# Women? With credit cards? **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [January 24, 2021, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-with-credit-cards/931331 "2021-01-24T00:28:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Kimstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kimstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimstu)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2021, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-with-credit-cards/931331/102 "2021-03-21T00:50:53Z")
> [@carrps](#): > > > [@Kimstu](#): > > > > unmarried or widowed (either grass or sod, as the expression is). > > I never knew where that expression (grass widow) came from. Ignorance fought! 😃 Although tbh, it seems that the term “grass widow” for a deserted non-wife (or even a wife) gained currency first (due to the notion of an unmarried couple consummating their relationship clandestinely in the grass?). That was followed by the punning contrast between “grass” and “sod”, where the latter connotes the turf over the grave of the late husband of the woman widowed in the more traditional sense of the term, i.e., by death. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2021, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-with-credit-cards/931331/103 "2021-03-21T04:10:41Z")
This is one reason why so few two-physician marriages last. ---
**Author:** ![Kimstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kimstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimstu)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2021, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-with-credit-cards/931331/104 "2021-03-21T04:19:45Z")
> [@Spice\_Weasel](#): > > I’m really glad my husband left academia. Depends where you are in academia, of course. I know plenty of tenured academics whose marriages to other academics or people in other high-intensity jobs have survived fine. But I’d believe that top-5 universities are rougher that way. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2021, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-with-credit-cards/931331/105 "2021-03-21T22:13:53Z")
> [@Kimstu](#): > > Depends where you are in academia, of course. Probably also depends on the field and program. My husband’s field is clinical psychology, which can be ruthless, and he was told it was unrealistic to expect to maintain a relationship in graduate school. During internship they were worked until one of them literally collapsed and required hospitalization, at which point they were all lectured about “self - care.” He was miserable every second of graduate school and after watching his mental health deteriorate for years, I told him it was unlikely he would be any happier once he graduated if he stayed on this path. And praise be, he finally heard me, and after he graduated, went off into family practice. It allowed us to build a more stable life than I think we would have otherwise had. His mental health improved considerably. He’s still stressed about work but he’s able to set it aside and enjoy other parts of life now. I’m no one’s dinner entertainer. I hate parties. I’m not going to raise my child on my own. Etc. It’s bad enough my career suffered due to having to move all the time. We got out of that life and haven’t looked back. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2021, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-with-credit-cards/931331/106 "2021-03-21T22:43:14Z")
I had to really dive deep for this, but I started a thread about this a while back. > [@Spinoff of the "people dropping in unannounced" thread](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spinoff-of-the-people-dropping-in-unannounced-thread/668353/3): > > I’ve worked in the business world for 24 years. I’ve never had my boss (with or without spouse) over for dinner, and I’ve only ever known one or two people who have. It feels very much like a 1960s sitcom trope to me. slight_smile ---
**Author:** ![mordecaiB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mordecaib/32/7725_2.png) [@mordecaiB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mordecaiB)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2021, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-with-credit-cards/931331/107 "2021-03-22T22:26:35Z")
> [@LSLGuy](#): > > A male friend of mine tried to become a primary school teacher in the 1990s/2000s. He was 30-something, did excellent in his college & masters program and simply could not get a job. One of the (many) weird things about this is the fear of male teachers seems to disappear in a puff of smoke when you start junior high/ middle school. In my experience, then and now, there are a lot of male teachers in the middle and upper grades. Apparently, the desire to molest kids automatically stops at sixth grade. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2021, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-with-credit-cards/931331/108 "2021-03-22T23:42:42Z")
That’s when the female molesters take over (and no, that was not an attempt at humor). ---
**Author:** ![md-2000](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9d8465/32.png) [@md-2000](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/md-2000)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2021, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-with-credit-cards/931331/109 "2021-03-23T13:30:20Z")
> [@nearwildheaven](#): > > I had to really dive deep for this, but I started a thread about this a while back. > > > [@](#): > > > > I’ve worked in the business world for 24 years. I’ve never had my boss (with or without spouse) over for dinner, and I’ve only ever known one or two people who have. It feels very much like a 1960s sitcom trope to me. Yes, my discussion related to 1960’s. As for TV trope, it does seem that the idea was very sitcom . I immediately thought of “Bewitched” since I watched endless reruns of that after school, where Darrin socializing with his boss and having him over for dinner seems to have been a common thing. Although, being turned into a chimp during dinner rarely was part of real life… I think in the last few decades that at-home business dinner party has been replaced by the “expensive dinner at a fancy restaurant” event - where the meal can be expensed and reimbursed. Perhaps that change is directly due to the evolution of the state of marriage, with more common divorces and many more two-career families. ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2021, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-with-credit-cards/931331/110 "2021-03-23T19:44:41Z")
> [@md-2000](#): > > As for TV trope, it does seem that the idea was very sitcom . I immediately thought of “Bewitched” since I watched endless reruns of that after school, where Darrin socializing with his boss and having him over for dinner seems to have been a common thing. To the point that it was a plot element in the first episode of _WandaVision_ earlier this year, a series which specifically used tropes from various eras of sitcoms (and the episode in question was modeled on elements of _The Dick Van Dyke Show_ and _I Love Lucy_). ---
**Author:** ![md-2000](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9d8465/32.png) [@md-2000](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/md-2000)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2021, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-with-credit-cards/931331/111 "2021-03-24T15:39:20Z")
Along with all that, it seems to me the “expensive restaurant business dinner” that replaced dinner parties, also does not typically include the spouses. maybe for economy’s sake, maybe because spouses are not as wedded to their other’s job as in times past, maybe to allow discussion to focus more exclusively on business, etc. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-with-credit-cards/931331.md?page=5)