# Women turn Men into Bastards. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 7, 2006, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-turn-men-into-bastards/338838 "2006-01-07T02:18:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2006, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-turn-men-into-bastards/338838/21 "2006-01-08T00:59:00Z")
> [@AngelicGemma](#): > > I speak for the women of the world when I say - sorry, but there’s not a chance in hell we’re taking responsibility for that. 😛 Ditto. Thank you, Gemma. Some women make men into bastards…only because you men are wimpy and easily pushed around. Sorry, let me start over. Some men are wimpy and easily pushed around. Then, there are some who can’t be pushed with a steamroller. Guess which ones we’re more attracted to? ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2006, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-turn-men-into-bastards/338838/22 "2006-01-08T01:04:46Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > Ditto. Thank you, Gemma. Some women make men into bastards…only because **you men are wimpy and easily pushed around**. I think you hit the nail on the head. > [@](#): > > Sorry, let me start over. Some men are wimpy and easily pushed around. Then, there are some who can’t be pushed with a steamroller. Guess which ones we’re more attracted to? The latter. I’m learning to be that guy. ---
**Author:** ![glee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b5a626/32.png) [@glee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glee)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2006, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-turn-men-into-bastards/338838/23 "2006-01-08T01:21:23Z")
> [@Lobsang](#): > > She wrote a message on my phone because she wanted to do the wording… the idea was that it would be a message I wrote to send to some random person. And that I would pretend to have sent it to the wrong person, the person I dislike. > > But then she handed it back to me unsent because she made an error and didn’t know how to fix it. > > In the prosess of triyng to fix it I clicked ‘send’ by mistake. So the pretend message-to-the-wrong-person which I did not intend to actually send got accidentally sent. > And then I went and told him what I and everyone thinks of him. In person. > > I broke the guy’s heart. He’s here now. Let me just check the facts: A hot chick asked to borrow your phone to deviously let someone you dislike know that you dislike them. You let her do this, because your p_n_s was in control of your actions… She messed up, and you tried to correct the mistake (presumably before giving her the phone back so **she** could send the message). **You** accidentally sent the message. You then told the guy in person that you disliked him. This upset him, and you blame the woman. Hmmm. 😕 It might be interesting to allocate blame between the woman, your brain and your p_n_s, but I will instead suggest that you need to educate your p_n_s to be impressed by a different sort of woman. ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2006, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-turn-men-into-bastards/338838/24 "2006-01-08T01:28:06Z")
If we’re being pedantic about it… of course the blame cannot be laid solely on the woman. Or indeed _at all_. My point, and my thread title is based on the idea that Love makes a man do things he would not normally do. She exists, I know her, I love her, I let her have my phone for this purpose, The message got sent. Like I said the guy is tolerable when he’s alone… and I can tolerate annoying people when I am of sound mind… but since I met this girl (and especially recently) my mind is far from ‘sound’. ---
**Author:** ![Ephemera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8baadc/32.png) [@Ephemera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ephemera)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2006, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-turn-men-into-bastards/338838/25 "2006-01-08T01:53:45Z")
No one’s being pedantic. You were stupid, let your dick control your thoughts and actions and then when you fucked up, you tried to blame it on the woman you “love”. You seriously need some help, here. You’re making a spectacle of yourself and I mean that in the very worst way. ---
**Author:** ![MelCthefirst](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eada6e/32.png) [@MelCthefirst](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MelCthefirst)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2006, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-turn-men-into-bastards/338838/26 "2006-01-08T02:03:28Z")
Does this dislike of this guy have anything to do with the fact that he likes this same girl? and/or do you see yourself in this guy and not want to acknowledge that his weak points are yours too? ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2006, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-turn-men-into-bastards/338838/27 "2006-01-08T02:08:38Z")
> [@Aesiron](#): > > No one’s being pedantic. You were stupid, let your dick control your thoughts and actions and then when you fucked up, you tried to blame it on the woman you “love”. > > You seriously need some help, here. You’re making a spectacle of yourself and I mean that in the very worst way. You and I have had our differences before. You are the one. The only. Doper who has said things to me that have hurt my feelings. Having said that I know I did the wrong thing. I know I was stupid. My penis was not in control here… it was my mind all the way. My penis gets all that it asks for. It’s my mind that longs for what it can’t have. In which group am I making a spectacle of myself?? Are you refering to the SDMB or my group of in-person friends or both? ---
**Author:** ![Revenant\_Threshold](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f1d935/32.png) [@Revenant\_Threshold](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revenant_Threshold)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2006, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-turn-men-into-bastards/338838/28 "2006-01-08T02:16:26Z")
Perhaps a better title might have been “This Woman brings out the Bastard in Me”? ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2006, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-turn-men-into-bastards/338838/29 "2006-01-08T02:16:28Z")
Oh please. This woman didn’t make you do squat. Stand up and take responsibility for yourself. (BTW, was it “her?”) ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2006, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-turn-men-into-bastards/338838/30 "2006-01-08T02:16:58Z")
FYI My boss has been asking _me_ for advice on how to fire this guy. My boss is a COO of the company. He’s ten years older than me. What does it say that he’s asking his subordinates for this kind of advice??? ---
**Author:** ![Ephemera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8baadc/32.png) [@Ephemera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ephemera)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2006, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-turn-men-into-bastards/338838/31 "2006-01-08T02:19:05Z")
> [@Lobsang](#): > > In which group am I making a spectacle of myself?? Are you refering to the SDMB or my group of in-person friends or both? Not knowing you in person, I can’t say whether or not you’re making a spectacle of yourself to your offline friends but these weekly billets-doux are misconceived and positively embarassing to read. ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2006, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-turn-men-into-bastards/338838/32 "2006-01-08T02:24:22Z")
> [@Aesiron](#): > > Not knowing you in person, I can’t say whether or not you’re making a spectacle of yourself to your offline friends but these weekly billets-doux are misconceived and positively embarassing to read. Well, I am inexorably more seemingly ‘in control’ with my ‘offline friends’ than you seem to believe. I still have integrity with my aquaintances ---
**Author:** ![Ephemera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8baadc/32.png) [@Ephemera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ephemera)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2006, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-turn-men-into-bastards/338838/33 "2006-01-08T02:29:39Z")
I never implied a single thing about your relationship with your acquaintances. All I know of you is what you post and, I say this without rancor, you _really_ need to get it together or at least stop painting such an unflattering picture of yourself. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2006, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-turn-men-into-bastards/338838/34 "2006-01-08T02:31:57Z")
> [@Aesiron](#): > > No one’s being pedantic. You were stupid, let your dick control your thoughts and actions and then when you fucked up, you tried to blame it on the woman you “love”. Well put. **Lobsang** , being in love with this girl - if that’s what this is - is not an excuse for anything. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2006, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-turn-men-into-bastards/338838/35 "2006-01-08T02:41:29Z")
> [@Lobsang](#): > > Well, I am inexorably more seemingly ‘in control’ with my ‘offline friends’ than you seem to believe. I still have integrity with my aquaintances I don’t care what you’re like in real life-it’s how you represent yourself here that counts, because that’s all we have to go on. Please, seriously, seek help. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2006, 3:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-turn-men-into-bastards/338838/36 "2006-01-08T03:55:58Z")
You don’t see anything wrong about you and he both liking this girl, her knowing it, and her “encouraging” you to send him a text message saying he’s a jerk, going so far as to write the message for you? You once said that she manipulates people, but doesn’t manipulate you. Riiiiight. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2006, 7:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-turn-men-into-bastards/338838/37 "2006-01-08T07:18:25Z")
> [@Lobsang](#): > > You and I have had our differences before. You are the one. The only. Doper who has said things to me that have hurt my feelings.\ **Aesiron** might have been the only one who has said things to hurt your feelings, but he’s not the only one thinking them. This thread is complete garbage. ---
**Author:** ![bobkitty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c67d28/32.png) [@bobkitty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bobkitty)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2006, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-turn-men-into-bastards/338838/38 "2006-01-08T15:10:06Z")
> [@featherlou](#): > > **Aesiron** might have been the only one who has said things to hurt your feelings, but he’s not the only one thinking them. This thread is complete garbage. Indeed he’s not. Lobsang, please join the party [here.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=6974507#post6974507) ---
**Author:** ![dangermom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e274bd/32.png) [@dangermom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dangermom)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2006, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-turn-men-into-bastards/338838/39 "2006-01-08T15:45:40Z")
So, wait, you think _that guy_ is the one with problems? And you dislike him because of the way he acts around this girl? Perhaps you should be taking a look in the mirror, because that sounds very familiar. Though really you dislike him because he’s with this girl, right? Look, I don’t want to be harsh, and I’m sorry you’re having a hard time, but your posts in the last few months have been getting disturbing and weird. You need help. At the very least you need to stop obsessing over this girl. Get some help. ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2006, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-turn-men-into-bastards/338838/40 "2006-01-08T15:58:04Z")
**Lobsang** , I haven’t read of any of the other incidents surrounding your attraction to this woman, only this one. Let me offer you some advice in the spirit of brotherhood: Go to your car, or borrow one if you don’t have one. Slam the driver’s side door on your genitals four or five times _really hard_. Perhaps with little Lobsang out of commission for a time you’ll be able to think more clearly about this woman. I can understand you wanting to nail her. There were/are lots of women I consider emminently nailable; some of whom I actually even did nail. _Key Point Coming Up._ At no point did I ever win a fair maiden’s hand by behaving as a clueless dufus. For the guy whose feelings you hurt, offer an apology, but not excuses. He’s a guy. We’re used to having our feelings crushed by life itself. He’ll recover. For Her: Gird up thy loins as a man. No more cutesy games, especially when drunk. Even if she turns you down flat, you’ll be in a better spot than frightful, embarassing debacles like this one. I’ve watched a goodly number of my friends carry torches and behave foolishly over some particular woman. None of them accomplished anything but looking foolish. Certainly, the women in question were never inspired with love by their actions. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-turn-men-into-bastards/338838.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-turn-men-into-bastards/338838.md?page=3)