# Women, seducer or seducee **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 10, 2015, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-seducer-or-seducee/737199 "2015-11-10T16:24:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 5\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Barrett\_Bonden](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5e9695/32.png) [@Barrett\_Bonden](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Barrett_Bonden)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2015, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-seducer-or-seducee/737199/21 "2015-11-11T23:22:41Z")
> [@WF\_Tomba](#): > > I hope so. But unless he’s very upfront and honest about his predilections, he’s walking a dangerous line. The story you told us makes it sound like he just springs this stuff on women, betting that they’ll end up liking it, even if they didn’t think they would. What if he misjudges once? > [@HoneyBadgerDC](#): > > He seems to have good radar for things like this. I always figured he would end up in jail one day but so far it has never happened. Yeah, [Jian Gomeshi](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jian_Ghomeshi) had the same approach. Seems to have done a lot for him. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2015, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-seducer-or-seducee/737199/22 "2015-11-12T13:42:03Z")
> [@HoneyBadgerDC](#): > > I have had a few romps with wealthy powerful women and they do seem to like being dominated. > A buddy of mine is a biker and he was dating a woman of considerable means in a high powered position. She told him when they first started to hook up that there would be some ground rules. #1 she would not tolerate any form of physical abuse #2. She would not tolerate any form of disrespect. I asked him what his response was to that. H said he slapped her across the face grabbed her hair and forced her to her knees and pissed all over her. He couldn’t get rid of her after that. Jesus Christ. Maybe this is why women don’t want to answer these kinds of threads. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![HoneyBadgerDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honeybadgerdc/32/1033_2.png) [@HoneyBadgerDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HoneyBadgerDC)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2015, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-seducer-or-seducee/737199/23 "2015-11-12T15:35:40Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > Jesus Christ. Maybe this is why women don’t want to answer these kinds of threads. :rolleyes: I can see where that would be offensive to any half way normal person. To be fair the overwhelming majority of the ladies I met who were into this guys lifestyle were anything but rich and powerful and had some pretty serious issues to begin with. ---
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2015, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-seducer-or-seducee/737199/24 "2015-11-12T15:44:01Z")
> [@HoneyBadgerDC](#): > > I have had a few romps with wealthy powerful women and they do seem to like being dominated. > A buddy of mine is a biker and he was dating a woman of considerable means in a high powered position. She told him when they first started to hook up that there would be some ground rules. #1 she would not tolerate any form of physical abuse #2. She would not tolerate any form of disrespect. I asked him what his response was to that. H said he slapped her across the face grabbed her hair and forced her to her knees and pissed all over her. He couldn’t get rid of her after that. One of the luxuries of being in a position of (sufficient) power is that you can relax into erotic power play in which you have things done unto you, and the sense of really being involuntarily done unto can be accentuated by a mild dose of violence and humiliation — all the while not _really_ being helpless to get out of the situation any time you want to. Getting into a sexual relationship that includes BDSM elements is _not_ comparable to being a battered spouse / ongoing victim of domestic violence. It’s play. I doubt that having one’s hair yanked and being slapped in the face is anywhere near as good a turn-on if you don’t have confidence that you can opt out (and have the social power to opt out without egregious consequences). ---
**Author:** ![HoneyBadgerDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honeybadgerdc/32/1033_2.png) [@HoneyBadgerDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HoneyBadgerDC)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2015, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-seducer-or-seducee/737199/25 "2015-11-12T16:42:54Z")
> [@AHunter3](#): > > One of the luxuries of being in a position of (sufficient) power is that you can relax into erotic power play in which you have things done unto you, and the sense of really being involuntarily done unto can be accentuated by a mild dose of violence and humiliation — all the while not _really_ being helpless to get out of the situation any time you want to. > > Getting into a sexual relationship that includes BDSM elements is _not_ comparable to being a battered spouse / ongoing victim of domestic violence. It’s play. I doubt that having one’s hair yanked and being slapped in the face is anywhere near as good a turn-on if you don’t have confidence that you can opt out (and have the social power to opt out without egregious consequences). That was very well put, Thank You. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-seducer-or-seducee/737199.md?page=1)