# Women want men to look at their eyes, not at their breasts **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 4, 2003, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-want-men-to-look-at-their-eyes-not-at-their-breasts/166361 "2003-04-04T02:06:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![rumraisin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8e7dd6/32.png) [@rumraisin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rumraisin)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2003, 4:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-want-men-to-look-at-their-eyes-not-at-their-breasts/166361/41 "2003-04-05T04:42:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by AntaresJB \* > \*\*I still someday really want to own a shirt that says, in smaller-than-usual type, directly across the boobage, “Stop staring at my tits”. It would be highly amusing, I think. 😃 > \*\* I’ve seen such a shirt… it was from French Connection and it read “stop staring at ma boobies” ---
**Author:** ![vasyachkin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/c5a1d2/32.png) [@vasyachkin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vasyachkin)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2003, 6:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-want-men-to-look-at-their-eyes-not-at-their-breasts/166361/42 "2003-04-05T06:50:09Z")
which reminds me of that chick in the club who had, in huge red letters written on her tank top “FUCK ME” but if we’re talking about job, i would just reach for some piece of paper and start making diagrams on it for illustration purposes. ---
**Author:** ![Tusculan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecd19e/32.png) [@Tusculan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tusculan)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2003, 7:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-want-men-to-look-at-their-eyes-not-at-their-breasts/166361/43 "2003-04-05T07:54:16Z")
If I’m seated, I try to lean back in my chair and stare momentarily at the ceiling, supposedly thinking about the subject at hand. ---
**Author:** ![Urban\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Urban\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Urban_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2003, 9:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-want-men-to-look-at-their-eyes-not-at-their-breasts/166361/44 "2003-04-05T09:00:48Z")
It depends. If you have some written notes, you can switch from looking in her eyes and the notes. Alternatively, you can glance at her eyebrows, nose, or forehead. If you have a printout, you can have both of you look at it. Remember, look at her when she speaks, but you don’t have to when it is your turn. ---
**Author:** ![elfje](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e19b73/32.png) [@elfje](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfje)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2003, 9:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-want-men-to-look-at-their-eyes-not-at-their-breasts/166361/45 "2003-04-05T09:01:12Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Zenster \* > \*\*Blatantly staring at women’s breasts whilst conversing is just plain rude. > > Expecting men not to look at a gal’s cleavage? I’ll quote The Simpsons’ Doctor Hibbert: > > “Sure, and Hillbillys want to be called ‘sons of the soil,’ but it ain’t going to happen.” \*\* I think I’ll go with this one. Sums it up quite nicely. ---
**Author:** ![Urban\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Urban\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Urban_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2003, 9:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-want-men-to-look-at-their-eyes-not-at-their-breasts/166361/46 "2003-04-05T09:04:47Z")
Oh, you can also glance down at your own nose. ---
**Author:** ![Tusculan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecd19e/32.png) [@Tusculan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tusculan)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2003, 9:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-want-men-to-look-at-their-eyes-not-at-their-breasts/166361/47 "2003-04-05T09:08:40Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Urban Ranger \* > \*\*Oh, you can also glance down at your own nose. \*\* You can, but she might mistake that downwards glance for a look at her _frontal aspect_. Unless she’s much taller than you are, that is. (Then you’ll be looking at her crotch 😃 ) ---
**Author:** ![SoulFrost](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f07891/32.png) [@SoulFrost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SoulFrost)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2003, 10:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-want-men-to-look-at-their-eyes-not-at-their-breasts/166361/48 "2003-04-05T10:20:58Z")
Then, of course, some ladies’ eyes are so captivating that I… almost… forget they have breasts. Doesn’t happen often, though. -David ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2003, 10:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-want-men-to-look-at-their-eyes-not-at-their-breasts/166361/49 "2003-04-05T10:57:09Z")
There’s a girl who’s eyes cause me to think - “Life _ **is** _ worth living!” ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2003, 11:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-want-men-to-look-at-their-eyes-not-at-their-breasts/166361/50 "2003-04-05T11:07:56Z")
To make that a less ‘lame’ post - There’s a girl I first noticed serving at a semi-famous restraunt on this island I live on. I was at that restraunt once. I noticed her, It was her eyes more than anything else that I noticed first and most of all, because it felt like they had made an instant ‘hack’ right into the centre of the part of my brain that controls love. Sod. I made it _more_/ lame! ---
**Author:** ![Tusculan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecd19e/32.png) [@Tusculan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tusculan)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2003, 11:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-want-men-to-look-at-their-eyes-not-at-their-breasts/166361/51 "2003-04-05T11:16:12Z")
**Lobsang** : 😃 I feel for ya. No, really. With some women I have a similar experience, especially if they have rather light-coloured eyes. It makes me notice them more which (in geek-language) spawns off another thread running in the background of my brain, thinking [bg]‘Hey, those are really light eyes. Remarkable that, isn’t it? Would she notice that too when she’s looking? Of course not, she sees through her pupils. But what when she looks in the mirror? I guess she must have gotten used to it. Oh dear, what was she talking about? Should I reply? Oh, shit, yes, I’ve got to say something’[/bg] [fg]uuuuh[/fg] For being in love I might actually prefer dark eyes, which make me swoon and think of romantic things to say. Is this getting a hijack know? Sorry, I wasn’t paying attention. Boobies, isn’t it? ---
**Author:** ![LurkMeister](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3da27b/32.png) [@LurkMeister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkMeister)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2003, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-want-men-to-look-at-their-eyes-not-at-their-breasts/166361/52 "2003-04-05T14:13:29Z")
I once saw a woman at an SF con wearing a button that read, “Yes, they are nice, aren’t they?” They were, too, IIRC. 😃 I’m more of a butt man, myself Yes, everyone agrees I’m an ass and actually find smaller breasts sexier. Despite this, I often find my eyes drawn toward large breasts, particularly when they’re “on display” in low-cut, tight or open clothing. Damned if I know why. ---
**Author:** ![Mudling](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5fc32e/32.png) [@Mudling](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mudling)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2003, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-want-men-to-look-at-their-eyes-not-at-their-breasts/166361/53 "2003-04-05T14:41:30Z")
If women wear tight low cut tops then what do they expect than to get wandering eyes from everyone. They’re bloody asking for it. I can not stand having someone in front of me baring full on cleavage because how can I NOT look. This is why I personally never wear anything too tight or revealing myself, I hate being looked at. ---
**Author:** ![groo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ecd19e/32.png) [@groo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/groo)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2003, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-want-men-to-look-at-their-eyes-not-at-their-breasts/166361/54 "2003-04-05T15:48:32Z")
I have to look away from their eyes when talking to pretty women at work because looking only at their eyes starts feeling too intimate. After years of experience, I’ve beaten my libido (heh) into submission to the point where my only work-related breastal observation is through my peripheral vision. Not sure if my female coworkers notice or appreciate this difficult effort in self-denial. Regarding the OP, with all of my coworkers of both sexes, I dart my eyes off to the side, staring briefly into space/the wall/the whiteboard. Seems to work. However, I made a big slip a couple of weeks ago: I was in the middle of a long explanation in a group of seven male coworkers (and I’m their team leader), and an attractive female coworker poked her head in the door to deliver a message to one of the guys. Everyone turned to look at her and after she left, everyone seemed lost in thought, continuing to look at the open doorway. Since I’d been in the middle of a sentence, the onus was on me to break the spell and get back to the subject at hand, but my mouth started going before my brain was ready, so, in slow motion, here’s how it went: “So, anyway …” _(What was I talking about?)_ “As I was saying …” _(It had something to do with … what?)_ “Um …” _(Staring into space; lost it – let’s step back to the overall subject of the meeting)_ (Exhaling slowly, surveying the room) _(The married guys are grinning at me because they’re on to me … Why did I call this meeting? There was something definitely important because it’s Friday afternoon!)_ “Okay, \_\_\_\_\_, help me here. What was I talking about?” _(Total admission of defeat)._ This was a big contrast from my usual demeanor – I tend to talk a lot, and fairly rapidly. In my defense, I think I’ve done a good job over the past year or so cultivating a gender-neutral (okay, a eunuch’s) relationship with her, and this all happened out of her view. And I hadn’t looked at her breasts; just her face. What was disconcerting (in a good way) was that the sight of this woman just stopped my brain in its tracks for awhile. I wish it happened more often. ---
**Author:** ![groo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ecd19e/32.png) [@groo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/groo)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2003, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-want-men-to-look-at-their-eyes-not-at-their-breasts/166361/55 "2003-04-05T15:54:52Z")
I have to look away from their eyes when talking to pretty women at work because looking only at their eyes starts feeling too intimate. After years of experience, I’ve beaten my libido (heh) into submission to the point where my only work-related breastal observation is through my peripheral vision. Not sure if my female coworkers notice or appreciate this difficult effort in self-denial. Regarding the OP, with all of my coworkers of both sexes, I dart my eyes off to the side, staring briefly into space/the wall/the whiteboard. Seems to work. However, I made a big slip a couple of weeks ago: I was in the middle of a long explanation in a group of seven male coworkers (and I’m their team leader), and an attractive female coworker poked her head in the door to deliver a message to one of the guys. Everyone turned to look at her and after she left, everyone seemed lost in thought, continuing to look at the open doorway. Since I’d been in the middle of a sentence, the onus was on me to break the spell and get back to the subject at hand, but my mouth started going before my brain was ready, so, in slow motion, here’s how it went: “So, anyway …” _(What was I talking about?)_ “As I was saying …” _(It had something to do with … what?)_ “Um …” _(Staring into space; lost it – let’s step back to the overall subject of the meeting)_ (Exhaling slowly, surveying the room) _(The married guys are grinning at me because they’re on to me … Why did I call this meeting? There was something definitely important because it’s Friday afternoon!)_ “Okay, \_\_\_\_\_, help me here. What was I talking about?” _(Total admission of defeat)._ This was a big contrast from my usual demeanor – I tend to talk a lot, and fairly rapidly. In my defense, I think I’ve done a good job over the past year or so cultivating a gender-neutral (okay, a eunuch’s) relationship with her, and this all happened out of her view. And I hadn’t looked at her breasts; just her face. What was disconcerting (in a good way) was that the sight of this woman just stopped my brain in its tracks for awhile. I wish it happened more often. ---
**Author:** ![Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/258eb7/32.png) [@Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranger)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2003, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-want-men-to-look-at-their-eyes-not-at-their-breasts/166361/56 "2003-04-05T16:13:06Z")
I recall an old SNL sketch. I think Raquel Welch was the guest host that week. The sketch was about the earth being invaded by female aliens (maybe it was another Star Trek skit?). You could tell they were aliens because their eyes were on (in?) their breasts. That way they would always have eye contact with any earth males they were talking to. Anyone else remember this one? ---
**Author:** ![Davebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@Davebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Davebear)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2003, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-want-men-to-look-at-their-eyes-not-at-their-breasts/166361/57 "2003-04-05T16:23:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Urban Ranger \* > \*\*Oh, you can also glance down at your own nose. \*\* Yeah. Going cross-eyed in the middle of a business conversation is always a good idea. It shows you’re management material. 😃 My take on this is that some women are going to be hyper-sensitive to this issue, no matter what we do. The majority are probably fine with the normal “flicks” or up-down motion. Personally, I usually do the “over the shoulder” look, but I’m sure it’s not 100% of the time. I figure, as long as I’m not staring, she’s got no _legitimate_ complaint. I have more of a problem with eye contact, myself, if I find a woman attractive. I get all paranoid about the “too much/too little” issue. But, that’s a different topic. ---
**Author:** ![chappachula](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/d2c977/32.png) [@chappachula](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chappachula)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2003, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-want-men-to-look-at-their-eyes-not-at-their-breasts/166361/58 "2003-04-05T17:52:46Z")
I once saw a T-shirt on a tall blonde with ample curves–that said: “I wish these were brains” ---
**Author:** ![mr.splitfoot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8e8cbc/32.png) [@mr.splitfoot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mr.splitfoot)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2003, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-want-men-to-look-at-their-eyes-not-at-their-breasts/166361/59 "2003-04-05T21:13:06Z")
I decided to do some research on this last night. So my friends and I went out for drinks, met some more friends, and I started up the conversation with all of the females. Well, 10 drinks and 45 min later, I was pretty drunk. In fact, I don’t remember most of what anyone said. But I’m pretty sure most women said that they didn’t really get that offended by a glance or two. ---
**Author:** ![Achernar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e274bd/32.png) [@Achernar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Achernar)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2003, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-want-men-to-look-at-their-eyes-not-at-their-breasts/166361/60 "2003-04-05T21:20:25Z")
Well, when we rely on such impeccable research methods as that, it’s hard to see how there could be any confusion on the matter. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-want-men-to-look-at-their-eyes-not-at-their-breasts/166361.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-want-men-to-look-at-their-eyes-not-at-their-breasts/166361.md?page=4)