# Won't you just go the fuck away?
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wont-you-just-go-the-fuck-away/114521
**Category:** The BBQ Pit
**Created:** [June 17, 2002, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wont-you-just-go-the-fuck-away/114521 "2002-06-17T13:42:12Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@DeadlyAccurate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeadlyAccurate)
#### Post date: [June 17, 2002, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wont-you-just-go-the-fuck-away/114521/1 "2002-06-17T13:42:12Z")
God help me, but I’m ready to take the shotgun to you. I mean, you do nothing but yell all day long. Sure, the cats are sitting in the window, but they can’t fucking get to you! Can’t you see that? Is there any reason to sit there making that godawful racket? I mean, it’s not even a real chirp. What kind of stupid bird are you? And the dive bombing the window. Oh, that makes you look real smart.
You’re ugly, too.
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### Author:  [@Why\_A\_Duck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Why_A_Duck)
#### Post date: [June 17, 2002, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wont-you-just-go-the-fuck-away/114521/2 "2002-06-17T13:53:19Z")
Sorry.
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### Author:  [@Squink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Squink)
#### Post date: [June 17, 2002, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wont-you-just-go-the-fuck-away/114521/3 "2002-06-17T13:57:49Z")
Open the window.
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### Author:  [@roadrunner70](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/roadrunner70)
#### Post date: [June 17, 2002, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wont-you-just-go-the-fuck-away/114521/4 "2002-06-17T13:57:49Z")
[bird, sitting on branch over throatshot’s car] _PLOP_ [/bird, sitting on branch over throatshot’s car]
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### Author:  [@Spritle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spritle)
#### Post date: [June 17, 2002, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wont-you-just-go-the-fuck-away/114521/5 "2002-06-17T13:57:51Z")
Little bird with yellow bill
perched upon my windowsill.
I coaxed him in with crumbs of bread
and then I smashed his fucking head.
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### Author:  [@DeadlyAccurate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeadlyAccurate)
#### Post date: [June 17, 2002, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wont-you-just-go-the-fuck-away/114521/6 "2002-06-17T15:16:50Z")
BTW, I got a great laugh the other day when one of these birds chased a cat across the street. I mean, it kept hitting the cat on the butt. Oh, but that was hilarious.
Anyone know what breed of bird it is? They’re brown, a little smaller than a cardinal, not at all pretty, and they only make two sounds, a short “chh” (hard “ch” sound) and something that almost sounds like a squawk.
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### Author:  [@Bad\_News\_Baboon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bad_News_Baboon)
#### Post date: [June 17, 2002, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wont-you-just-go-the-fuck-away/114521/7 "2002-06-17T16:01:22Z")
when I took a botony class, my TA’s girlfriend was an ornithologist.
she said that ornithologists have a special name for such birds:
L.B.B.
which stood for Little Brown Bird.
not that that helps you any, but I found it amusing.
could it be a female cardinal? I have been seeing loads of them lately.
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### Author:  [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)
#### Post date: [June 17, 2002, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wont-you-just-go-the-fuck-away/114521/8 "2002-06-17T16:38:26Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Spritle \*
> \*\*Little bird with yellow bill
> perched upon my windowsill.
> I coaxed him in with crumbs of bread
> and then I smashed his fucking head. \*\*
I think I’m a worse person for it, but I can’t stop laughing at this. Oh great, now I’m snorting.
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### Author:  [@december](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/december)
#### Post date: [June 17, 2002, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wont-you-just-go-the-fuck-away/114521/9 "2002-06-17T16:47:26Z")
A little birdie sped.
Into my glass door.
Hit his little head,
Fell down stone cold dead,
Onto the patio floor.
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### Author:  [@DeadlyAccurate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeadlyAccurate)
#### Post date: [June 17, 2002, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wont-you-just-go-the-fuck-away/114521/10 "2002-06-17T17:11:20Z")
No, it’s not a female cardinal, **BNB**. It sounds a bit like this: [http://www.mbr-pwrc.usgs.gov/id/framlst/Song/h5110so.wav](http://www.mbr-pwrc.usgs.gov/id/framlst/Song/h5110so.wav) but it’s not black, so I don’t think it’s a common grackle.
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### Author:  [@Meka\_Leka\_Hi\_Meka\_Hiney\_Ho](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meka_Leka_Hi_Meka_Hiney_Ho)
#### Post date: [June 17, 2002, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wont-you-just-go-the-fuck-away/114521/11 "2002-06-17T17:52:28Z")
Could it be a martin? It’s my understanding that they have an affinity for chasing intruders, particularly crows. Will try to find some pictures.
LM
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### Author:  [@Bad\_News\_Baboon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bad_News_Baboon)
#### Post date: [June 17, 2002, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wont-you-just-go-the-fuck-away/114521/12 "2002-06-17T18:41:28Z")
my infinite knowledge of birds is as follows:
cardinals
blue birds
flamingos
chickens/roosters
ducks
penguins
eagles
condors
dodos
your bird doesn’t sound like any of those, so my this concludes my helpfulness.
Meka Leka Hi Meka Hiney Ho:
nice name. Jamby (sp?) would be so proud!
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### Author:  [@DeadlyAccurate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeadlyAccurate)
#### Post date: [June 17, 2002, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wont-you-just-go-the-fuck-away/114521/13 "2002-06-17T19:11:50Z")
Took another look at her. She’s not as big as I thought (must be those nightmares making her seem bigger). She’s about six inches from beak to end of tail, and she’s very thin. She has a tail about as long as her body, and she has two white stripes on her wings. I’ve been looking at this website [http://www.mbr-pwrc.usgs.gov/id/framlst/](http://www.mbr-pwrc.usgs.gov/id/framlst/) to try to figure out what she is, but no luck so far.
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### Author:  [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)
#### Post date: [June 18, 2002, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wont-you-just-go-the-fuck-away/114521/14 "2002-06-18T01:07:27Z")
Could it be a mockingbird? Those things will divebomb anything or anyone when they are in the mood.
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### Author:  [@kittenblue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kittenblue)
#### Post date: [June 18, 2002, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wont-you-just-go-the-fuck-away/114521/15 "2002-06-18T03:41:31Z")
Oh, gosh yes. The mockingbirds around our house in Georgia kept my poor cat close to the perimeter of the house for months every year. If she dared to venture into open space the mockingbirds would divebomb mercilessly. Hit her a couple times, too. They were the only creatures Muffin seemed to be afraid of.
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### Author:  [@LolaBaby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LolaBaby)
#### Post date: [June 18, 2002, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wont-you-just-go-the-fuck-away/114521/16 "2002-06-18T04:27:43Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Spritle \*
> \*\*Little bird with yellow bill
> perched upon my windowsill.
> I coaxed him in with crumbs of bread
> and then I smashed his fucking head. \*\*
I now have to clean my monitor from spitting coffee on it, but this is worth a space in my sig on my other message board. 😃
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### Author:  [@Spritle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spritle)
#### Post date: [June 18, 2002, 11:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wont-you-just-go-the-fuck-away/114521/17 "2002-06-18T11:40:59Z")
:bowing deeply:
At your service, m’lady.
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### Author:  [@DeadlyAccurate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeadlyAccurate)
#### Post date: [June 18, 2002, 12:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wont-you-just-go-the-fuck-away/114521/18 "2002-06-18T12:06:43Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by LouisB \*
> \*\*Could it be a mockingbird? Those things will divebomb anything or anyone when they are in the mood. \*\*
Definitely not based on the sound. This bird’s sound is raucous. Now I’m on a mission to figure out what this damn bird is.
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### Author:  [@shorin-ryu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shorin-ryu)
#### Post date: [June 18, 2002, 12:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wont-you-just-go-the-fuck-away/114521/19 "2002-06-18T12:26:32Z")
Pretty sure it’s got to be a mockingbird. The behavior you describe fits the birds to a T, and they do have white patches on their wings which they like to flash. Does your bird also have white patches on its tail? You can read a little about mockingbirds here:
[Enature mockingbird entry](http://www.enature.com/fieldguide/showSpeciesGS.asp?sort=1&curGroupID=99&display=1&area=99&searchText=mockingbird&curPageNum=2&recnum=BD0136)
The call and the song can be quite harsh, as you describe. I’ve noticed this more so when they are defending territory. Oh, and it’s apparently Texas’ state bird!
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### Author:  [@DeadlyAccurate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeadlyAccurate)
#### Post date: [June 18, 2002, 12:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wont-you-just-go-the-fuck-away/114521/20 "2002-06-18T12:34:58Z")
Actually, **LouisB** , if it weren’t for the sound, I’d believe in a heartbeat that it was a mockingbird. It looks just [like this:](http://www.tpwd.state.tx.us/factsheets/birds/mockingbird/mockingbird.htm)
But the only sound I’ve ever heard it make is [this one](http://www.mbr-pwrc.usgs.gov/id/fra...ong/h5110so.wav).
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