Hunt in MPSIMS.
GQ is for questions that hopefully have a factual answer.
Moved.
samclem GQ moderator
the extremely hard-to-find Bruce Campbell B-movie “Sundown, the Vampire in retreat” addressed this very issue…
<Jefferson> Do they work?
<Shane>we’re about to find out
(Shane guns down Quinton Canada, his fangs retract as he dies)
<J>they work
<S>Fortified wood, splinters on impact
<J>Shane, you are a genius!
<Bailey>Guns?!?, what kind of guns can kill vampires, HA!
(BANG!)
<J>Wooden ones.
Wooden steaks? They ought to be good for a few shattered fangs, at least.
Was it Fearless Vampire Hunters that had the line, as one of the heroes was presenting a cross to one of the monsters, “Oy! Hef YOU got de wrong vempire!”?
I don’t know, but in Love at First Bite, Dr. Rosenberg (it used to be Van Helsing, but he changed it for professional reasons) accidentally pulls out a Star of David as he yells at Dracula, “What do you say to THIS?!?!?” Dracula cringes at first, realises it’s not a cross, and replies “I’d say you should go find yourself a nice Jewish girl and leave Cindy [their mutual love] alone.”
I have to agree with the general consensus here, I really don’t think a cross or contact with wood would chuck (har) a vampire into oblivion all by itself. That would be almost as bad as Green Lantern being incapacitated just by seeing the color yellow.
<HS> Doh!! <HS>
I thought Underworld was pretty hip with the anti-werewolf and anti-vamp arsenal …
And what happens if one is at Richard Gere’s house and he has a snack after midnight while one of them uses his ass as a Habitrail™?
In Fred Saberhagen’s Dracula books, Dracula is not affected by crosses. He was a good Catholic in life, and has not changed religions just because he’s now undead.
Rosenberg’s response: [looks down at ineffective holy symbol] Damn, it’s the other one, isn’t it?
It should be noted that apparently, in traditional Slavic mythology, Silver was indeed harmful to Vampires. I don’t know if it actually burned, poisoned, or was magically harmful to them, or if they just weren’t invulnerable to it (i.e. if you shot a Vampire with a silver bullet, he’d suffer the effects of a gunshot wound like a normal human, whereas if you shot him with a lead bullet, he’d heal up quickly or just be unaffected).
There are a couple of old threads that you might find some useful suggestions on vampire hunting. (Including honest-to-god dart throwing assault firearms, which I imagine could be modified to fire wooden projectiles.)
The following flash slideshow is extremely relevant to this subject.
(Also very funny.)
[Rosenberg approaches Dracula in a restaurant]
Rosenberg: The second way to kill a vampire, Count; three silver bullets through the heart!
[Jeff shoots Dracula three times]
Dracula: No, Rosenberg, that is a werewolf…
Rosenberg: A werewolf? Really? Are you sure?
[Guards start to take him away]
Rosenberg: [to the guards] No harm done! The man’s all right! This was for a werewolf! No problem! Calm down! Take it easy! I’m a doctor! I know where I’m going!
It should also be noted that Dracula’s Step-Great-Grandson-In-Law, a Chicago cop began using Ironwood bullets.
samclem! This is a perfectly factual question! You’re just being life-ist against the undead. hhhmph
OP answer: Find Buffy. (If it’s Spike, though, save him. He’s too hot to die. Angel, however, is fine. Stake away.)