# Women (over)react to catcalling **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 20, 2009, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-over-react-to-catcalling/507120 "2009-08-20T20:36:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 39
**Author:** ![Rubystreak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Rubystreak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rubystreak)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2009, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-over-react-to-catcalling/507120/761 "2009-09-08T21:08:25Z")
> [@Shot\_From\_Guns](#): > > A reasonable person would have done it (a) in that thread, (b) in a private message, or (c) in a new thread. The fact that you did it here proves that you don’t really care about anything but publicly shaming me. I didn’t think it would make this much of a sensation, really. If I had known it would take up so much room in this thread, I would have started another thread, but it’s too late for that now. I’m not going to PM you, sorry. You sought to shame curlcoat publicly, you should deal with the blowback publicly. As for publicly shaming, what were you trying to do to curlcoat? Is it only OK if you do the shaming? Though I must say, shaming wasn’t my agenda. Pointing out hypocrisy was my goal. You’re not helping the cause of fighting sexism if you blatantly contradict yourself, are you? Or don’t you actually care about sexism, but more about being self-righteous and kicking the shit out of people who offend you, whether it be catcalling men, or curlcoat? > [@](#): > > A woman who is catcalled in public can’t (or shouldn’t) escape going out in public. A person who is harassed in a section of a private website designed for harassment is free to leave that portion of the site at any time. Thus letting an asshole like you win. That’s not curlcoat’s style, and you know it. > [@](#): > > You are attacking the validity of my stance in this thread by an attack on my person. That \*\*is \*\*an ad hominem attack. I’m not attacking your person. I’m attacking the validity of your stance. Even Bosstone agreed that was not ad hominem. You can cling to that all you like, but it just ain’t so. > [@](#): > > Sure, so go ahead and demonstrate what I’ve said here that is no longer credible because of what I said in another thread. The idea that you oppose sexism and are in a position to lecture others about it is what’s in question here. I don’t have a problem with the idea that catcalls are sexist. What I have a problem with is a sexist calling other people sexist, or a woman giving other women shit because they don’t deal with sexism how you want them to. I can’t believe you’re incapable of recognizing your own hypocrisy here. > [@](#): > > Again, you seem to have two separate problems here: one that I insulted curlcoat at all, and the other, the words I chose to do it with. I’ve conceded that you have a point with the latter, but you’re dead wrong on the former. You’re making shit up. I don’t care if you insult curlcoat. I’ve done it myself. I find her infuriating and I understand why you were so pissed off at her, really I do. I care about the sexist way you did it when you simultaneously preach at both men and other women about sexism here. You are a hypocrite who needs to get her story straight or STFU. > [@](#): > > 1.) I never “admitted” anything resembling your pet theory. I agreed that taking advantage of cultural bias to make insults can reinforce that same cultural bias–that resembles nothing like what seems to be your “SFG is a closet misogynist” accusation. > 2.) I used some other words repeatedly, too. I called her a retard a lot. Shouldn’t you be getting all up in arms over that, too? After all, it’s insulting to the developmentally disabled. I never said you were a closet misogynist. But you clearly use misogynistic speech to belittle and demean, which is sexist behavior. And if you want to call curlcoat a retard, well, that doesn’t affect you calling other people out for sexism. I’m not the fucking internet police. People insult each other here all the time and I don’t give a rat’s ass. What I care about is flagrant hypocrisy, which you have displayed in spades. > [@](#): > > Really? So I can call a woman a whore once, and that’s **fine** , but it’s only when I do it repeatedly that it’s a problem? Who’s the hypocrite now, hypocrite? Oh for FUCK’S SAKE. Are you really this dense? If you called her a whore once, to make an actual, rhetorical point about the hypocrisy of her political stance in juxtaposition with her lifestyle, then it would have been a meaningful use of the word and not a gratuitous insult. What you did, though, was call her a whore every single time she spoke thereafter, thus draining any rhetorical merit from it and turning it into a way of dismissing her argument completely and making her feel like shit by using loaded sexist language. You hoped to shame her into silence by bludgeoning her with the word WHORE, and you enjoyed it. You admitted as much, so why the belabored denials? > [@](#): > > Some of us can do two things at one time, like chewing gum and walking, or making valid rhetorical points and insulting people. If your point is that people shouldn’t be sexist, but then you turn around and are fucking sexist, then you invalidate yourself as someone who can preach to others about the evils of sexism. This isn’t rocket science. > [@](#): > > Uh huh. So, where exactly did I make any of these claims for myself? And how does my using sexist language in another thread, which was not intended to be sexist, in any way negate the points I made here? I don’t give a shit about your intentions. What you did was use sexist language to attempt to silence another woman’s opinions because you didn’t like them or her. That’s sexist behavior, and I don’t see how you can deny it. I can’t believe we’re still even discussing this. So, if you feel free to engage in sexist behavior when it suits you, how can you feel righteous about criticizing the sexist behavior of others? You don’t know their intentions either, but you still feel quite free in labeling and judging them. When the same is done to you, you squirm, shout, and deny. Isn’t that textbook hypocrisy? > [@](#): > > This was actually a pretty civil thread for the Pit, until \*\*Rubystreak \*\*decided to turn it into her Personal Off-Topic Crusade Against SFG. It’s off topic, eh? You think you should be able to, simultaneously in two ongoing threads, behave in a flagrantly sexist manner, and then get up on your high horse and tell other people they’re sexist, and how best to respond to sexism? You’re 20 pounds of shit in a 10 pound bag, babe. If you can feel good about how you dealt with curlcoat, and still get on your soapbox here without any cognitive dissonance, then you’ve got serious blinders on about your own behavior. What else is there to say? You demand that men examine their own prejudices and behaviors but pay no attention to your own. If you’re OK with that, then I guess there’s nothing more to say. ---
**Author:** ![Gfactor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9de053/32.png) [@Gfactor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gfactor)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2009, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-over-react-to-catcalling/507120/762 "2009-09-09T02:13:02Z")
> [@Rubystreak](#): > > If I had known it would take up so much room in this thread, I would have started another thread, but it’s too late for that now. It’s never too late. 😉 Seriously, feel free to start another thread about this. If you wouldn’t mind, I’d be much obliged. **Gfactor** Pit Moderator ---
**Author:** ![Rubystreak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Rubystreak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rubystreak)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2009, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-over-react-to-catcalling/507120/763 "2009-09-09T02:16:20Z")
> [@Gfactor](#): > > It’s never too late. 😉 Seriously, feel free to start another thread about this. If you wouldn’t mind, I’d be much obliged. > > **Gfactor** > Pit Moderator You know what? I’m done. I’ve said all I need to say, and the conversation is going nowhere anyway. If Shot From Guns has more to say, she can open another thread. Otherwise, I’m good with just dropping it. ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2009, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-over-react-to-catcalling/507120/764 "2009-09-09T18:56:33Z")
Shockingly, I’m not so full of myself that I’m going to open another thread just so I can get the last word in. I will, however, gleefully participate should you decide you’re actually up for some debate and start another. ---
**Author:** ![Bosstone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@Bosstone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosstone)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2009, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-over-react-to-catcalling/507120/765 "2009-09-09T19:00:01Z")
If _I_ open the thread, will you two ladies bring the mud and jello? …What? ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2009, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-over-react-to-catcalling/507120/766 "2009-09-09T19:03:31Z")
Mud \*\*and \*\*Jell-o? Ew. My rate just tripled. ---
**Author:** ![Bosstone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@Bosstone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosstone)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2009, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-over-react-to-catcalling/507120/767 "2009-09-09T19:07:57Z")
Well, there’ll be a wet T-shirt contest in between matches, so there won’t be cross-contamination. ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2009, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-over-react-to-catcalling/507120/768 "2009-09-09T19:18:47Z")
Quadrupled. You better have some deep pockets. ---
**Author:** ![Gfactor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9de053/32.png) [@Gfactor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gfactor)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2009, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-over-react-to-catcalling/507120/769 "2009-09-09T19:26:34Z")
> [@Shot\_From\_Guns](#): > > Quadrupled. You better have some deep pockets. Seriously folks, can we get back on topic? \*\* Gfactor\*\* Pit Moderator ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2009, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-over-react-to-catcalling/507120/770 "2009-09-09T19:53:22Z")
Back on which topic? Even the latest topic pre-most-recent-derail was itself off the original topic. I mean, not that I don’t agree with the sentiment, but I’m not sure “HAY GUYZ LET’S ALL TALK ABOUT STUFF AGAIN” is actually going to stimulate a seemingly dead conversation. ---
**Author:** ![Gfactor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9de053/32.png) [@Gfactor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gfactor)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2009, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-over-react-to-catcalling/507120/771 "2009-09-09T20:55:47Z")
> [@Shot\_From\_Guns](#): > > Back on which topic? Even the latest topic pre-most-recent-derail was itself off the original topic. > > I mean, not that I don’t agree with the sentiment, but I’m not sure “HAY GUYZ LET’S ALL TALK ABOUT STUFF AGAIN” is actually going to stimulate a seemingly dead conversation. That’s fine. Please terminate the discussion about whether you will start a new thread, and either start one or don’t. \*\* Gfactor\*\* Pit Moderator ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2009, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-over-react-to-catcalling/507120/772 "2009-09-09T22:06:09Z")
I thought we were on to frivolous suggestions about engaging in a sexualized mock fight for the titillation of posters attracted to females? Not trying to mod-bait here, I’m just not sure why some joking in the Pit that isn’t interfering with the thread (i.e., I don’t see it breaking up any other, more on-topic discussions) is being commented on. ---
**Author:** ![Gfactor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9de053/32.png) [@Gfactor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gfactor)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2009, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-over-react-to-catcalling/507120/773 "2009-09-10T00:10:08Z")
> [@Shot\_From\_Guns](#): > > I thought we were on to frivolous suggestions about engaging in a sexualized mock fight for the titillation of posters attracted to females? > > Not trying to mod-bait here, I’m just not sure why some joking in the Pit that isn’t interfering with the thread (i.e., I don’t see it breaking up any other, more on-topic discussions) is being commented on. You’re right. I’ve had a couple of thread reports requesting me to redirect the hijack because they wanted to continue the discussion that was going on. In the Pit, I’m reluctant to do that because there really isn’t much of a relevance requirement in the first place. I thought I’d give it a try. Let me try a different way. Those who want to discuss the OP or topics derived from it: please feel free to do so. To those whose posts I noted earlier: you are free to discuss what you wish. **Gfactor** Pit Moderator ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2009, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-over-react-to-catcalling/507120/774 "2009-09-10T14:59:08Z")
So… Uh… How ‘bout them guys hollerin’ at ladies, 'ey? Am I right? :crickets: ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2009, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-over-react-to-catcalling/507120/775 "2009-09-10T14:59:45Z")
They’re bad, and they should stop. ---
**Author:** ![saoirse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@saoirse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saoirse)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2009, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-over-react-to-catcalling/507120/776 "2009-09-10T15:48:03Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > They’re bad, and they should stop. I only read the OP and the last two posts, but I think you’re TOTALLY overreacting! ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2009, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-over-react-to-catcalling/507120/777 "2009-09-10T15:59:17Z")
Hey, **MeanOldLady** , how _you_ doi… > [@MeanOldLady](#): > > They’re bad, and they should stop. Oh. Gosh, it’s been so long I had totally forgotten about whether this thread was about stopping catcalling or encouraging it. ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2009, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-over-react-to-catcalling/507120/778 "2009-09-10T16:49:24Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > They’re bad, and they should stop. You’re an idiot. Now take those shoes off, get over here, and make me a sandwich while I grab your ass repeatedly. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2009, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-over-react-to-catcalling/507120/779 "2009-09-10T19:00:43Z")
Hoooo-wee. I’d pay to see that. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2009, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-over-react-to-catcalling/507120/780 "2009-09-10T19:32:15Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > Hoooo-wee. I’d pay to see that. I don’t know. It depends on what kind of sandwich. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-over-react-to-catcalling/507120.md?page=38) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-over-react-to-catcalling/507120.md?page=40)