# Women: Would you find this offensive? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 26, 2006, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-you-find-this-offensive/370351 "2006-08-26T20:03:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![guizot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guizot/32/3636_2.png) [@guizot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/guizot)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2006, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-you-find-this-offensive/370351/1 "2006-08-26T20:03:48Z")
A (male) friend of mine used the term “shrew” to refer to women who had been vexing him. I don’t think he’d ever use the “B-word,” and I wondered if “shrew” were simply a euphinism for that word. Would you women out there feel offended if a man referred to a woman as a “shrew”? P.S. Do you think we should just use the term “A-hole” for both sexes? ---
**Author:** ![MLS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/919ad9/32.png) [@MLS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MLS)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2006, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-you-find-this-offensive/370351/2 "2006-08-26T20:11:33Z")
A shrew is, factually, just a bad-tempered little rodent. Just like a bitch is a mother dog, who may well be snappish if bothered. There are lots more offensive terms to be upset about. It would depend on the attitude of the individual, to me. ---
**Author:** ![susan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/susan/32/17537_2.png) [@susan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2006, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-you-find-this-offensive/370351/3 "2006-08-26T20:17:28Z")
I need to step a little farther back from the OP and say that I find all name-calling/labeling offensive. It was never done in my family of origin, and very few of my friends do it (and I do keep some distance from friends who do it). Yes, I refer to people in traffic as “idiots” or “assholes,” but those are people I don’t, in fact, interact with, and I would never say to someone, “You’re an idiot.” I don’t find the word “shrew” offensive, but I find the act of calling someone a namne with the intent to insult offensive. ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2006, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-you-find-this-offensive/370351/4 "2006-08-26T20:31:16Z")
Well, if the shoe fits… 😉 Actually, I find bitch to be a little bit on the swear word side. Calling her a shrew is a bit more imaginative. No, I wouldn’t find it offensive. ---
**Author:** ![guizot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guizot/32/3636_2.png) [@guizot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/guizot)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2006, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-you-find-this-offensive/370351/5 "2006-08-26T20:43:20Z")
[QUOTE=Shoshana] Yes, I refer to people in traffic as “idiots” or “assholes,”. . . [/QUOTE] Do you reserve “a-hole” to men only, and use another word for women? The possible offense, to me, is that when a person, of either sex does something vexing, it’s not really relevant what their sex is. Some words, possibly, have a historical orgin of making the vexing behavior even more negative, because of the vexing peron’s sex. ---
**Author:** ![Rigamarole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rigamarole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rigamarole)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2006, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-you-find-this-offensive/370351/6 "2006-08-26T21:19:16Z")
[QUOTE=guizot] A (male) friend of mine used the term “shrew” to refer to women who had been vexing him. [/QUOTE] Yes, yes, I knoweth thy friend. Old William is always getting into trouble, what with writing all those ridiculous plays and sonnets. I suggest thou scoldeth him, and the lady who hast vex’d him twenty-fold. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2006, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-you-find-this-offensive/370351/7 "2006-08-26T21:57:17Z")
It depends. How big a bitch _is_ the shrew? ---
**Author:** ![Throatwarbler\_Mangrove](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8c91f0/32.png) [@Throatwarbler\_Mangrove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Throatwarbler_Mangrove)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2006, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-you-find-this-offensive/370351/8 "2006-08-26T22:06:07Z")
If he’s making a reference to **The Taming of the Shrew** and all it’s associated criticism by feminists throughout the centuries, then offensive or not I think that’s pretty clever. ---
**Author:** ![Rhiannon8404](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rhiannon8404/32/17929_2.png) [@Rhiannon8404](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhiannon8404)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2006, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-you-find-this-offensive/370351/9 "2006-08-26T22:13:21Z")
Meh. I’ve been called shrew when I was acting like one. I’ve been called bitch when I was acting like one. I think I’d only be offended if someone called me that when I wasn’t actually being one. ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2006, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-you-find-this-offensive/370351/10 "2006-08-27T01:48:46Z")
Well, I’m not a woman but if even if the guy in the OP used the actual term “bitch” I still wouldn’t find it too terribly offensive. I don’t get the impression he was using it in a misogynistic terms. (As in she did what she did because she’s a typical woman.) He was merely pointing out that THIS particular woman was a bitch…er…uh… shrew. ---
**Author:** ![kittenblue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ba8739/32.png) [@kittenblue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kittenblue)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2006, 12:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-you-find-this-offensive/370351/11 "2006-08-27T12:34:36Z")
I find both those words offensive if they are directed at me. ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2006, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-you-find-this-offensive/370351/12 "2006-08-27T16:32:38Z")
A friend of ours refers to his wife as a “crow” when she’s being bitchy. I’m not so offended if the behavior is drawing the insult as much as I am when the insulting term is used in general to describe the gender. _“Yeah, we were at a party and all the bitches were hanging out in the kitchen.”_ No sir, that won’t do. ---
**Author:** ![susan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/susan/32/17537_2.png) [@susan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2006, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-you-find-this-offensive/370351/13 "2006-08-27T19:18:50Z")
> [@](#): > > Do you reserve “a-hole” to men only, and use another word for women? Nope. ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2006, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-you-find-this-offensive/370351/14 "2006-08-27T19:40:17Z")
How about if one refers to a woman as “a shrew’s cunt”, is that offensive? ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2006, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-you-find-this-offensive/370351/15 "2006-08-27T21:35:34Z")
[QUOTE=Revtim] How about if one refers to a woman as “a shrew’s cunt”, is that offensive? [/QUOTE] Don’t know, but I do know it’s very, very tiny… ---
**Author:** ![Gala\_Matrix\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/4da419/32.png) [@Gala\_Matrix\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gala_Matrix_Fire)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2006, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-you-find-this-offensive/370351/16 "2006-08-27T21:50:48Z")
Are we looking for a word that is insulting but not sexist? I’m not sure you can find one that everyone agrees on. ---
**Author:** ![guizot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guizot/32/3636_2.png) [@guizot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/guizot)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2006, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-you-find-this-offensive/370351/17 "2006-08-27T23:14:46Z")
[QUOTE=bluethree] Are we looking for a word that is insulting but not sexist? I’m not sure you can find one that everyone agrees on. [/QUOTE] That’s the motivation of the OP: are insults by nature sexist (or sexually determined)? ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2006, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-you-find-this-offensive/370351/18 "2006-08-27T23:39:52Z")
[MST3K]Killer Shrew, Killer Shrew, Don’t know the difference between me and you. It comes out at night to give you a fright. Don’t look now but {s}he’s gonna take a bite[/MST3K] ---
**Author:** ![uglybeech](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/82dd89/32.png) [@uglybeech](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/uglybeech)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2006, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-you-find-this-offensive/370351/19 "2006-08-28T00:10:19Z")
[QUOTE=MLS] A shrew is, factually, just a bad-tempered little rodent. [/QUOTE] You’re confusing etymology with definition. A shrew means both 1) a rodent or 2) a scolding woman. Factually. [QUOTE=guizot] That’s the motivation of the OP: are insults by nature sexist (or sexually determined)? [/QUOTE] Well there are gender-neutral insults so no. But a gendered insult is probably always tangled up with gender politics. On the other hand I’d say shrew is more “sexist” than “cunt.” The term “shrew” evokes a particular caricature of aggressive women that historically promoted the idea that women should be quiet, passive and compliant. cf. “scold” “fishwife” “nag” “harpy” etc. All of these seem archaic, now so they can be either entertaining or sexist or both, but anyway if someone uses them knowingly - it’s ha ha. But if some right-wing fundamentalist tosses it around I’ll tend to get irritated. ---
**Author:** ![guizot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guizot/32/3636_2.png) [@guizot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/guizot)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2006, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-you-find-this-offensive/370351/20 "2006-08-29T02:15:07Z")
[QUOTE=kawaiitentaclebeast] If he’s making a reference to **The Taming of the Shrew** and all it’s associated criticism by feminists throughout the centuries, then offensive or not I think that’s pretty clever. [/QUOTE] And you think I didn’t know this? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-you-find-this-offensive/370351.md?page=2)