# Women, would you post on behalf of your husband? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 30, 2014, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-you-post-on-behalf-of-your-husband/694388 "2014-07-30T02:11:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Why\_Bother](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e19adc/32.png) [@Doctor\_Why\_Bother](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Why_Bother)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2014, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-you-post-on-behalf-of-your-husband/694388/21 "2014-07-30T13:25:51Z")
> [@](#): > > Yes, it is pathetic if it truly went down like this. Not only is it pathetic that the wife would have to defend him (in quite that way), it’s also pathetic that he would be so upset that the Pit thread would even come up in conversation. But I don’t think Incubus is an emotionally well individual. Pathetic behavior is par for the course for someone like him. You’d call that a _defence_? _“Hi, my husband’s a stupid, mean-spirited, lying douchebag who uses his online identity as a tool for projecting his inadequacies onto others. He’s a bully you should always think twice before believing and he’s way too spineless to provide any input whatsoever into the running of our household…but he’s wonderful.”_ Doesn’t sound like much of a defence to me. In fact, without reading too much into it, it doesn’t sound like the happiest of relationships at all. Even if I’m wrong, it’s still very sad. > [@](#): > > But I can see the wife of an emotionally stunted or handicapped person stepping in to fix his mess. I’ve got to say, based on that rant Mrs. Incubus doesn’t strike me as the most emotionally healthy of people either. ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2014, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-you-post-on-behalf-of-your-husband/694388/22 "2014-07-30T13:37:29Z")
Scumpup is made of awesome like Cossack porn star. I not posting for defending him. I posting to making sure internet whores not stealing he. Whores like he. Mrs. Scumpup ---
**Author:** ![you\_with\_the\_face](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/ecccb3/32.png) [@you\_with\_the\_face](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/you_with_the_face)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2014, 1:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-you-post-on-behalf-of-your-husband/694388/23 "2014-07-30T13:44:51Z")
> [@faithfool](#): > > When you never had before and then say derogatory things about yourself? I disagree that the wife in question posted derogatory things about herself. She said she had a high BMI, extra pounds, and stretch marks. These are facts, not insults. If she called herself an ugly fattie, I would agree that this kind of self-abuse would be implausible. If anything is implausible in that post, it’s the harsh things she said about her husband. If I were married, my loyalties to my husband would prevent me from calling him a stupid douchebag; my natural reaction would be to defend him, if I chose to post at all (which I admit is unlikely). Also, my pride would prevent me from portraying him too negatively, because I tend to consider my loved-ones a reflection on me. ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2014, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-you-post-on-behalf-of-your-husband/694388/24 "2014-07-30T13:50:23Z")
These are all very interesting and are helping me to understand a mindset I, obviously, don’t hold and had never even considered. I appreciate the insights. Hopefully those will help me be less _assuming_ going forward. ---
**Author:** ![Krouget](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b38774/32.png) [@Krouget](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Krouget)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2014, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-you-post-on-behalf-of-your-husband/694388/25 "2014-07-30T14:16:54Z")
> [@sandra\_nz](#): > > I’m his wife, not his mother! Interestingly enough, one theory in the pit thread expressed that this type of dynamic was at play, and they pretty much nailed it. In other words, it reinforces why she _did_ post. ---
**Author:** ![scareyfaerie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scareyfaerie/32/3135_2.png) [@scareyfaerie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scareyfaerie)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2014, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-you-post-on-behalf-of-your-husband/694388/26 "2014-07-30T15:23:30Z")
I don’t have a husband, but if I did and he managed to get into that much trouble on a message board, I’d be sitting back laughing at him and letting him dig himself out of the hole. ---
**Author:** ![Ellen\_Cherry](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellen_cherry/32/3600_2.png) [@Ellen\_Cherry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellen_Cherry)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2014, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-you-post-on-behalf-of-your-husband/694388/27 "2014-07-30T16:25:48Z")
> [@monstro](#): > > The wife of a normal, healthy guy probably wouldn’t do something like this. > > But I can see the wife of an emotionally stunted or handicapped person stepping in to fix his mess. If we are to take that post at face value, the poster in question is overly invested in internet fantasies. He doesn’t have much of a life outside of the computer. So maybe if I was partnered with someone like this and I knew they weren’t able to separate message board rejection from real world rejection, I MIGHT feel compelled to help smooth things over for them. If only because seeing someone pouting and fuming over some bizarre message board mess would get real old real fast. > > Yes, it is pathetic if it truly went down like this. Not only is it pathetic that the wife would have to defend him (in quite that way), it’s also pathetic that he would be so upset that the Pit thread would even come up in conversation. But I don’t think **Incubus** is an emotionally well individual. Pathetic behavior is par for the course for someone like him. > [@Doctor\_Why\_Bother](#): > > You’d call that a _defence_? _“Hi, my husband’s a stupid, mean-spirited, lying douchebag who uses his online identity as a tool for projecting his inadequacies onto others. He’s a bully you should always think twice before believing and he’s way too spineless to provide any input whatsoever into the running of our household…but he’s wonderful.”_ > > Doesn’t sound like much of a defence to me. In fact, without reading too much into it, it doesn’t sound like the happiest of relationships at all. Even if I’m wrong, it’s still very sad. > > I’ve got to say, based on that rant Mrs. Incubus doesn’t strike me as the most emotionally healthy of people either. > [@Krouget](#): > > Interestingly enough, one theory in the pit thread expressed that this type of dynamic was at play, and they pretty much nailed it. > > In other words, it reinforces why she _did_ post. **Attention, everyone; not just the above posters:** Jumping off from the current Pit thread is fine, but let’s refrain from hashing out the issues directly related to the wife posting. The topic here is “Would you post on behalf of your husband?” Confine your remarks to that. If you wish to talk about the Incubus/wife situation, do it in the BBQ Pit. Thank you in advance for your cooperation. ---
**Author:** ![MrsTime](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@MrsTime](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrsTime)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2014, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-you-post-on-behalf-of-your-husband/694388/28 "2014-07-30T16:50:02Z")
My husband is a big boy I don’t need to post for him , and he doesn’t post for me. Except once long ago when we shared a computer and one or the other of us would forget to log out, and back in again. Then I would be surprised , oops I posted in his name again. Now we each have our own computers so no more accidents. ---
**Author:** ![Elemenopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b5e925/32.png) [@Elemenopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elemenopy)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2014, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-you-post-on-behalf-of-your-husband/694388/29 "2014-07-30T17:05:24Z")
As a prank, maybe, but he doesn’t do message boards. Closest thing was he used to do a lot of Netflix reviews, and if I had any interest in that, I would use the same account (I think I would have to, given that it’s the household’s service). I have had him give input to a reply or two of mine in the past, usually regarding medical questions to make sure I’m not talking out of my ass. 😉 As for what happened here, no, I can’t see that happening in either direction. ETA: If my husband asked me to post something on his non-existent forum, and it weren’t regarding eye-rolling forum drama, I suppose I would. Like type out a recipe or describe a painting technique I’ve done, sure. ---
**Author:** ![gracer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8e7dd6/32.png) [@gracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gracer)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2014, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-you-post-on-behalf-of-your-husband/694388/30 "2014-07-30T17:32:21Z")
I probably wouldn’t, and he doesn’t post on a message board, so it wouldn’t come up. But I could see it happening if something were making him really unhappy for some reason. It’s easy to make fun of for being lame, but social rejection is a big deal to people. If you invest in a social group, even if it isn’t in person, and then you experience rejection I think it’s understandable for someone to be upset over it. Again, it’s highly unlikely, but perhaps I would post something if I thought I could ameliorate his unhappiness. (Perhaps I should say that I haven’t followed the whole Pit thing, I’m just responding to the thread.) ---
**Author:** ![Cyros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a698b9/32.png) [@Cyros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cyros)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2014, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-you-post-on-behalf-of-your-husband/694388/31 "2014-07-30T17:49:36Z")
> [@sandra\_nz](#): > > I’m his wife, not his mother! I’m his wife AND his mother. Don’t judge me (judge him all you want though). ---
**Author:** ![jtur88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e9c0ed/32.png) [@jtur88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jtur88)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2014, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-you-post-on-behalf-of-your-husband/694388/32 "2014-07-30T17:57:35Z")
“Behalf” implies “in the interest or aid of (someone)” I’d hate to see what she’d write that was not in his behalf. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2014, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-you-post-on-behalf-of-your-husband/694388/33 "2014-07-30T18:06:54Z")
> [@Cyros](#): > > I’m his wife AND his mother. Don’t judge me (judge him all you want though). [Slap](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wnrdetFAo1o)! Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2014, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-you-post-on-behalf-of-your-husband/694388/34 "2014-07-30T18:18:30Z")
> [@jtur88](#): > > “Behalf” implies “in the interest or aid of (someone)” I’d hate to see what she’d write that was not in his behalf. Well, I picked that because I figured someone would take issue with “defend.” Ya just can’t win, I tells ya. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Aangelica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b2d939/32.png) [@Aangelica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aangelica)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2014, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-you-post-on-behalf-of-your-husband/694388/35 "2014-07-30T21:53:48Z")
Are his fingers broken? If not, then the answer is probably “no”. He’s an adult. Granted, if he got embroiled in some sort of message board controversy (although I cannot imagine how that might happen - he’s a hardcore lurker), if I knew about it and it was either involving a topic about which I had knowledge or I thought he was being unfairly maligned in some fashion, I might feel compelled to comment. Which is an unduly complicated way of saying I might comment on the controversy _in my own right_, but I would not do so purely on his behalf. ---
**Author:** ![Oredigger77](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/oredigger77/32/3181_2.png) [@Oredigger77](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oredigger77)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2014, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-you-post-on-behalf-of-your-husband/694388/36 "2014-07-31T01:23:15Z")
I just asked my wife if she would defend me if i got involved in board drama that hurt my feelings. Her responce was “No, it’s the Internet no one cares plus if you were being a douchebag you’d deserve it.” So I didn’t think you’ll find her here defending me in fact I’m not sure she’ll let you know if I die. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-you-post-on-behalf-of-your-husband/694388.md?page=1)