# Woody--Stop casting yourself! **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [August 2, 2006, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woody-stop-casting-yourself/367077 "2006-08-02T21:40:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a9a28c/32.png) [@pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pseudotriton_ruber_ruber)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2006, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woody-stop-casting-yourself/367077/1 "2006-08-02T21:40:15Z")
You had an amusing conceit in SCOOP, which required a magic box and a magician (you used this bit already in the short story about the man who got magically transported into MADAME BOVARY, but okay.) You didn’t have to cast yourself as the magician. It wasn’t required. It wasn’t even helpful. All you could do was somehow make a successful magic act some how seeme to be performed with all the mannerisms of a Borsht Belt comedian. This isn’t acting, it’s screwing up your own movie so you can provide a part that you can play. Only you’re still wrong, even for that part. Your character assumes the role of Scarlett Johansson’s purported father. This would be a huge improvement over all the ludicrous castings of the past thirty years where you decided that some gorgeous babe like Charlize Theron is plausibly playing a romantic role opposite a man a generation older who happens to be --YOU! Only now that you’re seventy, and you’ve realized that your audience isn’t blind, deaf, dumb, and mentally diseased, so maybe you should finally cast yourself in a paternal role opposite the babe-of-the month, you skipped a generation. Uh, Woodman (and I use that term with all respect, truly, you’re a beautiful human being and a credit to your race, I love you, darling, really, I do) has it occurred to you that a 70-year is is much more plausible as a 21 year old’s grandpa than as her father? Oh, for the days when you were merely predating the younger generation. Now you’re preying on the children of women who are way too young for you? You’re sick. You need professional help. And again I say this with all due respect. Get help. ---
**Author:** ![MovieMogul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f08c70/32.png) [@MovieMogul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MovieMogul)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2006, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woody-stop-casting-yourself/367077/2 "2006-08-02T21:50:49Z")
[QUOTE=pseudotriton ruber ruber] You had an amusing conceit in SCOOP, which required a magic box and a magician (you used this bit already in the short story about the man who got magically transported into MADAME BOVARY, but okay.) [/QUOTE] It also featured as an important part of his segment of _New York Stories_. And I haven’t seen the film yet, but the last time he cast himself effectively (or at least not to the film’s detriment) was probably _Manhattan Murder Mystery_, so I’m not holding my breath on this one… ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2006, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woody-stop-casting-yourself/367077/3 "2006-08-02T21:53:40Z")
I figured out why he called his character “Splendini.” It’s after Splenda, the artificial sweetener. Now _what_ do Woody Allen and Splenda both have in common? ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2006, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woody-stop-casting-yourself/367077/4 "2006-08-03T00:29:09Z")
(Hint: It’s the same thing he has in common with Kodak film.) ---
**Author:** ![Enter\_the\_Flagon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Enter\_the\_Flagon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enter_the_Flagon)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2006, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woody-stop-casting-yourself/367077/5 "2006-08-03T00:32:06Z")
Good points. I agree that Woody’s current crop of films would mostly benefit from having professional actors play his roles. And you could make a case for this being true of some of his older stuff, as well. Although I thought he was ideally suited for “Annie Hall”, it’s not his _acting_ for which he’ll be remembered. Maybe, though, I can throw some light on this annoying habit of Woody’s: [QUOTE=pseudotriton ruber ruber] Your character assumes the role of Scarlett Johansson’s purported father. This would be a huge improvement over all the ludicrous castings of the past thirty years where you decided that some gorgeous babe like Charlize Theron is plausibly playing a romantic role opposite a man a generation older who happens to be --YOU! [/QUOTE] Keep in mind, **PRR** , that in real life, Woody probably has no trouble getting dates with young, beautiful women. Wealth and fame will do that for you, even when you’ve passed your prime (as a bonus, I’ll bet that these women tend to be much smarter than, say, Mick Jagger’s groupies). So it’s not hard to see why Woody likes to cast himself as a romantic lead. Like you, though, I hope we’ve seen the last of that. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2006, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woody-stop-casting-yourself/367077/6 "2006-08-03T00:52:07Z")
I forget where I heard this, maybe _King of the Hill:_ “Yeah, I like Woody Allen movies. Except for that nervous redhaired guy who’s always in 'em . . .” ---
**Author:** ![pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a9a28c/32.png) [@pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pseudotriton_ruber_ruber)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2006, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woody-stop-casting-yourself/367077/7 "2006-08-03T00:58:24Z")
[QUOTE=Enter the Flagon] in real life, Woody probably has no trouble getting dates with young, beautiful women. Wealth and fame will do that for you, even when you’ve passed your prime (as a bonus, I’ll bet that these women tend to be much smarter than, say, Mick Jagger’s groupies). So it’s not hard to see why Woody likes to cast himself as a romantic lead. . [/QUOTE] And if Woody cast the part of a mega-successful director getting all these young gorgeous babes, he could cast himself . Actually, he did cast that bit part for the first few minutes of SCOOP, and for that part–which he was perfect for–he cast another, younger actor to play the director. It’s kinda sad that he shoehorns hjimself into movies whether there’s a natural part for hiimself or not. You’d have thought he’d learned from MATCH POINT that his films work the less on-screen time he has. This film is set in London. “Hey, I’ve got an idea–I’ll play the ,magician with a Borscht Belt stage presence, that makes sense.” The magician’s role is to be vaguely and then specifically mistrustful of the young reporter’s handsome boyfriend. “Hey, I can do that role. I’m only 70 years old, it makes perfect sense that I would play the rejected-boyfriend role.” Give it up already. We’ve seen the gamut of your acting, we don’t need to see any more. ---
**Author:** ![Horatio\_Hellpop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Horatio\_Hellpop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horatio_Hellpop)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2006, 7:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woody-stop-casting-yourself/367077/8 "2006-08-03T07:34:25Z")
[QUOTE=ArchiveGuy] It also featured as an important part of his segment of _New York Stories_. [/QUOTE] Also _Alice_ and _Shadows and Fog_. What’s with the back-to-back Scarlett? Is Woody trying to jam in one last mid-life crisis? Also, is Woody more than dimly aware that the overwhelming majority of Londoners aren’t fabulously wealthy men of leisure? New Yorkers, too. ---
**Author:** ![Ichbin\_Dubist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/51bf81/32.png) [@Ichbin\_Dubist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ichbin_Dubist)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2006, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woody-stop-casting-yourself/367077/9 "2006-08-03T15:57:46Z")
[QUOTE=Krokodil] Is Woody trying to jam in one last mid-life crisis? [/QUOTE] Maybe someone can confirm this, 'cause I haven’t seen one of the Woodman’s films since _Manhattan Murder Mystery,_ but a friend of mine swears there’s a romantic scene between Woody and Elizabeth Shue in (I think) _Deconstructing Harry_ where you can see Ms. Shue briefly break character and shiver in horror. > [@](#): > > Also, is Woody more than dimly aware that the overwhelming majority of Londoners aren’t fabulously wealthy men of leisure? New Yorkers, too. They’re not all white, either. And if you took a map of New York City and colored in every block that’s appeared in a Woody Allen film, what would you color in? 2%? 0.1%? ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2006, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woody-stop-casting-yourself/367077/10 "2006-08-03T18:26:12Z")
[QUOTE=Beware of Doug] (Hint: It’s the same thing he has in common with Kodak film.) [/QUOTE] Heh. I heard it years ago as “What does Woody Allen have in common with peanut M&Ms and Kodak film?” ---
**Author:** ![pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a9a28c/32.png) [@pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pseudotriton_ruber_ruber)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2006, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woody-stop-casting-yourself/367077/11 "2006-08-03T18:45:01Z")
[QUOTE=gigi] Heh. I heard it years ago as “What does Woody Allen have in common with peanut M&Ms and Kodak film?” [/QUOTE] Okay, I give. What’s the answer? ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2006, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woody-stop-casting-yourself/367077/12 "2006-08-03T18:53:41Z")
[QUOTE=pseudotriton ruber ruber] Uh, Woodman (and I use that term with all respect, truly, you’re a beautiful human being and a credit to your race, I love you, darling, really, I do) has it occurred to you that a 70-year is is much more plausible as a 21 year old’s grandpa than as her father? Oh, for the days when you were merely predating the younger generation. Now you’re preying on the children of women who are way too young for you? [/QUOTE] Hey, now! My dad’s 75 and I’m 26, and we don’t even live in Hollywood. Go on with your Woody Allen hating, though, I never did like his movies. ---
**Author:** ![pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a9a28c/32.png) [@pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pseudotriton_ruber_ruber)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2006, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woody-stop-casting-yourself/367077/13 "2006-08-03T19:00:03Z")
[QUOTE=Zsofia] Go on with your Woody Allen hating. [/QUOTE] Hating? Does “I love you, darling, really I do” mean nothing? ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2006, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woody-stop-casting-yourself/367077/14 "2006-08-03T20:07:59Z")
[QUOTE=pseudotriton ruber ruber] Okay, I give. What’s the answer? [/QUOTE] They all come in a yellow box. “years ago” was when the Soon Yi scandal was fresh and new ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2006, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woody-stop-casting-yourself/367077/15 "2006-08-04T03:11:38Z")
Thanks. Saved me from saying it. BTW, “pouch” is also an acceptable answer. ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2006, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woody-stop-casting-yourself/367077/16 "2006-08-04T03:13:38Z")
[QUOTE=Zsofia] Hey, now! My dad’s 75 and I’m 26, and we don’t even live in Hollywood. [/QUOTE] Hey, he’s only 49 years older than you. No biggie. Your mom could have been in her 40s when you were born, no? Beats hell out of Tony Randall fathering a baby at 75. Hell, I didn’t even think they guy was _straight…_ ---
**Author:** ![supervenusfreak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@supervenusfreak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/supervenusfreak)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2006, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woody-stop-casting-yourself/367077/17 "2006-08-04T03:58:46Z")
Finally a “I hate Woody Allen in Woody Allen films” thread! I really like his movies, but I can’t stand him in them, for many of the reasons stated. He just creeps me out. Give me **Bullets over Broadway** or **Radio Days** anytime! Can anyone recommend any other “Woody-less” Woody Allen movies? ---
**Author:** ![pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a9a28c/32.png) [@pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pseudotriton_ruber_ruber)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2006, 10:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woody-stop-casting-yourself/367077/18 "2006-08-04T10:38:14Z")
[QUOTE=supervenusfreak] Finally a “I hate Woody Allen in Woody Allen films” thread! I really like his movies, but I can’t stand him in them, for many of the reasons stated. He just creeps me out. Give me **Bullets over Broadway** or **Radio Days** anytime! Can anyone recommend any other “Woody-less” Woody Allen movies? [/QUOTE] Match Point was kind of good. ---
**Author:** ![supervenusfreak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@supervenusfreak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/supervenusfreak)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2006, 12:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woody-stop-casting-yourself/367077/19 "2006-08-04T12:32:49Z")
[QUOTE=pseudotriton ruber ruber] Match Point was kind of good. [/QUOTE] Actually, I was thinking about renting that movie. I am going to add that to my Netflix list. ---
**Author:** ![DooWahDiddy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e9bcb4/32.png) [@DooWahDiddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DooWahDiddy)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2006, 1:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woody-stop-casting-yourself/367077/20 "2006-08-04T13:08:34Z")
[QUOTE=supervenusfreak] Actually, I was thinking about renting that movie. I am going to add that to my Netflix list. [/QUOTE] _Match Point_ was good, but unfortunately it’s the _exact_ same plot as _Crimes and Misdemeanors._ And I mean _exactly_. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woody-stop-casting-yourself/367077.md?page=2)