# Women (over)react to catcalling **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 20, 2009, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-over-react-to-catcalling/507120 "2009-08-20T20:36:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 21
**Author:** ![LeeshaJoy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e8cbc/32.png) [@LeeshaJoy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LeeshaJoy)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2009, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-over-react-to-catcalling/507120/401 "2009-08-25T19:23:13Z")
…okay, I now realize that, much like the women in the OP, I vented inappropriate rage at the wrong target. :smack: My apologies. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2009, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-over-react-to-catcalling/507120/402 "2009-08-25T19:25:23Z")
> [@DianaG](#): > > Objectification is part of normal HUMAN sexuality. Why did you leave out the rest of the animal kingdom from that statement? ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2009, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-over-react-to-catcalling/507120/403 "2009-08-25T19:25:36Z")
So… are we talking about whether it’s okay to objectify, noticing people’s tits, whistling, catcalling, harassing, harassing _the shit out of_, or what? I don’t know what’s going on anymore. There’s not enough love and understanding in this thread. Group hug. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2009, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-over-react-to-catcalling/507120/404 "2009-08-25T19:30:32Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > Group hug. Fine, but keep your hands where I can see them. ---
**Author:** ![Tymp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Tymp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tymp)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2009, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-over-react-to-catcalling/507120/405 "2009-08-25T19:48:29Z")
ogling --\> catcalling --\> harassing --\> stalking --\> groping --\> rape No one of these individual behaviors is the necessary result of another, but many women (and some men) have been on the receiving end of patterns just like this. A person who’s seen the uglier end of such a spectrum is not likely to find any included behavior innocuous, let alone charming. Sure, there are times when ogling and catcalling turn into flirting and a pleasant experience all around, but someone who’s suffered when things have gone differently will have less tolerance for behaviors that appear related. ---
**Author:** ![athelas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5e9695/32.png) [@athelas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/athelas)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2009, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-over-react-to-catcalling/507120/406 "2009-08-25T19:56:11Z")
You forgot to put “breathing” on that progression. All rapists breathe. ---
**Author:** ![Tymp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Tymp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tymp)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2009, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-over-react-to-catcalling/507120/407 "2009-08-25T19:56:58Z")
Not so good at reading are you? ---
**Author:** ![Vihaga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Vihaga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vihaga)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2009, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-over-react-to-catcalling/507120/408 "2009-08-25T19:59:43Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > To be clear, I think that guys can threaten women by shouting stuff at them, and there have been times when catcalling has been kind of oogy. And if you live in a place where that happens, it totally does suck. But just a simple whistle or a “You look FINE” seems pretty innocuous to me. When I get one it kind of makes my day a little because it usually happens when I look nice. I don’t take them as compliments, because it’s unwanted contact, and I think the catcallers know it. I walk down the street pretty fast (for a short person), eyes straight ahead, head up, and without a particularly pleasant look on my face.(well, I try. I have a feeling I’m failing horribly at this one, because I get asked for directions ALL the time. I’m polite to people asking, however, because they’re polite to me.) I don’t want to talk to random guys, I don’t want to hear their opinions, and I’m not flattered that some jackass likes my tits. Why would I be? In what possible way is the positive opinion of an asshole flattering? Ooh, I’m attractive to people who I think are misogynistic pissants! I feel so much better about myself now. ---
**Author:** ![mswas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e99b99/32.png) [@mswas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mswas)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2009, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-over-react-to-catcalling/507120/409 "2009-08-25T20:00:20Z")
> [@LeeshaJoy](#): > > **BULL. FUCKING. SHIT.** > > I am sick of this cultural myth that the male libido robs its owner of all rational thought once aroused. Well that’s good. I agree with you, the male libido doesn’t rob its owner of all rational thought once aroused. > [@](#): > > Women in various Islamic countries are made to wrap themselves in veils, and are told that if they don’t, they’ll awaken the insatiable beast that is the male sex drive. We’re told we can’t have gays in the military because they’d make unwanted advances toward their fellow soldiers, because the thought that a homosexual man would be able to _restrain himself_ from coming on to somebody in a professional setting is apparently as unrealistic as going to the moon on a unicycle. If some men are ruled by their cock, then either they’re mentally ill, or they’ve never been taught to control their sexual appetites. Violence against anyone who whistles or catcalls at a woman on the street isn’t the answer, true–but this “boys will be boys” horseshit is a cultural construct that needs to be disassembled. I agree with everything you are saying here. What does that have to do with anything that I’ve said? ---
**Author:** ![mswas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e99b99/32.png) [@mswas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mswas)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2009, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-over-react-to-catcalling/507120/410 "2009-08-25T20:01:20Z")
> [@LeeshaJoy](#): > > No, **mswas,** I believe there IS something wrong with that. So men being attracted to women for physical reasons and wanting to have sex with them is wrong? Why do you think that being a normal man is wrong? ---
**Author:** ![LeeshaJoy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e8cbc/32.png) [@LeeshaJoy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LeeshaJoy)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2009, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-over-react-to-catcalling/507120/411 "2009-08-25T20:01:54Z")
**mswas,** if you’ll look up at the top of this page, you’ll see I acknowledged my error and apologized. ---
**Author:** ![mswas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e99b99/32.png) [@mswas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mswas)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2009, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-over-react-to-catcalling/507120/412 "2009-08-25T20:05:37Z")
> [@LeeshaJoy](#): > > **mswas,** if you’ll look up at the top of this page, you’ll see I acknowledged my error and apologized. Oh ok I missed it sorry. Apology accepted. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2009, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-over-react-to-catcalling/507120/413 "2009-08-25T20:05:52Z")
> [@Vihaga](#): > > I don’t take them as compliments, because it’s unwanted contact, and I think the catcallers know it. I walk down the street pretty fast (for a short person), eyes straight ahead, head up, and without a particularly pleasant look on my face.(well, I try. I have a feeling I’m failing horribly at this one, because I get asked for directions ALL the time. I’m polite to people asking, however, because they’re polite to me.) > > I don’t want to talk to random guys, I don’t want to hear their opinions, and I’m not flattered that some jackass likes my tits. Why would I be? In what possible way is the positive opinion of an asshole flattering? Ooh, I’m attractive to people who I think are misogynistic pissants! I feel so much better about myself now. You’re definitely entitled to think that way. I just don’t think that a guy is necessarily an asshole because he thinks I have a hot body and whistles to show it. I mean, it’s not exactly the classiest guys who whistle, but whatever. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2009, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-over-react-to-catcalling/507120/414 "2009-08-25T20:11:23Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > You’re definitely entitled to think that way. I just don’t think that a guy is necessarily an asshole because he thinks I have a hot body and whistles to show it. I mean, it’s not exactly the classiest guys who whistle, but whatever. Would you blush and giggle if a guy went up to you and said, “I wanna suck on your tits”? Oh golly my, that guy just appreciates how attractive I am. I’m glad men find me attractive and choose to be crude about it. I like being pretty. ---
**Author:** ![DianaG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2009, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-over-react-to-catcalling/507120/415 "2009-08-25T20:11:50Z")
> [@Vihaga](#): > > In what possible way is the positive opinion of an asshole flattering? Ooh, I’m attractive to people who I think are misogynistic pissants! I feel so much better about myself now. I don’t think that anyone has said you should feel _flattered_, or “better about yourself”. There’s just no reason to feel worse about yourself, or threatened, either (and I realize you didn’t say you did). It’s a minor inconvenience. It’s actually more minor, IMO, than they guy who “politely” engages you in unwanted conversation on the train, because it’s more easily escapable. You just keep walking, and forget it. ---
**Author:** ![DianaG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2009, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-over-react-to-catcalling/507120/416 "2009-08-25T20:14:18Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > Would you blush and giggle if a guy went up to you and said, “I wanna suck on your tits”? Nah, I’d say “Take a number. Line forms waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay the fuck over there, and you don’t wanna lose your place.” Is that guy an asshole? Of course he is. So what? So’s the guy who wants to know if I’ve accepted Jesus as my personal Savior, and IMO the Jesus guy is much more likely to not let it go. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2009, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-over-react-to-catcalling/507120/417 "2009-08-25T20:18:42Z")
> [@DianaG](#): > > Nah, I’d say “Take a number. Line forms waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay the fuck over there, and you don’t wanna lose your place.” > > Is that guy an asshole? Of course he is. So what? So’s the guy who wants to know if I’ve accepted Jesus as my personal Savior, and IMO the Jesus guy is much more likely to not let it go. I just have a hard time finding this behavior to be flattering. I don’t have this, “It makes me feel good to know I’m hot” attitude that Freudian has. Please, people. 1) It’s not about hotness, these shitheels do it to everyone, and 2) If it were, why does the guy have to be an asshole about it? Also, my experiences have been exactly different from yours. As I said earlier, I have never had a Bible thumper persist, in any way, after being ignored. Also, as annoying as they are, they aren’t sexist chumps all juiced up on machismo. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2009, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-over-react-to-catcalling/507120/418 "2009-08-25T20:19:13Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > Would you blush and giggle if a guy went up to you and said, “I wanna suck on your tits”? Oh golly my, that guy just appreciates how attractive I am. I’m glad men find me attractive and choose to be crude about it. I like being pretty. No, and that’s pretty rude. I’m just saying I don’t lump in all behavior as being crude. Most of the stuff I get is really innocuous–stuff like a guy staring or whistling or nodding or whatever. I hate to say boys will be boys, but I just see it as typical male behavior. ETA: The worst behavior (IMO) are the kids who try to ask you to donate money for x charity. It’s so awkward because I feel kind of vaguely guilty since they’re being paid to do this, but it’s like one step beyond telemarketing. Ugh. ---
**Author:** ![Vihaga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Vihaga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vihaga)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2009, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-over-react-to-catcalling/507120/419 "2009-08-25T20:31:12Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > No, and that’s pretty rude. I’m just saying I don’t lump in all behavior as being crude. Most of the stuff I get is really innocuous–stuff like a guy staring or whistling or nodding or whatever. I hate to say boys will be boys, but I just see it as typical male behavior. This is typical for men you know? I can’t even imagine any of the men I know and respect (including my husband, friends and family) harassing women on the street. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2009, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-over-react-to-catcalling/507120/420 "2009-08-25T20:36:55Z")
> [@Vihaga](#): > > This is typical for men you know? I can’t even imagine any of the men I know and respect (including my husband, friends and family) harassing women on the street. Not for the type of men I know. Just for a certain kind of guy. I guess I see whistling as different from harassing. To be honest, the whistling is less annoying than a guy coming up to me and asking me out in a lot of cases because I don’t really have to acknowledge it. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-over-react-to-catcalling/507120.md?page=20) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-over-react-to-catcalling/507120.md?page=22)