine to me. Why should your default expression be a “I got a small cactus up my ass and I’ll cut you if you bother me”. My default expression was not a scowl–it was simply expressionless. But apparently that wasn’t good enough for some people–I needed to have an expression that was pleasing to them. If you saw a man on the street who was not smiling, would you tell him to smile, because he’d look much more handsome? I sincerely doubt it. > [@Vihaga](#): > > The problem is, what are we supposed to do? Call the cops because someone yelled at you? Most guys I know admit that there would be a physical confrontation if someone approached them that way, but I don’t have that option. I’m not sure exactly how women are going to “take the power back” in this situation, when there’s no legal or physical recourse. This is exactly my point. Either you tolerate the abuse, or you escalate it to physical violence. The former is unfair, and the latter is an overreaction. There is no middle ground, and there needs to be. > [@CrazyCatLady](#): > > What the “no big deal” crowd doesn’t seem to get is it’s not the whistles or the comments or the crotch-grabbing themselves that are scary. What’s scary is that you’re dealing with someone who obviously is ignorant or dismissive of certain social norms, and _you don’t know how deep that goes._ This can’t be emphasized enough. > [@JoseArcadio](#): > > For the ladies in the thread who are sick of being catcalled - do any of you listen to some kind of music player when you go out? I often do, on my way home. I still occasionally hear/see people hollering at me through the music, though. > [@CrazyCatLady](#): > > Nobody would tell a black person they should smile all the time, or walk a certain way, or wear earphones or dress a certain way or change their behavior in any way at all to avoid some asshole yelling “nigger” at them. Maybe I can work up a nice shuffle-step routine I can use to defuse the situation the next time I get catcalled. Then I can finish by winking and asking if massa’ enjoyed the show. > [@DianaG](#): > > But \*saying \*stuff isn’t assault, and words have only the power you assign to them. NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER FUCKING FAG KIKE CAN’T TOUCH ME THEY’RE JUST WORDS ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2009, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-over-react-to-catcalling/507120/292 "2009-08-24T17:08:33Z")
> [@WILLASS](#): > > Easy. Once. Happy? Heh, and we’re overreacting? As much as this chaps my hide, I can’t say I was this upset the first time I noticed this. It didn’t take long, though, before I was like, “Jesus Hussein Kee-rist, is it illegal for women do go outside alone without being yelled at and/or followed?” > [@](#): > > You say woman don’t talk about it because it’s embarassing - how about the guys who’ve been hassled/threatened by other guys and have been unable to respond either through being outnumbered, scared or simply not being the violent type? I’ve always thought how much I’d like to have kicked their ass(es) but I’m glad I didn’t just in case I wound up paralysing some innocent party. Well then don’t say we’re crazy if we’d take a bit of pleasure in an asshole, who bullies a random woman for simply being outside, getting what’s his. We’re not talking about the post in the OP. Those stupid drunks went full-on gangsta on someone for whistling, and didn’t even get the right guy. But sometimes people get angry, and these people wouldn’t mind if the source of their anger were smacked around a few times. Sue me. > [@DianaG](#): > > This is seriously, well… weird. I’m 38 years old, I’ve lived my entire life in urban and just-barely-suburban areas, and yeah, sometimes people yell inappropriate things, but what the hell is this crazed escalating anger and following thing that ya’ll are on about? I’m not saying it never happens, it clearly HAS happened to some of you, but I’m a little skeptical about the frequency. > > I don’t drive. I walk or take public transportation _everywhere_, at all times of day and night, and I only recall feeling actually \*threatened \*once, by a guy who was \*clearly \*Teh Crazy. > > Maybe I’m just peculiarly secure, but my experience is that most people aren’t crazy, or violent, or going to give you all that hard a time in public. Don’t get me wrong, anyone who actually \*touches \*you should be hit with all the howling and violence you can muster. But \*saying \*stuff isn’t assault, and words have only the power you assign to them. > > Guys yell stuff. It happens. I’m not saying it’s okay, but it seems to me that what actually tilts the balance of power is allowing them to make you feel bad. Fuck that. Honestly, I’d suggest that if you’re frequently harrassed, you’re not exuding sexuality so much as fear. When a guy yells something at me, I ignore him or tell him to get lost as appropriate, and then I forget it and continue along with my day. I’ve never had one flip out on me. I get the occasional “Bitch” tossed at my back, but they stay put. If the sort of behavior detailed in this thread is really as common as suggested, then why do they do that? I’m guessing it’s because I’m not giving them the intimidated reaction they’re going for. I’m not flinching, I’m not cowering, I’m not even adjusting my gait. I’m no fun. Some people are A+. “This is my experience, so surely it is yours.” I’ve never been afraid of people who bother the shit out of me outside (except fuckhead with the dog). If you would describe my body language as “exuding fear” or “intimidated,” no bullshit, you would be the first. This has fuckall to do with a woman’s body language. You think the guy who yelled at my from my car window on Saturday was thinking, “Hmm, that girl on the bicycle over there looks weak. I don’t usually bother women I don’t know this way, but she looks so… scared.” Please. They do this because they’re tools. I can’t speak for everyone else here, but my response to this kind of assholery is always to ignore them. Most go away, others do not. The ones who persist get the bird. Some get even more persistent than that! Holy shit, being ignored, then having the bird flipped is not enough for some men! Some don’t go away until you scream back and cause a scene. I’m sick of it, already. Having a vagina in public is not a crime. I am so very glad that you’re one of the lucky ones who this happens to rather infrequently. Maybe I can sign up for your Super Confidence! class, that stops assholes from being assholes. ---
**Author:** ![DianaG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2009, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-over-react-to-catcalling/507120/293 "2009-08-24T17:14:55Z")
**Shot From Guns** , do you advocate physical confrontation or law enforcement involvement everytime someone yells “nigger”, “fag”, or “kike”? > [@CrazyCatLady](#): > > What the “no big deal” crowd doesn’t seem to get is it’s not the whistles or the comments or the crotch-grabbing themselves that are scary. What’s scary is that you’re dealing with someone who obviously is ignorant or dismissive of certain social norms, and you don’t know how deep that goes. Wait… I’m confused. Does this happen all the time, or are the people who do it outside of the social norm? Can we get a venn diagram or something going here? **MeanOldLady** , you miss my point. Firstly, the guy yelling from his car is not a threat, or anyone you’ll ever have to deal with in any other context, so who gives a shit? Secondly, there’s no way to stop assholes from being assholes. All you can do is not give them the power to ruin your day. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2009, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-over-react-to-catcalling/507120/294 "2009-08-24T17:17:11Z")
It doesn’t have to happen infrequently in order for the people who do it to be outside the norm. If it happens as often as twice a day, everyday, I would still like to think the men who carry on this way are in the minority. I pass by 100 dudes between home and work. ---
**Author:** ![DianaG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2009, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-over-react-to-catcalling/507120/295 "2009-08-24T17:23:38Z")
Anything that happens twice a day, every day, is pretty normal. Again, I’m not saying it’s _okay_, I’m just saying that it’s probably not cause for alarm. ---
**Author:** ![TWDuke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e495f1/32.png) [@TWDuke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TWDuke)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2009, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-over-react-to-catcalling/507120/296 "2009-08-24T17:26:14Z")
> [@Tabby\_Cat](#): > > Chemical castration juju in the water system. Hell, in the world’s water supply. > > It’s the only way to be sure. > [@Ichini Sanshigo](#): > > Oh, don’t say that. Then the guys will start in on how offensive such talk of things like “testosterone poisoning” is. Not all men are assholes you know. Wait, some men are actually _offended_ by suggestions that they should be castrated for the sins of their sex? That _proves_ their guilt! > [@MeanOldLady](#): > > Well then don’t say we’re crazy if we’d take a bit of pleasure in an asshole, who bullies a random woman for simply being outside, getting what’s his. We’re not talking about the post in the OP. Those stupid drunks went full-on gangsta on someone for whistling, and didn’t even get the right guy. You should probably stop this crazy person from posting on your account: > [@MeanOldLady](#): > > I would gladly beat to death the next asshole who catcalls me. It’s only a shame these ladies took a guess at who the offender was, and were wrong. **If they’d only beaten the right guy, I would have found these women’s addresses and sent them flowers and candy daily.** ---
**Author:** ![mswas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e99b99/32.png) [@mswas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mswas)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2009, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-over-react-to-catcalling/507120/297 "2009-08-24T17:26:36Z")
> [@CrazyCatLady](#): > > In this thread, women are telling men that this goes on, that it’s common, and that it’s unacceptable. And most of the men are dismissing our experiences as exaggeration and oversensitivity and telling us to just suck it up and give the bullies what they want. It’s not that these assholes don’t know–we’re sitting right here telling them, ffs–it’s that it doesn’t directly affect them and thus they don’t give a shit. Actually no, we’re getting conflicting reports from women and are just curious as to how widespread it actually is. Beating up a dude because another dude whistled at you is completely and totally unacceptable. The crime here was perpetrated by WOMEN against MEN, and you’re trying to turn it into a, “feel sorry for the poor oppressed women.”, but this thread isn’t about women being oppressed it’s about men being oppressed. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2009, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-over-react-to-catcalling/507120/298 "2009-08-24T17:31:51Z")
> [@mswas](#): > > Beating up a dude because another dude whistled at you is completely and totally unacceptable. The crime here was perpetrated by WOMEN against MEN, and you’re trying to turn it into a, “feel sorry for the poor oppressed women.”, but this thread isn’t about women being oppressed it’s about men being oppressed. Sorry, but no. The guy in the original story was the victim of a crime, but he wasn’t oppressed. Oppression is the harming of a group of people by society or by a significant portion of society, not a couple of jerks beating up someone else. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2009, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-over-react-to-catcalling/507120/299 "2009-08-24T17:37:03Z")
> [@DianaG](#): > > **MeanOldLady** , you miss my point. Firstly, the guy yelling from his car is not a threat, or anyone you’ll ever have to deal with in any other context, so who gives a shit? Secondly, there’s no way to stop assholes from being assholes. All you can do is not give them the power to ruin your day. > [@DianaG](#): > > Anything that happens twice a day, every day, is pretty normal. Again, I’m not saying it’s _okay_, I’m just saying that it’s probably not cause for alarm. Yes, it is normal, but I would like to think the men who do it are in the minority of men. But yes, you’re right, I have little control over the assholery of other people, and should probably cool my jets about it. The funny thing is I don’t really get upset about a whole lot. True story: About two weeks ago, some woman in her car came whipping around the corner, paying no heed to the stop sign, and almost hit me on my bike. I jumped off, sacrificed my Schwinn to the gods for fear of being killed, and crossed my fingers that my bike didn’t get run over. She swerved, nobody was crushed by the weight of the vehicle, but I was briefly scared and annoyed my this woman’s lack of disregard for traffic signs. When I told my friend about it, she told me should would have yelled, “Watch where you’re going, you stupid bitch!” To be honest, I didn’t really care. She was a stupid bitch, but meh. I was just glad my pants weren’t torn. What’s the point of this story? None, really. No, wait, I remember. People often get upset about things they can’t control (we’re human), and different people get upset over different things. Running me over with your car isn’t one of my buttons, apparently, but harassing women on the street is. Go figure. > [@TWDuke](#): > > Wait, some men are actually _offended_ by suggestions that they should be castrated for the sins of their sex? That _proves_ their guilt! > You should probably stop this crazy person from posting on your account: You should probably learn how to take a joke. My point was that this kind of crap pisses me off. I unfortunately had to explain to people that I do not honestly advocate MURDER, since hyperbole goes unrecognized 'round these parts. I will also point out, that I was not actually going to find these women’s names and home addresses, and send them chocolates. ---
**Author:** ![MissIntent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/97f17d/32.png) [@MissIntent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MissIntent)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2009, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-over-react-to-catcalling/507120/300 "2009-08-24T17:37:30Z")
> [@DianaG](#): > > Firstly, the guy yelling from his car is not a threat, or anyone you’ll ever have to deal with in any other context, so who gives a shit?. But that’s not true. Sometimes they’re not a threat. They yell stuff, you ignore them, they drive away. And sometimes they are a threat. Sometimes they yell stuff, you ignore them. They stop the car and get out and suddenly it’s become a physical threat. Each situation started out the same for me: Walking around in a public area. From my point of view, when the guy initially yells, I don’t know if he’s going to drive away or going to become more threatening. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-over-react-to-catcalling/507120.md?page=14) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-over-react-to-catcalling/507120.md?page=16)