# Woo hoo! It's legal to masturbate (like a motherfuck) in your own house! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 27, 2005, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woo-hoo-its-legal-to-masturbate-like-a-motherfuck-in-your-own-house/286985 "2005-01-27T21:59:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2011, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woo-hoo-its-legal-to-masturbate-like-a-motherfuck-in-your-own-house/286985/21 "2011-03-28T00:03:07Z")
> [@Muffin](#): > > For all you public zombie masturbators out there, here’s a link to the SCC’s decision: And a link to the thread the OP’s title references: [from 2004](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=241922). ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2011, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woo-hoo-its-legal-to-masturbate-like-a-motherfuck-in-your-own-house/286985/22 "2011-03-28T00:20:07Z")
Sounds like cause for a celebration. Hey all y’all, let’s . . . ---
**Author:** ![Ostrya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/35a633/32.png) [@Ostrya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ostrya)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2011, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woo-hoo-its-legal-to-masturbate-like-a-motherfuck-in-your-own-house/286985/23 "2011-03-28T00:35:01Z")
I thought it ways always legal. Or at least covered by the “it’s-my-bar-of-soap-and-my-weeder-and-I-can-wash-it-as-fast-as-I-want” loophole. ---
**Author:** ![levdrakon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@levdrakon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/levdrakon)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2011, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woo-hoo-its-legal-to-masturbate-like-a-motherfuck-in-your-own-house/286985/24 "2011-03-28T00:42:21Z")
> [@Helen\_s\_Eidolon](#): > > Eh, there are reasons. When I was quite young, I saw a man in a state of undress, touching himself, in a full-length window facing the street I was walking on. This wasn’t even the first time the friend I was walking with had seen him thus. > > So sometimes masturbating, even in the ‘privacy’ of your own home, isn’t so innocent. Did it turn you gay or something? Why did your friend keep walking past the masturbator’s window? ---
**Author:** ![6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/6/e19adc/32.png) [@6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2011, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woo-hoo-its-legal-to-masturbate-like-a-motherfuck-in-your-own-house/286985/25 "2011-03-28T00:54:12Z")
HA! So it DID stand up in court… ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2011, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woo-hoo-its-legal-to-masturbate-like-a-motherfuck-in-your-own-house/286985/26 "2011-03-28T01:38:04Z")
> [@6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](#): > > HA! So it DID stand up in court.. Win! ---
**Author:** ![Ibanez](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a4c791/32.png) [@Ibanez](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ibanez)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2011, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woo-hoo-its-legal-to-masturbate-like-a-motherfuck-in-your-own-house/286985/27 "2011-03-28T01:52:38Z")
I don’t know what’s funnier this dude not giving a shit what people can see him doing. Or this going all the way to the Canadian Supreme Court. ---
**Author:** ![F.U.Shakespeare](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/aca169/32.png) [@F.U.Shakespeare](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/F.U.Shakespeare)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2011, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woo-hoo-its-legal-to-masturbate-like-a-motherfuck-in-your-own-house/286985/28 "2011-03-28T01:54:31Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > Depends on who it is. Think about say, Rodney Dangerfield doing this. _When I tell my wife I want sex, she leaves the room to give me privacy_ Rodney Dangerfield ---
**Author:** ![Le\_Ministre\_de\_l\_au-dela](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/le_ministre_de_l_au-dela/32/12181_2.png) [@Le\_Ministre\_de\_l\_au-dela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Le_Ministre_de_l_au-dela)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2011, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woo-hoo-its-legal-to-masturbate-like-a-motherfuck-in-your-own-house/286985/29 "2011-03-28T02:41:52Z")
Which party is he running for? ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2011, 2:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woo-hoo-its-legal-to-masturbate-like-a-motherfuck-in-your-own-house/286985/30 "2011-03-28T02:58:52Z")
Always glad to see justice prevail. They can have my penis when they pry it from my cold, dead hand! ---
**Author:** ![Unintentionally\_Blank](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/unintentionally_blank/32/5418_2.png) [@Unintentionally\_Blank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unintentionally_Blank)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2011, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woo-hoo-its-legal-to-masturbate-like-a-motherfuck-in-your-own-house/286985/31 "2011-03-28T02:59:41Z")
> [@Siam\_Sam](#): > > Always glad to see justice prevail. They can have my penis when they pry it from my cold, dead hand! Yer doin it wrong. ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2011, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woo-hoo-its-legal-to-masturbate-like-a-motherfuck-in-your-own-house/286985/32 "2011-03-28T03:00:24Z")
> [@Le\_Ministre\_de\_l\_au-dela](#): > > Which party is he running for? Doesn’t matter; I can hear the campaign now: “He’s a stand-up candidate who can deal with the hard issues. He’s in for the long haul; he won’t come and go like so many have. You know he’s got the necessary pull, and he can stimulate the economy. Vote for him and he’ll make sure that we all have a happy ending.” ---
**Author:** ![Brown\_Eyed\_Girl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/brown_eyed_girl/32/3574_2.png) [@Brown\_Eyed\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brown_Eyed_Girl)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2011, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woo-hoo-its-legal-to-masturbate-like-a-motherfuck-in-your-own-house/286985/33 "2011-03-28T03:15:50Z")
> [@Rigamarole](#): > > Being legal to masturbate is one thing, but masturbate _like a motherfuck_? Where in the decision did the judge stipulate that one could do it like a motherfuck? This is a serious issue that needs clearing up. I think it pretty much goes without saying. If you’re not going to masturbate like a motherfuck, there’s really no point in masturbating at all. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2011, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woo-hoo-its-legal-to-masturbate-like-a-motherfuck-in-your-own-house/286985/34 "2011-03-28T03:18:15Z")
> [@Ibanez](#): > > I don’t know what’s funnier this dude not giving a shit what people can see him doing. Or this going all the way to the Canadian Supreme Court. Yeah, I think I might react by just investing in some blinds… ---
**Author:** ![ShelliBean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f9ae1b/32.png) [@ShelliBean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShelliBean)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2011, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woo-hoo-its-legal-to-masturbate-like-a-motherfuck-in-your-own-house/286985/35 "2011-03-28T03:21:23Z")
Sometimes I’d really like to know the search terms for the zombies. ---
**Author:** ![Rigamarole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rigamarole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rigamarole)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2011, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woo-hoo-its-legal-to-masturbate-like-a-motherfuck-in-your-own-house/286985/36 "2011-03-28T03:22:04Z")
> [@Brown\_Eyed\_Girl](#): > > I think it pretty much goes without saying. If you’re not going to masturbate like a motherfuck, there’s really no point in masturbating at all. Good point! ---
**Author:** ![Ostrya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/35a633/32.png) [@Ostrya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ostrya)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2011, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woo-hoo-its-legal-to-masturbate-like-a-motherfuck-in-your-own-house/286985/37 "2011-03-28T04:28:59Z")
Brown Eyed Girl wins the thread so far. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2011, 6:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woo-hoo-its-legal-to-masturbate-like-a-motherfuck-in-your-own-house/286985/38 "2011-03-28T06:02:31Z")
Did he have legal counsel, or did he get himself off? ---
**Author:** ![Stoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stoid/32/272_2.png) [@Stoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoid)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2011, 6:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woo-hoo-its-legal-to-masturbate-like-a-motherfuck-in-your-own-house/286985/39 "2011-03-28T06:06:47Z")
> [@badmana](#): > > Good decision. I love it how the parents used binoculars and a tripod to look into his place “to protect their daughters”. :eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek: ---
**Author:** ![Isamu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/7c8e57/32.png) [@Isamu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isamu)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2011, 6:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woo-hoo-its-legal-to-masturbate-like-a-motherfuck-in-your-own-house/286985/40 "2011-03-28T06:15:15Z")
> [@Rigamarole](#): > > This is a serious issue that needs clearing up. I have tissues. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woo-hoo-its-legal-to-masturbate-like-a-motherfuck-in-your-own-house/286985.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woo-hoo-its-legal-to-masturbate-like-a-motherfuck-in-your-own-house/286985.md?page=3)