# Women who hate having their breast fondled
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-who-hate-having-their-breast-fondled/237890
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion
**Created:** [April 2, 2004, 12:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-who-hate-having-their-breast-fondled/237890 "2004-04-02T12:38:37Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 2
### Author:  [@CrazyCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrazyCatLady)
#### Post date: [April 3, 2004, 8:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-who-hate-having-their-breast-fondled/237890/21 "2004-04-03T08:39:57Z")
Fondling is one thing. Grabbing, mashing, squeezing, and twisting are something else entirely. Unfortunately, a lot of guys don’t quite understand this distinction. They get…overenthusiastic, and assume that if gentle tweaking of the nipples is good, a purple nerple is great. Trust me, this assumption is wrong. Very, very wrong. In point of fact, such handling is somewhat less erotic than having Nelson Muntz pants you, then give you a wedgie, a wet willie, _and_ the dreaded rear admiral. If a woman has only experienced that sort of guy, she’s going to hate, hate, _hate_ having her breasts fooled with because at best it doesn’t feel particularly good and at worst it hurts like hell.
Other women are oversensitive, and again, they hate having their breasts touched because it hurts. I tend to get that way myself when the hormones are all in a stew.
How do you deal with not wanting your breasts touched? Well, you deal with it like any other sexual dislike. You communicate with your partner, and you find something else that you both enjoy. If the breasts aren’t an erogenous zone, you find out what is, and go for that. Of course, with proper handling of the most important erogenous zone, the brain, just about anything can _become_ an erogenous zone.
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### Author:  [@pepperlandgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pepperlandgirl)
#### Post date: [April 3, 2004, 9:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-who-hate-having-their-breast-fondled/237890/22 "2004-04-03T09:05:25Z")
> [@mornea](#):
>
> My nipples are pretty insensitive too and that seems to be the only place my SO is interested in kissing, etc. It is the most _infuriating_ thing when he just puts my nipples in his mouth and does a gentle sucking. You’d think after all my angry/disguted reactions to that he’d learn. It is just about the quickest way to turn me off sex for the night.
>
> It’s so insane though, my reaction, because it’s such a visceral one. Just absolute disgust and anger. It takes tremendous restraint to stop from outwardly reacting to strongly because I know he’s not doing it to annoy me.
>
> This doesn’t have anything to with any trauma I’ve suffered, and I do like his attention to my nipples when he’s a bit rougher and I can really feel the sensations. My breasts are not big (B cup) so I don’t think it can be broken down strictly by breast size.
It feels like I have the same conversation with my husband every night.
“Please don’t touch my nipples.”
“But they’re soft.”
“Please don’t touch my nipples!”
“But I like them.”
“Goddamnit, move your hand. I don’t _like_ that.”
“Look, let me rub you like this…you’ll start liking it eventually…”
He’s been saying that for five years. I haven’t started liking it. If he catches me in a bad mood, I’ll probably end up hurting his feelings by making mine known a little too forcefully.
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### Author:  [@ruadh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ruadh)
#### Post date: [April 3, 2004, 9:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-who-hate-having-their-breast-fondled/237890/23 "2004-04-03T09:10:14Z")
> [@nyctea scandiaca](#):
>
> Personally, I love it. I can’t imagine anyone who wouldn’t!
Same here. In fact, I may need to take a cold shower after reading this thread 😉
I’d fit **Antiochus** ’s theory, BTW. But I did have some breast issues growing up - I was one of the first in my class to grow them, and I absolutely _hated_ having them, at first. So I dunno …
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### Author:  [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)
#### Post date: [April 3, 2004, 9:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-who-hate-having-their-breast-fondled/237890/24 "2004-04-03T09:28:45Z")
> [@pestie](#):
>
> … she _loves_ her boobs! Seriously! She shows 'em to anyone who asks …
Why don’t I meet more women like this?
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### Author:  [@UselessGit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UselessGit)
#### Post date: [April 3, 2004, 1:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-who-hate-having-their-breast-fondled/237890/25 "2004-04-03T13:03:45Z")
> [@Snooooopy](#):
>
> Why don’t I meet more women like this?
Two words: \*[Hot d’Or](http://dir.salon.com/sex/feature/2001/05/21/cannes/index.html) \*.
Wanna join me in Cannes this May? I hear the parties are _great_.
It’s warm, it’s posh, it’s degrading to women - what more could you possibly want?
😃
BTW This thread has totally opened my eyes - I’ll never touch another woman’s boob unless asked to do so. Maybe I’ll start collecting stamps or butterflies… I need another hobby.
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### Author:  [@FilmGeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FilmGeek)
#### Post date: [April 3, 2004, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-who-hate-having-their-breast-fondled/237890/26 "2004-04-03T18:19:27Z")
I’m all about breast fondling.
It kind of amazes me that some women don’t like it. Of course, this is coming from the girl who had her nipple pierced to get more sensitivity. It worked!
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### Author:  [@Batsinma\_Belfry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Batsinma_Belfry)
#### Post date: [April 3, 2004, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-who-hate-having-their-breast-fondled/237890/27 "2004-04-03T22:34:42Z")
I like it during sex, but find it annoying when all the attention is given to the nipples. I don’t care for it outside of sex especially when acompanied with the words “honk, honk”.
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### Author:  [@Silver\_Serpentine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Serpentine)
#### Post date: [April 4, 2004, 1:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-who-hate-having-their-breast-fondled/237890/28 "2004-04-04T13:21:00Z")
Somehow, this topic kind of came up with my younger sister.
She’s never had sex, but she hates the way anything feels when something brushes against her nipples. She always wears a bra, to protect them from moving clothing.
I have a small bit of the same feeling she gets, so I’ll try to describe it. Well, had, until I got my nipples pierced.
Okay . . . When something touches the nipple, it seems to release a sort of . . . depressed/icky/tearful feeling. Not pain. We’re not from a prudish family, so it’s not guilt. It’s like some strange chamicals get released in the brain to make us feel shitty whenever the nipple gets touched.
I have NO idea what this is, what causes it, or anything. But it’s very uncomfortable.
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### Author:  [@zephyrine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zephyrine)
#### Post date: [April 4, 2004, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-who-hate-having-their-breast-fondled/237890/29 "2004-04-04T22:17:55Z")
I had never heard of women not liking their breasts touched. I **need** to have my breasts played with during sex, and luckily I mainly seem to attract breast-men. Despite this, I don’t think they are very sensitive, so tentative touching doesn’t really seem to do it for me: my tits need to be man-handled! Physically, having a man suck my nipples doesn’t do a great deal for me, but visually it is a huge turn on, and apparently produces the desired effect.
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### Author:  [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)
#### Post date: [April 5, 2004, 7:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-who-hate-having-their-breast-fondled/237890/30 "2004-04-05T07:25:49Z")
> [@kung fu lola](#):
>
> I hate having my nipples touched once they’re erect. Caressing and squeezing of boobage is all well and good, but sometimes La Wifey forgets and starts on the raspberries. I none-too-subtly knock her hand away. It’s hard not to hurt her feelings, but it just feels so… _annoying_.
That’s interesting…uh, if you don’t mind my asking, does she (La Wifey) like having attention paid to _hers?_
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### Author:  [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)
#### Post date: [April 5, 2004, 11:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-who-hate-having-their-breast-fondled/237890/31 "2004-04-05T11:42:56Z")
Wow, I’m really quite surprizsed to hear how many nay sayers there are out there. Makes me feel quite fortunate to be quite honest.
I’m so in love with breast that pretty much EVERY time I’m laying in bed with any of my past GF’s weather we’re having sex or not; my hands have a tendacy to find their way to the ol’ gals breast. Not too much unlike a heat seeking missile.
Now that I think about it; it’s almost like a nervous habbit. I HAVE to be doing something with my hands _always!_ Might as well knead the breast as long as they’re close by.
Think God I’m not a woman. I wouldn’t know WHAT to do with myself.
(yeah, past GFs have been pretty tolerant in that respect.-- _Saints_ in fact.)
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### Author:  [@CrazyCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrazyCatLady)
#### Post date: [April 5, 2004, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-who-hate-having-their-breast-fondled/237890/32 "2004-04-05T18:40:24Z")
> [@SHAKES](#):
>
> Might as well knead the breast as long as they’re close by.
>
> (yeah, past GFs have been pretty tolerant in that respect.-- _Saints_ in fact.)
My, yes, they’ve been saints if you’re constantly _kneading_ their breasts. Personally, I’d have ripped your arm off and beaten you with it after three nights of not being able to get to sleep because of it. Actually, during the right part of my menstrual cycle, it would have taken about fifteen minutes to get to the arm-beating stage.
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### Author:  [@Starguard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Starguard)
#### Post date: [April 5, 2004, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-who-hate-having-their-breast-fondled/237890/33 "2004-04-05T20:22:01Z")
ROFL - 😃
My girlfriend doesnt seem to mind the attention I give to her “enhanced posterior” none whatsoever. “She’s a 38 DD” Sometimes when we’re all alone she’ll sit down, pull off her top, and intentionally ask me to come over and suck on them for her. She says that it relaxes her and helps her unwind…I’m not trying to sound like I’m making an attempt to brag or anything, but sometimes I feel like I’m the luckiest guy in the world 🙂🙂🙂
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### Author:  [@badmana](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/badmana)
#### Post date: [April 5, 2004, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-who-hate-having-their-breast-fondled/237890/34 "2004-04-05T22:04:56Z")
During our “experimental sex” time I discovered my GF doesn’t like to have her breast sucked on. It actually hurt her (and she tried it on me and it hurt me too!) so I don’t do that so much. She does enjoy me flicking my tongue on her nipple or just general “rubbing” in an upward motion.
I’m very much a breast man and my GF is very tolerant of me. Even when I’m not craving sex I love laying around watching TV with a hand cupping one of her boobs.
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### Author:  [@DaToad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DaToad)
#### Post date: [April 5, 2004, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-who-hate-having-their-breast-fondled/237890/35 "2004-04-05T22:12:23Z")
My SO doesn’t mind if I fondle her breasts or gently play with, or suck and lick, her nipples. She can feel it, but it doesn’t do anything for her one way or the other. I guess that’s better than drawing back a bloody stump…
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### Author:  [@overlyverbose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/overlyverbose)
#### Post date: [April 5, 2004, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-who-hate-having-their-breast-fondled/237890/36 "2004-04-05T22:20:18Z")
I don’t mind when my fiance fondles, kisses, etc. my breasts, but mostly because he seems to enjoy it so much. Seeing him so turned on turns me on. But if I couldn’t see or hear him while he was doing it, it wouldn’t really be particularly special. Also, he gropes my boobs and butt most of the time anyway (while I’m cooking, just walking past him, whenever), so I’m wondering if maybe all the groping during normal times has made me stop associating it with sex unless we’re actually engaged in sex or foreplay at the time. I dunno - it’s mostly his excitement over them that excites me. He’s like a kid in a candy store.
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### Author:  [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)
#### Post date: [April 5, 2004, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-who-hate-having-their-breast-fondled/237890/37 "2004-04-05T23:36:47Z")
> [@Starguard](#):
>
> ROFL - 😃
>
> My girlfriend doesnt seem to mind the attention I give to her “enhanced posterior” none whatsoever. “She’s a 38 DD” Sometimes when we’re all alone she’ll sit down, pull off her top, and intentionally ask me to come over and suck on them for her. She says that it relaxes her and helps her unwind…I’m not trying to sound like I’m making an attempt to brag or anything, but sometimes I feel like I’m the luckiest guy in the world 🙂🙂🙂
Sure, large breasts are great… for maybe 20-25 years, or children, whichever come first. Are you still going to feel so lucky when those suckers are hanging down to her bellybutton lol?? I’m a 36B, and I feel very lucky because even after 3 children (none breastfed, tho) they still reach for the sky. And they always will. Compared to your sweetie’s, anyway. 😉
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### Author:  [@Starguard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Starguard)
#### Post date: [April 6, 2004, 6:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-who-hate-having-their-breast-fondled/237890/38 "2004-04-06T06:03:25Z")
[QUOTE=trublmakr]
Sure, large breasts are great… for maybe 20-25 years, or children, whichever come first. Are you still going to feel so lucky when those suckers are hanging down to her bellybutton lol?? QUOTE]
Yep 😃
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### Author:  [@Okaybear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Okaybear)
#### Post date: [April 6, 2004, 6:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-who-hate-having-their-breast-fondled/237890/39 "2004-04-06T06:55:28Z")
Ok, this is sorta, kinda odd, but here goes - I’m a queer woman in college who happens to know a whole bunch of queer fellas and quite a few of 'em have an weird sort of attraction to boobs. One of my gay male friends even came over to where I was sitting one night towards the end of a fairly boisterous party, put his head on my chest (did I mention he was drunk?) and sighed, “Boobs are the best pillows…” before starting to doze off. Frankly, because I know he has no attraction to me whatsoever, nor I to him, I was more amused than I might have been otherwise. Anyone else know similar folks, or am I the only one to have strange, gay male friends?
As for breast fondling in general - be I the fondler or the fondlee, I tend to be pretty pro-breast fondling. And might I just say, for the record, that this is a DAMN fun thread! Where else on the internet could you get such a classy discussion of knockers?
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### Author:  [@lachesis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lachesis)
#### Post date: [April 6, 2004, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-who-hate-having-their-breast-fondled/237890/40 "2004-04-06T16:30:33Z")
well, this marks one of the few times i’ll actually say anything in a remotely sex-related thread. but since this is somewhat of a “hot button” (hah hah, yeah, yuk it up, guys) issue, i thought i’d weigh in for once.
comments and observations, simply in order that they occur to me:
[ul]
tactile is good. pressure on, judicious squeeze of (entire boob), cupping, kissing, licking, LIMITED sucking/tweaking of nipple (yes, guys, most women ARE NOT AMUSED to be tuned like a radio dial for extended periods of time), sometimes just simple pressure like pressing ON the nipple with fingers (or even better, pressed tight to manly chest as part of close embrace… um, excuse me there, drifted off for a moment). BUT~~ **fergawdsake** , _pay attention to the woman’s body cues!!!_ if she’s not expressing terribly much interest in the proceeding, or instead is flinching away from the contact (and believe me, there are enough nerve endings there to make sensitivity to prolonged exposure an issue), then MOVE ON TO SOMETHING ELSE! you’re not going to convince her by repeated, prolonged exposure that she likes something that is uncomfortable.
as a corollary to above, PAY ATTENTION TO HER BODY CUES. if she subtly (or not so subtly) moves your hands towards the target, by all means take it as an invitation to explore. some women actively desire it; others couldn’t care less. the key is look for cues as to which are HER preferences.
try not to become high-yield fixated. women are more than tits and target. touching the entire body, even if it’s not a recognized erogenous zone, is likely to make her feel more appreciated, as a whole person, than unremitting concentration on the two most prominent features (the “most-bang-for-your-buck approach” mentatility). stroking arms, legs, back, neck, head, face… it’s all good.
[/ul]
um. must be spring. i don’t usually get so, uh, vocal. think i need a nice cool glass of lemonade.
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