# Women that refuse to perform oral sex... **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 14, 2013, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-that-refuse-to-perform-oral-sex/647203 "2013-01-14T19:00:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![FoieGrasIsEvil](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foiegrasisevil/32/16638_2.png) [@FoieGrasIsEvil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FoieGrasIsEvil)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2013, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-that-refuse-to-perform-oral-sex/647203/1 "2013-01-14T19:00:04Z")
…why? Is there a particular reason why you refuse (or hate) to do it? And if you do not perform it, do you also refuse to allow it to be performed on yourself as well? If so, why? If not, why not? ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2013, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-that-refuse-to-perform-oral-sex/647203/2 "2013-01-14T19:11:22Z")
I don’t refuse to perform oral sex as a general rule, but I have refused to perform oral sex in certain instances. Sometimes things are just too smelly down there, and it makes me gag. (And for your other question: if I’m feeling “not-so-fresh” myself, I discourage men from going down on me; I just feel too inhibited to enjoy it.) One guy persisted in grabbing my head and forcing a deep throat when I wasn’t ready for it. Ick. He was perfectly wonderful as a lover otherwise, I just couldn’t break him of that habit, so I stopped taking the bus downtown, as it were. ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2013, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-that-refuse-to-perform-oral-sex/647203/3 "2013-01-14T19:17:12Z")
Where do you take the bus now? ---
**Author:** ![kaiwik](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaiwik/32/3978_2.png) [@kaiwik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaiwik)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2013, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-that-refuse-to-perform-oral-sex/647203/4 "2013-01-14T19:23:52Z")
**WhyNot** said everything I was going to say. I will add emphasis on hygiene; I make the effort to be clean and fresh, it’s not to much to expect the same courtesy. ---
**Author:** ![Helena330](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/helena330/32/531_2.png) [@Helena330](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Helena330)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2013, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-that-refuse-to-perform-oral-sex/647203/5 "2013-01-14T19:24:56Z")
I enjoy it IF THERE’S BEEN A SHOWER WITHIN THE LAST 12 HOURS and/or SINCE A WORKOUT. Personal hygiene is a MUST. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2013, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-that-refuse-to-perform-oral-sex/647203/6 "2013-01-14T19:41:20Z")
> [@Drunky\_Smurf](#): > > Where do you take the bus now? To Euphemism Central, nonstop, no transfers, no exchanges. ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2013, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-that-refuse-to-perform-oral-sex/647203/7 "2013-01-14T19:43:35Z")
Is there a particular reason you (The OP) don’t give blow jobs? What’s that? It’s not your thing? The idea squicks you out altogether? You don’t even want to think of it? Then how is it, in any way, possible to\*\*\* not\*\*\* understand why some women don’t care for it? How be you go out and give a couple of blow jobs and come back with you findings? ---
**Author:** ![aag3981](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/53a042/32.png) [@aag3981](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aag3981)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2013, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-that-refuse-to-perform-oral-sex/647203/8 "2013-01-14T19:45:20Z")
I use to not do it, but that was when I was younger (like 25 or so) and mainly because of stigma associated with it. Though I never had anyone not perform on me, though, I never pushed the issue. In my current relationship, I have no problem with it. What about men that refuse to perform? Though, I honestly have never been with a guy that wouldn’t:/ ---
**Author:** ![Speaker\_for\_the\_Dead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c77e96/32.png) [@Speaker\_for\_the\_Dead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Speaker_for_the_Dead)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2013, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-that-refuse-to-perform-oral-sex/647203/9 "2013-01-14T19:50:28Z")
> [@elbows](#): > > Is there a particular reason you (The OP) don’t give blow jobs? > > What’s that? It’s not your thing? The idea squicks you out altogether? You don’t even want to think of it? > > Then how is it, in any way, possible to\*\*\* not\*\*\* understand why some women don’t care for it? > > How be you go out and give a couple of blow jobs and come back with you findings? Assuming the OP is a straight male, this is sort of an unfair question. He could then just as well say “I refuse to go down on women for all the reasons they would find it gross to do so.” You know, because not being attracted to a member of your own gender when you’re straight is unreasonable. I’m not defending the question; it’s easy to think of why it’s gross, but to say “straight women don’t like giving blowjobs for all the same reasons straight men don’t like doing so” is kind of silly. ---
**Author:** ![FoieGrasIsEvil](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foiegrasisevil/32/16638_2.png) [@FoieGrasIsEvil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FoieGrasIsEvil)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2013, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-that-refuse-to-perform-oral-sex/647203/10 "2013-01-14T19:51:30Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > I don’t refuse to perform oral sex as a general rule, but I have refused to perform oral sex in certain instances. Sometimes things are just too smelly down there, and it makes me gag. (And for your other question: if I’m feeling “not-so-fresh” myself, I discourage men from going down on me; I just feel too inhibited to enjoy it.) > > One guy persisted in grabbing my head and forcing a deep throat when I wasn’t ready for it. Ick. He was perfectly wonderful as a lover otherwise, I just couldn’t break him of that habit, so I stopped taking the bus downtown, as it were. This is a really good answer. I kinda figured that at least some responses were going to relate to bad smells, hygiene, etc. This thread is at least in part inspired by my ex-wife, whom would never in 11 years of being together give me a blow job, and also wouldn’t allow me to go down on her despite my pleas because she felt insecure about her girly parts. One day after we separated, she had come by my house for something and had announced to me " I have never had my pussy eaten out so much in all my life!"…the reason being of course is that she was dating old, impotent men in their late 50’s or early 60’s (she is 36 right now, I am 43)…and that’s all they can do to pleasure her. And then of course we proceeded to have that inexplicably awesome breakup sex, which (of course) featured her giving me on of the best blowjobs of my life, and her begging me to eat her out. WTF? ---
**Author:** ![FoieGrasIsEvil](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foiegrasisevil/32/16638_2.png) [@FoieGrasIsEvil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FoieGrasIsEvil)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2013, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-that-refuse-to-perform-oral-sex/647203/11 "2013-01-14T19:54:32Z")
> [@Speaker\_for\_the\_Dead](#): > > Assuming the OP is a straight male, this is sort of an unfair question. He could then just as well say “I refuse to go down on women for all the reasons they would find it gross to do so.” You know, because not being attracted to a member of your own gender when you’re straight is unreasonable. > > I’m not defending the question; it’s easy to think of why it’s gross, but to say “straight women don’t like giving blowjobs for all the same reasons straight men don’t like doing so” is kind of silly. I am a straight male and that is exactly why I do not suck dicks. As for the second part of your reply: I know that “grossness” was going to be a big part of the replies, but there’s a power dynamic at work with oral sex and I wonder if that plays a larger role than people are willing to admit, or if there are other reasons which many people just may not talk about or otherwise address. ---
**Author:** ![Mrs.Cake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/2acd7d/32.png) [@Mrs.Cake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mrs.Cake)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2013, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-that-refuse-to-perform-oral-sex/647203/12 "2013-01-14T19:59:22Z")
I have never refused outright (unless asked by strangers on street corners), but sometimes have been known to suggest we wait until after a shower, usually taken together, so everyone is equally kissing sweet. ---
**Author:** ![GrandWino](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grandwino/32/67_2.png) [@GrandWino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrandWino)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2013, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-that-refuse-to-perform-oral-sex/647203/13 "2013-01-14T20:00:22Z")
Somewhere in here is a joke comparing blowjobs to the way geese are fed in order to produce fois gras, but I’m not going to attempt it. ---
**Author:** ![Speaker\_for\_the\_Dead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c77e96/32.png) [@Speaker\_for\_the\_Dead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Speaker_for_the_Dead)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2013, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-that-refuse-to-perform-oral-sex/647203/14 "2013-01-14T20:04:16Z")
> [@aag3981](#): > > I use to not do it, but that was when I was younger (like 25 or so) and mainly because of stigma associated with it. Though I never had anyone not perform on me, though, I never pushed the issue. In my current relationship, I have no problem with it. > > What about men that refuse to perform? Though, I honestly have never been with a guy that wouldn’t:/ Interesting. I’ve never polled my friends or partners, but I’m aware of a common idea that there are a lot of men out there who expect oral sex but are loathe to return the favour. I always thought it was odd. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2013, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-that-refuse-to-perform-oral-sex/647203/15 "2013-01-14T20:06:47Z")
(I’ve never been with a man who won’t perform oral on me, either. Some of them are more into it than I am, really. It takes skill that some men just don’t have, and no, licking the alphabet ain’t all it takes…) ---
**Author:** ![ThisSpaceForRent](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thisspaceforrent/32/345_2.png) [@ThisSpaceForRent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThisSpaceForRent)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2013, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-that-refuse-to-perform-oral-sex/647203/16 "2013-01-14T20:14:42Z")
> [@Mrs.Cake](#): > > I have never refused outright (unless asked by strangers on street corners), but sometimes have been known to suggest we wait until after a shower, usually taken together, so everyone is equally kissing sweet. mmmmm…somehow cake seems delicious right now;) ---
**Author:** ![ThisSpaceForRent](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thisspaceforrent/32/345_2.png) [@ThisSpaceForRent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThisSpaceForRent)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2013, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-that-refuse-to-perform-oral-sex/647203/17 "2013-01-14T20:20:11Z")
i am an idiot.. > [@WhyNot](#): > > (I’ve never been with a man who won’t perform oral on me, either. Some of them are more into it than I am, really. It takes skill that some men just don’t have, and no, licking the alphabet ain’t all it takes…) mmmmmm why not! genitalia can be tasty…secondaries too! ---
**Author:** ![corkboard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@corkboard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/corkboard)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2013, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-that-refuse-to-perform-oral-sex/647203/18 "2013-01-14T20:39:22Z")
I’ve only been with one woman who was put off by the idea of oral sex, both giving and receiving. The idea of putting a penis in her mouth was as strange and unpleasant to her as if she was asked to suck on the sole of someone’s shoe. She couldn’t convince me to let me perform it on her, either. Only one time- on my birthday- she volunteered to blow me, and only because it was my birthday. But her disinterest and obvious disgust with the whole process caused me to take pity on her and suggest something else after about three minutes. She was an amazing lover in other respects though; passionate and enthusiastic. But oral? “Eeewwwww, gross!!” She just didn’t see how it could be enjoyable or erotic for the giver or the receiver. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2013, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-that-refuse-to-perform-oral-sex/647203/19 "2013-01-14T20:58:46Z")
Is junk funk really such an issue? I’ve only been with one man who took a sloppy approach to genital hygiene. God, what a terrible marriage that was… But anyway, other than that, they all have had the good sense to maintain a clean area before expecting me to interact with it. ---
**Author:** ![Toxylon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f05b48/32.png) [@Toxylon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Toxylon)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2013, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-that-refuse-to-perform-oral-sex/647203/20 "2013-01-14T21:03:28Z")
I’m a straight dude, but I can tell what my ex-wife used to say concerning blowjobs which she wouldn’t do. She thought sexual organs are ugly and said penises (at least mine) taste like cum, which she can’t stand. I tasted my own pre-ejaculate in front of her to test her claim, and couldn’t detect the slightest hint of cum in the flavor (I never expected or asked her to blow me all the way). She didn’t want me to go down on her, either. Too bad, as I love to give and receive oral sex. ETA: I’m meticulous about my personal hygiene and invariably go wash up before sex just to make sure, so that couldn’t have been an issue. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-that-refuse-to-perform-oral-sex/647203.md?page=2)