# "Women would rather have no sex than boring sex, and men would rather have boring sex than no sex"? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 29, 2009, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-rather-have-no-sex-than-boring-sex-and-men-would-rather-have-boring-sex-than-no-sex/515640 "2009-10-29T19:04:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Polerius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/d78d45/32.png) [@Polerius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polerius)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2009, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-rather-have-no-sex-than-boring-sex-and-men-would-rather-have-boring-sex-than-no-sex/515640/1 "2009-10-29T19:04:48Z")
Consider the statement **"Women would rather have no sex than boring sex, and men would rather have boring sex than no sex"** Is it true or false, in your opinion? ---
**Author:** ![filling\_pages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b9bd4f/32.png) [@filling\_pages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/filling_pages)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2009, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-rather-have-no-sex-than-boring-sex-and-men-would-rather-have-boring-sex-than-no-sex/515640/2 "2009-10-29T19:08:51Z")
I didn’t vote, but consider: boring sex for a man = still get an orgasm boring sex for a woman = not nearly as likely to get the job done ---
**Author:** ![Chessic\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7c8e57/32.png) [@Chessic\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chessic_Sense)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2009, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-rather-have-no-sex-than-boring-sex-and-men-would-rather-have-boring-sex-than-no-sex/515640/3 "2009-10-29T19:12:02Z")
I don’t really know the answer to the first statement. I know that the second is true, so I voted True/Male. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2009, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-rather-have-no-sex-than-boring-sex-and-men-would-rather-have-boring-sex-than-no-sex/515640/4 "2009-10-29T19:14:37Z")
To me (male) boring sex it just not worth it. ---
**Author:** ![Chicken\_Fingers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Chicken\_Fingers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chicken_Fingers)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2009, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-rather-have-no-sex-than-boring-sex-and-men-would-rather-have-boring-sex-than-no-sex/515640/5 "2009-10-29T19:17:58Z")
Define boring sex. No orgasms? Wouldn’t just about anyone rather do without than be both bored and frustrated? You can go stand in line at the DMV for that experience. Boring = vanilla quickie with orgasms? Wouldn’t just about anyone pick that over nothing? ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2009, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-rather-have-no-sex-than-boring-sex-and-men-would-rather-have-boring-sex-than-no-sex/515640/6 "2009-10-29T19:23:13Z")
If there’s an orgasm, for me it was pretty much not boring. Unless it takes 37 hours to get to the orgasm, of course. OTOH, I’ve done makeout+ that didn’t end in orgasm, and was freakin’ awesome. ---
**Author:** ![Heart\_of\_Dorkness](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/4bbf92/32.png) [@Heart\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heart_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2009, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-rather-have-no-sex-than-boring-sex-and-men-would-rather-have-boring-sex-than-no-sex/515640/7 "2009-10-29T19:30:02Z")
> [@Chicken\_Fingers](#): > > Define boring sex. > > No orgasms? Wouldn’t just about anyone rather do without than be both bored and frustrated? You can go stand in line at the DMV for that experience. > > Boring = vanilla quickie with orgasms? Wouldn’t just about anyone pick that over nothing? Aside from the fact that I’m pretty sure you’re not allowed to have boring, frustrating sex in line at \*my \*DMV (though if you were allowed to have sex of any kind, it would definitely be that), this is my sentiments exactly. ---
**Author:** ![otternell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecc23a/32.png) [@otternell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/otternell)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2009, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-rather-have-no-sex-than-boring-sex-and-men-would-rather-have-boring-sex-than-no-sex/515640/8 "2009-10-29T20:25:18Z")
as long as boring includes the big O - count me in! I am a woman, and apparently am fairly fortunate that I reach the O pretty easily. sex with no O - yeah count me out. ---
**Author:** ![Polerius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/d78d45/32.png) [@Polerius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polerius)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2009, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-rather-have-no-sex-than-boring-sex-and-men-would-rather-have-boring-sex-than-no-sex/515640/9 "2009-10-29T20:52:13Z")
What I had in mind when I said “boring sex” in the OP was something like the following: You and your significant other have been together for years, and you’ve done it in a variety of ways, but have converged on a small repertoire of things you do each time. In addition, you know each other’s body like the back of your hand, ie the novelty of a new body is gone. Assuming the above is true (and you don’t spice up your love life with things like dress-up, experiments in S&M, threesomes, etc), I would consider sex under these circumstances to be boring. There are many other situations in which it might be boring, the above is just an example. The basic thing is that you expect the sex to be boring _for you_ I hadn’t considered the orgasm aspect of it. Maybe for the puposes of this poll assume that both the man and the woman are expected to orgasm from this “boring” sex (as long as the woman can ever experience an orgasm. If a woman never orgasms, even in the most exciting and wild sex, then she should not be expected to orgasm with boring sex) ---
**Author:** ![Serenata67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/serenata67/32/10646_2.png) [@Serenata67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Serenata67)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2009, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-rather-have-no-sex-than-boring-sex-and-men-would-rather-have-boring-sex-than-no-sex/515640/10 "2009-10-29T21:44:49Z")
Sex isn’t always about being new and exciting. Sometimes it’s just about being intimately close to the person you love/like/just wanna boink. Granted, I like exciting sex, but it’s not always fireworks. But I still like it. I still like feeling super close to my fiance. ---
**Author:** ![Heart\_of\_Dorkness](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/4bbf92/32.png) [@Heart\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heart_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2009, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-rather-have-no-sex-than-boring-sex-and-men-would-rather-have-boring-sex-than-no-sex/515640/11 "2009-10-29T21:58:34Z")
> [@Polerius](#): > > Maybe for the puposes of this poll assume that both the man and the woman are expected to orgasm from this “boring” sex That makes a \*huge \*difference. I will take the “boring” sex, please, and thank you! ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2009, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-rather-have-no-sex-than-boring-sex-and-men-would-rather-have-boring-sex-than-no-sex/515640/12 "2009-10-29T21:59:54Z")
I didn’t vote, because I’m a man, and not a mind reader. It would be presumptuous for me to guess what women want. (Even Freud had trouble with that.) And I can’t speak for all men either, so I will only speak for myself: I think the only sex that I’d call “boring” would be if I’ve already had all the sex I need or want, but my partner needs more. Yes, that has happened (not with my current partner), and it’s more of an annoyance than anything else. So I guess I’d rather have no sex. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2009, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-rather-have-no-sex-than-boring-sex-and-men-would-rather-have-boring-sex-than-no-sex/515640/13 "2009-10-30T03:54:13Z")
> [@Polerius](#): > > What I had in mind when I said “boring sex” in the OP was something like the following: You and your significant other have been together for years, and you’ve done it in a variety of ways, but have converged on a small repertoire of things you do each time. In addition, you know each other’s body like the back of your hand, ie the novelty of a new body is gone. Assuming the above is true (and you don’t spice up your love life with things like dress-up, experiments in S&M, threesomes, etc), I would consider sex under these circumstances to be boring I wouldn’t, so I don’t even know how to answer the poll. ---
**Author:** ![Asimovian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asimovian/32/172_2.png) [@Asimovian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asimovian)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2009, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-rather-have-no-sex-than-boring-sex-and-men-would-rather-have-boring-sex-than-no-sex/515640/14 "2009-10-30T03:57:58Z")
> [@Serenata67](#): > > Sex isn’t always about being new and exciting. Sometimes it’s just about being intimately close to the person you love/like/just wanna boink. This sums up my feelings in a nutshell. By the OP’s definition, “boring” works just fine for me. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Bith\_Shuffle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ce73a5/32.png) [@The\_Bith\_Shuffle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Bith_Shuffle)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2009, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-rather-have-no-sex-than-boring-sex-and-men-would-rather-have-boring-sex-than-no-sex/515640/15 "2009-10-30T04:04:35Z")
This is one of those statements that I consider to be so obvious that I’m surprised even one twentieth of people disagree with it. Yet tons of people do. Are these the same people who think that gender is a social construction? ---
**Author:** ![Idlewild](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/8491ac/32.png) [@Idlewild](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Idlewild)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2009, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-rather-have-no-sex-than-boring-sex-and-men-would-rather-have-boring-sex-than-no-sex/515640/16 "2009-10-30T04:19:01Z")
I don’t know what other women would want. I would rather have boring but pleasurable sex than no sex. And if there’s an orgasm, that sounds pleasurable enough. ---
**Author:** ![HazelNutCoffee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ac91a4/32.png) [@HazelNutCoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HazelNutCoffee)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2009, 5:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-rather-have-no-sex-than-boring-sex-and-men-would-rather-have-boring-sex-than-no-sex/515640/17 "2009-10-30T05:13:22Z")
I think there’s a difference between boring and familiar, as others have already pointed out. I don’t mind boring sex, unless boring means sex so uninteresting you’re watching TV while you’re doing it. ---
**Author:** ![Polerius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/d78d45/32.png) [@Polerius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polerius)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2009, 7:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-rather-have-no-sex-than-boring-sex-and-men-would-rather-have-boring-sex-than-no-sex/515640/18 "2009-10-30T07:02:44Z")
> [@jsgoddess](#): > > I wouldn’t, so I don’t even know how to answer the poll. That was just an example. Did you miss where I said “There are many other situations in which it might be boring, the above is just an example. The basic thing is that you expect the sex to be boring _for you_”. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2009, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-rather-have-no-sex-than-boring-sex-and-men-would-rather-have-boring-sex-than-no-sex/515640/19 "2009-10-30T14:30:17Z")
> [@Polerius](#): > > That was just an example. Did you miss where I said “There are many other situations in which it might be boring, the above is just an example. The basic thing is that you expect the sex to be boring _for you_”. Yeah, I saw that, and my answer is that I don’t have any idea what “expecting the sex to be boring” would even entail _for me_. ---
**Author:** ![Bam\_Boo\_Gut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8c91f0/32.png) [@Bam\_Boo\_Gut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bam_Boo_Gut)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2009, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-rather-have-no-sex-than-boring-sex-and-men-would-rather-have-boring-sex-than-no-sex/515640/20 "2009-10-30T16:59:27Z")
Untrue. One of my mums phrases: “The boring are bored” Not every meal is exciting, but you still gotta eat, it’s the same with sex for me. So as long as he’s boring me good and proper it’s all good. I’m a woman. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-rather-have-no-sex-than-boring-sex-and-men-would-rather-have-boring-sex-than-no-sex/515640.md?page=2)