# Women - would you date an obese man? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 14, 2014, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-you-date-an-obese-man/683725 "2014-03-14T21:30:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Inna\_Minnit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Inna\_Minnit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inna_Minnit)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2014, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-you-date-an-obese-man/683725/81 "2014-03-20T00:54:43Z")
20 whole pounds? I don’t get the “daughter” thing. Am I missing something? ---
**Author:** ![chiroptera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df705f/32.png) [@chiroptera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chiroptera)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2014, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-you-date-an-obese-man/683725/82 "2014-03-20T01:02:55Z")
> [@Charlie\_Wayne](#): > > Oh, of course not. I was just trying to be funny. OK. I think the humor bit got lost between there and here. Or maybe that’s just me. ---
**Author:** ![missred](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/missred/32/14096_2.png) [@missred](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/missred)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2014, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-you-date-an-obese-man/683725/83 "2014-03-20T01:29:02Z")
> [@chiroptera](#): > > OK. > I think the humor bit got lost between there and here. > Or maybe that’s just me. It’s not just you. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2014, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-you-date-an-obese-man/683725/84 "2014-03-20T03:16:15Z")
> [@Charlie\_Wayne](#): > > Oh, of course not. I was just trying to be funny. _Taps mic…_“Hello? Hello?? This thing on?” ☹ ---
**Author:** ![chiroptera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df705f/32.png) [@chiroptera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chiroptera)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2014, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-you-date-an-obese-man/683725/85 "2014-03-20T03:46:58Z")
> [@missred](#): > > It’s not just you. I didn’t think so. Somebody is trying to backpedal and fast. > [@](#): > > There’s still a lot of ambiguity here; are we talking John Goodman as Walter Sobchak sort of overweight, or are we talking about mobility limiting, REALLY unhealthy overweight? I guess I wasn’t very precise in my OP, plus I had to look up Walter Sobchak. I’d say John Goodman as that character would be at or above \ or most probably exceeding my limit, absent other factors such as amazing personality, personal magnetism, [del]big dick [/del], very cute face. But based on the Google images I’d say John Goodman in that role would be by my definition obese. And to address an earlier question…as I and my peers get older, I’m more often reminded that lifestyle choices severely limit and impact not only the lives of the afflicted, but also their friends and family. Someone who is obese, having the onset of significant health issues due to drinking, drugging or smoking or for other reasons…not an attractive dating prospect, sorry. I’m at an age where I am losing platonic female friends because of lifestyle-related disability and death. I’d need a pretty damn compelling reason to date an obese (or otherwise unhealthy or mobility-challenged man) because it is, in fact, a real practical concern. ---
**Author:** ![Poysyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Poysyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Poysyn)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2014, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-you-date-an-obese-man/683725/86 "2014-03-20T04:15:12Z")
I wouldn’t, partially because I admit that I do not find seriously obese men especially attractive, but also because a lot of the activities I enjoy (running, cycling, hiking, swimming, CrossFit, Yoga) are pretty strenuous. I am sure there are many men that would not find me attractive for one reason or another. Different strokes. ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2014, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-you-date-an-obese-man/683725/87 "2014-03-20T14:26:11Z")
> [@faithfool](#): > > Would you care to address how that was a considerate thing to do to those in thread who are involved with men of that size or are you going to just ignore that? Guess not. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![fluiddruid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c2a13f/32.png) [@fluiddruid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fluiddruid)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2014, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-you-date-an-obese-man/683725/88 "2014-03-23T16:03:20Z")
I would date an obese man if I found him attractive, and I have found some obese men attractive. I can’t say if I find them equally attractive because I haven’t met enough obese men to really know, I think, but I’d say my guess is that it’s not a major factor for me. I’m one of those people who doesn’t just find people attractive off the get go. I can say, objectively, sure that person seems attractive, but I’m not attracted to them until I get to know them. I’ve been attracted to lots of people who I wouldn’t say I would have assessed as particularly attractive objectively when I first met them. That’s probably more the norm than the exception. It’s not that I don’t notice physical stuff but I sort of perceive it differently based on the person. A lot of times, an objectively unappealing feature becomes something I find especially attractive about someone - something asymmetrical or imperfect. I was really attracted to a pudgy (but not obese) guy for awhile and his fatness was one of the things that I ultimately found appealing, because it was one of the things that distinguished him from other people I know, I think. I’m fat myself so in some ways I tend to view fatness slightly positively, on the account that a fat guy is probably not going to be as much of an asshole about fat women. There are exceptions, of course, but I’ve definitely noticed the type of man described upthread as “angrily offended by the mere existence of obese women”, and I try to avoid having those people in my life. However, that said, it’s not a trait I love about myself and it’s something that I’m trying to change, so someone who had no intention of trying to live a healthy life probably wouldn’t work out well for me in the long run. ---
**Author:** ![sentrix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac8455/32.png) [@sentrix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sentrix)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2014, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-you-date-an-obese-man/683725/89 "2014-03-23T16:16:32Z")
Are we talking age and obesity or strictly obesity? The physical turn on is big in any relationship but the mental means more. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2014, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-you-date-an-obese-man/683725/90 "2014-03-23T23:05:49Z")
> [@Blackberry](#): > > Probably not. Chubby, sure, but gigantic, no. It’s about the moobs, really. I need a dude with smaller boobs than me. FYI, moobs are not a universal obese trait. Nor are they impossible in the merely overweight. Different people seem to store fat differently. And, of course, there’s full-fledged [gynecomastia](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gynecomastia), which can occur in any size. > [@Inna\_Minnit](#): > > Because A) He won’t leave his mother’s basement and get out and meet real women. And B) He thinks the Universe owes him a supermodel and he won’t look twice at a real woman, but calls them names like “hambeast.” That doesn’t explain why the stereotype is that such a clueless guy must also be fat. ---
**Author:** ![Taomist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@Taomist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taomist)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2014, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-you-date-an-obese-man/683725/91 "2014-03-23T23:47:53Z")
Ive dated the gamut, and had solid relationships with the gamut as well. My instant attractions were always with slim, average height men, but none of them worked out for longer than a few years for various reasons, always with my leaving. If youd told me I would marry the sexiest, most passionate man id ever known, id have believed you. If youd told me he would be over 400 pounds, I wouldnt have. So maybe its luckywe knew each other as friends online for some time before we got together. He is a very handsome man, in perfect health despite his size, and though its only been 7 years or so, the sex keeps getting better and better! Never, ever discount creativity and passion in the bedroom 😉 ive only had 70 something lovers, stopped counting around then, but MrTao is easily the sexiest of all of them. 🙂 think Alfred Molina and you are pretty close to my guy. Rawr! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-you-date-an-obese-man/683725.md?page=4)