# Wooden bullets, splinter implanted in my heart, and holy water **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 23, 2005, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wooden-bullets-splinter-implanted-in-my-heart-and-holy-water/305147 "2005-05-23T19:43:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![samclem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a9a28c/32.png) [@samclem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/samclem)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2005, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wooden-bullets-splinter-implanted-in-my-heart-and-holy-water/305147/21 "2005-05-23T23:41:03Z")
> [@bouv](#): > > For those who couldn’t guess from the thread title, I’m a goin’ vampire hunting! Hunt in MPSIMS. GQ is for questions that hopefully have a factual answer. Moved. **samclem** GQ moderator ---
**Author:** ![MacTech](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MacTech](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacTech)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wooden-bullets-splinter-implanted-in-my-heart-and-holy-water/305147/22 "2005-05-24T00:16:44Z")
the extremely hard-to-find Bruce Campbell B-movie [“Sundown, the Vampire in retreat”](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0098412/?fr=c2l0ZT1kZnxteD0yMHxsbT01MDB8dHQ9b258ZmI9dXxwbj0wfHE9U3VuZG93biwgdGhlIFZhbXBpcmUgaW4gcmV0cmVhdHxodG1sPTF8bm09b24_;fc=1;ft=2) addressed this very issue… \ Do they work? \we’re about to find out (Shane guns down Quinton Canada, his fangs retract as he dies) \they work \Fortified wood, splinters on impact \Shane, you are a genius! \Guns?!?, what kind of guns can kill vampires, HA! (BANG!) \Wooden ones. ---
**Author:** ![Ragiel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/6de8d8/32.png) [@Ragiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ragiel)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wooden-bullets-splinter-implanted-in-my-heart-and-holy-water/305147/23 "2005-05-24T01:25:40Z")
> [@mittu](#): > > As Cecil [explains](http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a1_039.html) the method of killing a vampire varies greatly depending on which country you are in. So if you are going vampire hunting you might like to include the following in your kit: Vinegar, wooden steaks, axe, coins, poppy seeds and a lemon. However, make sure you don’t go to sunny Spain on your world tour of mythical slaughter, those suckers don’t fall quite so easily. Wooden steaks? They ought to be good for a few shattered fangs, at least. ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wooden-bullets-splinter-implanted-in-my-heart-and-holy-water/305147/24 "2005-05-24T03:05:41Z")
> [@Bosda Di'Chi of Tricor](#): > > Funny, you don’t _look_ Undead… 😉 ;j Was it _Fearless Vampire Hunters_ that had the line, as one of the heroes was presenting a cross to one of the monsters, “Oy! Hef YOU got de wrong vempire!”? ---
**Author:** ![Alan\_Smithee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/2acd7d/32.png) [@Alan\_Smithee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alan_Smithee)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 4:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wooden-bullets-splinter-implanted-in-my-heart-and-holy-water/305147/25 "2005-05-24T04:30:37Z")
I don’t know, but in _Love at First Bite_, Dr. Rosenberg (it used to be Van Helsing, but he changed it for professional reasons) accidentally pulls out a Star of David as he yells at Dracula, “What do you say to THIS?!?!?” Dracula cringes at first, realises it’s not a cross, and replies “I’d say you should go find yourself a nice Jewish girl and leave Cindy [their mutual love] alone.” ---
**Author:** ![Spatial\_Rift\_47](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a8b319/32.png) [@Spatial\_Rift\_47](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spatial_Rift_47)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 4:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wooden-bullets-splinter-implanted-in-my-heart-and-holy-water/305147/26 "2005-05-24T04:43:45Z")
I have to agree with the general consensus here, I really don’t think a cross or contact with wood would chuck (har) a vampire into oblivion all by itself. That would be almost as bad as Green Lantern being incapacitated just by seeing the color yellow. ---
**Author:** ![mittu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecd19e/32.png) [@mittu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mittu)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 7:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wooden-bullets-splinter-implanted-in-my-heart-and-holy-water/305147/27 "2005-05-24T07:38:51Z")
> [@Ragiel](#): > > Wooden steaks? They ought to be good for a few shattered fangs, at least. \ Doh!! \ ---
**Author:** ![Arwin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/51bf81/32.png) [@Arwin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arwin)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 10:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wooden-bullets-splinter-implanted-in-my-heart-and-holy-water/305147/28 "2005-05-24T10:30:22Z")
I thought Underworld was pretty hip with the anti-werewolf and anti-vamp arsenal … ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 11:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wooden-bullets-splinter-implanted-in-my-heart-and-holy-water/305147/29 "2005-05-24T11:04:46Z")
> [@Bryan Ekers](#): > > If feeding a gremlin after midnight causes them to mutate, what happens if you feed one on a plane and fly him to a time zone _before_ midnight? And what happens if one is at Richard Gere’s house and he has a snack after midnight while one of them uses his ass as a Habitrail™? ---
**Author:** ![Bookkeeper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bookkeeper/32/281_2.png) [@Bookkeeper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bookkeeper)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wooden-bullets-splinter-implanted-in-my-heart-and-holy-water/305147/30 "2005-05-24T19:15:31Z")
In Fred Saberhagen’s Dracula books, Dracula is not affected by crosses. He was a good Catholic in life, and has not changed religions just because he’s now undead. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wooden-bullets-splinter-implanted-in-my-heart-and-holy-water/305147/31 "2005-05-24T19:46:22Z")
> [@Alan Smithee](#): > > I don’t know, but in _Love at First Bite_, Dr. Rosenberg (it used to be Van Helsing, but he changed it for professional reasons) accidentally pulls out a Star of David as he yells at Dracula, “What do you say to THIS?!?!?” Dracula cringes at first, realises it’s not a cross, and replies “I’d say you should go find yourself a nice Jewish girl and leave Cindy [their mutual love] alone.” Rosenberg’s response: [looks down at ineffective holy symbol] Damn, it’s the other one, isn’t it? ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2005, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wooden-bullets-splinter-implanted-in-my-heart-and-holy-water/305147/32 "2005-05-25T00:32:44Z")
It should be noted that apparently, in traditional Slavic mythology, Silver was indeed harmful to Vampires. I don’t know if it actually burned, poisoned, or was magically harmful to them, or if they just weren’t invulnerable to it (i.e. if you shot a Vampire with a silver bullet, he’d suffer the effects of a gunshot wound like a normal human, whereas if you shot him with a lead bullet, he’d heal up quickly or just be unaffected). There are a [couple](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=266720) of [old threads](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=4688030) that you might find some useful suggestions on vampire hunting. (Including honest-to-god [dart throwing assault firearms,](http://www.gurpsmaster.de/uwater.htm) which I imagine could be modified to fire wooden projectiles.) ---
**Author:** ![benb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e9c0ed/32.png) [@benb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/benb)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2005, 9:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wooden-bullets-splinter-implanted-in-my-heart-and-holy-water/305147/33 "2005-05-25T09:32:40Z")
The following flash slideshow is extremely relevant to this subject. (Also very funny.) [http://www.rifters.com/real/progress.htm](http://www.rifters.com/real/progress.htm) ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2005, 12:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wooden-bullets-splinter-implanted-in-my-heart-and-holy-water/305147/34 "2005-05-25T12:49:48Z")
> [@Bryan Ekers](#): > > Rosenberg’s response: [looks down at ineffective holy symbol] Damn, it’s the other one, isn’t it? [Rosenberg approaches Dracula in a restaurant] Rosenberg: The second way to kill a vampire, Count; three silver bullets through the heart! [Jeff shoots Dracula three times] Dracula: No, Rosenberg, that is a werewolf… Rosenberg: A werewolf? Really? Are you sure? [Guards start to take him away] Rosenberg: [to the guards] No harm done! The man’s all right! This was for a werewolf! No problem! Calm down! Take it easy! I’m a doctor! I know where I’m going! ---
**Author:** ![Mollie\_Magill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mollie_magill/32/20882_2.png) [@Mollie\_Magill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mollie_Magill)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2005, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wooden-bullets-splinter-implanted-in-my-heart-and-holy-water/305147/35 "2005-05-25T19:07:27Z")
> [@Bookkeeper](#): > > In Fred Saberhagen’s Dracula books, Dracula is not affected by crosses. He was a good Catholic in life, and has not changed religions just because he’s now undead. It should also be noted that Dracula’s Step-Great-Grandson-In-Law, a Chicago cop began using Ironwood bullets. ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2005, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wooden-bullets-splinter-implanted-in-my-heart-and-holy-water/305147/36 "2005-05-25T19:17:55Z")
**samclem**! This is a perfectly factual question! You’re just being life-ist against the undead. _hhhmph_ OP answer: Find Buffy. (If it’s Spike, though, save him. He’s too hot to die. Angel, however, is fine. Stake away.) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wooden-bullets-splinter-implanted-in-my-heart-and-holy-water/305147.md?page=1)