# Women: Would you reject a man solely for being 5'7"? BE HONEST! **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 1, 2014, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-you-reject-a-man-solely-for-being-57-be-honest/682634 "2014-03-01T22:14:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2014, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-you-reject-a-man-solely-for-being-57-be-honest/682634/41 "2014-03-02T02:40:09Z")
So the poll is 45:1 in favor of women dating short guys and you don’t believe it… why? Why would 45 complete strangers lie to you? You are rejecting your data in favor of a presupposition. And I thought you’d be happy to be proven wrong! ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2014, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-you-reject-a-man-solely-for-being-57-be-honest/682634/42 "2014-03-02T02:41:10Z")
> [@Anonymous User](#): > > Another thing I am noticing. I always hear stories like, “I am married to a short guy right now, but my ex was 5’4!” Exactly, your _ex._ I think you mean “married to a tall guy” but in my case, since I do fit that - with the one shorter guy it wasn’t a good fit for either of us, the other one ended up being deeeeeeeply closeted gay, so yeah, that’s kind of more important than his height. My husband was the next guy who came along, and he hit on **me**. So you can see there are a ton of other things to think about, like whether they are actually attracted to your gender and not just repressing things, whether there’s a personality match, and so on. (Or are you suggesting that women should pity-marry assholes, douches, gay men, and other bad matches just because the guy is short and could really use the pick-me-up?) > [@Anonymous User](#): > > But he’s speaking from his own experience. It’s not like he was whiny before. He’s whiny after all those rejections \*just \*on his height. How do you know? And why is he chasing after such shallow women? Like I said, if my reality about hearing so many guys only wanting women with big tits actually was true, I’d never have had a date in my life. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2014, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-you-reject-a-man-solely-for-being-57-be-honest/682634/43 "2014-03-02T02:47:28Z")
> [@Septima](#): > > Frankly, I think the height thing is has become a defensive freudian excuse for you. You think you’ll be unsuccessful with women, so you cling to height-bias all you can, since that way you can point to some sort of _reason_ beyond your control for your feared lack of success. > > Which is fine. A lot of people do that. Some people crush on unavailable people. Some cling to religion. Some “focus on academics”. Some people blame the dreaded Friendzone. > You cling to height-bias. > > All of this tells me you’re just not ready to date. Give yourself some time. Being a late bloomer is fine. It’s not a race. Get comfortable at college for a while, then see if you don’t feel better. **Septima** speaks the truth, here. Some people need to get comfortable in their own skin (literally, even) before they can even think about trying to find someone to love. And there is nearly nothing more unattractive than desperation. The only guy I managed to attract when I was feeling desperate in high school was a deeply-closeted, deep-in-denial gay male friend. Things got way better after I got comfortable with myself, got self-confidence, etc. ---
**Author:** ![R3d\_Anonymous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/aeb1de/32.png) [@R3d\_Anonymous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/R3d_Anonymous)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2014, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-you-reject-a-man-solely-for-being-57-be-honest/682634/44 "2014-03-02T02:47:37Z")
> [@Septima](#): > > All of this tells me you’re just not ready to date. Give yourself some time. Being a late bloomer is fine. It’s not a race. Get comfortable at college for a while, then see if you don’t feel better. I am only 16 right now so I am still in high school. I have been crushing on this girl for a little over a month and almost all of February, and that’s how I have gotten into this whole spectrum That girl I have a thing for on is a whole different story, and I know it’s nothing significant and I am not too worried about that specifically nor am I afraid of rejection. That’s not the point of this thread. It’s just that _because_ of that, all these insecurities I have and have had that I have never bothered to do anything about are becoming much more apparent, and I am also realizing how underconfident I am, which is bringing down my confidence even more because that’s even more detrimental. And the \*main \*insecurity is my short height, because that is actually a serious flaw when it comes to dating for men and I have nothing to compensate for it. ---
**Author:** ![R3d\_Anonymous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/aeb1de/32.png) [@R3d\_Anonymous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/R3d_Anonymous)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2014, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-you-reject-a-man-solely-for-being-57-be-honest/682634/45 "2014-03-02T02:53:58Z")
And I am realizing how hard it is for short guys (average ones like me that is, not Tom Cruise) to get girls - here I am already underconfident…only to get held back even more. ---
**Author:** ![zweisamkeit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zweisamkeit/32/4360_2.png) [@zweisamkeit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zweisamkeit)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2014, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-you-reject-a-man-solely-for-being-57-be-honest/682634/46 "2014-03-02T02:59:37Z")
I wrote [a post for an earlier thread on the same topic that is exactly what I would post here](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=12745832&postcount=75) (which is why I’m linking to it instead of typing it all out again :D). And - since I had actually gotten a PM from someone that linked to that post and asked if Jay was real or if I just made it up - I’ll flat out say that _yes, Jay the short guy is a real guy, really was confident and really did date a lot of hot chicks_ (since I often had to work Friday and Saturday nights and he’d often stop by to fill up his car and get smokes, so I saw a lot of his dates). ---
**Author:** ![R3d\_Anonymous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/aeb1de/32.png) [@R3d\_Anonymous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/R3d_Anonymous)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2014, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-you-reject-a-man-solely-for-being-57-be-honest/682634/47 "2014-03-02T03:15:31Z")
I am not fully grown yet and right now I am 5’3" and 16 years old. But I am pretty sure that I am getting nowhere past 5’7" unless some great miracle happens and God decides to bless me for whatever reason. In fact, that’s pretty good in my case. My growth potential is predicted at anywhere from 5’2" to 5’10". And sorry for the excessive posting; it’s just that this thing locks me out after 5 minutes and I forget to mention something. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2014, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-you-reject-a-man-solely-for-being-57-be-honest/682634/48 "2014-03-02T03:25:57Z")
> [@Gatopescado](#): > > Tall or long? This made me laugh way, way too much. 😃 > [@Ferret\_Herder](#): > > Know what girls really don’t like? Guys who are hung up on some perceived flaw in themselves, to the point where it makes them bitter and defensive.\ This point can’t be emphasized too much. Print it out, put it away somewhere, and take it out and think about it again in, say, 10 years. [Prince](http://wac.450f.edgecastcdn.net/80450F/popcrush.com/files/2013/01/prince1.jpg) is 5’2" - do you think this guy has any trouble with the ladies? Also, even though the average height for men in the US is 5’10", the average height for women is 5’4", so you’d still be taller than most women, if that matters so much to you. I think it’s the same deal as being bald; guys are much, _much_ more concerned about their hair loss than women are. By the time women are in their 30s, they’ve dated all kinds of assholes, and if you find a guy who is a good guy in every way, but he’s got a receding hairline, you couldn’t possibly care less about the hair, compared to all the other things that he has going for him. The same is true for height; there will always be a handful of people who care more about hair and height than anything else, but most people are a lot more realistic than that. ---
**Author:** ![R3d\_Anonymous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/aeb1de/32.png) [@R3d\_Anonymous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/R3d_Anonymous)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2014, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-you-reject-a-man-solely-for-being-57-be-honest/682634/49 "2014-03-02T03:34:59Z")
So I have no love life until I am in my 30’s? ---
**Author:** ![Crafter\_Man](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crafter_man/32/458_2.png) [@Crafter\_Man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crafter_Man)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2014, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-you-reject-a-man-solely-for-being-57-be-honest/682634/50 "2014-03-02T03:39:23Z")
> [@FloatyGimpy](#): > > Short guys are awesome. Whiny men who claim to know what women want are a HUGE turn-off. Huge turn-off. > > None of the women in this thread are lying about not having a problem with a man’s height. If we don’t like you, it’s because of you, not your height. I’m not whining or complaining. I am simply telling the truth. I have quite a bit of confidence, so if I were single again, I don’t think I would have a great deal of a problem finding a date. But if I were tall and had nice hair (I’m also bald), it would be _much much_ easier. ---
**Author:** ![HazelNutCoffee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ac91a4/32.png) [@HazelNutCoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HazelNutCoffee)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2014, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-you-reject-a-man-solely-for-being-57-be-honest/682634/51 "2014-03-02T03:41:10Z")
My brother is around that height, I think. He has not had too much trouble with getting girls. Of course he’d prefer to be taller, but he’s learned not to obsess over it. Plus, he’s Asian-American, which is also considered a dating handicap in some circles I suppose. I think it’s safe to say that a lot of women would _prefer_ a taller man, but at the same time I don’t think most women have a hard and fast rule about it. ---
**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2014, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-you-reject-a-man-solely-for-being-57-be-honest/682634/52 "2014-03-02T03:41:52Z")
> [@Anonymous User](#): > > So I have no love life until I am in my 30’s? Yeah sorry ☹ ---
**Author:** ![zweisamkeit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zweisamkeit/32/4360_2.png) [@zweisamkeit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zweisamkeit)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2014, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-you-reject-a-man-solely-for-being-57-be-honest/682634/53 "2014-03-02T03:48:53Z")
And as for self-confidence: believe me, I know what it’s like to have no confidence whatsoever (on top of actively hostile self esteem, if that makes sense, and severe generalized anxiety). So all these posts are saying, “don’t feel self conscious about it! Just be confident!” And they might as well be saying, “Just go and swim from Florida to Cuba! No big deal!” Right? Have you ever heard, “fake it til you make it”? It actually has a kernel of truth to it. The key is that “fake it” doesn’t mean to be a lying, deceiving impostor. Instead, picture the idealized version of you that’s the ‘hero’ in daydreams/fantasies. Yknow, the guy who is cool and confident, has it together and doesn’t feel like a dork. In situations where you _will_ feel nervous or self conscious, it’s time to be an actor - your character is that idealized you who wouldn’t be nervous or self-conscious. It’s familiar enough that you can play the character, but pretending it’s a character can provide just enough _distance_ that it’s not YOU taking a risk talking to that girl or cracking a joke, it’s the character. If things go well - _dude, you DID it! You just proved that you can do it_. If it doesn’t go as planned - _hey, sucks for that character you’re acting, but it didn’t happen to YOU_. Is it inconsistent to take credit for success and reject blame for (temporary!) failure? You bet! But it doesn’t matter. It’s just an exercise for you to practice these attitudes and actions. Over time, it’ll be easier to do and even start feeling natural (just like if you’ve rehearsed a role for a play until you know it so well it’s like it’s a part of you). ---
**Author:** ![Septima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dc4da7/32.png) [@Septima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Septima)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2014, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-you-reject-a-man-solely-for-being-57-be-honest/682634/54 "2014-03-02T03:53:24Z")
I’ll restate my advice - forget about dating at 16. All guys at 16 are repulsive, half-formed freaks, which is why 16-year-old girls mostly want older guys. Focus on being a better man than you are a boy - and you are only a boy, so take a chill pill. Go read stuff, so you’ll have interesting things to talk about when you do feel ready to date. Go learn stuff, do stuff and be stuff - the easiest way to make girls think you are interesting is to actually be interesting. You don’t feel dateable at 16 - so focus on being dateable at 22. You say you have nothing to “make up” for being short. Dude, you’re only 16 - go _get_ whatever it is you need to make up for that imagined flaw. Learn to play the guitar, you have plenty of time before 22. Learn a foreign language, take up sword fighting, learn to paint or customize motorcycles or give speeches or ride horses. And join clubs and volunteer for charities- not to meet girls to date, but to get comfortable around girls and talking to girls in all sorts of situations. If you spend the next 6 years just being around people and building those social skills, it will all be a breeze come 22. But first, calm down. You have no idea what you will look like as an adult. Girls at 16 look like the women they will be and already are, but boys simply do not. You will change completely before 22. It will all be fine. This angsty stuff is normal, and it too shall pass. ---
**Author:** ![j666](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de0a6/32.png) [@j666](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j666)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2014, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-you-reject-a-man-solely-for-being-57-be-honest/682634/55 "2014-03-02T04:00:32Z")
> [@Anonymous User](#): > > So I have no love life until I am in my 30’s? Well, that’s about the time it get good. Love that is. Sex isn’t bad, either. > [@Anonymous User](#): > > I am only 16 right now so I am still in high school. … > And the \*main \*insecurity is my short height, because that is actually a serious flaw when it comes to dating for men and I have nothing to compensate for it. If it weren’t your height it would be something else. If you were tall, you’d be clumsy and gawky. Or you’d want to have darker hair, or blue eyes, or better teeth, or be more muscular or more slender or, in short, anything other than what you are because you are a teen-ager and, honestly, that does rather suck. You should probably listen to your friends who tell you all your good points. Unless it’s gaming. Then you’re right. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2014, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-you-reject-a-man-solely-for-being-57-be-honest/682634/56 "2014-03-02T04:00:46Z")
> [@Anonymous User](#): > > So I have no love life until I am in my 30’s? > [@ZipperJJ](#): > > Yeah sorry ☹ You’re not helping! No, my point was that people change and mature as they get older (well, most of them do). A lot of people are stupid and shallow when they’re young; if you’re not super successful at dating as a young guy, it doesn’t mean you’ll never get better at it, and that women will never be interested. A young woman of 19 isn’t looking for the same thing in a guy as a more mature woman of 30. The young ladies date the hot studs when they’re young, learn that the hot studs are duds, and then change their priorities and the good guys start to look awfully attractive (the baby clock starting to tick affects this, too, as women start to think about guys as potential fathers, rather than just a bit of fun). But you’re only 16 - I don’t think you need to worry about this nearly as much as you are. ---
**Author:** ![Jragon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e19b73/32.png) [@Jragon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jragon)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2014, 5:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-you-reject-a-man-solely-for-being-57-be-honest/682634/57 "2014-03-02T05:24:56Z")
AU, you’d be right to think that there is a disadvantage to being short. But it’s not the be-all end-all. You can’t blame everything on your height or your teeth or your eyes or your weird hobbies or your talents at the wrong things. There is no one thing you can blame for things not working out, and it’s certainly not some unchangeable characteristic like height that you can blame. I mean, yeah, there are a few people that were hit so hard with the ugly stick that they can’t recover, but it’s vanishingly rare. I think I’ve seen one person in my entire life that bad. And even then I’m sure they could find **someone** , even if it may take a little more luck than for other people. Height? That’s not much. Besides, think of the advantages your height brings. I’m a hair above 5’7" and I can fit into small crevices when hiking to go explore in places those tall people can’t. It’s so much fun! You have to worry far less about bonking your head on low-hanging objects, I’ve seen so many tall people accidentally hit their heads on bus ceilings and I don’t have to look like a hunched over weirdo in small vehicles. It’s great! I’m not even joking. Besides, small things are adorable. What’s cuter: a giant malamute or a widdle bitty baby corgi? Exactly. Chicks dig adorable things\*. - Disclaimer: not all chicks dig adorable things. In fact, baby chickens likely don’t have the strength to dig very well, much less dig deep enough to find Dread Pirate Cuddlekin’s secret chest of stuffed animals. ---
**Author:** ![j666](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de0a6/32.png) [@j666](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j666)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2014, 5:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-you-reject-a-man-solely-for-being-57-be-honest/682634/58 "2014-03-02T05:46:58Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > You’re not helping! Actually, s/he is. Most of us want to be warm and supportive and encouraging and all that nice motherly, happiness-is-a-warm-puppy person. Others remember the special sexual misery and despair of the teen years and want to reassure our little brothers and sisters they are not a special kind of undesirable freak. I remember. The kids need both. But about the whole height thing? Josh Hutcherson is 5’ 7" and that doesn’t seem to have slowed him down. ---
**Author:** ![j666](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de0a6/32.png) [@j666](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j666)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2014, 6:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-you-reject-a-man-solely-for-being-57-be-honest/682634/59 "2014-03-02T06:12:22Z")
Two more points: Men keep growing until they’re about 25 And, well, um … is your older brother there? If he were, I would mention - to him, not to you, a 16 y.o. who, though at the legal age of consent and therefore beyond accusations of inappropriate behavior, is still young and a minor … where was I? Oh, right. Short guys are better in bed. Women know that. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2014, 6:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-you-reject-a-man-solely-for-being-57-be-honest/682634/60 "2014-03-02T06:25:05Z")
> [@FloatyGimpy](#): > > > [@Der\_Trihs](#): > > > > I recall reading about a study years ago that indicated that women prefer taller men even when they say and apparently believe that they _don’t_ care about height. > > Short guys are awesome. Whiny men who claim to know what women want are a HUGE turn-off. Huge turn-off. > > None of the women in this thread are lying about not having a problem with a man’s height. If we don’t like you, it’s because of you, not your height. [ul] [li]I never said that women were lying.[/li][li]I’m not trying to attract any of the women in this thread in the first place.[/li][li]You seem to be under the impression that personally despising a man is somehow _better_ than merely preferring taller men. It’s not.[/li][/ul] [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-you-reject-a-man-solely-for-being-57-be-honest/682634.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women-would-you-reject-a-man-solely-for-being-57-be-honest/682634.md?page=4)