# Women; what do you think when a guy says you're pretty? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 3, 2010, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-what-do-you-think-when-a-guy-says-youre-pretty/534841 "2010-04-03T18:29:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![KarlGrenze](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/dbc845/32.png) [@KarlGrenze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KarlGrenze)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2010, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-what-do-you-think-when-a-guy-says-youre-pretty/534841/41 "2010-04-04T17:33:38Z")
I’ve learned to accept compliments. I went too long without them, and they feel good, dammit! And I say “Thank you.”. Really, those words are just a compliment, they’re not an entitlement for a blowjob. If he wants more he’d better do something more, and for my part, there’s nothing wrong with accepting what he said as truth, at least for him (even though I may disagree). ---
**Author:** ![Jennyrosity](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/2bfe46/32.png) [@Jennyrosity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jennyrosity)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2010, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-what-do-you-think-when-a-guy-says-youre-pretty/534841/42 "2010-04-04T18:32:54Z")
> [@Robot\_Arm](#): > > You have taken your chosen field by storm, and your presence lights up a room. Aww, thank you very much! ---
**Author:** ![PandaBear77](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/edb3f5/32.png) [@PandaBear77](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PandaBear77)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2010, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-what-do-you-think-when-a-guy-says-youre-pretty/534841/43 "2010-04-04T18:33:12Z")
> [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > Hey, you’re pretty. > > Glad I could be of assistance. 😛 _kicks the dirt_ Aww, shucks 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2010, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-what-do-you-think-when-a-guy-says-youre-pretty/534841/44 "2010-04-04T21:01:18Z")
> [@Jennyrosity](#): > > Aww, thank you very much! You’re welcome. I could probably come up with something even better if we’d ever actually met. ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2010, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-what-do-you-think-when-a-guy-says-youre-pretty/534841/45 "2010-04-04T21:03:39Z")
I was going to make this post a message to every girl who posted in this thread saying “Hey, you’re pretty.” Then I realized how many people had posted in this thread and I decided it was too much work for a joke. Consider this a “Hey, you’re pretty” to everyone. ---
**Author:** ![TheFaerie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c57346/32.png) [@TheFaerie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheFaerie)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2010, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-what-do-you-think-when-a-guy-says-youre-pretty/534841/46 "2010-04-04T21:21:43Z")
I think “Aww, s/he thinks I’m pretty,” and out loud I say “That’s sweet of you. Thank you.” I don’t worry myself about ulterior motives. ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2010, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-what-do-you-think-when-a-guy-says-youre-pretty/534841/47 "2010-04-05T02:26:03Z")
Laugh my ass off? Okay seriously…way back when I actually was pretty it would have depended. Was the guy being serious, or was it merely a “shotgun” approach he was using on the entire group of women anywhere near him, in a lame attempt to get laid? If the guy is sincere, thanks and appreciation are definitely in order. If you’re sincere don’t worry about how your motives will be taken. Most of us will appreciate it. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2010, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-what-do-you-think-when-a-guy-says-youre-pretty/534841/48 "2010-04-05T02:55:06Z")
Depends on who’s saying it. If it’s my husband, it melts me. If it’s some random person I don’t know, I am suspicious. If it’s someone of the opposite sex that I’m friends with, I’m deeply flattered. Now, I guess I should add that I do have some self-image issues. I don’t find it impossible to believe that someone might find me kind of cute, but it’s not really something I expect either. I tend to be more on the insecure side when it comes to my looks. It’s funny, I work at a nursing home and my favorite alzheimer’s ladies have a tendency to exclaim, ‘‘She’s so gorgeous, isn’t she?’’ Totally flattered, but also totally keeping in mind that their vision is kinda shaky! ---
**Author:** ![lshaw](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e36b37/32.png) [@lshaw](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lshaw)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2010, 8:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-what-do-you-think-when-a-guy-says-youre-pretty/534841/49 "2010-04-05T08:20:37Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > Ah yes, children. I forgot about them. A thousand years ago, I was at the home of one of my then-boyfriend’s family members, and a little boy kept staring at me, then eventually said “You’re pretty!” then buried his hands in his face, and started giggling uncontrollably. He was maybe three years old? It was the cutest thing I had ever seen. I almost died. Something similar to this happened to me too! I was waiting outside of a restaurant, and a little boy (maybe 5 years old) and his mother were sitting close by. The boy kept stealing glances at me every now and then. Finally, he burst out “You are really pretty!” and hid behind his mom. It was so cute. I am definitely flattered when a little kid says I’m pretty. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2010, 11:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-what-do-you-think-when-a-guy-says-youre-pretty/534841/50 "2010-04-05T11:20:58Z")
Note to guys: return the baby and stroller, and borrow a 5 year old boy. ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2010, 12:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-what-do-you-think-when-a-guy-says-youre-pretty/534841/51 "2010-04-05T12:48:15Z")
Naturally this has been researched at the [OKCupid blog OKTrends](http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/2009/09/14/online-dating-advice-exactly-what-to-say-in-a-first-message/). It is one of their 6 rules for an effective first message: Be literate Avoid physical compliments Use an unusual greeting Bring up specific interests If you’re a guy, be self-effacing Consider becoming an atheist Lots of interesting data digging here such as [How your race affects the messages you get.](http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/2009/10/05/your-race-affects-whether-people-write-you-back/). ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2010, 1:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-what-do-you-think-when-a-guy-says-youre-pretty/534841/52 "2010-04-05T13:01:10Z")
If there’s one thing I’m jealous of women for, it’s the compliments. I’m incredibly narcissistic and I enjoy every compliment I receive. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2010, 1:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-what-do-you-think-when-a-guy-says-youre-pretty/534841/53 "2010-04-05T13:18:59Z")
Hows come when I tell a female she is pretty, they always answer me, “Sorry, hun, it’s still fifty.”? ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2010, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-what-do-you-think-when-a-guy-says-youre-pretty/534841/54 "2010-04-05T13:52:18Z")
> [@don\_t\_ask](#): > > Be literate > Avoid physical compliments > Use an unusual greeting > Bring up specific interests > If you’re a guy, be self-effacing > Consider becoming an atheist Guten Tag, I was quite amused, disported, diverted, entertained, and regaled by your profile. I notice you like to have fun. What a coincidence, I like fun, too, but I’m not very good at it. Perhaps we could meet for coffee, I’m free on Sunday mornings. Robot Arm P.S. Rest assured, my interest has nothing whatsoever to do with the picture of your cleavage. ---
**Author:** ![breaking-reality](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a8b319/32.png) [@breaking-reality](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/breaking-reality)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2010, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-what-do-you-think-when-a-guy-says-youre-pretty/534841/55 "2010-04-05T14:26:41Z")
It depends on the context. I don’t think about ulterior motives (telling me I’m pretty isn’t really going to get you anywhere), but it doesn’t really wow me, either. If it’s a complete stranger telling me, then I just feel flattered. If it’s someone I’m dating, I tend to feel somewhat uncomfortable. There’s also a difference between “you’re pretty” and “wow, you look great tonight”. The latter will probably make me blush. ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2010, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-what-do-you-think-when-a-guy-says-youre-pretty/534841/56 "2010-04-05T14:41:23Z")
> [@breaking-reality](#): > > It depends on the context. I don’t think about ulterior motives (telling me I’m pretty isn’t really going to get you anywhere), but it doesn’t really wow me, either. If it’s a complete stranger telling me, then I just feel flattered. If it’s someone I’m dating, I tend to feel somewhat uncomfortable. There’s also a difference between “you’re pretty” and “wow, you look great tonight”. The latter will probably make me blush. Wait, really? You’re the first person who’s said that you’d feel MORE comfortable with a complete stranger telling you that you’re pretty than someone who you’re dating. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2010, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-what-do-you-think-when-a-guy-says-youre-pretty/534841/57 "2010-04-05T15:09:44Z")
> [@KarlGrenze](#): > > And I say “Thank you.”. Really, those words are just a compliment, they’re not an entitlement for a blowjob. If he wants more he’d better do something more, and for my part, there’s nothing wrong with accepting what he said as truth, at least for him (even though I may disagree). Well yeah, I don’t go “Please stop trying to force a blow job on me!” I say “Thank you” too, but I don’t feel good or bad when someone says I’m pretty. I just think “Sure, okay,” but say “Thanks.” > [@lshaw](#): > > Something similar to this happened to me too! I was waiting outside of a restaurant, and a little boy (maybe 5 years old) and his mother were sitting close by. The boy kept stealing glances at me every now and then. Finally, he burst out “You are really pretty!” and hid behind his mom. It was so cute. I am definitely flattered when a little kid says I’m pretty. Aww, I feel warm and fuzzy just reading that. Makes me remember how squishy I felt when it happened to me. It was like he worked up all his courage to say it. It was just adorable. ---
**Author:** ![badbadrubberpiggy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/57b2e6/32.png) [@badbadrubberpiggy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/badbadrubberpiggy)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2010, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-what-do-you-think-when-a-guy-says-youre-pretty/534841/58 "2010-04-05T15:26:00Z")
> [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > If there’s one thing I’m jealous of women for, it’s the compliments. I’m incredibly narcissistic and I enjoy every compliment I receive. Would it help if I told you you’re pretty? ---
**Author:** ![badbadrubberpiggy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/57b2e6/32.png) [@badbadrubberpiggy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/badbadrubberpiggy)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2010, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-what-do-you-think-when-a-guy-says-youre-pretty/534841/59 "2010-04-05T15:29:45Z")
I generally like it, but like others have said & implied, it’s often nicer when it’s said without any ulterior motive at all, like when a really little kid says it. There’s nothing wrong with appreciating physical beauty - it doesn’t mean you can’t appreciate inner beauty too. ---
**Author:** ![breaking-reality](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a8b319/32.png) [@breaking-reality](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/breaking-reality)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2010, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-what-do-you-think-when-a-guy-says-youre-pretty/534841/60 "2010-04-05T15:38:24Z")
> [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > Wait, really? You’re the first person who’s said that you’d feel MORE comfortable with a complete stranger telling you that you’re pretty than someone who you’re dating. It’s probably my insecurities shining through. 😛 I never really gave it much thought, but when someone I’m dating tells me I’m pretty it makes me nervous, whereas a stranger says it and I just say thanks and appreciate the attention. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-what-do-you-think-when-a-guy-says-youre-pretty/534841.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-what-do-you-think-when-a-guy-says-youre-pretty/534841.md?page=4)