# "Woooo!!! I AM MASTURBATING LIKE A MOTHER FUCK!!!" **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 26, 2004, 9:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woooo-i-am-masturbating-like-a-mother-fuck/231264 "2004-02-26T09:06:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2004, 6:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woooo-i-am-masturbating-like-a-mother-fuck/231264/41 "2004-02-27T06:53:59Z")
> [@MsRobyn](#): > > I don’t think I want pie from that guy. > > Robin It’s the guy from that _American Pie_ movie, isn’t it! ---
**Author:** ![Morrigoon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/858c86/32.png) [@Morrigoon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morrigoon)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2004, 6:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woooo-i-am-masturbating-like-a-mother-fuck/231264/42 "2004-02-27T06:55:20Z")
> [@troub](#): > > In other news, a man was arrested today on charges of distributing misleading phrasebooks to foreign travellers. . . > > Poorly remember Monty Python sketch All your hovercraft are belong to eels… ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2004, 7:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woooo-i-am-masturbating-like-a-mother-fuck/231264/43 "2004-02-27T07:36:06Z")
Masturbating like a motherfuck is _not_ surreal. That, my friend, clearly falls under the rubric of _Dada_. Now, if he’d said “Whoo! I AM MASTURBATING LIKE AN EXQUISITE CORPSE, I AM ALL OVER AMORPHOUS BLOBS, PROPPED UP BY CRUDE CRUTCHES, AND COVERED WITH ANTS! ANTS THAT LOOK LIKE TINY VAGINAS, IF YOU LOOK CLOSELY!” _that_ would be surreal. ---
**Author:** ![HDS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/bb73d2/32.png) [@HDS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HDS)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2004, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woooo-i-am-masturbating-like-a-mother-fuck/231264/44 "2004-02-27T14:13:06Z")
Just wanted to say that while waiting on a customer yesterday I had a visual of Ah-nold doing just that while saying “mast-tah-bating lak a mudderfokk” and started giggling. He probably thought I had tampered with his order. ---
**Author:** ![cowgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8c91f0/32.png) [@cowgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cowgirl)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2004, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woooo-i-am-masturbating-like-a-mother-fuck/231264/45 "2004-02-27T14:20:19Z")
A friend once reported to me that a friend of hers boasted of having the skill of ‘masturbating like a demon.’ (This was even more funny because she had forgotten that I knew the friend in question.) Which led us to wonder … first of all, who _isn’t_ good at masturbating? I mean, really. Second, in what manner do demons masturbate, and how would she know? So many questions … ! ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2004, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woooo-i-am-masturbating-like-a-mother-fuck/231264/46 "2004-02-27T14:21:58Z")
> [@lieu](#): > > Want some pie? > > No thanks, I just Oedipus. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA! ---
**Author:** ![Elza\_B](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Elza\_B](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elza_B)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2004, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woooo-i-am-masturbating-like-a-mother-fuck/231264/47 "2004-02-27T16:27:51Z")
> [@Smeghead](#): > > Only on the SDMB could a thread titled, “Woooo!!! I AM MASTURBATING LIKE A MOTHER FUCK!!!” turn into a discussion on semantics. I’m covering for our receptionist today, and I swear to God, if I answer the phone one more time with “Good morning, _snuffle, snuffle, giggle, giggle_ Company Name, _snort, giggle, snort_”, I’m so going to get fired. Ava ---
**Author:** ![luluBahrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e5b9ba/32.png) [@luluBahrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/luluBahrain)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2004, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woooo-i-am-masturbating-like-a-mother-fuck/231264/48 "2004-02-27T16:52:17Z")
I am just poking my head in (heheh, I said head and poking) to say hello to the only other Sacramento Doper I have ever seen. Hellooooooooooo ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2004, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woooo-i-am-masturbating-like-a-mother-fuck/231264/49 "2004-02-27T17:00:44Z")
At least he comes when he calls. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2004, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woooo-i-am-masturbating-like-a-mother-fuck/231264/50 "2004-02-27T17:42:00Z")
> [@Larry Mudd](#): > > Masturbating like a motherfuck is _not_ surreal. This is correct. It would _only_ be surreal if it was heard in response to: “Father, forgive me, for I have sinned. It has been six weeks since my last confession.” Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Carrot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f0a364/32.png) [@Captain\_Carrot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Carrot)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2004, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woooo-i-am-masturbating-like-a-mother-fuck/231264/51 "2004-02-27T23:37:25Z")
> [@Smeghead](#): > > Only on the SDMB could a thread titled, “Woooo!!! I AM MASTURBATING LIKE A MOTHER FUCK!!!” turn into a discussion on semantics. > [@LarryMudd](#): > > Masturbating like a motherfuck is not surreal. > > That, my friend, clearly falls under the rubric of Dada. > > Now, if he’d said “Whoo! I AM MASTURBATING LIKE AN EXQUISITE CORPSE, I AM ALL OVER AMORPHOUS BLOBS, PROPPED UP BY CRUDE CRUTCHES, AND COVERED WITH ANTS! ANTS THAT LOOK LIKE TINY VAGINAS, IF YOU LOOK CLOSELY!” that would be surreal. May I have these for a sig line? ---
**Author:** ![OneYogini](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/b9e5f3/32.png) [@OneYogini](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneYogini)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2004, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woooo-i-am-masturbating-like-a-mother-fuck/231264/52 "2004-02-28T02:47:51Z")
FUCKING HILARIOUS!!! i’m crying… THANK YOU ALL!! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![gouda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c77e96/32.png) [@gouda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gouda)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2004, 12:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woooo-i-am-masturbating-like-a-mother-fuck/231264/53 "2004-02-28T12:54:03Z")
Burst out laughing three times - at work!! How on earth am I supposed to explain that to my boss?! Even thinking about the thread title (esp. the “wooooo”) gets me giggling!! ---
**Author:** ![pencilpusher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/d6d6ee/32.png) [@pencilpusher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pencilpusher)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2004, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woooo-i-am-masturbating-like-a-mother-fuck/231264/54 "2004-02-28T14:36:03Z")
Thanks guys. Now I have to explain to my hubby why there is coffee all over his desk and moniter! 😛 ---
**Author:** ![zephyrine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/35a633/32.png) [@zephyrine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zephyrine)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2004, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woooo-i-am-masturbating-like-a-mother-fuck/231264/55 "2004-02-28T14:40:32Z")
> [@samclem](#): > > So, you’re upset with the person’s verbal ejaculation, if I understand… Beautiful. ---
**Author:** ![flickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/7bcc69/32.png) [@flickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flickster)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2004, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woooo-i-am-masturbating-like-a-mother-fuck/231264/56 "2004-02-28T14:50:37Z")
hmmm sounds like he almost had a run-in with Pee Wee Herman. ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2004, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woooo-i-am-masturbating-like-a-mother-fuck/231264/57 "2004-02-28T15:27:29Z")
> [@skutir](#): > > What’s this about a high horse? I merely project that “surreal” will, like so many other words, have basically no meaning in the near future because it’ll be used willy nilly to express anything, much like a few other words that have been recently reduced to mere syllables. I attribute no morals or ethics to the situation, perhaps a little disappointment. Ah, but was that high horse the one-trick pony, or the dead one which people continue to beat? And are these horses distinct? And which of them contains the Platonic essence of equineness? ::: scares self, leaves thread :::: ---
**Author:** ![stpauler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9d8465/32.png) [@stpauler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stpauler)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2004, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woooo-i-am-masturbating-like-a-mother-fuck/231264/58 "2004-02-28T15:57:46Z")
Bolding mine: > [@Muad'Dib](#): > > (it is where **das** Governator is currently living). I love how you’ve neutered Arnie 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Carrot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f0a364/32.png) [@Captain\_Carrot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Carrot)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2004, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woooo-i-am-masturbating-like-a-mother-fuck/231264/59 "2004-02-28T17:02:32Z")
> [@stpauler](#): > > Bolding mine: > Quote: > Originally Posted by Muad’Dib > (it is where das Governator is currently living). > > I love how you’ve neutered Arnie _Das_ may be neuter, but _Governator_ (more accurately _gubernator_) is most definitely masculine. Mr. Schwarzenneger is a bilingual hermaphrodite/eunuch, with two identical pairs of male genitalia-one works, one doesn’t! (Well, he is at least bilngual, but Latin probably isn’t one of the languages he knows.) ---
**Author:** ![gluteus\_maximus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f17d59/32.png) [@gluteus\_maximus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gluteus_maximus)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2004, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woooo-i-am-masturbating-like-a-mother-fuck/231264/60 "2004-02-28T18:02:15Z")
> [@cowgirl](#): > > Which led us to wonder … first of all, who _isn’t_ good at masturbating? I mean, really. I think this is a very important, if not surreal, question, and one that bears repeating: Who among us is not good at masturbating? Please don’t be shy. Step right up and make your presence known. Once again… Anybody out there who can’t get themselves off? Wet dreams count! We’re all surrealists here! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woooo-i-am-masturbating-like-a-mother-fuck/231264.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woooo-i-am-masturbating-like-a-mother-fuck/231264.md?page=4)