# "Woooo!!! I AM MASTURBATING LIKE A MOTHER FUCK!!!" **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 26, 2004, 9:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woooo-i-am-masturbating-like-a-mother-fuck/231264 "2004-02-26T09:06:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Muad\_Dib](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/35a633/32.png) [@Muad\_Dib](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muad_Dib)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2004, 9:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woooo-i-am-masturbating-like-a-mother-fuck/231264/1 "2004-02-26T09:06:39Z")
I was leaving work tonight, sometime around 11:00 pm, when I heard this. I work at one of the finest hotels in Sacramento California, aww heck, I’ll just say it, I work at the Hyatt Regency (it is where das Governator is currently living). I was leaving work, walking down one of the back halls, when I heard someone yell: “WOOOOO!!! I AM MASTURBATING LIKE A MOTHER FUCK!!!” I do not know who said this. I do not know why. I do not know if it was the punchline to a joke. I do not know if it was happening just then and he wanted to brag. I just know what I heard, and that it was among the most surreal moments of my life. (Posted here because of cursing) ---
**Author:** ![Ephemera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8baadc/32.png) [@Ephemera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ephemera)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2004, 9:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woooo-i-am-masturbating-like-a-mother-fuck/231264/2 "2004-02-26T09:10:33Z")
Was it said in a thick Austrian accent? ---
**Author:** ![asomihite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/848f3c/32.png) [@asomihite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/asomihite)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2004, 9:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woooo-i-am-masturbating-like-a-mother-fuck/231264/3 "2004-02-26T09:25:38Z")
Damn!! It’s cool that you used the word “surreal” to describe this experience. A friend of mine and me were talkin about surreal experiences the other day and he tried to say that to be surreal, the event had to be something that seriously impacted and possibly totally changed your life. I said “hell no it doesn’t.” A thread on surreal experiences might be kinda cool. I’m too tired to start it now though. ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Serpentine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3be4f8/32.png) [@Silver\_Serpentine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Serpentine)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2004, 12:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woooo-i-am-masturbating-like-a-mother-fuck/231264/4 "2004-02-26T12:50:45Z")
Ah. I see you’ve had an encounter with the elusive Lithuanian Ninja. ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Serpentine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3be4f8/32.png) [@Silver\_Serpentine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Serpentine)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2004, 12:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woooo-i-am-masturbating-like-a-mother-fuck/231264/5 "2004-02-26T12:52:02Z")
Oh yeah. And I think “surreal” means something so strange as to be dream-like (you know how wonky dreams are). Not like-changing. Pfffft. I could look it up, but I’m laaaaaaazy. ---
**Author:** ![htns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ba8739/32.png) [@htns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/htns)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2004, 12:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woooo-i-am-masturbating-like-a-mother-fuck/231264/6 "2004-02-26T12:56:59Z")
> [@Muad'Dib](#): > > I was leaving work tonight, sometime around 11:00 pm, when I heard this. I work at one of the finest hotels in Sacramento California, aww heck, I’ll just say it, I work at the Hyatt Regency (it is where das Governator is currently living). I was leaving work, walking down one of the back halls, when I heard someone yell: > > “WOOOOO!!! I AM MASTURBATING LIKE A MOTHER FUCK!!!” > > I do not know who said this. I do not know why. > I do not know if it was the punchline to a joke. I do not know if it was happening just then and he wanted to brag. > > I just know what I heard, and that it was among the most surreal moments of my life. > > (Posted here because of cursing) That’s hilarious! Thanks for making my morning! ---
**Author:** ![Casey1505](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dc4da7/32.png) [@Casey1505](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Casey1505)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2004, 1:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woooo-i-am-masturbating-like-a-mother-fuck/231264/7 "2004-02-26T13:21:35Z")
If he had time to comment on his activities, he obviously wasn’t giving his full attention to the task at hand. ---
**Author:** ![Philster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/13edae/32.png) [@Philster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Philster)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2004, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woooo-i-am-masturbating-like-a-mother-fuck/231264/8 "2004-02-26T13:45:04Z")
Did you hear, “All your jerk belong to us?” Because then it would have made a lot more sense. ---
**Author:** ![Horrifying\_Howler\_Monkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/df788c/32.png) [@Horrifying\_Howler\_Monkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horrifying_Howler_Monkey)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2004, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woooo-i-am-masturbating-like-a-mother-fuck/231264/9 "2004-02-26T13:55:54Z")
I would have pointed out how disturbing it was that he was thinking of fucking his mom while masturbating. ---
**Author:** ![Dante](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dante/32/9673_2.png) [@Dante](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dante)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2004, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woooo-i-am-masturbating-like-a-mother-fuck/231264/10 "2004-02-26T14:08:21Z")
You should have shouted back “When done masturbating, bring pie!” ---
**Author:** ![WernhamHogg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a587f6/32.png) [@WernhamHogg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WernhamHogg)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2004, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woooo-i-am-masturbating-like-a-mother-fuck/231264/11 "2004-02-26T14:18:17Z")
It’s not really surreal, just weird and disgusting. Surreal would have to be not only weird and surprising, but “unreal” or (more properly) transcending what you believe to be real. I wonder if surreal is the “ironic” of the new decade. I’ve heard it a lot lately. ---
**Author:** ![Chastain86](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Chastain86](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chastain86)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2004, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woooo-i-am-masturbating-like-a-mother-fuck/231264/12 "2004-02-26T14:18:26Z")
Did he follow it up with “SNOOTCH TO THE NOOCH, YOU FAT FUCK!” Because if he did, I might know who that is. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Flying\_Dutchman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/9fc348/32.png) [@The\_Flying\_Dutchman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Flying_Dutchman)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2004, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woooo-i-am-masturbating-like-a-mother-fuck/231264/13 "2004-02-26T14:54:16Z")
Was it a male or female voice? That would make a difference for me. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2004, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woooo-i-am-masturbating-like-a-mother-fuck/231264/14 "2004-02-26T14:57:51Z")
Give him a break, he probably just learned how. You know what they say - if masturbation offends you, just don’t sit by me on the bus. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![Tony\_Montana](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/278dde/32.png) [@Tony\_Montana](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tony_Montana)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2004, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woooo-i-am-masturbating-like-a-mother-fuck/231264/15 "2004-02-26T15:28:00Z")
> [@skutir](#): > > It’s not really surreal, just weird and disgusting. Surreal would have to be not only weird and surprising, but “unreal” or (more properly) transcending what you believe to be real. Who’s to say that it _didn’t_ trancend what he thought to be real? ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2004, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woooo-i-am-masturbating-like-a-mother-fuck/231264/16 "2004-02-26T15:46:17Z")
Dude, it’s California. Something like that should be par for the course. ---
**Author:** ![Starving\_Artist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/aeb1de/32.png) [@Starving\_Artist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Starving_Artist)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2004, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woooo-i-am-masturbating-like-a-mother-fuck/231264/17 "2004-02-26T15:46:56Z")
> [@asomihite](#): > > Damn!! It’s cool that you used the word “surreal” to describe this experience. A friend of mine and me were talkin about surreal experiences the other day and he tried to say that to be surreal, the event had to be something that seriously impacted and possibly totally changed your life. I said “hell no it doesn’t.” A thread on surreal experiences might be kinda cool. I’m too tired to start it now though. Could be your friend is thinking of an epiphany or a paradigm shift. ---
**Author:** ![Munch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/munch/32/5281_2.png) [@Munch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munch)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2004, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woooo-i-am-masturbating-like-a-mother-fuck/231264/18 "2004-02-26T16:11:46Z")
“If it wasn’t for my horse, I never would have spent that year in college.” -Overheard by Lewis Black ---
**Author:** ![MsRobyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/90ced4/32.png) [@MsRobyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsRobyn)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2004, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woooo-i-am-masturbating-like-a-mother-fuck/231264/19 "2004-02-26T16:19:28Z")
> [@Dante](#): > > You should have shouted back “When done masturbating, bring pie!” I don’t think I want pie from that guy. Robin ---
**Author:** ![WernhamHogg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a587f6/32.png) [@WernhamHogg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WernhamHogg)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2004, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woooo-i-am-masturbating-like-a-mother-fuck/231264/20 "2004-02-26T16:23:47Z")
> [@Tony Montana](#): > > Who’s to say that it _didn’t_ trancend what he thought to be real? Well, if you have to ask you don’t really understand the meaning of “surreal.” It’s not just something shocking and unexpected, but “having the intense irrational reality of a dream.” Hearing someone yell about masturbation is hardly “intensely irrational,” it’s just gross and weird. I see the English language has lost another word. It can join “literally” and “ironic” in the afterlife of words that used to have meaning and now mean nothing at all. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woooo-i-am-masturbating-like-a-mother-fuck/231264.md?page=2)