# Women, would you post on behalf of your husband? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 30, 2014, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-you-post-on-behalf-of-your-husband/694388 "2014-07-30T02:11:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2014, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-you-post-on-behalf-of-your-husband/694388/1 "2014-07-30T02:11:37Z")
When you never had before and then say derogatory things about yourself? In a pit thread about poster **Incubus** , supposedly his wife took over his account long enough to write just one post, found below: > [@Incubus is douchebag](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/incubus-is-douchebag/694247/103): > > Hello respectable members of this message board, > > My husband’s stupidity online came up in a topic during dinner and after hearing his rationale for his stupidity I became upset. First and foremost I feel I need to apoligize for him because I feel in a way associated with his stupidity and mean comments. As I write this response on this message board I am irate at his comments and replies. I do not feel it is a representation of who he is as a person, but then again the internet gives everyone a shield to hide behind and pretend to be perfect when in reality it brings out the horrible ego within. Therefore, on behalf of my husbands actions and words I appoligies. > > So who is this douchebag Incubus??? He is in his 30’s, works as a bus driver (best job he ever had), he is a college graduate who did not know what to do with his degree and landed in a job he actually likes. He grew up in an upper middle class, but he wont admit to it. In my books when your parents could afford piano lessons you were well off and did not ever know what poverty was. Therefore, don’t believe his bullshit about having a tought life as a child, if he ever express that. > > Women he has dated, represented an aspect of his life he did not like. They were what he felt he could settle with and who he believed he could have them abide by his will. Many of his exes were on the heavy side. He has a thing for the same fat people I read he was shaming online. **As someone who has a BMI that is considered fat, I am appalled by his remarks.** Again, all the shit he says about fat people is more a representation of what he feels about himself as he begins to gain weight. My husband is not fat by any means, but a twig who in his 30’s began to get a beer belly and he hates that about himself. Him and I are something of opposites in every aspect. He says blue and I say red. He is used to being around friends who are on the persuasive side and my friends are the very authoritative no bullshit. Therefore, as much as he likes to pretend everything comes easy to us, HE IS LYING HIS ASS OFF. We have worked and continue to work everyday to make this marriage work. > > When it comes to me he knows better than to involve me in his bullshit conversations. I am a strong woman who can speak for myself and do not need my husband to put words in my mouth. I am Latina, a social worker and have a higher education and pay than he does. I make all the decisions in my home because my husband is often too busy posting about his productivity online rather than direct a decision my way. I encourage those in this post to not take his bullshit and address it in the moment, makes it more relevent. It has been working for me, therefore, might work for those in this post. > > Now that I have bashed my lovely husband for his bullshit, stupidity, douchebag ways and all the bad words all the members came up with lets look at the possitive: > > He is truely a wonderful man, who will take the shirt off his back for his family, **he loves me with all my extra pounds (stretch marks and all),** he has embraced my culture and language, he has growned in many aspects (he is still working on not being a douchebag), loves his mother and family, super smart and knowledgable (when not stroking his ego) and above all a somewhat honest man (some of the shit he put on here is complete bullshit and not a representation of him and he wanted a reaction) and when it comes to this message board… > > He will not admit to this, but he values all of your opinions and feedback. He just likes to argue for the sake of arguing. That is a fight I have decided to just let go of, arguing is one of his passions! > > Therefore, if I can give this community advice it is to treat everything with a grain of salt and do not take much notice of all the douchebag comments my husband makes on here. Just remember that it is an internal struggle that he has to arrive to. > > For my husband, apologizing is not easy, but as his wife I have come to know when he means it. I feel everyones comments, rightfully made, have affected him in one way or another. > > Overall, I apoligize for hijacking his account and writing this lengthly reply, but I do not believe him bullying anyone is an acceptable thing to do. I feel that words hurt more than actions. > > ``` > The normal, not perfect wife of Incubus (aka douchebag) > > ``` > > PS I will not be replying to any post and am not seeking replies… this is more to englighten the messageboard of the truth! [Bolding mine] Note how she talks about her own weight. Anyway, there’s some debate in that thread whether or not that’s a legitimate post from his wife, so I ask you all… if your husband ended up in hot water on some message board you didn’t post to, would you step in and offer some sort of explanation for his behavior? Then would you take it a step farther and out your dirty laundry at home, all the while telling everyone that you are overweight? Inquiring minds want to know. So, please offer details, which ever side you fall on. Thanks! ---
**Author:** ![Rhiannon8404](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rhiannon8404/32/17929_2.png) [@Rhiannon8404](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhiannon8404)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2014, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-you-post-on-behalf-of-your-husband/694388/2 "2014-07-30T02:41:27Z")
Nope. The SDMB is the only forum to which we both post, so if he got into hot water here, I might defend him if he deserved defending, but I would post as myself. Other than that, he’s on his own his other message boards. I don’t even read them. He doesn’t read mine. ---
**Author:** ![Pai325](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c68b51/32.png) [@Pai325](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pai325)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2014, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-you-post-on-behalf-of-your-husband/694388/3 "2014-07-30T03:15:33Z")
No, I wouldn’t step in and post like that. The most I do is answer his email as him, but now that he is retired I don’t have to do that. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2014, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-you-post-on-behalf-of-your-husband/694388/4 "2014-07-30T03:42:57Z")
What sort of board rules does all this violate? ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2014, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-you-post-on-behalf-of-your-husband/694388/5 "2014-07-30T04:25:42Z")
> [@Gatopescado](#): > > What sort of board rules does all this violate? What? People start OPs all the time that are spin-offs from something else. I think it’s interesting that, in the other thread, so many people are convinced that’s his wife. So, going from there, why wouldn’t one be curious if others would do the same thing she supposedly did? I know, as a long time wife myself, there’s no way in hell I would do such a thing. However, I’m just one person, so I asked. It’s not like I could do it there. But, if there’s some sort of issue with me posting this, not only do I apologize, but will gladly abide by the mods closing it. So, guys, do what you will. To everyone else, thanks for your replies. ---
**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2014, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-you-post-on-behalf-of-your-husband/694388/6 "2014-07-30T04:28:34Z")
I think he was asking what sort of board rules are violated when your wife posts from your account 😉 ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2014, 4:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-you-post-on-behalf-of-your-husband/694388/7 "2014-07-30T04:47:34Z")
I asked my wife to respond for [del]me[/del] herself: "This is **TokyoBayer** ’s wife. While I’m aware that [del]I[/del] he posts on a bulletin board, [del]she[/del] I care[del]s[/del] so little about it that [del]she[/del] I wouldn’t respond. [del]She is[/del] I am gorgeous, from Taiwan and makes lots of money and am really hot. So you can call me HTW[sup]TM[/sup]. I may get an account, but just to post good things about my wonderful husband. Oh, I’m not _a_ Amerikan, so forgive me bad English. ---
**Author:** ![jabiru](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/bbce88/32.png) [@jabiru](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jabiru)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2014, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-you-post-on-behalf-of-your-husband/694388/8 "2014-07-30T04:55:25Z")
No. I have no idea what boards, if any, he posts on. As far as I know he is unaware of the existence of SDMB, so he wouldn’t be able to post on my behalf here even. ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2014, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-you-post-on-behalf-of-your-husband/694388/9 "2014-07-30T04:55:41Z")
This is ACM’s wife. Rather than post a lengthly reply I’ll just leave you with this: He is, in fact, as sexy as you imagine. ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2014, 5:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-you-post-on-behalf-of-your-husband/694388/10 "2014-07-30T05:07:52Z")
> [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > He is, in fact, as sexy as you imagine. As sexy as a cantaloupe? Because that’s how I imagine him.🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2014, 5:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-you-post-on-behalf-of-your-husband/694388/11 "2014-07-30T05:11:24Z")
I guess there are all sorts of people but it just seems weird to me that **Incubus** ’s wife would actually _care_ about her husband’s message board trollery enough to hijack his account and post like that. Why would she give one flying fuck what The Straight Dope thinks about **HMW** tm? ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2014, 5:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-you-post-on-behalf-of-your-husband/694388/12 "2014-07-30T05:25:01Z")
> [@Colibri](#): > > As sexy as a cantaloupe? Because that’s how I imagine him.🙂 As a cantaloupe? Allow me to rephrase: He’s _almost_ as sexy as you imagine. ---
**Author:** ![MoonMoon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/moonmoon/32/2959_2.png) [@MoonMoon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MoonMoon)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2014, 8:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-you-post-on-behalf-of-your-husband/694388/13 "2014-07-30T08:09:58Z")
Ugh, now I’ve got awkward all over me. Spouse posting or poster pretending to be spouse posting; that was uncomfortable either way. ---
**Author:** ![sandra\_nz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eada6e/32.png) [@sandra\_nz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sandra_nz)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2014, 9:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-you-post-on-behalf-of-your-husband/694388/14 "2014-07-30T09:06:54Z")
Nope. If my husband was a dick on a forum, he deserves to be called out on it and doesn’t need me defending him - I’m his wife, not his mother! ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2014, 9:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-you-post-on-behalf-of-your-husband/694388/15 "2014-07-30T09:41:56Z")
> [@Colibri](#): > > As sexy as a cantaloupe? Because that’s how I imagine him.🙂 I got an image of Hermes Conrad in my mind when I read this. ---
**Author:** ![KarlGrenze](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/dbc845/32.png) [@KarlGrenze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KarlGrenze)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2014, 9:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-you-post-on-behalf-of-your-husband/694388/16 "2014-07-30T09:59:03Z")
Not me, but you’re asking the wrong audience. The women here already have internet personas, here and elsewhere. They’d see no need in using their husbands’. That said, please keep in mind the person writing that (supposedly) is from another culture. I have heard and read instances where the sentiment of what was done is expressed (apologizing for a relative’s mistake). ---
**Author:** ![MsRobyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/90ced4/32.png) [@MsRobyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsRobyn)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2014, 11:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-you-post-on-behalf-of-your-husband/694388/17 "2014-07-30T11:23:18Z")
I wouldn’t, because a) he’s a longtime member and b) he’s an adult who is capable of defending himself. Aside from Fark (where I’m also a member, albeit a lurker), I have some idea where he spends his time, but not enough that I care about what he’s doing, let alone follow him around. ---
**Author:** ![6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/6/e19adc/32.png) [@6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2014, 11:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-you-post-on-behalf-of-your-husband/694388/18 "2014-07-30T11:32:33Z")
Yes, I would indeed post half of my husband. I just don’t know which half. ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2014, 12:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-you-post-on-behalf-of-your-husband/694388/19 "2014-07-30T12:59:10Z")
The wife of a normal, healthy guy probably wouldn’t do something like this. But I can see the wife of an emotionally stunted or handicapped person stepping in to fix his mess. If we are to take that post at face value, the poster in question is overly invested in internet fantasies. He doesn’t have much of a life outside of the computer. So maybe if I was partnered with someone like this and I knew they weren’t able to separate message board rejection from real world rejection, I MIGHT feel compelled to help smooth things over for them. If only because seeing someone pouting and fuming over some bizarre message board mess would get real old real fast. Yes, it is pathetic if it truly went down like this. Not only is it pathetic that the wife would have to defend him (in quite that way), it’s also pathetic that he would be so upset that the Pit thread would even come up in conversation. But I don’t think **Incubus** is an emotionally well individual. Pathetic behavior is par for the course for someone like him. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2014, 1:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-you-post-on-behalf-of-your-husband/694388/20 "2014-07-30T13:11:39Z")
> [@monstro](#): > > The wife of a normal, healthy guy probably wouldn’t do something like this. > > But I can see the wife of an emotionally stunted or handicapped person stepping in to fix his mess. Very true. Regards, Mrs. Shodan [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-you-post-on-behalf-of-your-husband/694388.md?page=2)