# "Women would rather have no sex than boring sex, and men would rather have boring sex than no sex"? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 29, 2009, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-rather-have-no-sex-than-boring-sex-and-men-would-rather-have-boring-sex-than-no-sex/515640 "2009-10-29T19:04:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2009, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-rather-have-no-sex-than-boring-sex-and-men-would-rather-have-boring-sex-than-no-sex/515640/21 "2009-10-30T17:10:27Z")
“It’s the same old thing over and over again. I meet a girl, we have a few drinks, and then we go back to my place for sex. Boring! I want something more in my life. On the other hand, I don’t want to give up the boring part.” Dr. Jerry Robinson ---
**Author:** ![Asimovian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asimovian/32/172_2.png) [@Asimovian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asimovian)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2009, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-rather-have-no-sex-than-boring-sex-and-men-would-rather-have-boring-sex-than-no-sex/515640/22 "2009-10-30T19:33:47Z")
> [@Polerius](#): > > That was just an example. Did you miss where I said “There are many other situations in which it might be boring, the above is just an example. The basic thing is that you expect the sex to be boring _for you_”. I saw it, too, and yet I can’t think of a single occasion where sex was imminent, and I had [this](http://limewoody.files.wordpress.com/2006/04/aw_jeez_not_this_shit_again2.jpg) reaction to it. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Fight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/90ced4/32.png) [@Cat\_Fight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Fight)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2009, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-rather-have-no-sex-than-boring-sex-and-men-would-rather-have-boring-sex-than-no-sex/515640/23 "2009-10-30T20:40:20Z")
> [@Polerius](#): > > What I had in mind when I said “boring sex” in the OP was something like the following: You and your significant other have been together for years, and you’ve done it in a variety of ways, but have converged on a small repertoire of things you do each time. In addition, you know each other’s body like the back of your hand, ie the novelty of a new body is gone. Assuming the above is true (and you don’t spice up your love life with things like dress-up, experiments in S&M, threesomes, etc), I would consider sex under these circumstances to be boring. > > There are many other situations in which it might be boring, the above is just an example. The basic thing is that you expect the sex to be boring _for you_ > > I hadn’t considered the orgasm aspect of it. Maybe for the puposes of this poll assume that both the man and the woman are expected to orgasm from this “boring” sex (as long as the woman can ever experience an orgasm. If a woman never orgasms, even in the most exciting and wild sex, then she should not be expected to orgasm with boring sex) IME, it is precisely knowing someone’s body like the back of your hand and building up a repertoire that leads to consistent orgasms (not an endless string of novelties and costumes). If that’s boring, so be it! ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2009, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-rather-have-no-sex-than-boring-sex-and-men-would-rather-have-boring-sex-than-no-sex/515640/24 "2009-10-30T20:49:47Z")
> [@filling\_pages](#): > > I didn’t vote, but consider: > boring sex for a man = still get an orgasm > boring sex for a woman = not nearly as likely to get the job done I don’t have sex for the (mine anyway) orgasm. If I’m having boring sex then I’m basically wanking using a body instead of my hands. At least my hands don’t complain. 'course, I ain’t had boring sex for several years now. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2009, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-rather-have-no-sex-than-boring-sex-and-men-would-rather-have-boring-sex-than-no-sex/515640/25 "2009-10-30T20:58:47Z")
> [@The\_Bith\_Shuffle](#): > > This is one of those statements that I consider to be so obvious that I’m surprised even one twentieth of people disagree with it. Yet tons of people do. Are these the same people who think that gender is a social construction? Well, the part about men preferring boring sex to no sex I agree with. But I think women would feel the same way, too. I know I would. Something is better than nothing! > [@Cat\_Fight](#): > > IME, it is precisely knowing someone’s body like the back of your hand and building up a repertoire that leads to consistent orgasms (not an endless string of novelties and costumes). If that’s boring, so be it! And I agree with this. ---
**Author:** ![Polerius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/d78d45/32.png) [@Polerius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polerius)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2009, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-rather-have-no-sex-than-boring-sex-and-men-would-rather-have-boring-sex-than-no-sex/515640/26 "2009-10-30T21:16:25Z")
Results so far are quite consistent across gender lines True vs False all votes: 58% vs 42% True vs False women votes: 59% vs 41% True vs False men votes: 57% vs 43% ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2009, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-rather-have-no-sex-than-boring-sex-and-men-would-rather-have-boring-sex-than-no-sex/515640/27 "2009-10-30T21:52:01Z")
> [@Polerius](#): > > Results so far are quite consistent across gender lines > > True vs False all votes: 58% vs 42% > True vs False women votes: 59% vs 41% > True vs False men votes: 57% vs 43% But the poll is set up so strangely that it’s hard to know what to make of that. You’ve tied two statements together, so you have to agree or disagree with both. Lots of people have agreed with one or the other, but not both. **Chessic Sense** decided that meant it was true; I’d guess (but I don’t know) that a female would tend to say that was false. ---
**Author:** ![G0sp3l](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c68b51/32.png) [@G0sp3l](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/G0sp3l)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2009, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-rather-have-no-sex-than-boring-sex-and-men-would-rather-have-boring-sex-than-no-sex/515640/28 "2009-10-30T22:55:06Z")
> [@HazelNutCoffee](#): > > I don’t mind boring sex, unless boring means sex so uninteresting you’re watching TV while you’re doing it. That’s not necessarily bad or boring. If the Super Bowl is on and sex is in the offing I’m definitely going for two. 😃 As my old science teacher liked to say “There ain’t no such thing as bad sex” I’m a guy and voted - women prefer boring to none ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2009, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-rather-have-no-sex-than-boring-sex-and-men-would-rather-have-boring-sex-than-no-sex/515640/29 "2009-10-30T23:04:20Z")
Male, voted yes. I’m convinced that women of intelligence and character have such high socially-inculcated standards that must be met to allow sexual arousal that only an out-and-out sociopathic douchebag could ever get them to forget those standards and just get it on. ---
**Author:** ![dukette71](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/8edcca/32.png) [@dukette71](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dukette71)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2009, 1:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-rather-have-no-sex-than-boring-sex-and-men-would-rather-have-boring-sex-than-no-sex/515640/30 "2009-10-31T01:20:37Z")
Sex has a lot to do with affection, so boring sex is still worthwhile. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Understander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3da27b/32.png) [@The\_Understander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Understander)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2009, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-rather-have-no-sex-than-boring-sex-and-men-would-rather-have-boring-sex-than-no-sex/515640/31 "2009-10-31T01:28:54Z")
Boring sex is for married people. They can afford it… they’ve got a lifetime ahead of them and many years to have exciting times. Me, I’m young and single. I don’t have time for boring sex. Any woman that just lies there is not getting a call later… and breakfast will only include eggs and toast with only house-blend coffee. Fie! I say, on those who disdain the pleasures of variety! ---
**Author:** ![JR\_Brown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d6d6ee/32.png) [@JR\_Brown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JR_Brown)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2009, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-rather-have-no-sex-than-boring-sex-and-men-would-rather-have-boring-sex-than-no-sex/515640/32 "2009-10-31T01:51:40Z")
> [@Polerius](#): > > What I had in mind when I said “boring sex” in the OP was something like the following: You and your significant other have been together for years, and you’ve done it in a variety of ways, but have converged on a small repertoire of things you do each time. In addition, you know each other’s body like the back of your hand, ie the novelty of a new body is gone. Assuming the above is true (and you don’t spice up your love life with things like dress-up, experiments in S&M, threesomes, etc), I would consider sex under these circumstances to be boring. Err, what? Familiarity =/= boring. Novelty isn’t a requirement for good sex. ---
**Author:** ![JR\_Brown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d6d6ee/32.png) [@JR\_Brown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JR_Brown)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2009, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-rather-have-no-sex-than-boring-sex-and-men-would-rather-have-boring-sex-than-no-sex/515640/33 "2009-10-31T02:07:16Z")
> [@Beware\_of\_Doug](#): > > Male, voted yes. > > I’m convinced that women of intelligence and character have such high socially-inculcated standards that must be met to allow sexual arousal that only an out-and-out sociopathic douchebag could ever get them to forget those standards and just get it on. No prize for you. As a woman of intelligence and character, my standards (which are high) are predicated upon enjoying the resulting event, rather than hoping the guy will finish soon so I can get the hell out and never see him again. A lot of men fail to get this, but the “all sex is good sex” thing doesn’t actually apply to most women. Genital stimulation (particularly penile-vaginal intercourse) doesn’t lead as automatically to an orgasm for (most) women as it does for (almost all) men, so “spontaneous sex with a randomly selected stranger” isn’t necessarily going to ring the bell for us. Why should we waste our time laying guys we don’t want if were’re not going to get anything out of it? ---
**Author:** ![KarlGrenze](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/dbc845/32.png) [@KarlGrenze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KarlGrenze)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2009, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-rather-have-no-sex-than-boring-sex-and-men-would-rather-have-boring-sex-than-no-sex/515640/34 "2009-10-31T02:36:54Z")
I’m a bit conflicted… I want to say “boring sex is better than no sex”… But then I think of one particular person, and how bad he was as a lover… I’d rather play my cards elsewhere (even if it means waiting) than waste another night (well, more like 5 minutes) with him. That experience, though, didn’t make me change my habits (until I partnered). ---
**Author:** ![brujaja](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@brujaja](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brujaja)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2009, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-rather-have-no-sex-than-boring-sex-and-men-would-rather-have-boring-sex-than-no-sex/515640/35 "2009-10-31T04:14:24Z")
Nawp. Good sex is awesome; even bad or mediocre or uninspired sex is still good for your health. I believe that very strongly. I’m a girl. And “no sex” is hell on earth for me. … but don’t start me! ---
**Author:** ![catflea12](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f6c823/32.png) [@catflea12](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/catflea12)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2009, 11:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-rather-have-no-sex-than-boring-sex-and-men-would-rather-have-boring-sex-than-no-sex/515640/36 "2009-10-31T11:18:57Z")
The worst sex I ever had was still pretty good 🙂 (female) ---
**Author:** ![Haunted](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/898d66/32.png) [@Haunted](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Haunted)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2009, 11:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-rather-have-no-sex-than-boring-sex-and-men-would-rather-have-boring-sex-than-no-sex/515640/37 "2009-10-31T11:49:15Z")
Pfft. Sex with Haunted is never boring. Just sayin’. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-rather-have-no-sex-than-boring-sex-and-men-would-rather-have-boring-sex-than-no-sex/515640.md?page=1)