# Women **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 30, 2011, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women/587429 "2011-06-30T20:48:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![KlondikeGeoff](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3e96dc/32.png) [@KlondikeGeoff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KlondikeGeoff)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2011, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women/587429/1 "2011-06-30T20:48:33Z")
A good woman is a man’s best friend. She will reassure him when he feels insecure and comfort him after a bad day. She will inspire him to do things he never thought he could do and to live without fear or regret. She will enable him to express his deepest emotions and will give in to his most intimate desires. She will make sure he always feels as though he’s the most important man in the room. She will enable him to be the most confident, sexy, seductive, invincible… No, wait…sorry. I’m thinking of whiskey. It’s whiskey that does all that. Never mind. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2011, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women/587429/2 "2011-06-30T21:00:50Z")
Yeah, but whisky will eat away at your insides, give you a headache, and drive you to an early grave. No, wait… ---
**Author:** ![xkit0katx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/50afbb/32.png) [@xkit0katx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xkit0katx)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2011, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women/587429/3 "2011-06-30T21:02:17Z")
No, I think you’re thinking of rum. Except it’s gone ☹ ---
**Author:** ![blondebear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blondebear/32/1022_2.png) [@blondebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blondebear)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2011, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women/587429/4 "2011-06-30T21:13:42Z")
If women did not exist, it would be necessary to invent them. ---
**Author:** ![MysteryFellow63427](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e4f/32.png) [@MysteryFellow63427](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MysteryFellow63427)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2011, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women/587429/5 "2011-06-30T21:23:30Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > drive you to an early grave. You must be thinking of [rye whiskey](http://www.sing365.com/music/lyric.nsf/Get-Up-Jake-lyrics-The-Band/0309AF0CE1BC975048256B1B00107F10). ---
**Author:** ![Rachellelogram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rachellelogram/32/8689_2.png) [@Rachellelogram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachellelogram)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2011, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women/587429/6 "2011-06-30T21:28:36Z")
So obviously a woman who doesn’t do those things isn’t good. ---
**Author:** ![I\_Know\_Nothing](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/f04885/32.png) [@I\_Know\_Nothing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/I_Know_Nothing)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2011, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women/587429/7 "2011-06-30T21:36:08Z")
“I’m so glad you introduced us and I’ll do the best I can to be faithful to this bottle in my hand.” [David Allen Coe](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zkcI81KgxYs) ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2011, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women/587429/8 "2011-06-30T21:48:09Z")
> [@blondebear](#): > > If women did not exist, it would be necessary to invent them. Fembots! ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2011, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women/587429/9 "2011-06-30T21:57:14Z")
> [@rachelellogram](#): > > So obviously a woman who doesn’t do those things isn’t good. Yes. ---
**Author:** ![footballisplayedwithyourfeet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/9f8e36/32.png) [@footballisplayedwithyourfeet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/footballisplayedwithyourfeet)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2011, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women/587429/10 "2011-06-30T22:00:24Z")
Why did you post this today? I just ran out of whisky a couple of days ago ☹ Now Ihave to do with gin…argggh ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2011, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women/587429/11 "2011-07-01T02:02:20Z")
No no no. You were thinking of beer. A nice, crisp Belgian. Only downside is it makes me look a bit…pregnant. ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2011, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women/587429/12 "2011-07-01T02:07:36Z")
Ahhh **KlondikeGeoff** , you’re my hero. ---
**Author:** ![Jonathan\_Chance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jonathan_chance/32/701_2.png) [@Jonathan\_Chance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonathan_Chance)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2011, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women/587429/13 "2011-07-01T02:19:33Z")
> [@xkit0katx](#): > > No, I think you’re thinking of rum. > > Except it’s gone ☹ But why is the rum gone? ---
**Author:** ![PlainJain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/5daacb/32.png) [@PlainJain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PlainJain)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2011, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women/587429/14 "2011-07-01T02:25:05Z")
A good man is a woman’s best friend… Oh wait, no they’re not. Pour me a shot, too. Make mine Makers. ---
**Author:** ![China\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/779978/32.png) [@China\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/China_Guy)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2011, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/women/587429/15 "2011-07-01T02:33:58Z")
I thought this was going to be a [Bukowski](http://www.amazon.com/Women-Novel-Charles-Bukowski/dp/0061177598/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1309487591&sr=8-1)thread. Then again, he enjoyed the occaisional drink as well. 😉