# Women that refuse to perform oral sex... **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 14, 2013, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-that-refuse-to-perform-oral-sex/647203 "2013-01-14T19:00:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2013, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-that-refuse-to-perform-oral-sex/647203/81 "2013-01-15T16:25:24Z")
What’s the difference between a penis and a bonus? Your wife will always blow your bonus. And then there was the blonde who broke her nose on a steering wheel while trying to blow the horn. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2013, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-that-refuse-to-perform-oral-sex/647203/82 "2013-01-15T16:41:46Z")
**Boy:** “Give me a blow job.” **Girl:** “Can’t you be more romantic?” **Boy:** “Give me a blow job in the rain.” ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2013, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-that-refuse-to-perform-oral-sex/647203/83 "2013-01-15T16:46:18Z")
> [@Siam\_Sam](#): > > What’s the difference between a penis and a bonus? > > Your wife will always blow your bonus. > > And then there was the blonde who broke her nose on a steering wheel while trying to blow the horn. Don’t forget the blonde terrorist who burned her lips trying to blow up a bus. ---
**Author:** ![janis\_and\_c0](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/janis_and_c0/32/21_2.png) [@janis\_and\_c0](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/janis_and_c0)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2013, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-that-refuse-to-perform-oral-sex/647203/84 "2013-01-15T17:45:36Z")
> [@Siam\_Sam](#): > > **Boy:** “Give me a blow job.” > **Girl:** “Can’t you be more romantic?” > **Boy:** “Give me a blow job in the rain.” Tee hee hee, ---
**Author:** ![curlcoat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ea5d25/32.png) [@curlcoat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/curlcoat)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2013, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-that-refuse-to-perform-oral-sex/647203/85 "2013-01-15T18:03:40Z")
> [@Siam\_Sam](#): > > **Boy:** “Give me a blow job.” > **Girl:** “Can’t you be more romantic?” > **Boy:** “Give me a blow job in the rain.” That’s it right there for many women. We aren’t as fascinated by penises (peni?) as men are and if the BJ has been presented to us as something we are _supposed_ to do _to_ the man, then forget it! ---
**Author:** ![flight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bbce88/32.png) [@flight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flight)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2013, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-that-refuse-to-perform-oral-sex/647203/86 "2013-01-15T18:56:52Z")
> [@Jackknifed\_Juggernaut](#): > > I can honestly say that, in my 25 years or so of having sex, I’ve never met a woman who didn’t give blowjobs. A few weren’t very good at it, and some weren’t enthusiastic about it, but they all did it. I am kind of shocked that it appears to be so common to refuse. I would take that to be quite insulting and probably never go out with such a woman again. Maybe it’s an age-related thing? Like maybe older women didn’t talk about sex or have access to porn during their learning years, so they consider it dirty? As part of foreplay, it’s as common as kissing. Could you imagine if a woman refused to kiss you before sex? This is pretty much the same thing. I have come across women that didn’t like getting the favor returned. But I would never refuse to do it, except if there was a visit from the Progressive lady or something. As Dan Savage says, “Blowjobs now come standard on all models.” ---
**Author:** ![April\_R](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@April\_R](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/April_R)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2013, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-that-refuse-to-perform-oral-sex/647203/87 "2013-01-15T18:57:29Z")
I have a question, if a guy can get the vaj why would he prefer or even want a BJ when he can get full on sex? BJs seem so high school to me, like we can’t have sex sex so we will have oral sex and heavy petting. It just seems juvenile to me. I’d rather just go all the way than mess around with foreplay. Ain’t nobody got time for that 😛 ---
**Author:** ![simster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/simster/32/1047_2.png) [@simster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/simster)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2013, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-that-refuse-to-perform-oral-sex/647203/88 "2013-01-15T19:14:32Z")
> [@April\_R](#): > > I have a question, if a guy can get the vaj why would he prefer or even want a BJ when he can get full on sex? BJs seem so high school to me, like we can’t have sex sex so we will have oral sex and heavy petting. It just seems juvenile to me. I’d rather just go all the way than mess around with foreplay. Ain’t nobody got time for that 😛 It’s hard to have PnV sex while driving. ---
**Author:** ![Krouget](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b38774/32.png) [@Krouget](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Krouget)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2013, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-that-refuse-to-perform-oral-sex/647203/89 "2013-01-15T19:19:00Z")
> [@April\_R](#): > > I have a question, if a guy can get the vaj why would he prefer or even want a BJ when he can get full on sex? BJs seem so high school to me, like we can’t have sex sex so we will have oral sex and heavy petting. It just seems juvenile to me. I’d rather just go all the way than mess around with foreplay. Ain’t nobody got time for that 😛 Sometimes, it’s just less work, with the same/better gratification, or the location doesn’t allow for it. I don’t have any stock in the juvenile hangup, but just go with what you and your partner(s) like.🙂 ---
**Author:** ![GrandWino](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grandwino/32/67_2.png) [@GrandWino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrandWino)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2013, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-that-refuse-to-perform-oral-sex/647203/90 "2013-01-15T19:19:26Z")
> [@April\_R](#): > > I have a question, if a guy can get the vaj why would he prefer or even want a BJ when he can get full on sex? BJs seem so high school to me, like we can’t have sex sex so we will have oral sex and heavy petting. It just seems juvenile to me. I’d rather just go all the way than mess around with foreplay. Ain’t nobody got time for that 😛 I don’t think you understand how blow jobs work. ---
**Author:** ![Peremensoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ce7236/32.png) [@Peremensoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peremensoe)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2013, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-that-refuse-to-perform-oral-sex/647203/91 "2013-01-15T19:19:47Z")
> [@April\_R](#): > > I have a question, if a guy can get the vaj why would he prefer or even want a BJ when he can get full on sex? It’s not a “full on” sexual relationship without oral, IMO. There are a whole range of techniques, sensations, and effects that oral can provide (given intimacy, competency, and enthusiasm) that vaginal cannot. And vice-versa, of course. ---
**Author:** ![Lukeinva](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lukeinva/32/17872_2.png) [@Lukeinva](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lukeinva)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2013, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-that-refuse-to-perform-oral-sex/647203/92 "2013-01-15T19:20:25Z")
You know that picture when the bride is walking up the aisle and the choir playing “Here comes the Bride?” The groom is waiting at the altar? Both have huge beaming smiles? He’s thinking “this is great, blowjobs every night!” She’s thinking “this is great, I don’t have to do _that_ anymore” ---
**Author:** ![April\_R](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@April\_R](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/April_R)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2013, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-that-refuse-to-perform-oral-sex/647203/93 "2013-01-15T19:25:41Z")
> [@Krouget](#): > > Sometimes, it’s just less work, with the same/better gratification, or the location doesn’t allow for it. I don’t have any stock in the juvenile hangup, but just go with what you and your partner(s) like.🙂 Less work for who? This is a major problem I have with oral. Unless it’s 69, the pleasure is pretty one sided. And Bjs in particular are darn right selfish if all the guy is interested in is getting off and not returning anything. Intercourse is good times for all. And if you are really that lazy that sex sounds like work, just lay on your back and take it like a man ---
**Author:** ![April\_R](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@April\_R](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/April_R)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2013, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-that-refuse-to-perform-oral-sex/647203/94 "2013-01-15T19:26:58Z")
> [@Peremensoe](#): > > It’s not a “full on” sexual relationship without oral, IMO. > . Now that is just pedantic BS. ---
**Author:** ![Peremensoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ce7236/32.png) [@Peremensoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peremensoe)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2013, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-that-refuse-to-perform-oral-sex/647203/95 "2013-01-15T19:38:41Z")
> [@April\_R](#): > > Less work for who? This is a major problem I have with oral. Unless it’s 69, the pleasure is pretty one sided. And Bjs in particular are darn right selfish if all the guy is interested in is getting off and not returning anything. Intercourse is good times for all. You’re thinking of it in terms of single, specific acts. It works better (IME) to look at the whole relationship. Selfishness–and selflessness–are _great_ in sexual relationships, provided that both partners ultimately get satisfied every way they want to be. You don’t need to be both getting physical stimulation every _moment_. Sometimes the anticipation of what is to come later, even much later, is as hot as anything. The most important sex organ is the brain. ---
**Author:** ![Krouget](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b38774/32.png) [@Krouget](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Krouget)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2013, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-that-refuse-to-perform-oral-sex/647203/96 "2013-01-15T19:41:24Z")
> [@April\_R](#): > > Less work for who? Depends on the nature of the oral, but in general, the person receiving doesn’t burn as many calories. 🙂 > [@](#): > > This is a major problem I have with oral. Unless it’s 69, the pleasure is pretty one sided. That’s a very solvable problem, by virtue of taking turns or doing something else for/with your partner. > [@](#): > > And Bjs in particular are darn right selfish if all the guy is interested in is getting off and not returning anything. Intercourse is good times for all. And if you are really that lazy that sex sounds like work, just lay on your back and take it like a man And if the guy is interested in getting off and returning? Either way, to each their own. 🙂 Also, what **Peremensoe** said. ---
**Author:** ![StusBlues](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dc4da7/32.png) [@StusBlues](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StusBlues)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2013, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-that-refuse-to-perform-oral-sex/647203/97 "2013-01-15T19:52:23Z")
> [@April\_R](#): > > I don’t mind giving bjs, but sometimes the pubic hair is off putting. I personally hate receiving, not from any insecurity, I just don’t like a guy slobbering all over my downstairs. The thought is such a turn off. I have had it done to me and have never liked it. Hands are great however. Data point: I would GLADLY shave (or at least aggressively trim) said region if it afforded more frequent oral gratification. And you can take that to the bank. I don’t get men who don’t enjoy Cunnilingus. I mean, here it is, the grand buffet of all creation, the source of life and creativity itself, set our for your attention. Who would not wish to elicit that grand wellspring of pleasure in the most intimate way possible? On 69: I didn’t understand all the fuss about waterboarding until about three weeks ago. And that’s all I’ve got to say about that. ---
**Author:** ![Celidin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/cc9497/32.png) [@Celidin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Celidin)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2013, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-that-refuse-to-perform-oral-sex/647203/98 "2013-01-15T20:55:09Z")
> [@Gleena](#): > > The only times I refuse are when I have cold sores, which I get at the drop of a hat. Doesn’t seem safe Good call. Had a (female) friend in college that found out the hard way that oral herpes can be transmitted to genital herpes via cold sores and … certain acts. [wiki cite](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Herpes_simplex) ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2013, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-that-refuse-to-perform-oral-sex/647203/99 "2013-01-15T21:22:16Z")
The only thing I do _npt_ like one bit is being presented with “limp weenie, please suck.” Ugh, no one wants to put that in their mouths. So there’s my reason. Once it’s hard I don’t have any problem, and while I haven’t been with _that_ many men, I can tell you I don’t think I’ve ever come across (ha!) a real hygiene problem. If there ever was, one shower would have taken care of it - it wasn’t built up funk, just normal stuff. ---
**Author:** ![Toxylon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f05b48/32.png) [@Toxylon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Toxylon)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2013, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-that-refuse-to-perform-oral-sex/647203/100 "2013-01-15T21:30:38Z")
> [@April\_R](#): > > I have a question, if a guy can get the vaj why would he prefer or even want a BJ when he can get full on sex? Variety is crucial in sex. Oral sex feels completely different from PIV sex, both mentally and physically, providing variety. Especially in a monogamous relationship, barring oral sex greatly diminishes variety. PIV sex is the best kind of sex there is, but having PIV sex for the umpteenth time with the same person makes one long for something a little different every once in a while. Reciprocal oral sex completes the sexual experience, and creates an intimate bond PIV sex alone can’t provide, IME. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-that-refuse-to-perform-oral-sex/647203.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-that-refuse-to-perform-oral-sex/647203.md?page=6)