# Women; what do you think when a guy says you're pretty? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 3, 2010, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-what-do-you-think-when-a-guy-says-youre-pretty/534841 "2010-04-03T18:29:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Serenata67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/serenata67/32/10646_2.png) [@Serenata67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Serenata67)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2010, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-what-do-you-think-when-a-guy-says-youre-pretty/534841/21 "2010-04-04T01:25:46Z")
> [@Alice\_The\_Goon](#): > > I s’pose context is important in this. Like I said, if I’m hearing it from someone that I just met or haven’t even met yet ala online dating, I’m going to be suspicious. If I hear it from a boyfriend of 2 years, after I’ve spent 4 hours getting all glammed up to go somewhere special, then it would have some meaning to it. This. If my husband said, “I love you, you beautiful woman,” I’d smile and glow and all that good stuff. Now if some guy I didn’t know in a bar came up to me and said, “You’re pretty,” I’d be thinking, “Really?” I always liked the more sincere, detail-oriented compliments. “That’s a very unique purse” or “You look very elegant with your hair up” or “That shade of blue brings out your eyes, and once I saw them, I thought I must talk to you” would be better. Yeah, they’re lines, but they’re real observations. Something specific about me. Not just anything like, “You got a purty mouth.” ---
**Author:** ![carnut](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnut/32/3531_2.png) [@carnut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnut)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2010, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-what-do-you-think-when-a-guy-says-youre-pretty/534841/22 "2010-04-04T01:38:11Z")
I think I can tell by how it is said whether or not it is a come-on. Years (and pounds) ago, I used to be a runway model. Guys were tripping over themselves to go out with a model and it got tiresome - I could never tell if the guy was actually interested in me or in being able to say “I’ve got a date with a model.” If “you’re beautiful” was their litany, I dropped 'em like a hot potato. I quit modeling, gained some weight, and all those guys disappeared. Suddenly, the only ones that were hitting on me, were obviously interested in ME. They rarely said “you’re beautiful” but the “you’re smart” “you’re sweet” and “you’ve got cute toes” let me know they were seeing me, not my job. I’m now gray and fat and I look across the table at the very homely man of mine and I think “Gee, he’s beautiful” because he is beautiful - on the inside. ---
**Author:** ![salinqmind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3ec8ea/32.png) [@salinqmind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/salinqmind)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2010, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-what-do-you-think-when-a-guy-says-youre-pretty/534841/23 "2010-04-04T02:36:59Z")
I say, “yeah? thanks.” What am I supposed to do? Be gobsmacked by enlightenment? Be grateful some man noticed? You say “you’re pretty” to me, and I think - SO? Thanks for your keen observation, and thanks for sharing that startling information, bub. Basically, doesn’t mean much coming from some random guy. Different thing coming from an SO, where it’s meaningful. It would be rather sickening to be told “you’re pretty, you’re pretty” all the time, by anyone. it would make me irritated and think that they were, uh, differently abled. As a pickup line, it’s worthless. As a real expression from someone I was involved with, it would be nice. Carnut, what you said. I liked your post! It is the real thing. ---
**Author:** ![zweisamkeit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zweisamkeit/32/4360_2.png) [@zweisamkeit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zweisamkeit)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2010, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-what-do-you-think-when-a-guy-says-youre-pretty/534841/24 "2010-04-04T03:56:29Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > Guy here: I tend to find complimenting on something specific to be more effective. Flat out telling someone they look beautiful always seems to be interpreted as a come on from me, unless the person actually knows me. > > Thus, I am surprised that some of you don’t automatically think that with that phrasing. This is what I was going to say. In general, comments about something I’m wearing will go over better than “you’re pretty”. But even compliments about things I can’t control will sound nicer if they’re specific. When the Starbucks drive through guy handed me my drink and said, “You have the most beautiful eyes!” with the constant eye contact and smile? Heck yes I know that was a blatant flirt attempt but it was wayyyyy nicer than just, “hey, you’re really gorgeous!” or something like that. ---
**Author:** ![Perciful](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/b38774/32.png) [@Perciful](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Perciful)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2010, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-what-do-you-think-when-a-guy-says-youre-pretty/534841/25 "2010-04-04T04:15:46Z")
I just say, Thank You. It’s a compliment and it’s a nice thing to hear. I don’t think anything about it really. It sure beats, you look awful 😉 ---
**Author:** ![PandaBear77](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/edb3f5/32.png) [@PandaBear77](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PandaBear77)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2010, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-what-do-you-think-when-a-guy-says-youre-pretty/534841/26 "2010-04-04T04:36:26Z")
I’m flattered and it pretty much makes my day. ---
**Author:** ![Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hilarity_n.suze/32/6223_2.png) [@Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hilarity_N.Suze)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2010, 5:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-what-do-you-think-when-a-guy-says-youre-pretty/534841/27 "2010-04-04T05:21:58Z")
I eat it up–but I almost always think it’s a line. I thought so even when I picked my son up at day care when he was maybe 7, and a little girl near him told him, “Your mom is pretty!” I figured this meant she liked him and wanted to say something flattering. He was clueless. ---
**Author:** ![amarinth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3be4f8/32.png) [@amarinth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/amarinth)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2010, 8:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-what-do-you-think-when-a-guy-says-youre-pretty/534841/28 "2010-04-04T08:22:36Z")
I assume he works on tips or commission. Or he’s really drunk. When I hear “really pretty” it means he’s really drunk and it’s close to closing time. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2010, 9:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-what-do-you-think-when-a-guy-says-youre-pretty/534841/29 "2010-04-04T09:04:07Z")
> [@NinetyWt](#): > > I disagree. I don’t want anybody saying ANY thing to me until I’ve had a cup of coffee. 😉 Best get a night-cam to see if he is saying something to you before you wake up. [MY CUP RUNNETH OVER, from the musical “I Do! I Do!” (1966):](http://lyricsplayground.com/alpha/songs/m/mycuprunnethover.shtml) > [@](#): > > SOMETIMES IN THE MORNING WHEN SHADOWS ARE DEEP, > I LIE HERE BESIDE YOU, JUST WATCHING YOU SLEEP, > AND SOMETIMES I WHISPER WHAT I’M THINKING OF, > MY CUP RUNNETH OVER WITH LOVE. ---
**Author:** ![HazelNutCoffee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ac91a4/32.png) [@HazelNutCoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HazelNutCoffee)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2010, 9:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-what-do-you-think-when-a-guy-says-youre-pretty/534841/30 "2010-04-04T09:22:49Z")
From my boyfriend: flattering From a guy friend: also flattering From a random guy: could be flattering, depending on his attitude From a child: ultimate compliment! ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2010, 11:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-what-do-you-think-when-a-guy-says-youre-pretty/534841/31 "2010-04-04T11:01:18Z")
> [@PandaBear77](#): > > I’m flattered and it pretty much makes my day. Hey, you’re pretty. Glad I could be of assistance. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Jennyrosity](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/2bfe46/32.png) [@Jennyrosity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jennyrosity)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2010, 11:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-what-do-you-think-when-a-guy-says-youre-pretty/534841/32 "2010-04-04T11:06:10Z")
> [@salinqmind](#): > > I say, “yeah? thanks.” What am I supposed to do? Be gobsmacked by enlightenment? Be grateful some man noticed? You say “you’re pretty” to me, and I think - SO? Thanks for your keen observation, and thanks for sharing that startling information, bub. Basically, doesn’t mean much coming from some random guy. Different thing coming from an SO, where it’s meaningful. It would be rather sickening to be told “you’re pretty, you’re pretty” all the time, by anyone. it would make me irritated and think that they were, uh, differently abled. As a pickup line, it’s worthless. As a real expression from someone I was involved with, it would be nice. Pretty much this. I hear it a lot (I’m not beautiful, but I do have the easy-on-the-eye prettiness that people seem to like), and my reaction is almost always “um, thanks.” The thing this, I’ve been genetically lucky when it comes to my looks - my whole family is good-looking - so it’s not something I feel I can take any credit for. It’s like getting complimented on being tall or having blue eyes - something I’ve had nothing to do with. I’d much rather be complimented on my personality, or my career achievements, which I’ve actually had to work on, but I guess in the context of the OP that kind of thing is not so relevant! ---
**Author:** ![NinetyWt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/cc9497/32.png) [@NinetyWt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinetyWt)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2010, 1:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-what-do-you-think-when-a-guy-says-youre-pretty/534841/33 "2010-04-04T13:41:33Z")
> [@Muffin](#): > > Best get a night-cam to see if he is saying something to you before you wake up. Well he does talk in his sleep quite a bit, so maybe he is. The other night we had a hilarious (in retrospect) fight over my pillow. He had grabbed it in his sleep and pulled it out from under my head. I had a devil of a time gettting it back. ETA: I remember singing that song … I used to know all the lyrics to it. ---
**Author:** ![Silvorange](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8dc957/32.png) [@Silvorange](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silvorange)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2010, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-what-do-you-think-when-a-guy-says-youre-pretty/534841/34 "2010-04-04T15:48:43Z")
I enjoy compliments on my appearance from people I know. If a strange man comes up and tells me I’m beautiful, he is usually about to ask me for money. I can do without any compliments from the OP. People who talk about “true beauty” being on the inside and can’t appreciate physical beauty always seem smug to me. ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2010, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-what-do-you-think-when-a-guy-says-youre-pretty/534841/35 "2010-04-04T16:00:07Z")
> [@Silvorange](#): > > People who talk about “true beauty” being on the inside and can’t appreciate physical beauty always seem smug to me. Agreed. I also tend to get annoyed by people who refer to me as shallow because I have physical standards. I mean, they wouldn’t have sex with someone that _they_ weren’t attracted to, yet because I’m not attracted to women that they are, I must be shallow. ---
**Author:** ![nashiitashii](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/7c8e57/32.png) [@nashiitashii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nashiitashii)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2010, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-what-do-you-think-when-a-guy-says-youre-pretty/534841/36 "2010-04-04T16:10:35Z")
Compliments are nice when they’re specific, but it’s also a contextual thing too-- are you paying attention to my face, looking elsewhere; do you have a facial expression that expresses interest and confidence, or the sad look of a desperate man trying to please someone he doesn’t think he has a chance of getting? There’s a lot to it, and just being up front and honest about interest is a good start; be friendly and casual and follow her lead a little. I like the attention, but since I’m not single, it being a meaningful “I want something more than to get in your pants” compliment or an “I’m just being friendly” compliment doesn’t make a big difference to me than the “I am only trying to get in your pants” compliment. When I was single, however, I felt flattered by most of them but generally looked for red flags in behavior for all three just in case there was something hinting just under the surface that I didn’t want to get to know the person better-- after all, stalkers, abusers and serial killers can all seem nice at first. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2010, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-what-do-you-think-when-a-guy-says-youre-pretty/534841/37 "2010-04-04T16:25:32Z")
> [@Jennyrosity](#): > > I’d much rather be complimented on my personality, or my career achievements, which I’ve actually had to work on, but I guess in the context of the OP that kind of thing is not so relevant! You have taken your chosen field by storm, and your presence lights up a room. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2010, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-what-do-you-think-when-a-guy-says-youre-pretty/534841/38 "2010-04-04T16:56:36Z")
> [@HazelNutCoffee](#): > > From a child: ultimate compliment! Ah yes, children. I forgot about them. A thousand years ago, I was at the home of one of my then-boyfriend’s family members, and a little boy kept staring at me, then eventually said “You’re pretty!” then buried his hands in his face, and started giggling uncontrollably. He was maybe three years old? It was the cutest thing I had ever seen. I almost died. ---
**Author:** ![Maggie\_the\_Ocelot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df705f/32.png) [@Maggie\_the\_Ocelot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maggie_the_Ocelot)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2010, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-what-do-you-think-when-a-guy-says-youre-pretty/534841/39 "2010-04-04T17:27:24Z")
Due to some nasty crap my peers pulled in my early adolescence, my first reaction is suspicion. What do they want? I immediately look for their bunch of friends who are giggling and making bets about whether he’ll actually go through with asking out the ugly geeky girl. Then I remember that we’re not in junior high anymore, but I’m still wary. I have never, EVER accepted a drink from a man I don’t know, nor given him my phone number. Being happily married now, I don’t intend to start. That said, the same words coming from a friend or my husband make me all happy and glow-y. But I have to trust you _first_ before you get to say shit like that to me. (I realize that this makes it sound like I had zero social/sex life back when I was single. I assure you the opposite is true! But I had to be the one to make the first move, and/or they had to be a friend already before that.) ---
**Author:** ![Rushgeekgirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rushgeekgirl/32/3715_2.png) [@Rushgeekgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rushgeekgirl)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2010, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-what-do-you-think-when-a-guy-says-youre-pretty/534841/40 "2010-04-04T17:29:59Z")
I’d be as tickled as if a girl told me I was pretty. It might even make my day. However, I’d know it was a lie and I’d be suspicious because I’m not pretty. Still…awww…Someone thinks I’m pretty! At my age too! weeee!!! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-what-do-you-think-when-a-guy-says-youre-pretty/534841.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-what-do-you-think-when-a-guy-says-youre-pretty/534841.md?page=3)