# "Woooo!!! I AM MASTURBATING LIKE A MOTHER FUCK!!!" **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 26, 2004, 9:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woooo-i-am-masturbating-like-a-mother-fuck/231264 "2004-02-26T09:06:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2004, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woooo-i-am-masturbating-like-a-mother-fuck/231264/21 "2004-02-26T16:24:42Z")
> [@Shodan](#): > > Give him a break, he probably just learned how. So, you’re saying that the Governator _did_ say it? ---
**Author:** ![vibrotronica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/a9a28c/32.png) [@vibrotronica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vibrotronica)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2004, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woooo-i-am-masturbating-like-a-mother-fuck/231264/22 "2004-02-26T16:44:02Z")
Best. Thread title. Ever! ---
**Author:** ![Greathouse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/greathouse/32/2992_2.png) [@Greathouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Greathouse)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2004, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woooo-i-am-masturbating-like-a-mother-fuck/231264/23 "2004-02-26T16:55:21Z")
> [@Chastain86](#): > > Did he follow it up with “SNOOTCH TO THE NOOCH, YOU FAT FUCK!” > > Because if he did, I might know who that is. Awsome! Fucking awsome! Now I have to explain to my coworkers what the hell was so funny. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![lightingtool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/57b2e6/32.png) [@lightingtool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lightingtool)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2004, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woooo-i-am-masturbating-like-a-mother-fuck/231264/24 "2004-02-26T18:14:01Z")
> [@skutir](#): > > Well, if you have to ask you don’t really understand the meaning of “surreal.” It’s not just something shocking and unexpected, but “having the intense irrational reality of a dream.” Hearing someone yell about masturbation is hardly “intensely irrational,” it’s just gross and weird. > > I see the English language has lost another word. It can join “literally” and “ironic” in the afterlife of words that used to have meaning and now mean nothing at all. Dude, get off your high horse.\* Do you wander around speaking 17th century English? Or do you use the language that has evolved since then? And even beyond that, I think you’re wrong. I ambled over to [dictionary.com](http://dictionary.com) (Whoops, I hope that’s good enough for a language fundie like yourself) and found the first definition of surreal to be “Having qualities attributed to or associated with surrealism.” So, I looked up surrealism: “A 20th-century literary and artistic movement that attempts to express the workings of the subconscious and is characterized by fantastic imagery and\*\* incongruous juxtaposition of subject matter\*\*.” I would say hearing someone shouting the now famous line, “Whoooo! I AM MASTURBATING LIKE A MOTHER FUCK!!!” while you’re just trying to go home after getting off (heh) work fits that definition. \*Alternate readings for that line inlcude: “When come down from horse, bring pie.” “Oh, that must be a 1920’s style death horse you’re on.” and, of course, “All your high horse belong to us.” ---
**Author:** ![Antigen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/848f3c/32.png) [@Antigen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antigen)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2004, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woooo-i-am-masturbating-like-a-mother-fuck/231264/25 "2004-02-26T18:23:41Z")
> [@Casey1505](#): > > If he had time to comment on his activities, he obviously wasn’t giving his full attention to the task at hand. Task at _hand_… heh heh. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![WernhamHogg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a587f6/32.png) [@WernhamHogg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WernhamHogg)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2004, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woooo-i-am-masturbating-like-a-mother-fuck/231264/26 "2004-02-26T18:28:14Z")
> [@lightingtool](#): > > Dude, get off your high horse.\* Do you wander around speaking 17th century English? Or do you use the language that has evolved since then? And even beyond that, I think you’re wrong. I ambled over to [dictionary.com](http://dictionary.com) (Whoops, I hope that’s good enough for a language fundie like yourself) and found the first definition of surreal to be “Having qualities attributed to or associated with surrealism.” So, I looked up surrealism: “A 20th-century literary and artistic movement that attempts to express the workings of the subconscious and is characterized by fantastic imagery and\*\* incongruous juxtaposition of subject matter\*\*.” I would say hearing someone shouting the now famous line, “Whoooo! I AM MASTURBATING LIKE A MOTHER FUCK!!!” while you’re just trying to go home after getting off (heh) work fits that definition. > \*Alternate readings for that line inlcude: “When come down from horse, bring pie.” “Oh, that must be a 1920’s style death horse you’re on.” and, of course, “All your high horse belong to us.” What’s this about a high horse? I merely project that “surreal” will, like so many other words, have basically no meaning in the near future because it’ll be used willy nilly to express anything, much like a few other words that have been recently reduced to mere syllables. I attribute no morals or ethics to the situation, perhaps a little disappointment. ---
**Author:** ![Astroboy14](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/df705f/32.png) [@Astroboy14](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Astroboy14)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2004, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woooo-i-am-masturbating-like-a-mother-fuck/231264/27 "2004-02-26T19:11:58Z")
Dang! I didn’t know I yelled that loudly enough for anyone to hear… Sorry 'bout that, dude! ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2004, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woooo-i-am-masturbating-like-a-mother-fuck/231264/28 "2004-02-26T19:36:43Z")
Only on the SDMB could a thread titled, “Woooo!!! I AM MASTURBATING LIKE A MOTHER FUCK!!!” turn into a discussion on semantics. ---
**Author:** ![plnnr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@plnnr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/plnnr)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2004, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woooo-i-am-masturbating-like-a-mother-fuck/231264/29 "2004-02-26T19:43:18Z")
Maybe it was Salvador Dali’s ghost - then you’d both be right. Or maybe Magritte - yeah, probably Magritte. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2004, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woooo-i-am-masturbating-like-a-mother-fuck/231264/30 "2004-02-26T19:54:20Z")
> [@skutir](#): > > Well, if you have to ask you don’t really understand the meaning of “surreal.” It’s not just something shocking and unexpected, but “having the intense irrational reality of a dream.” Hearing someone yell about masturbation is hardly “intensely irrational,” it’s just gross and weird. > > I see the English language has lost another word. It can join “literally” and “ironic” in the afterlife of words that used to have meaning and now mean nothing at all. What if the phrase in question really was uttered by Arnold Schwarzeneggar, who has just been elected the governor of California? Would that not have the irrational reality of a dream? I think the “surreality” of experience is somewhat subjective. It felt surreal to me (as if I was dreaming) when I got married and when my daughter was born but those are both perfectly ordinary experiences. I don’t the occasionally hyperbolic use of the term “surreal” is really on a par with the categorically incorrect use of the word “literally” in statements like “Watching the Passion was literally a kick in the stomach.” ---
**Author:** ![blowero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/41988e/32.png) [@blowero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blowero)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2004, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woooo-i-am-masturbating-like-a-mother-fuck/231264/31 "2004-02-26T20:09:46Z")
> [@Aesiron](#): > > Was it said in a thick Austrian accent? First, ve are allowing ze masturbating in der hotel room, zen it is license for marriage of same sex. Maybe ze next ting ees another city zat hands out licenses for assault weapons and someone else hands out die licenses for selling drugs, und dis und dat und tings of dis nature. I mean you can’t do that. ---
**Author:** ![Philster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/13edae/32.png) [@Philster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Philster)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2004, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woooo-i-am-masturbating-like-a-mother-fuck/231264/32 "2004-02-26T20:14:59Z")
Look, it’s obviously tied to George Bush, the popularity of being gay and the Passion of the Christ. I find it literally ironic on a surreal level that this could happen. Either that or an ignorant SUV driver ran the dude over befor he could finish the word ‘fucker’. Bill O’reilly is behind all of this! ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2004, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woooo-i-am-masturbating-like-a-mother-fuck/231264/33 "2004-02-26T20:30:59Z")
I never thought I’d find a reason to relay this story, but damned if I didn’t right here on the Straight Dope. My ex and I were split up, but we were sharing a room at a boarding house. He was seriously involved with another woman and I was still in love with him ( :smack: ). So, I’m locked out of the house and had to go in through the window. The ex is in bed, (heh) _MASTURBATING LIKE A MOTHER FUCK!_ I walk in and catch him in the act. He tells me the new girlfriend is floozing around on him. ☹ WOOOOO! I was getting even like a MOTHER FUCK!!! ---
**Author:** ![Morbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morbo/32/389_2.png) [@Morbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morbo)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2004, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woooo-i-am-masturbating-like-a-mother-fuck/231264/34 "2004-02-26T20:39:31Z")
Surreal would be if he followed it up with “GOTCHA YA!!!” ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2004, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woooo-i-am-masturbating-like-a-mother-fuck/231264/35 "2004-02-26T20:54:02Z")
I tried to post this earlier but the hamsters must have been on strike or something. I once spent a couple of weeks in a mental health facility, this particular facility was in a renovated home and served as an alternative to hospitalization. One day, as I walked past an upstairs bathroom, I heard a voice say, “Oooh, it’s so big!” in an obvious falsetto. I recognized the voice and nearly said, “Hey, Brendon, keep it down in there!” ---
**Author:** ![troub](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/troub/32/14802_2.png) [@troub](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/troub)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2004, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woooo-i-am-masturbating-like-a-mother-fuck/231264/36 "2004-02-26T22:28:52Z")
In other news, a man was arrested today on charges of distributing misleading phrasebooks to foreign travellers. . . Poorly remember Monty Python sketch ---
**Author:** ![samclem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a9a28c/32.png) [@samclem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/samclem)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2004, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woooo-i-am-masturbating-like-a-mother-fuck/231264/37 "2004-02-27T01:03:38Z")
So, you’re upset with the person’s verbal ejaculation, if I understand… ---
**Author:** ![MaxTheVool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9fc29f/32.png) [@MaxTheVool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MaxTheVool)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2004, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woooo-i-am-masturbating-like-a-mother-fuck/231264/38 "2004-02-27T01:11:38Z")
So what precisely was Hans “Yippy-kai-yay, Motherfuck” Gruber doing in Sacramento, anyhow? ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2004, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woooo-i-am-masturbating-like-a-mother-fuck/231264/39 "2004-02-27T03:01:21Z")
Want some pie? No thanks, I just Oedipus. ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2004, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woooo-i-am-masturbating-like-a-mother-fuck/231264/40 "2004-02-27T03:09:09Z")
**lieu** I am cuming to associate you with sexual threads/posts. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woooo-i-am-masturbating-like-a-mother-fuck/231264.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woooo-i-am-masturbating-like-a-mother-fuck/231264.md?page=3)